by Moxie North
Anson didn’t feel like letting her go yet so he answered. “I was nearby. I heard you.”
“Heard me? How close were you?”
“The front porch.”
Piper pushed away from him. “You were on my porch? Were you stopping by for some reason? It’s the middle of the night.”
“I… I’ve been watching over you.”
“Watching over me? But I’m safe here.”
“No, Piper, you’re not. You’re not safe anywhere.”
“Then what the hell? I’m paying KSI to drive me around, that’s it. Is this a way to tack on extra charges?”
Anson glared at her. “You think that’s something we would do?” Piper didn’t answer so he continued, “I didn’t feel that you were safe here alone, so I took it upon myself to watch your front door. I wouldn’t have let anything get to you.”
She tried to push out of his arms and he tightened them.
“I’m not your responsibility. I haven’t even seen you in days. Now you say you’ve been sleeping on my porch?”
“What can I say, I provide excellent service.”
“Anson, cut the crap. You shouldn’t even be here.”
“I know. I just can’t seem to help myself,” Anson admitted. He didn’t know why, but keeping her alive was more important than just earning his paycheck. His instincts were telling him that she was special. Why she was he didn’t know. But his instincts had never led him wrong. It had also kept him alive many a time.
“Why not? Luca and the other guys have been taking good care of me. Luca actually told me off today.”
“Why the fuck did he do that?”
“Because I needed it. I wasn’t being smart. He reminded me that I have to help myself too. I can’t just assume that the world is going give me a break.”
“He still shouldn’t yell at you.”
“Stop getting off the topic. Why were you on my porch?”
“Because if go home, I can’t sleep. I lie awake worrying about you.”
Piper frowned at him. “Do you always put this much effort into your jobs?”
Anson sighed before answering, “No, I don’t. That’s why this isn’t how things are supposed to go. I’m supposed to drop you off and then not worry about you again. But I can’t seem to do that. My desire to know that you’re safe is overwhelming.”
“Desire?”
Anson didn’t know how to explain his feelings for her. He knew he shouldn’t be having them in the first place. He also didn’t know if she would even care that he was struggling.
“Have you ever wanted something and knew it might not be good for you?”
“Am I the thing that’s not good for you? Are you talking about me?”
Anson wasn’t sure if he should tell her. It could compromise his ability to protect her. If she told him or King that she didn’t want him around anymore it would drive him insane.
“I’m concerned about your safety. I don’t want you to think that I’m distracted and not doing my job because of it.”
“So, I’m different? You know I’ve already come to that conclusion. My only hopes for the future are to not be looking over my shoulder anymore. I don’t think that I’ll ever try to be with anyone again. It’s too painful when they walk away. I almost didn’t put myself back together after the last time. I know that I won’t be able to survive it again.”
“Damn it, Piper, you deserve to be loved.”
“What I deserve doesn’t really matter. I’ve been rejected and dumped. Horribly so. I just want to live out the rest of my life quietly. My job gives me satisfaction, my family gives me love. It’s going to have to be enough for me.”
“That’s fucking sad. You should be taken care of, loved, adored. You’re funny and sexy. You’re smart and brave.”
Piper starting laughing, her tears drying on her cheeks. “I think you’re the only person that thinks that.”
Anson had to wonder if that was true. Whatever he was feeling for her meant something. But pushing a connection out of the desire for a mate usually didn’t work. The universe had a plan. Anson always believed that. He spent too much time outside in nature to not feel a connection with the entire universe. But his feelings towards Piper might just be a need he wasn’t fulfilling in his life. Maybe he needed a vacation. Or his world had been too tame. A good bout of danger usually helped settle his need for something different and reset his focus. Not feeling like he should share with her feelings that he wasn’t even sure of, he avoided answering her.
“Let’s get you to bed.”
“Excuse me?”
“You—bed. I’ll stay here. If you don’t mind, I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“You don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re upset and I won’t be able to sleep if I leave. Let’s give both of our brains a break and get some sleep. I’ll take four hours of solid sleep right now.”
“I haven’t been sleeping well,” she admitted.
“I know, you sleep on the couch. The television is blaring all night. It’s amazing you can stand up in the morning.”
Piper pushed herself off his lap. “I’m too tired to fight with you.”
“It’s easier if you don’t.”
“Bossy.”
“Get used to it. You seem to need someone to help you out for your own good right now.”
“I’ll argue with you in the morning.”
“I’ll be here to do that. Come on, you’re sleeping in that ridiculous princess bed in the other room.”
“It’s not a princess bed… it’s supposed to be romantic.”
“It looks like something you could drown in.”
“Exactly,” she sniffed.
Anson stood and pulled her up from the floor. Her head barely reached his shoulder when she tilted her head up to him. “Is this considered pro bono work?”
“Tonight it is. I’ll also be taking you to your parents’ house tomorrow. I already got the text from Luca.”
“Oh great, you’ll be easy to explain.”
“I’ll help you. You don’t need to do all of this on your own, Piper.”
The look she gave him didn’t show any confidence from her. He hated that she was so alone. Her parents hopefully will help ease her burden. She might not know it, but Anson wasn’t going to let her continue shouldering her burden alone.
Chapter 11
Piper didn’t understand how she had gotten into the situation she was currently in. Her world was chaotic, sure, but the last twelve hours had made the whole thing seem downright comical.
Anson was true to his word. He’d slept on the floor next to her bed, his large frame a dark shape against the carpet. She thought she’d lay awake worried that he was there. She didn’t feel brave enough to offer to let him sleep in bed with her. That would probably be against some kind of company rule, not that sleeping over seemed to be the norm. She gave him blankets and pillows and he set up on the floor in what could only be described as a nest.
The first few moments she could swear she could hear both of them breathing into the dark. The next thing she knew, she was waking up with the light shining in through the window. Peeking over the edge of the bed, there was no Anson. Just empty floor and she thought for a moment that she might have dreamed the whole thing.
That wouldn’t have been a bad thing. Not having cried her eyes out in front of him would have been wonderful. He’d picked her up like she weighed nothing and held her as she soaked the front of his shirt. He’d talked softly to her, told her that she was worth the effort. Things that she used to be really good at telling herself. But after Darius, those words didn’t come easily to her anymore. It was nice to hear someone say those words, even if she didn’t believe them.
A pile of neatly folded blankets on the chest at the end of her bed told her that the previous night wasn’t a dream. She wasn’t sure how she was going to face him, so she’d taken her time showering and getting ready.
Part
ies at her parents’ house were casual so she chose a pair of jeans with holes in the knees and her favorite fuzzy boots. She layered on a long-sleeve brown shirt and a dark blue down vest for warmth. It didn’t matter that it was October in the Pacific Northwest, her parents had designed their dream house so that they could BBQ year round with a large covered deck off the back of the house and strategically placed heaters that kept the outside space comfortable no matter the weather.
Piper knew that she needed to have the heart-to-heart with them first, and then she planned on finding a stiff drink and parking herself near the fire pit for the remainder of the night. Not knowing if Anson was going to blend in or stick out, she pushed the thought away. There was no use worrying about it right now anyway.
When she came downstairs, she found Anson in her kitchen making eggs and toast. He was wearing her favorite frilly apron with the teapots on it. The sight was unsettling at first. Then she took in the whole picture so she could commit it to memory. It was definitely something she wanted to go over again in her free time. She’d stopped short and gave him a look. He turned around and gave her a look right back. There was a short standoff while they both reviewed each other’s attire.
He quickly informed her he didn’t want to spill on his clothes. Piper was going to suggest he could go change, but she also knew that there wasn’t any chance he was going to get more than a few steps from her at the moment. She could see it in his flashing silver eyes. Whatever woman ended up with Anson as a mate was going to be well watched. She could see that he was the type to hover in that constant state of anticipation. Her father was that way with her mother. He spoiled her rotten. Piper knew that her dad was one in a million so she never put her hopes that high for her partners.
They ate breakfast and drank coffee in relative silence, neither bringing up the night before. Things were said that really couldn’t be explained away yet. It wasn’t until they were on the ferry heading across the water to Whidbey Island that they even started talking in earnest again. She was replaying everything he said now that they were driving to her parents’ house. He’d laid it out for her and she was still reeling.
“Piper, you can be honest with me. I realize that I might be feeling things that aren’t the same for you.”
Piper was leaning over the railing, her gaze on the waves splashing against the hull. She loved being out on the deck even when it was cold. The salty air and seagulls always managed to bring her a moment of peace. This time the rushing water made his words even clearer.
He was hinting at something that wasn’t possible. She barely knew him. Piper wasn’t going to deny that she wasn’t attracted to him. That she didn’t find his gruffness funny and if she was a different person in a different life, she’d be flattered by the big shifter setting his eyes on her.
“It wouldn’t matter if I did. I’m damaged goods.” She didn’t want to say the words. They hurt even coming from her own mouth. But it was for his own good to be honest with him. She was a cautionary tale and he had to realize that he deserved better.
“Don’t fucking say that. You’re not.”
“Anson, can you imagine trying to explain my past to someone I wanted to date? I have stop signs all over me. Only a fool would take a chance on me. Those that would, well, then I would have to call their reasoning into question. No man wants my level of baggage. Those types are either the kind that like the broken ones or want to break you further.”
“I know your past and I don’t mind.”
Piper made a choking sound. “You’re also Kindred. You know that your mate is out there. You can find your true love anytime. It must be nice to have that level of certainty. Humans don’t get that. My experience tells me that it’s even rare for us. Anyone can change their mind and move on to greener pastures.”
“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” he said, his voice low and rumbling. She could feel it against her skin when he spoke.
“A woman in need of rescuing? I’m sure you get plenty of those.”
“No, a woman that has rescued herself so many times that she only asked for help because she was afraid for her life. I get that. You were smart. You did what you could all along. Now I’m going to be the one to make sure this person leaves you alone and stops interfering with your future.”
“Anson. You’re… handsome and strong. You know that to a human you’re very attractive. I’m not going to say I’m not attracted to you because I’m a living, breathing woman. It would be a lie. I also know that I’m a hot mess and your mate is out there somewhere. Heartache is not what I want or need right now and that’s the only way it would end up.”
Piper had felt horrible saying it. She didn’t understand his attraction to her. There was no way it wasn’t coming out of pity. She didn’t blame him for it. She was pretty pitiful. But that wasn’t what she wanted from him. Anson was going to have a normal, happy life that didn’t include her in it. That was what he was supposed to have. If KSI could solve her problem then she might have some kind of future too. It might not be as amazing as what he had in store, but at this point in her life, she’d take quiet and alive.
“You don’t understand. I’m going to make you understand this,” he said, leaning over the railing next to her, trying to get in her face.
Piper didn’t bother arguing with him. She fixed her gaze out at the water and the ships that were passing by them in the channels. That would be her and Anson. Two ships passing, leaving nothing but small wakes behind to remember they were even there.
Anson’s jaw hurt from flexing it. Piper’s harsh words about herself infuriated him. He understood that what she had been through would put anyone into a depression and a state of distrust. He was amazed that she wasn’t suffering from long-term stress over her situation. Her ability to keep moving ahead was nothing short of amazing. Even her feelings that there was something wrong with her and that’s why her weddings never happened could be explained.
It was the fact that she thought she didn’t ever deserve to be happy that made him angry. If anyone deserved a future, it was Piper. But she had already resigned herself to giving up and being alone. There was no way that it made sense for that to be true. Anson knew there was someone that could explain his feelings for her and he wasn’t sure if he could call her. There weren’t rules in place so much as a healthy respect for those that knew things others didn’t. Mary, Clan Fehu’s Crone, would surely have seen some signs if this was supposed to happen.
His feelings for Piper could be just that she made his physical desires so hard to ignore. He liked being around her, even if it was just sitting on her front porch. Anson felt settled with her near. His other jobs had been harder just knowing he was away from her. He liked managing her, not that he’d ever tell her that. It made him feel needed in a way that working his other KSI security jobs didn’t.
He watched her looking over the water, her short hair covered by a slouching black knit cap. She had her arms wrapped around her body with her shoulders hunched up to her ears.
Knowing he shouldn’t, but being drawn to her anyway, he stood behind her, hoping some of his heat would transfer. He watched her hesitate then lean back into him. She liked him. He could see it when her eyes traveled over him. Her scent changed around him. She was choosing to ignore her feelings. The worst part of everything she had said was about his future mate. She wasn’t wrong. There was a woman out there for him. The union his fathers shared always made him wish for that connection. The one that never wavered no matter what kinds of trials you had to go through.
Every Kindred wanted their mate. He couldn’t remember ever thinking it was something that wouldn’t happen for him. Maybe he needed to talk to his dads. It had been almost a week. He always let them know when he’d be out of town and when he returned. Piper’s assignment had kept him close by and there was no reason he shouldn’t have kept in touch. Maybe his dads would be able to explain to him why he was struggling so much. Then again, they might tell
him he’s an idiot for considering a human that wasn’t his mate.
Wrapping his arms around Piper, he grabbed the railing on either side of her. If he couldn’t give her the support she needed on the inside he could keep the wind from knocking her over on the ferry.
Chapter 12
Anson stood outside on the deck of Piper’s parents’ home. They had been surprised to see him behind their daughter when they walked in the door together. Her mother, Cynthia, broke out in a smile assuming he was a new boyfriend. Her father, Angus, gave him a look that was none too friendly.
Piper quickly explained that Anson worked for her and she needed to speak to them privately. Their expressions changed and when Anson had started to follow to help her, she’d turned to him, placing her hand on his chest. “I need to do this on my own.”
He’d nodded and excused himself to the expansive deck that overlooked the Puget Sound. Picking up his phone, he made his first call to his dads. He’d expected his dad Sean to answer. Instead, his Papa Jory picked up.
“Anson, it’s been a while. We thought you must be off on an adventure or doing something top secret.”
“No, Papa, just busy. I’m sorry I haven’t called.”
“Son, you know we’re well aware that you can take care of yourself. We stopped really worrying about you a while ago.”
“Really? You don’t worry about me at all?”
“Fine, we worry a little. But we’d never tell you that,” his father laughed.
“Where’s Dad at?”
“He’s off to see if he can rustle up some salmon for dinner,” Jory laughed.
“Is he catching it or buying it?” Anson always gave his dad a hard time. He was a tiger shifter and had a penchant for sushi. Jory was a bear like him, and they had a special bond because of it.
“Buying it. You know he loves going down to the boats.”
Anson’s parents lived north of Seattle in Kirkland. They had wanted to settle their family outside the city and had moved there when Anson was young. His birth parents, Callie and Jack of Clan Fehu had died tragically in a house fire. It had started fast and his parents had only enough time to throw him out a second-story window. When his grandparents took him in they made the decision with the Clan leader to allow another Clan family to adopt him. It was common practice among heart-bound Kindred, those that mated to other Kindred and couldn’t have children. It allowed the Clan to continue and thrive, and for babies to grow up with loving parents. Anson’s dads always talked about his birth parents. He knew all of their family and visited regularly. He considered himself the luckiest kid with four sets of grandparents.