by S. J. Sylvis
“What’s going on?” I said, softly, trying to coax it out of her.
Her words broke me in half. My world stopping moving. “I don’t think you and I are going to work.”
One minute passed without a single peep from either of us.
The next minute passed and I lowered my hand.
The third minute went by and…nothing.
I was giving her time to explain. I was giving her time to break out in laughter because there was no fucking way she was being serious.
But she was.
I saw it in her eyes.
I watched the sparkle and glimmer she had when staring at me disappear. It damn-near killed me.
“Why?” I finally asked, still not fully believing what was happening.
My heart twisted in my chest with every breath she took. It felt like it was being wrung out every few seconds, as if someone had a hold of it and was squeezing it until I just gave in and stopped fighting the feeling of pure despair trying to suffocate me.
Her voice wobbled as she stepped back through the threshold of Becca’s tiny house. “I just don’t think we can be anything more than friends. I need some time.”
She could barely get the words out, and I studied her so fucking hard I could probably carve a sculpture of her with my eyes shut.
She was lying.
Flat-out lying to me.
I knew when she was lying and she was.
Even as kids, she was a shit liar. Her nose would twitch, her small nostrils flaring just slightly. Her eyes would dart to the side and her mouth would form a straight line.
She was lying… but why?
I stepped back with one foot, then the other. Never taking my eyes of her.
She finally brought her head up and I could see it clearly; she was utterly broken.
This wasn’t right.
Ivy was forced away from me six years ago, it was inevitable. We were too young to truly do anything about it.
But now?
I’d be fucking damned if she was taken away from me this time.
There was no going back now.
I told her I would never stop chasing her, and I always keep my word.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ivy
“What in the actual hell, Ivy!” Becca shouted, throwing her hands over her mouth.
I knew I could trust Becca. I had trusted her six years ago when I left. I had begged her not to tell Dawson anything, and I knew that if I asked her to keep another secret, she’d do it, and I had to tell someone.
I wasn’t sure if Dawson would look for me at her house or not, but when I heard the pounding on her door a couple hours ago, I instantly knew it was him.
It was almost as if I could sense him, and I would be lying if I said I was upset to see him. It made the last little sliver of my heart that was keeping me alive, happy. I wanted him to fight for me. I wanted him to fix it, but he couldn’t fix what he didn’t even know was broken.
“We cannot let her get away with this! Hell, I’ll pay for Mia’s college. Just tell her to give up her scholarship and transfer. Plus, does bitch-face even really have an ‘in’ with the dean? Like, come on!”
I shrugged, eyeing the open wine bottle on Becca’s table. I hadn’t drank anything. I wanted to. I wanted to guzzle the bottle, maybe even take it to bed with me so that way, when I woke up and realized that this wasn’t an awful dream, I could just drink more. But I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. Like there was a bowling ball lying inside, making me feel heavy and just…sick.
I just felt sick.
Trying to smile at Becca, I said, “You’re a teacher. You’re poorer than I am.”
Her eyes moved to mine and then she chuckled. “You’re right, but Ivy, this isn’t right. We cannot let this happen. There has to be another way. You and Dawson are not breaking up because Breanna’s mom has a hard-on for him.”
“It has nothing to do with Dawson.” I shook my head. “I mean, she said that Breanna would realize that she belonged with him or whatever, but it wasn’t really about her or him. It was about me. It was about my mom, which is ridiculous because my mom is dead! Both of my parents are dead! Why isn’t that enough for her?!”
My lip began to tremble as the waterworks started to whirl.
It wasn’t often that I cried or felt sorry for myself. I knew what real pain was and I knew that crying wouldn’t solve anything but right now, I was feeling pretty fucking sorry for myself.
I was feeling even sorrier for Dawson because the look on his face earlier was the most sickening thing of this entire situation and honestly, I felt a little bad for Mrs. Connors, too, because she was obviously sick in the head.
Okay, I wasn’t really feeling bad for her, but she must lead a pretty terrible life to be this evil.
She was pure evil.
At least now I know where Breanna got it all those years ago. Her mom was probably whispering in her ear at night while she was sleeping ways to make my life a living hell.
Just add Breanna to my list of people to feel sorry for, too.
“We will figure it out, Ivy. Just calm down.”
I shook my head, tears slowly falling down my face. My heart felt like it was gone. I wasn’t even sure how I was still alive.
I felt like the Tin Man.
I watched Dawson pull back and stare at me, jaw clenched tight, working back and forth. His chest lifting and falling fast, hands clenched down by his sides. The more he studied my face, the angrier he became. My heart thrashed in my chest, banging off every single bone in my body. It was begging me to tell him the truth, to work something out.
Just wait for me until Mia is done with school. Pretend to love Breanna when you really love me.
Let’s hit Mrs. Connors with your truck.
Do some work on their roof and accidentally let the entire thing collapse on her.
To be honest, I couldn’t even think straight.
I felt exhausted and overwhelmed.
“Can I just stay here tonight?” I asked Becca, furiously wiping at the tears on my face.
“Of course, Ivy.” She quickly walked over to me, sitting down on the couch, wrapping her warm arms around me.
For a brief second, I thought the one thought that I hadn’t had in a long, long time.
I wish my mom was here.
✽✽✽
How did I ever survive living without Dawson for six years? It’d been two days and I literally felt like I was missing a freaking limb. We officially had the shortest spurt of love in the entire world.
How long was it for Romeo and Juliet? Longer than a week, right?
I mean, yes, I’d loved Dawson forever. I’m pretty sure I loved him in seventh grade when I spotted him across our middle school gym for the first time, but I’m referring to the actual love-making, gaga eyes, I-love-you kisses when we’d part for the day. Only a week? Why did it feel so much longer than that?
Why did it feel like I’d been with him for my entire life? Like my soul had always been tethered to his. I wasn’t sure I believed in reincarnation but now I was second-guessing myself.
Maybe Dawson and I had always been together, in other lives, somehow finding each other again in the next life.
I hoped past me didn’t have a heartbreak that hurt this bad.
Because it sucked.
I’d been ignoring all texts and phone calls because I didn’t even want to speak.
Since I’d decided to leave Becca’s, through her protests, she’d been over to check on me a couple times. I called off work, which I shouldn’t have, but I did. I told myself I’d give myself the weekend to get my shit together and then pull on my big girl panties (the ones with the tacos on them, because… #tacos) and deal with the issue head-on.
How was I going to do that? I had no idea, but I was coming to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to let a grown-ass woman, who wore her hair too tight and who held grudges on dead people, dictate my life.
I just had to figure out what to do fi
rst.
I was strong.
I was intelligent.
I was no longer a pushover. She may have gotten Breanna to bully me when I was younger, but I’d been through way too much in my life to be pushed around again. I was not that same nerdy, awkward fifteen-year-old.
Fuck Mrs. Connors.
Even her name pissed me off.
Which was good. Anger was like putting gasoline on the fire. It would fire me up to the point that I would un-ball all the paper wads that I’d thrown on the floor, trying to write out a plan for “Operation Take Back Dawson & Get. Mrs. Connors Fired”.
I lay back on my bed with a whoosh and focused on my laptop sprawled open on the other pillow.
“WWOBD?” I said aloud.
What would Oliva Benson do? I’d been watching episodes of Law and Order SVU all day, trying to figure out a way to turn into a detective to get myself out of this ridiculous mess. I just needed some time. That’s what I told Dawson, and I hoped when this was all over, he’d understand why I’d said that.
It wasn’t because I didn’t love him.
“Okay, Detective Benson, what the hell would you do if you were me?” I said, again, to no one. I drummed my fingers on my chin and ran my other hand through my ratty hair. I looked a hot mess but I didn’t have time for a shower! Who had time for a shower when they were trying to come up with a plan to fix their life?
Not me.
My eyes flashed to the screen: Oliva and Ice-T (aka Fin) were crouching over a screen, replaying some footage from a kidnapping. Then I gasped.
“CAMERAS!!!!” I hopped off my bed in a rush, getting tangled in my messy covers, landing with a thump on top of the several torn notebook papers.
The bank had cameras. Like, lots of them. Duh! And I would almost bet my left arm that they had audio. If a robber came in to pull a bank job, the police would likely want footage with audio. Bank security systems were top notch – or at least, I hoped. They should be if they aren’t.
I pulled on my jacket, adjusting my leggings so they were actually straight to my body and not twisted like I’d slept in them all night (which I had) and darted out the door, snagging nothing but my keys and my phone.
The sun was bright over my head, causing me to squint as I reached my car. Its glare on the hood damn near had me wrecking as my tires spun out from underneath my Camry.
It took less than ten minutes to get to the bank. I stole a glance at myself in the mirror, which was scary. But that was good. I’d called in sick this morning and I definitely looked the part, so kudos to me for planning ahead.
I threw my car in park, not even bothering to grab my usual parking spot and hopped out of the car, hoping with all my might that my plan would work.
I was almost positive that Mr. Daniels would believe my story, about Mrs. Connors. They all feared her and they all dreaded her. Abigail made it very clear that people scattered when Mrs. Connors would walk in the door, so if I could get him to let me have the footage to take to the dean at St. Joseph’s, then there would no mistaking her blackmail scheme.
It would be right on tape, so even if she were to tell the dean something about Mia, he would know she was lying.
I hoped.
I only made it three feet to the door when I ran right into someone. I wasn’t paying attention; I was too wrapped up in praying to God that my plan would work.
“Oh, shit. Sorry!” I mumbled, moving around the innocent bystander.
“Ivy?”
I paused, feet stilled in front of the bank doors.
“Wow, they just told me you weren’t here today and here you are… I think it’s fate.”
Eric’s black suit looked stiff and prim, just as he’d always looked before, except now, I wasn’t at all fazed by it.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, annoyed. I had shit to do.
My to-do list went like this:
Plead with my new-ish boss to give me footage (with audio).
Drive to St. Joseph’s.
Meet with the dean.
Give him the footage and explain the issue.
Confirm that he wouldn’t take Mia’s scholarship away and doom her for any other college in the state.
Dramatically exit the building and drive straight to Dawson’s and spill my heart out.
Have amazing make-up sex.
PUNCH MRS. CONNORS in the face.
Nowhere on that list was the name Eric.
Nowhere.
Eric stepped back, face forming into a frown. “Are you sick? Let’s head back to your place. We can talk there.” He walked over to me and gently grabbed my arm to usher me back to my car.
I snatched my hand out of his grasp. “Eric, I’m sorry, but I can’t talk with you right now.”
Why the hell is he even here?
“Ivy, please. I drove all this way to talk to you because you can’t seem to answer your phone.”
My heart started to beat faster in my chest, feeling as if time was slipping through my fingers. I was on a deadline to get my life back together and to fix this ordeal with Dawson, but Eric was like one of those stupid Whack-A-Mole things. He just kept fucking popping up.
I’d turn my body one way and he’d move there, too. I’d go the other way and there was his face, inches from mine.
“Eric, move. I have something to do!” My voice was frantic and it had him pulling back for a second.
“Ivy, please. I just drove four hours…”
No one asked you to come, bucko. I was about to kick him to get him to move, but then my phone started to shriek in my pocket. I let out a loud breath, feeling more anxious.
Pulling my phone out, I gave Eric an incredulous glare.
I saw Mia’s name on my screen and my heart fell. I looked at the small numbers at the top of my phone, noting that it was just after three.
She had class at this time.
I swiped my finger over, evening out my voice. “Hello?”
She screeched. “Where the hell are you!?”
My voice wavered with panic. “At the bank. Why?”
“Uh… have you talked to Dawson? I’m really, really confused right now.”
Just the sound of his name had my heart blasting up to space. “Why?”
Mia breathed loudly into the phone. I took my other hand and rubbed it anxiously over my face, glancing once at Eric, who was looking at me with apprehension. Eric and I may have broken up and ended on bad terms, but I knew he still cared about me. Obviously.
“So, I was just called into the dean’s office.”
My throat began to close as my hands started to shake.
I had to get the tape, and I had to get it now. What if it’s too late?!
Mia’s voice trembled, “Why didn’t you tell me you were paying for half of my college, Ivy?” I was about to answer, but she kept going. “The dean told me everything. About you paying for the rest of my college and how Mrs. Connors threatened you and tried to con you into breaking up with Dawson… which I don’t even understand that part but I was informed of how she was going to get my scholarship taken away, leaving you to foot the rest of the bill. What were you thinking?! Why didn’t you say something?!”
My mind was currently spiraling all over the place.
“Wait, what? How did the dean know all that?”
“DAWSON!” she yelled. “He came in and told the dean everything, and then we all had a meeting and he asked if I knew anything about the situation. Which I didn’t, so thanks for keeping me in the dark. I’m so mad at you right now… but I can’t really be since you’re so damn selfless. GAH.”
My eyes were wide and my heart was frantically trying to escape my chest to win a race I didn’t sign up for. “Where’s Dawson?” I asked, out of breath.
I ignored Eric who said, “Dawson? The old best friend, Dawson? Is that why you’ve been ignoring me? Are you with him now?”
“He’s probably headed to you. He left before me because the dean wanted to talk with me a li
ttle longer about the situation. Did you not tell Dawson, either? I’m so damn confused.”
Breath escaped my body. Dawson. I had to go get Dawson.
“I’ll explain later!” I said, hanging up the phone.
I took one more look at Eric and said, “I’m sorry. I’m in love with my old best friend!”
And then I took off running to my car like I was back on the track team, trying to win our school finals.
Dawson, I’m coming for you.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Dawson
Becca used to be the one person I hated. I mean, after she yelled at me and slapped me when Ivy left six years ago and then wouldn’t tell me where she was, I loathed her.
I held a grudge so deep that I didn’t think I’d ever fully be on “okay” terms with her, but now, I was going to get a statue made of her and put it in my front lawn. She’d called me late Wednesday night, only a few hours after I’d left Ivy standing on the porch of her house, and told me everything.
Shortly after I’d left Ivy, I’d headed straight to Breanna’s because honestly, she was the only person I knew who had that much beef with Ivy – well, other than her mother.
Breanna was stunned and completely confused when I’d stormed through her house, yelling at her. Her mouth formed an “O,” and her shoulders shot up to her ears. She put her hands out like she was caught stealing something.
Yeah, stealing Ivy!
She said she had no idea what I was talking about. She pleaded with me over and over again that even if she wasn’t Ivy’s biggest fan, she wouldn’t do something like that to hurt me.
I wanted to believe her. I felt like she was telling the truth but it was the only solution I had for Ivy’s behavior. Ivy had told me she needed time.
She didn’t need time, and neither did I.
We both knew what we felt.
Something wasn’t right.
I left Breanna’s feeling worse than I had after leaving Ivy. I hoped to find an answer, I hoped to find a reason as to what the hell was going on, but Breanna was just as shocked as I was. Before I made it to my truck, she came running down her driveway barefooted.