by Emma Darcy
No surprise in that admission. Chloe couldn’t see Max not being in charge of everything to do with his life. She had to ask the big question now. ‘When, Max?’
‘The day you came here. I had a dinner date with Shannah that night. I couldn’t relate to her. I kept thinking of you.’
Relief swept through her. It sounded reasonable. Yet it didn’t really answer the accusations made by her mother and Tony. ‘Do you mean wanting me instead of her?’
‘Yes.’
She took a deep breath and blurted out, ‘Has everything you’ve done for me been about…about wanting me?’
His mouth quirked into an ironic little smile. ‘Chloe, I doubt there’s a man alive who wouldn’t find you desirable, but if you’re asking if it was lust driving me to take you into my protection that first night, no, it wasn’t.’
A flush of embarrassment burned her cheeks. Of course, it was a ridiculous assumption. He’d whipped her away from a nasty scene because he hadn’t wanted the whole focus of the launch party to be diverted into a gossip-fest that had nothing to do with the show.
‘I spoke the truth to you,’ he quietly assured her. ‘Protecting the star of my show, ensuring its success was my top priority. I moved straight into damage control. And I’d have to say I quite enjoyed doing it.’
Going into battle, she thought, not attaching his relish for it to anything personal to her until he added, ‘I’ve always liked you, Chloe. I didn’t like the way your mother handled you. I didn’t like your husband who was riding on your coat-tails. But that was none of my business until you gave me the go-ahead to act on your behalf to free you from both of them. Only then did I start thinking…she is now free to be with me.’
Having just reasoned away his actions, this statement came as a shock. Chloe didn’t know what to think of it and Max moved, startling her into rolling onto her back as he propped himself on his side, his eyes glittering with dark, ruthless purpose, his hand reaching out to cup her cheek and keep her attention fixed on him.
‘I wanted that, Chloe. I wanted that immediately. And proceeded to do everything possible to make it happen. For you to be with me,’ he said without the slightest hint of apology. ‘But it could only happen if you wanted it, too. If you chose to be with me.’
Choices…yes. All along he had presented her with choices; tempting choices, seductive choices, reasonable choices, everything possible that would appeal to her state of mind. And heart. She couldn’t call it a trap when she had walked into it willingly. Even though she had sensed that her white knight had a dark side, it hadn’t stopped her going with him, wanting to be with him.
He hadn’t interfered with her marriage. Tony had done that, not Max.
He hadn’t taken her over, as her mother had put it, colouring him with her own using mentality.
Yes, he had dumped Shannah Lian for her, and Chloe was glad she was the more desirable woman to him and he had been honest about it, acting honourably, ending one relationship before pursuing another.
He had done nothing wrong.
And everything right for her.
What more could she ask of him?
The frantic pumping of her heart eased.
He smiled, as though he knew the cloud of troubling concerns had lifted from her mind. ‘I think I’m good for you. Tell me if I’m not.’
The last of her inner tension dissolved in a gurgle of laughter. He was a beautiful man-an infinitely desirable man and she was enormously fortunate that he desired her. She raised her hands to cup his wickedly handsome face, smiling as she drew it down towards hers. ‘I like how good you are for me, Max.’
He laughed, his eyes twinkling delight in her response. Their kiss started with a sense of mutual joy in each other but quickly escalated into passion. Excitement fizzed through her body, re-energising it into a wild craving for more intimacy with him. He was ready for it, too. She reached down and stroked him, marvelling again at how hard and powerful he felt, elated that she stirred such strong desire in this marvellous man.
‘No more feeling passive,’ he murmured against her lips, then lifted her to sit astride him as he rolled onto his back, grinning a wicked invitation as he said, ‘Take me.’
She did, loving the sensation of slowly sinking down on him, feeling him filling her inside. Her grin back at him was pure blissful pleasure. He reached up and started caressing her breasts, his thumbs teasing her nipples, his dark eyes simmering a challenge for her to be as active as she liked. Chloe had never thought of herself as an exhibitionist, yet she revelled in rolling her hips, swaying her body in an intensely sensual and tantalising rhythm, watching him watching her, seeing the simmer in his eyes flare into a blaze of urgent need.
He whipped her onto her back, seizing control, plunging fast and furiously, driving her excitement to the same shattering peak as before, both of them crying out as they climaxed together, both of them subsiding into a languorous state of sweet satiation afterwards. Chloe lay in his embrace, savouring a sense of perfect happiness. She didn’t care if it was only ever going to be a temporary thing with Max. It was good. Better than anything she’d known in her entire life.
A questioning whine from the bedroom doorway snapped her head up from Max’s chest. Luther! He was standing quite normally on his sturdy little legs, his eyes bright, his head cocked to one side, observing the fact there were two people on the bed instead of one and looking not too sure that he wouldn’t get kicked again.
‘It’s okay, Luther,’ Chloe promised him. ‘See-’ Max obligingly raised his head ‘-it’s Max.’
‘Come on, little fella. Want to join us?’ Max crooned at him, throwing out a welcoming arm.
Luther happily scampered over to the bed and Max gently scooped him onto it, whereupon the little dog darted from one to the other, licking their faces in exuberant pleasure that all was well in their world. Clearly he’d suffered no damage from Tony’s kick, and they finally settled him down between them, stroking him into blissful contentment.
‘I’m glad I gave him to you,’ Max said in a fond tone. ‘If he hadn’t been barking his head off this afternoon, alerting me to trouble, I’d still be wondering how long I’d have to wait before you felt comfortable about admitting the attraction between us.’
She sighed over the needless tension she’d put herself through. ‘I thought I kept it hidden from you.’
He shook his head. ‘You can’t hide sexual chemistry, Chloe, and it’s always been there between us. It was why you never felt comfortable in my presence. You clung to your mother or Tony, using them as safety barriers because you didn’t feel safe with me.’
His perception shamed her in a way because she hadn’t faced up to the truth in the past, her mind instinctively shying away from examining the feelings he stirred in her, labeling him dangerous-to be avoided whenever possible, kept at a distance when he was unavoidable. ‘Well, I feel safe with you now,’ she said decisively.
Although she wasn’t safe from falling in love with him.
And he would move on from her, just as he’d moved on from Shannah Lian. That was his well-documented reputation with women, as her mother had pointed out. She couldn’t expect it to turn out differently with her. She still had to keep Max at a distance…from her heart.
He frowned at her. ‘What are you thinking?’
‘I’m thinking I’ll take all you want to give me of yourself for as long as you want me with you, but I mustn’t get too addicted to it because it will come to an end sooner or later.’
Max instantly thought, I might not want it to come to an end, but he pulled himself back from saying it. He’d never held out even the suggestion of a lasting relationship to any woman and it would be wrong to plant the idea of it Chloe’s mind. He didn’t know the future. He knew this woman was different to the others who’d passed through his life, knew she evoked feelings that were not usually touched in him, but this was all very new and it was happening now. Next month…next year…sooner or later…the feel
ings might wane.
‘All I want to give you of myself,’ he repeated musingly, his eyes teasing hers. ‘That’s a sweeping statement, Chloe. You might want to draw limits. You can, you know. You’re free to make whatever choices you like. I don’t own you. I hope you won’t ever let anyone own you again.’
It was good advice and he saw it sink in, saw her shedding the kind of ownership her mother and husband had inflicted on her, saw the realisation that her life was hers to shape any way she liked, saw the will to do it being born, saw her slipping away from him.
Which gave him the weird sense that he’d just cut his own throat and might end up bleeding to death from caring about her too much.
But it was still good advice and he wouldn’t take it back.
He didn’t want to be selfish with her.
She deserved to flower into the person she could be, freed from the suppression of her past life. He would enjoy watching her become that person-a survivor like him, moving forward, finding her own sunshine, opening up to it, seizing the opportunities that appealed to her. The husk of her mother’s Chloe would be left behind and the Maria in her mind would emerge.
Maria…
Mary…
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHLOE did set limits. She would not go out in public with Max. First, it was bound to create a frenzy of gossip, bringing the paparazzi down on her like a cloud of bees, just when they’d lost interest since nothing juicy had eventuated from her move to Max’s guest house. Second, the cast of the show would inevitably treat her differently. She’d already had a taste of that and decided that it would be much easier working with them if their suspicions about her relationship with Max were not confirmed. Third, she didn’t want to give Tony any nasty ammunition to fire at her, nor give her mother the smug satisfaction that once again she’d known better than Chloe. Which she hadn’t, but she’d think it.
‘When we’ve finished shooting this season’s episodes for the show, and I’ve moved to a place of my own, then I’ll go out with you if you still want me to,’ she’d said, being very firm on this point.
‘Uh-huh,’ Max had agreed, a gleam of wry amusement in his eyes. ‘I can see that making an independent stand is important to you. But in the meantime, can we carry on in private?’
She’d laughed and hugged him. ‘I’d be very disappointed if we didn’t.’
‘Then I shall attempt to make what time we have together as entertaining as I can.’
He did. For Chloe it was almost an idyllic existence, living in the children’s house and being with Max. There were so many pleasures-making love, watching episodes of M*A*S*H together, sailing, lazing by the pool, sharing the delicious dinners Elaine cooked for them in the big house, watching and discussing television shows Max was interested in acquiring.
At first she’d been a bit self-conscious about their new relationship where the three E’s were concerned, but she needn’t have worried about their reaction to it. Edgar maintained his air of deference at all times. Elaine, who was an avid fan of the show and loved how Chloe played her part in it, was only too happy to have a closer acquaintance with her and always welcomed Luther into her kitchen. Eric seemed to assume she was becoming a fixture at Hill House and took to asking her opinion of whatever he’d been doing around the grounds.
It would have been so easy to let everything else slide. Happiness was addictive. But the sense that she had to get her own life in order-apart from Max-could not be ignored. That had been her worst mistake in the past, letting things slide. She would not be guilty of it again.
Max gave her the name of a good divorce lawyer, whom she met, subsequently setting the ultimate separation from Tony in motion, listening very carefully to the legal issues involved so she could fully understand her position and make sensible decisions. The lawyer assured her he would negotiate a fair settlement with Tony, not allowing her husband to milk the divorce for more than he was entitled to.
She bought herself a little car, a white VW Beetle, which was cute and comfortable and easy to park in the city. Having acquired her own transport, as well as the confidence to handle her own problems, she dispensed with Gerry Anderson’s services, thanking the security guard for having taken such good care of her and Luther.
‘A pleasure, Miss Rollins. You have my card. Call me if you ever have a problem I can help you with,’ he’d said with a touching sincerity, which left Chloe feeling she had a ready friend if she ever required a security guard again.
She needed the car in her hunt for suitable accommodation. Her choice was limited because most apartment complexes would not allow pets and no way was she going to part with Luther. She didn’t want to commit herself to buying a property, not before her divorce was settled, so finding something right to rent was difficult. Saturday mornings were taken up with looking at places, none of which really fitted her requirements.
‘I’d like something close to a park that I can take Luther to,’ she remarked to Max after being disappointed in her search once again.
‘There’s no time pressure, Chloe. I’m perfectly happy for you to stay on here beyond the two months,’ he assured her.
She gave him an arch look. ‘I don’t intend to hang on until it doesn’t suit you, Max.’
He frowned. ‘I wasn’t suggesting you do.’ The dark brilliant eyes sharply probed hers. ‘I like what we have together, Chloe. It may suit me for a very long time.’
Her heart skipped a beat. She liked it, too. She loved it. But indulging in forever dreams with Max was not good for her. A long time might only mean a year or two.
Max watched the temptation to stay with him slip into uncertainty and the urge to do battle with her doubts was too insistent to deny. He liked coming home to her, more than he could ever have imagined coming home to anyone. He felt a buzz of joyful anticipation each time he drove through the gateway and it wasn’t so much the welcoming sight of Hill House he looked forward to, but being with Chloe again. She delighted him in every sense.
‘You’re happy here,’ he argued. ‘Luther is happy here. Eric and Elaine are happy to mind him when you go out. When we go out. As we will as soon as your work on this season’s episodes is done.’
They were in the children’s house and he drew her into his embrace, deliberately reminding her of the ready intimacy they shared. He stroked her cheek as his eyes bored into hers, commanding her surrender to his will. ‘You love this place,’ he said with soft seductive persuasion. ‘You have your own car, your independence. You can pay me rent if that will make you feel more right about staying on.’ He moved his fingers to her lips, arousing sensitivity to his touch. ‘I want you to stay, Chloe.’
He saw a multitude of emotions warring in her eyes-desire, hope, yearning, fear, panic…the latter jolting his drive to win what he wanted.
She pushed away from him, words tumbling out in a desperate burst. ‘I can’t, Max. I can’t. Don’t ask me to.’
Her hands clapped her cheeks, smacking off the lingering influence of his touch. Her eyes begged him to understand. Max didn’t but he stood still, instinctively knowing he had to wait for her to explain, not press for anything. It appalled him that he had struck fear in her. She was precious to him. Hurting her in any shape or form had never been his intention.
Her hands dropped from her face. She wrung them as she gulped in deep breaths, struggling for control of the agitation that had gripped her. Max was acutely aware of feeling more tension than he did in any critical business meeting. He’d always been prepared for them, confident of coming out on top, but he’d had no experience of what was happening here and now with Chloe.
She gathered herself to speak. ‘All my life…’ She stopped, swallowed hard, started again. ‘For most of my life, I did what my mother wanted. I learned…she made me learn…it was easier to obey, easier not to resist, easier just to fall in with whatever she decided.’
Max saw the memories of punishment flit through her eyes and his jaw clenched at a surge of hat
red for Stephanie Rollins. He’d been the victim of negligence, indifference, crazy outbursts of emotion from his own mother throughout his boyhood, but never cruelly pressured into performing to her will.
‘Then when I married Tony and realised I was only a tool to him, too…someone he could use to get what he wanted…I took the easy path again, letting him do it because at least he made the process more pleasant than my mother did. He pretended to love me. I could live with that. He made it easy.’
The con man keeping his gravy train sweet, Max thought in blistering contempt. Yet a disturbing niggle of conscience started whispering he was doing a very similar thing.
‘And it would be all too easy for me to stay on here with you, Max,’ Chloe went on, nailing the tack he had used to keep her with him. ‘But if I did that, I’d be slipping back into the same old pattern that I need to break, giving you control of my life instead of being in charge of it myself.’
‘No!’ he vehemently denied. ‘I would not control your life, Chloe. You’d always have freedom of choice with me.’
Pained eyes looked back at him. ‘I can’t choose when you’ll meet some other woman who sparks your interest, Max. Shannah Lian had no choice at all in the end, did she?’
But it’s different with you.
The words burned to be said. He barely stopped them from exploding off his tongue. As true as it was, it didn’t promise the kind of longevity that would mean they would never part. They were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. The deeply honed pragmatic part of his mind dictated a much longer period was required to test the depth of his feelings for her. Rushing into some rash declaration would not serve either of them well.
‘I need a place of my own, Max,’ she asserted with quiet conviction, her eyes pleading for his acceptance. No more argument. ‘I don’t ever want to feel again I have nowhere to go if…other things…start falling apart.’ Her lips quivered into a wry little smile. ‘It might not be so convenient for you…for either of us…’