by Ciana Stone
With her mind on the case files she’d received, she walked home, changed into a swimsuit, threw her clothes back on to cover herself, grabbed a towel, and then headed for the lake. Since she and JJ had installed the perimeter floats to cordon off the swimming area for the kids of employees, there were typically people there every weekend.
Weekdays she could nearly always get in a swim without running into anyone. Like today. The surface of the water was like glass and there was no one in sight. Etta stripped down to her swimsuit, piled her clothes on her towel, and ran to the water, splashed in to mid-thigh depth, and then dived.
The water had heated up enough that you didn’t get a case of the shivers when you first took the plunge. Etta rose to the surface and started her laps, focusing only on her breathing and her pace.
She’d just made the turn for her fifteenth lap when JJ rose out of the water in front of her. The momentary start was replaced by a wash of pleasure as he smiled. “Nice time for a swim.
“Um hmm.” She treaded water.
“Nice and private.” He moved a bit closer and she moved back.
“Um hmm.”
“Perfect time for…this.” He disappeared under the water and a second later, she felt his hands on her waist.
JJ lifted her up and sent her sailing. Etta landed with a huge splash, sank beneath the surface, and went on the attack. JJ must have anticipated her move because he was waiting for her and they wrestled around for a few seconds, each trying to gain the upper hand.
When it became clear she wasn’t going to win that particular battle, she kicked off and swam as fast as she could for shallow water. She felt her toes touch bottom a bare moment before JJ caught up, wrapped his arms around her waist, and took her down.
Etta rolled over, slung her wet hair from her face and collapsed backward, trusting that JJ would support her. What she didn’t expect was for his lips to claim hers in a kiss that sent lust singing through her like fire on a fuse.
She thought about pushing him away. For one red-hot second, then she wound her arms around his neck and hung on. What could it hurt? No one was around. No one would see.
Etta made a slight sound and her body involuntarily bucked up against his when he peeled back the top from her right breast and thumbed her nipple. JJ abandoned her lips and fastened his mouth on her breast, tonguing her nipple. His hand slid down between her legs and worked her suit to one side.
This time it was a full-blown moan that escaped her. “JJ, we—”
“Yes we can,” he replied against her breast. “Give in to me.”
Etta was way past the point of going back. The way he was stroking between her legs and suckling had her too worked up to stop. She could only hold on, trembling with need as the feelings built and intensified.
“Come for me, baby.”
Oh fuck. That did it. Even if she’d wanted to, she couldn’t have stopped. Her body quaked as the orgasm claimed her and she bit her lip to keep from howling. JJ pulled back from her breast and his gaze locked with hers as she rode the wave.
When her body went lax, he smiled at her. “God, you’re beautiful.”
“God, you do that well,” she said in return.
“Yeah, so you want a repeat performance?”
Of course she did. She wanted to strip off his pants and ride him like he was a horse being broken. But she’d made a promise and she had to keep it. She couldn’t have sex with JJ.
“You have no idea. But as long as—”
“Yeah, I know. As long as I’m your patient. But I don’t have to be inside you to pleasure you, Etta.”
“You’ve more than made that clear.”
“So?”
“So, stop by later and we’ll discuss it.”
“Discuss?”
She smiled and gave him a kiss. “See you later.”
Etta hurried to gather up her clothes and headed back without bothering to dress. She might have just made a huge mistake and she didn’t know what to do about it. Would this derail the progress she’d made with JJ? If it did, she’d never forgive herself.
Damn. Damn. Damn. What was she going to do?
*****
JJ watched her walk away, then dived backward, letting the cool water envelope him. His conversation with Deacon came back to him. What was it he wanted from Etta? A warm body? Someone to fill his time? Or was it more?
He wanted to think it was. When he thought of her, he imagined what it would be like if they shared a home. He’d go off with his unit and when he returned, she’d be waiting for him with a smile on her face and arms that would hold him at night when the demons came.
And what about him? What did he offer?
Crap. Deacon was right. He wanted her to give and give, to heal and care and prop him up and help him get back to what he wanted. In other words, it was all about him. Crap. He might have damn near died at the hands of terrorists, but he hadn’t changed a bit. He was still as self-centered as ever. He’d not even thought what she might want, or how she felt.
He couldn’t go on this way. It was time to become a better man. One that a woman like Etta would want to share a life with, and one who had something to offer. The problem was, he didn’t have a clue how to start.
But he knew someone who did. Grady Judd. Grady was legendary. He’d had women in every port, so to speak, and had broken more hearts than a dozen men combined. But now he was happily married, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Charli.
JJ needed to talk to Grady. And he needed to do it now, before he saw Etta again. With a kick, he headed for shore.
As luck would have it, Grady was just about to leave for the day. JJ caught up with him as Grady was opening the door of his truck.
“Hey, bro.” Grady greeted him. “What’s up?”
“I need some advice. You have a few minutes?”
“Sure. You want to go inside?”
“How about we take a ride?”
“Okay, get in.”
JJ tried to come up with an opening, but the words just weren’t there, so he stared out of the window until Grady spoke up. “You seem like a man with problems.”
“You mean beyond the obvious?”
“What’s up, JJ?”
“Etta.”
“Etta?”
“I think there’s something between us.”
“Something like romantic or something like a warm body to ease you until the next one comes along?”
“That’s a shitty thing to say.”
“But true, and brother, I know that life better than anyone. The question is, have you and Etta—”
“No. She said we couldn’t have sex as long as she’s my doctor.”
“Your voice tells me there’s a ‘but’ in there so let’s have it. What did you do?”
“Made her come. Hands and mouth only.”
“Shit, JJ. You know full well that women see that every bit as intimate as full out sex.”
“Yes, I do.”
“And?”
“And I talked with Deacon about her. Did you know they go way back?”
“Yes.”
“Well, what is it about them? He won’t tell me. He just said that I should take a page from his book and let her be my friend and save me and heal me and send me on my way. But I shouldn’t fall in love with her and more importantly, I shouldn’t make her fall in love with me because I’m counting days—how long I’ve been away from my unit and how long till I get back.”
“Is that true?”
“It is. Let me ask you. When you’re faced with leaving Charli, what do you think?”
“I think how many days and hours and minutes and seconds until I see her again, feel her in my arms, and whisper ‘I love you’ in her ear. I think how much I hate being away from her and how lucky I am that she loves me. And I think how I hope this is the last time I ever have to leave her for more than a few hours, because she’s the sun and moon in my sky and nothing means a damn thing without her.”
> JJ nodded. “I wish I knew what that felt like.”
“The fact that you don’t tells you what you need to do, brother. Take Deacon’s advice. Let her do her job and don’t set her up for hurt because she cares about you. She’s had her own share of shit go down and she deserves better. So, if you can’t give more than a good time, back off and don’t touch her.”
Grady looked over at JJ. “Not ever again. You feel me?”
“I do.”
“JJ, you’re my brother in arms and you have my respect and friendship. But hear me. If you hurt her, you’ll answer to me and it’ll be ugly.”
“That’s pretty much what Deacon said. She sure inspires loyalty.”
“Yes, she does. So give it. Respect and loyalty are sure as heck due to the woman who’s helping put all the pieces back together again, Humpty.”
JJ nodded. The reference wasn’t lost on him, and he knew Grady was right. Etta—Doc Whitestone had done more for him than anyone. There was a time he didn’t believe he could ever feel as whole as he did now. But she’d helped him get there.
Yes, Grady and Deacon were right. JJ owed her his life and he’d honor that by treating her with respect. But that curious streak in him had his mouth flying into gear.
“What shit?”
“Pardon?” Grady looked at him.
“You said she’d had some shit go down in her life. What shit?”
“It’s not my story to tell.”
“And I’m guessing I can’t ask?”
“Sure you can, but there’s no guarantee she’ll answer.”
JJ nodded and turned his gaze from the window. Not so long ago, he was eager to see Etta so he could try to get in her pants. Now he dreaded it because he feared that he was about to lose the support of the one person who had steered him toward wholeness.
Chapter Ten
Etta paced the floor, checking the time every time she passed by the fireplace. There was an old-fashioned wooden clock on the mantel that ticked the seconds. It was half past eight. She’d assumed JJ would show up a bit earlier.
A tap on her door had her hurrying to open it. Deacon stood on the porch and his expression was one she recognized and hated seeing. “What’s happened?”
“Intel from Angel. ISIL.”
“Come in.” Etta stepped aside and closed the door behind Deacon. “You want to elaborate?”
“The family that turned Gabe. Intel suggests that one of the brothers has entered the country.”
Etta turned her back on him, so he couldn’t see how hard that news hit her. She took a seat on the couch before speaking. “Impossible. We killed all four brothers.”
“There were five.”
“No.”
“Yes. And he’s gunning for the people who killed his brothers.”
“Us, you mean.”
“Yes.”
“And? What does Angel say?”
“Be cautious, keep our eyes open, and he’ll pass along any further intel.”
“And what do you think?
“I think you need a gun.”
Etta stood to face him. “No.”
“Etta, should the need arise—”
“I told you then. No more guns. I can’t, Deac.”
“You can and you’re going to.” He reached behind him and pulled a handgun from his belt. “Take it.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Dammit, Etta, I didn’t ask if you wanted it, I said take it, so take the damn thing.”
“Fine!” She snatched it from his hand and at that moment, the front door opened and JJ walked in.
“Ever hear of knocking?” Deacon barked.
JJ looked from Deacon to Etta. “What’s going on?”
Etta shook her head, but Deacon spoke up. “I say we tell him. We might need him.”
“No. This isn’t—”
“This isn’t up for a vote, girl. I’ve already told Grady and Mason. But they’re not on site 24-7. JJ is, so we bring him in.”
“Into what?” JJ asked.
Deacon looked at him, then turned his attention to Etta. “I’ll let her tell you. I have some calls to make.”
“You’ll tell me if there are further developments?” Etta asked.
“You know I will.”
She nodded and watched him leave. Once he had, she put the gun on the coffee table and looked at JJ.
“What the hell’s going on, Etta?”
“Have a seat.”
“That sounds like your doctor's voice.” He took a seat in a chair adjacent to the couch.
“I guess it does.” She closed her eyes for a moment to collect her thoughts.
“Okay.” She opened her eyes. “I’m ex-military. Naval Intelligence attached to Navy Special Warfare Command. I worked with Deacon on several missions. I was also married. To Gabriel Angel.”
It was easy to see that JJ had heard of Gabe by the expression on his face. “Gabriel Angel,” she said softly. What an unlikely name. Gabe was most often described as the Ice Man—a stone cold killer.
“His SEAL commander was Deacon Johns.”
JJ leaned forward a bit in his chair. “He was the son of Rear Admiral Angel, right?”
“Yes. Gabe and two others of his team were taken in Mosul. His teammates were tortured to death. Gabe survived, but was barely alive when he escaped. I was called in once his physical injuries had been attended to.”
“Were you married to him then?”
“No, we hadn’t met until then. I worked with Gabe for three months before he spoke a word. I’ve never seen a person so—so broken. Deacon and even his own father didn’t believe I’d ever been able to get any useful intel out of him.
“But I was determined.” She stared across the room as she talked, trying to keep her emotions in check. She hadn’t talked to anyone about Gabe in a long time and even now, after him being gone for so long, the pain tore free from some hidden depth and twisted inside her like a blade.
“I wouldn’t give up. I was with him 24-7 and he became attached to me. He could barely function physically if I wasn’t with him. I knew it was a mistake. I propped him up and didn’t demand too much of him. And even more of a mistake was the way I let my emotions get the best of me. I knew I was falling for the wrong reasons, but I fell for him, anyway.
“Deacon told me I was making a huge mistake. It was bad medicine and I needed to break it off and have Gabe assigned to another doctor.”
Etta looked directly at JJ. “I knew he was right, but I was stubborn and wouldn’t agree.
“I spent thirteen months with Gabe and when I certified him fit for duty I honestly believed he was. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. We honeymooned in Greece and then he was deployed back to Mosul.
“His unit had been gone for three weeks when I received orders to report to Deacon at their post. He was concerned. Gabe was staying out all night on patrols, barely eating, and his temper was hair trigger.
“When I got there, Gabe acted like I was pissing on his parade, or invading his territory. He was surly, insulting, and when he looked at me, it was like I was seeing a stranger. Even more troubling, I saw a man hiding something.
“I reported my observations to Deacon and he ordered Gabe on the next transport back to the States.”
The strain of remembering had tears streaming down her face and her voice breaking. She didn’t want to remember and sure as hell didn’t want to tell the story. There was no way she could continue looking at JJ, watching his eyes search hers and feeling his anxiety. She could barely manage her own.
Etta jumped at the knock on the door, got up, and opened it. Deacon walked in. “Angel said you weren’t to be left alone. At all. Either you’ll stay at my place or I’ll stay here.”
“Here.” She agreed and brushed away tears. “I can’t tell him this, Deac. I—”
He pulled her into his arms. After a tight hug, he steered her to the couch, keeping his arm around her as they sat.
“What have you t
old him?”
“She got to the point where she’d reported her suspicions about Gabe to you and you ordered him on the next transport stateside.”
Deacon nodded. “What Etta—what none of us realized was that Gabe hadn’t been tortured for information. He’d been turned. Maybe he was afraid she’d find that out so he changed his attitude, put on a good show, and tried to make us all believe that he was just having a bad spell and could pull it together.
“For the next three weeks it appeared that he had. He and his team went out for five days and when they returned, he reported that they knew where a high-level ISIL operative was holed up.
“I sent his team out and he was the only one to return. But not alone…”
As Deacon talked, Etta closed her eyes and saw it unfold all over again in her mind, as vivid and clear as if it was happening now.
The command center was little more than the bottom floor of a house owned by a longtime informant. Etta was in the kitchen, starting a fresh pot of coffee and Deacon was leaning against the doorframe where he could see into the kitchen and through to the front door. She’d grown accustomed to being around men whose eyes were constantly scanning their surroundings and who always watched the exits.
In the living area of the apartment were four support personnel. Etta could hear an occasional noise from the radio, but thus far, there’d been no contact from Gabe’s team today and everyone was starting to get anxious.
“You don’t think he—cracked?” Etta couldn’t get that thought out of her mind. What if she’d made a mistake and Gabe wasn’t ready at all? What if she’d put him and his team in danger by signing his release?
“Speculation is useless. We’ll wait.”
“Until?” She turned to face him.
“Until I say otherwise.”
“Don’t you—”
At that moment, Deacon turned into the room, plastered his back against the wall beside the door, and gestured to her to be silent. It was less than a second later when she heard the first shot. Her eyes went to the opened door and then to Deacon.
He shook his head and motioned for her to move. Etta quietly moved closer to the inside wall, beside the refrigerator. Just as she reached the position, a man entered, his rifle already swinging from side to side as he scanned the room.