by Mimi Barbour
Lifting it, he gently rubbed his thumb over the one person he’d given his heart to as a young man. The blond girl wrapped in his arms had a beautiful smile on her beloved face, a smile he saw first thing in the morning and was the last thing he looked at before he turned the lights off at night.
At the time the photo had been taken, he’d counted himself as the luckiest eighteen-year-old alive. That a girl like Marilyn Krude could want him for a boyfriend, fancy him and make love with him, went beyond his wildest hopes. Never had he dreamed that someone like her could want a reserved, unpopular guy like him.
Then the last week before she’d left for good, they had finally let their love take them past barriers he’d erected. Respecting her had forced him to keep his horniness under tight control but it had been her who’d driven them past the point of no return.
She’d practically begged, and he’d succumbed. For seven incredible days, he’d been in heaven. Every chance they got, they spent together in a sexual frenzy. Today, he still relived those moments as being the happiest time in his life.
Placing the eight by ten photograph back on the table, he sat on the bedside and clasped his thighs, rubbing his hands up and down. Something felt different today. The yearning he normally experienced when looking at Marilyn had faded somewhat. It scared him and he closed his eyes and made himself remember their last night together at the school dance.
She’d stayed in his arms the whole night, wrapped tight, their bodies glued together, tears making it impossible to smile. Memories of that painful parting still tore at his heart and made him catch his breath. Rubbing his chest at the unhealed, unseen scars, he left the room, heading to the one person who’d brought the sun back into his gloomy world.
Chapter Eleven
Belle lifted the two fluffy white Persians off the bed one by one and gently nudged them from the room. Not liking this treatment, both spoiled felines tried to get back through the door and were forcible barred.
“Sorry, Snowball, ain’t gonna happen. You’ll have to sleep somewhere else tonight.” Belle firmly pushed the pet’s backside.
A disgruntled meow followed as the cat slinked toward the door of the second bedroom and disappeared.
Belle decided to take a moment and fix her hair, maybe change into a nicer sweater. After all, Jesse looked classy even dressed in tight jeans with his expensive sweatshirts and moccasin footwear. It wouldn’t hurt for her to try and look her best.
After her shower, standing in front of the mirror, Belle surveyed the damage to her body from the last few months of poor eating habits. She’d lost so much weight that her slim normal had become almost skinny. Her breasts, that had the tendency to be a bit large, were now just a handful. Her stomach lay flat and the bulge from after Layla’s birth had completely disappeared.
Dismayed, she turned away and smeared her body with lotion and put on her best pair of jeans. A cashmere sweater of soft green—a gift for her birthday from Kim—highlighted her eyes and made them look quite pretty. Scrounging some mascara from the massive pile of makeup left on a tray in Kim’s bathroom, she emphasized her lashes and stood back, pleased to see what a difference her small contribution had made.
Her dark blond hair had suffered most from her recent poor diet and the luster normally noticed was missing. So were the soft natural curls she’d always taken for granted. Good thing that today’s style was rather straight and choppy because now she fit right in.
Just as she went to leave the room, she spied a selection of various scents that Kim displayed on a mirrored tray. Her favorite, “Shalimar,” sat in front and teased her to stop and spray just a slight amount on the back of her neck under her hair.
Ever since Belle had first smelled the floral and amber-woody scent, when she could afford to treat herself, she’d buy a bottle. Months ago she’d run out and missed the extravagance.
Ready to face Jesse, Belle sauntered into the living room and came to a full stop. He’d also showered. His casual but tasteful outfit, jeans topped with a cobalt-colored shirt that turned the grey of his eyes blue, called on every feminine cell in her body to instant appreciation. His damp reddish brown hair had been cut short and the disordered style he wore suited him.
Belle had to stop gawking so she said whatever came to her. “I put the cats out of Kim’s bedroom because they insisted on sleeping close to Layla. I’m worried that their fur might make her stuffed up since she has a slight allergy to dust and pollen.”
“Not a problem. Those furry fiends are the bane of my life right now. Kim indulges those two beyond reason and they have attitudes that the world revolves around them. Puff I can get along with, but that Snowball should be turned into a rug.”
Belle giggled. “You don’t mean that, I can see you smiling.”
“Yeah! I’m a softie, but don’t let the cat out of the bag.”
Laughing together changed the atmosphere to one of relaxation for Belle and she continued into the room to flop on the white leather couch. “Do you have the information you were telling me about, from your friend’s mother?”
“It’s on the coffee table there in front of you. I’m getting a beer, can I get you anything?”
Belle thought to ask. “Does beer have gluten in it?”
“Huh. Some do, I guess. I don’t know. We’ll have to find out.”
She liked the “we” in his answer. “I’ll pass for now and fix some tea for myself later if it’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay. Make yourself at home here.”
“I promise we won’t intrude for too long. I’ll look for another place in a couple of days, once Christmas is over.”
“If you’re worried Jack will find you here, you can always stay in my apartment over my shop. There’s room to store your furniture there if you’d like until you’re settled again.”
“I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”
“Then you can just stay here until Kim returns in a few weeks.”
Belle felt like a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. “Seriously? You wouldn’t mind?”
“You’d be doing me a favor. Next week I’ll be really busy working with the architect, setting up the plans for the new house and ordering all the lumber and materials. Now that I’ve bought the property, I can’t wait to get started. I won’t have time to babysit the zoo here.” He strode out of the room, her eyes following his tall form with total pleasure. My God the man had a sexy walk!
Giving her head a shake, Belle let her mind wander. She fantasized about what it would be like to have the right to approach him. Wrap her arms around his body, slide in close and kiss him breathless.
Picturing this started the juices flowing and had her crossing her legs and hunching to loosen the pressure on her swollen breasts. Desire swept over her and for the first time in her life, she knew what the word lust really meant. My goodness!
Within seconds, she heard him heading back into the room and grabbed the stack of papers in front of her to hold them up. Surprisingly, he leaned over toward her. The breath caught in her throat and she knew her heartbeats stopped and then tripled in speed.
When he took the papers from her hand and turned them the right way up, a blush started from the tips of her toes and took only seconds to arrive at her face. How could a serious-minded young woman, a mother no less, act like such a… a teenager?
Chapter Twelve
An hour later, Jesse had not only convinced himself but had Belle persuaded that her whole health problem was the gluten in her diet.
“I’ll take you to see Valerie tomorrow, if you like,” Jesse offered. “She said to drop by anytime.”
“That would be nice. But I really must go shopping tomorrow. I gave Layla one of her Christmas presents to keep her out of the room yesterday when Jack came.” Belle felt sad when she thought of how few parcels she’d been able to afford for Layla on Christmas morning. Without meaning to, she spoke her worries out loud. “There will be so little under the tree for her
.”
Jesse voice held a gruffness that caught her attention. “Kim left gifts for both of you here. And I intended to get something for the munchkin also. In fact, I’d appreciate you helping me chose a present you think she’d like.”
“She loves baby dolls and stuffed animals as you must have noticed since she made you help her pack them all to bring over here. We certainly couldn’t leave any behind or they’d be lonesome and cwy.” Belle pronounced the word in the same way Layla had and made them both chuckle.
Since they’d sat together while reading the papers and hadn’t shifted, when she turned his way to share her joke, she found his face close to hers. Their eyes caught and their grins slowly faded.
The intense way he stared made her bones turn to mush. Belle felt herself lean closer as if drawn by the magnetism of his passionate gaze. Heat enveloped her and breathing ceased to function normally. Instead, she held her breath and prayed his lips would find hers soon.
Glory be! Jesse finally moved closer and his mouth came within inches of feeding her hunger. A light kiss—tempting, intoxicating, not nearly long enough. As if she were a specimen and he a lab-tech, he lifted his head to watch her reaction.
Enough! Belle pushed at his chest until she could see his face. “Either you kiss me or you don’t, but I’m not a plaything for you to tease.” Furious, she tried to stand, but found herself lying across his lap as his mouth ravaged hers.
Jesse’s lips, punishing at first, softened as soon as he felt her response. Hungry for affection—no starving, Belle melted against him and prayed he’d never let her go.
As his hands moved under her sweater, Belle accommodated him by twisting so there’d be more space for them to travel. When his lips journeyed to her neck, she arched her head willingly so he could reach every inch. The hardness in his lap poked at her hip and she moved suggestively, as blatant an invitation as she’d ever given in her entire sheltered life.
“Your skin is so soft,” he whispered. “I like soft skin.”
“Thank you.” Belle said, the huskiness in her voice sounding strange. “I use lotion.”
Jesse smiled at the same time as his lips found hers once again. “Good idea,” he said, seeming to enjoy her naivety.
His tongue delved into her mouth and playfully invited hers into his. She willingly followed and was soon caught up in their little game. But only until breathing became impossible.
Arching forward, her breasts swollen, crying for attention, Belle rubbed her chest against his in an agony of need.
Not too slow now, his soft, warm hands searched and found the aching mounds. Gathering one into his palm, he rubbed the tip and caressed the skin around it, squeezing and stroking. He did the same to the other until Belle felt like crawling up his body so his mouth could reach to where his hands were working.
As if she’d spoken her needs, Jesse drew her down into a prone position where they were laying side by side. Then he undid the buttons of her sweater and pushed each side open so his mouth had full range.
Oh Lordie! The man did have a way with his tongue. Belle squirmed in pure ecstasy. Moaning her pleasure, she roamed his back trying to please him as much as possible. When her fingers clawed slightly and scraped his skin, his sighs of pleasure told her she was making him very happy.
Soon she wanted to touch his chest as well and she tugged at his shirt. Taking her hint seriously, Jesse swung away and took it off. Then he undid the button at the top of his jeans and turned to help her with hers. Belle wondered if he noticed her instinctive reaction when she saw his muscular form. The man was beautiful!
Once she lay in front of him in her panties and bra, she held up her arms to welcome him back. Smiling crookedly, his eyes devouring her, he leaned in close to cradle her face. In her ear he whispered words that broke her heart.
“Mari, are you sure?”
She stiffened. Had she heard correctly? Pushing against his chest, she glared at his confusion. “I was sure. But maybe you should ask Mari how she feels?”
Scrambling out from under him, slapping at his hands trying to keep her there, she stomped from the room. Every nerve in her aroused body screamed in vexation. Blasted hell!!
Chapter Thirteen
Jesse collapsed on the couch after Belle, furious and with darn good reason, left him to stew in his own stupidity. Shamed by his ridiculous slip of the tongue, he covered his face. Damn fool! How could he have treated Belle so shabbily?
The scent of her perfume had permeated the material and he inhaled deeply. The lady had prepared for him, fixed herself up so when she’d first appeared, his eyes had almost popped out of his head. She looked gorgeous in her fuzzy green sweater and jeans that portrayed a body with long legs and a slenderness most women craved.
It was the first time that a woman had taken him to the same intensely emotional place he’d last visited with his childhood sweetheart, Mari. A place where his heart was as much involved as his head.
Scratch that! This time, his head had been buried up his ass. What an idiot!
He rolled over on his stomach, trying to calm the painful ache in his whimpering lower body. Unfulfilled, and deeply saddened, he forced his pounding heartbeats to slow and his brain to kick in.
How in the world could he make this up to Belle? Explain. Apologise. He’d be a fool, if he’d ruined his chances with this woman because of a slip of the tongue that he hadn’t been conscious of uttering.
Hell, for the first time in forever, a female had caught his interest. He cared. Couldn’t help himself. Not only was he keen on Belle, but her little Yaya had also stolen his heart. God she was a cutie! They both were.
With his befuddled state clearing slowly, he could see them building a relationship where they could work together, create a future, fall in love.
What?
Where had that come from? Other than Mari too long ago to be clear anymore, he’d stayed away from visions of forever-after. Most times he spent with woman nowadays were for one sweet evening and only one. And he made sure the woman felt the same.
When he let himself remember Mari and the days when they were a unit, he’d known absolutely that she was the only one he wanted. No one else—only her! Every moment of the day she’d lived in his head. Her wonderful sense of humor enthralling him, the way she’d giggled and grinned into his eyes as if only he could share her happiness.
That gorgeous girl had made him feel ten feet tall. She’d adored him and let the world know. For a guy who had trouble talking to others, he’d let her be his voice, his passage into the “in” crowd, his decision maker…
And his heart-breaker.
No doubt about it, she’d broken his heart and his spirit. Nothing ever looked as bright or pretty or simple to him after she’d left and taken his love with her.
Funny thing, it hadn’t bothered him before now. Living in his dreams, letting her still rule his whole world, had been okay. Sure, he’d met other women and because they weren’t her, he had no trouble walking away.
With Belle, he had the sneaky suspicion it wasn’t going to be that simple. She mattered to him. Her safety had become paramount to his own comfort.
When he’d suggested she move in with him, he’d been stunned at first. No way would he normally have offered to share his space with any other person, certainly no other female. Thankfully, his protective nature had superseded his old habits and he’d made the offer.
Once he’d heard the words, he knew it was the perfect solution and he’d mentally patted his back for coming out with the suggestion. When she’d agreed, his spirit had lightened and his relief became obvious. She mattered.
So now he had a big problem. He’d begun to make passionate love to one woman, and the name of his earlier lover had slipped out. Was it a Freudian slip? Did he really want Belle to be Mari? In his sub-conscious, had he switched their identities in order for his heart to be able to get involved?
How the hell did he know? And how could he figure out a reason s
o he could explain it to Belle?
If she left him now, it would hurt—badly. He knew it like he knew he’d screwed up big-time. So he needed to come up with the right words to explain his stupid behavior, keep her with him, and not scare her by pushing things too fast. Poor girl had enough on her plate without him adding to her burdens.
Giving up trying to make sense of his actions, he headed for his bedroom only to stop at the open door when he spied the two white monster fur balls spread over his pillows.
He growled and had to steel himself not to be angry with them. After all, they weren’t to blame that he’d just messed up the best thing that had happened to him in years.
Chapter Fourteen
Tears obliterated everything in the washroom where Belle hid. Curled up on the floor with her knees under her chin and her drenched face hiding, she let all the despair that she’d fought against wash over her.
Why did life have to be so tough? Just when she thought her world might be getting better… Wham!
Shying away from the reason for her suffering, Belle focused on the recent good stuff. Like reading those notes that Valerie sent about the Celiac symptoms and the treatment that turned out to be so simple. Everything she’d read indicated that as long as she ate the right foods, her stomach troubles would improve, and within a short period of time. All her health worries could turn out to be a thing of the past.
What a relief. She’d be here to watch her daughter grow up and get married. A nightmare she’d lived with when she thought her sickness might be cancer or some other horrible death sentence.
Then not having to deal with Jack all by herself had lightened her load immensely. Knowing Jesse was covering her back, caring about Yaya’s and her safety had made the whole ordeal not so scary or intolerable.
Knowing Jack when everyone liked him, when he’d first left to go to Iraq, helped her somewhat to forgive his recent behavior—not tolerate it but at least try to understand He needed help. No… he needed to help himself. Overwhelmed by it all, she shied away from those images.