by Lynn Ames
“I won’t leave you, Claude. I won’t.” Jessie cradled Claudia’s head against her bare chest. “But what if I can’t get over this? What if I can’t fly? What if I’m too afraid?” There, she’d given voice to her worst fears.
“You will get over this. We’ll make sure of it. We’ll go up and practice until you’re back to your normal self. You’re one of the best pilots I’ve ever seen up there, Jess. When that engine quit and there was nothing around us but air, I was relieved.”
“Relieved?”
“Yes, relieved that you were the one at the controls. I wouldn’t have trusted anybody else to get us out of that jam. Probably not even myself. I knew you would get us down safely, and you did. And you’d do it again given the same circumstances.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know it in my heart.”
“Your heart is biased.”
“Maybe. But my heart is also right. There won’t be a next time, but if there is, I want to know you’re in the cockpit flying that bird. Out of all the pilots at Sweetwater, I’d pick you every time.”
There was nothing Jessie could say to that, so instead, she lifted Claudia’s chin and kissed her. “How did I get so lucky, again?”
“Right place at the right time, I guess.”
“We really do have a little more time before daylight, right?”
“Half an hour.”
“Then why are we standing here talking?” Jessie steered Claudia back to their bed. They had time to make love one last time before the rest of the world would intrude again.
“Follow my finger,” the doctor instructed Jessie. “Okay. Eyes straight ahead. I’m going to hold up fingers in your peripheral vision. I want you to tell me how many you see.”
“Two.”
“Now?”
“Three. No. Four.”
“Which is it, three or four?”
Jessie bit her lip. Her vision remained blurry around the fringes. “Four.”
“Weren’t too sure about that, were you?”
“I’m fine, sir.”
The doctor pulled out a flashlight and shone it first in Jessie’s right eye, and then her left. “Mmm-hmm. Okay.” He clicked off the light and stepped back.
“Okay, what?”
“Okay, I don’t mind you sitting in a plane, but you are not fit to fly one just yet.”
“What?”
“If you want to get out of here and back to Sweetwater, it’ll have to be with a conditional release.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning you can be a passenger but not a pilot until you get clearance from a doctor when you get back to Texas.”
“But—”
“There are no ‘buts’ here. I’m not clearing you to fly that plane, and that’s final. I understand you have a co-pilot who is equally qualified, is she not?”
“Of course she is, but—”
“What did I just say?”
“No ‘buts,’ sir.”
“Exactly.”
The doctor wrote something on a slip of paper and handed it to his nurse. “Good luck to you, Miss Keaton.”
“Thanks,” Jessie mumbled on her way out the door.
“What did he say?” Claudia asked, when Jessie came outside.
“He said I can go home, but only if you take me.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m not cleared to pilot the plane.”
“Don’t worry, sugar.” Claudia looped her arm through Jessie’s. “I promise to take good care of you.”
“Now I’m really worried.”
“Hey!”
They took off at 0800 hours, Claudia at the controls in front, and Jessie relegated miserably to the back cockpit. When they were less than one hundred miles from Avenger Field, Claudia keyed her microphone. “Hey, you awake back there?”
“Of course I’m awake. You don’t think I’d trust you to fly this rust bucket without someone keeping an eye on you, do you?”
“Very funny. Now don’t get mad at me, but I have an idea.”
“How can I get mad at you when I don’t know yet what it is?”
“You have a point there.”
“Well, are you going to tell me sometime today?”
“Maybe if you’re nice to me.”
Jessie rolled her eyes, even though she knew Claudia couldn’t see her.
“I know the doc said you weren’t cleared to fly, but it’s just the two of us up here.”
“And?”
“And this would be a great time for you to get rid of your jitters.”
“No way.”
“Hear me out before you answer. No one’s watching except for me, so no one will ever know. You’re safe with me, and if something happens I’ll take over from you.”
“Absolutely not.”
“C’mon, Jess. This is the perfect opportunity. It’s like riding a horse—if you fall off, you have to get right back up on it again.”
“First, a plane is not a horse. Second, my vision still isn’t right.”
“All I want you to do is a slow roll with an engine stall and restart.”
Jessie’s palms started to sweat. “Is that all? Claude, do you have any idea what could happen if the brass found out that I violated a direct order?”
“How are they going to find out? I’m sure not going to tell.”
“Which is great, except if something goes wrong.”
“Nothing’s going to go wrong.”
“You don’t know that. And, even if I were willing to risk my own life, I’m not willing to risk yours.”
“I’d be as safe as a bear cub with its mama with you in control.”
“I won’t do it.”
When Claudia didn’t respond again, Jessie assumed the matter was settled. That lasted about fifteen seconds, until she felt the right wing dip and the air speed slow.
“Don’t you dare.”
“Pilot to co-pilot. Initiating roll. I’m turning over control to you.”
“No!” By now they were more than halfway into the roll. Jessie realized the engine would stall any minute. “Claudia!”
“Save us or don’t, Jess. The choice is yours.”
Jessie grabbed hold of the controls in front of her. “Of all the bone-headed, asinine things to do…” Moisture dotted her forehead. She blinked hard, but the fuzziness that had plagued her since the accident remained. The engine cut out, and tendrils of fear snaked up Jessie’s spine. For what seemed an eternity, she sat motionless.
“You can do this, sugar. I believe in you.”
Jessie wondered if Claudia really had said the words, or if she merely imagined them. “Right.” Her mind shut out all non-essential thought, and her hands moved of their own accord. Jessie completed the gradual roll, leveled the plane, and restarted the engine.
“Take it, Claude.” Jessie hated that her voice shook. She slumped back in her seat and closed her eyes. Her heart had yet to return to its normal rhythm, her shirt was damp with sweat, and her breathing was erratic.
Jessie had no idea how much time had passed when she heard Claudia tell the tower at Avenger Field that they were on approach for the landing. She opened her eyes as the wheels touched down.
They taxied to a halt, and Jessie undid her harness. She swung out of the cockpit and onto the wing, then hopped down onto the tarmac. She could see the women running toward them.
Claudia put her hands on Jessie’s shoulders and squeezed. “Aren’t you going to help me down?”
Jessie looked up at Claudia, who was standing on the wing. Automatically, she put her hands on Claudia’s waist and helped her down.
“You did it, Jess. Told you.”
Jessie clenched her fists at her side. “If you ever pull a stunt like that again, you’ll be flying alone.”
Claudia’s face registered shock. She opened her mouth to speak…
“Hey, we heard what happened. Gosh, thank goodness you’re okay. Wicked shiner, though, Claudia.”
Annabelle was at the front of the pack of WASPs who seemed to be descending upon them from all sides. “Tell us all about it.”
Jessie fought through the throng, turned on her heel and stalked away.
“What’s the matter with her?”
Jessie heard Rebecca’s question but didn’t catch the response. She could feel Claudia’s eyes on her back, but she was too angry to care.
As she had been since returning from Palm Springs, Jessie rose before the sun. She showered, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, put on her uniform, and left the barracks before any of the other girls, especially Claudia, awoke.
She walked the grounds, listened to the birds sing, and watched the sunrise from a perch atop a grassy knoll she’d discovered two days earlier. She skipped breakfast to avoid any chance of contact with Claudia, and when she lined up at muster, she stared straight ahead, studiously ignoring Claudia’s confused glances and pained expression.
Jessie missed Claudia terribly, but she was not ready to forgive her for thrusting her into a position she wasn’t prepared for and which, she admitted to herself, scared the pants off her.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
Jessie jumped at the sound of Shirley’s voice so close to her. She hadn’t even heard her approach. “I don’t have any.”
Shirley held up her hands in mock surrender. “Just trying to start a friendly conversation here. You’ve been awfully scarce. Me and the girls are worried about you. Claudia won’t even touch her food, and you know how Claudia eats.”
Jessie looked at Shirley sharply. If she was fishing for information, Jessie couldn’t discern it.
“There’s nothing to worry about.”
“You haven’t been cleared to fly, you’re up before the birds, you don’t come to meals. You’re the first into the classroom and the last one out. What about all that behavior should make us stop worrying? None of that is like you. Not one bit of it.”
Jessie kept her expression blank. “Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf.”
“And maybe pigs fly,” Shirley scoffed. “All right. Have it your way. Be all mysterious. But if you’re not going to come clean with me, at least you should talk to Claudia. She hasn’t been the same since you came back from your adventure.”
After Shirley was gone, Jessie walked quickly behind the nearest building and leaned heavily against it. Claudia was hurting. She wasn’t eating. She wasn’t herself. Jessie kicked at the dirt. She was being a heel. But Claudia had put her in an untenable position and hadn’t apologized for it in the least. In fact, she’d seemed rather proud of herself when they landed.
“Mmph.” Jessie pushed off the wall. If she didn’t hurry, she would be late for ground school. In the afternoon, while the others were off flying, the base doctor would examine her for flight-readiness. If he cleared her, she would have her sixty-hour checkout flight on the PT-17 before the end of the week.
Jessie exited the examination room and ran directly into Claudia.
“Fancy meeting you here.” Claudia’s body language indicated there was nothing fancy about it. Clearly, she’d been waiting, and, judging from the wrinkles in her uniform trousers, she’d been sitting for a while.
“How’d you know I’d be here?”
“What, no ‘hi, it’s great to see you’?”
Jessie looked around, noticed two women she didn’t recognize sitting in the waiting room, and grabbed Claudia’s arm to steer her outside.
“Don’t want to be seen with me, Jess?”
“There’s no reason to make a scene.”
“Seems that might be the only way to get your attention.”
Jessie stopped short and pivoted to face Claudia. “What do you want from me?” Even as she finished the sentence, Jessie regretted it. The hurt in Claudia’s eyes was palpable.
“Apparently, I want more than you’re willing to give. I’m sorry I bothered you. I’ll leave you alone from now on.” Claudia pulled free and broke into a run.
“Aw, hell.” Jessie took off after her. “Claude, wait. Claudia. Claude, wait!” Jessie screamed as she struggled to keep up and fought for breath. Claudia was a lot faster than Jessie would have guessed. She cursed as Claudia disappeared around a corner between two buildings.
Jessie rounded the turn and skidded to a halt. There was Claudia, bent over double, her hands covering her face, her whole body shaking.
“Darn it all, Claude,” Jessie wheezed out. She put a tentative hand on Claudia’s back and rubbed circles. “Calm down. Shh. It’s okay.”
“How can you s-say that?” Claudia asked, between sobs. When she looked up, Jessie could see the tracks where her tears continued to fall.
“Please, stop crying. It seems like I’m always making you cry. C’mon, Claude. It’s not that bad. Everything’s going to be fine.” Jessie reached into her pocket for her handkerchief and pushed it into Claudia’s hand.
Claudia straightened up and blew her nose. “No, it’s n-not.” She shuddered. “You don’t want anything to do with me. You won’t even look me in the eye. You leave before I wake up in the morning, go to sleep before I get out of the bathroom…”
Jessie was about to ask again what Claudia wanted from her but thought better of it. “I was just mad at you, that’s all. It’s not the end of the world. I’ll get over it eventually.”
“Yeah? When? After we’ve graduated and been sent to opposite ends of the country?”
“Of course not.”
“What are you so mad about?” Claudia’s eyes were red-rimmed and glassy. The sight melted Jessie’s heart.
“I didn’t like being forced to do something I wasn’t ready for. I felt like an incompetent ass, and all you could do was congratulate yourself for being clever.”
“What are you talking about? I was so proud of you I could’ve burst a button. You handled it like a pro.”
“I felt like a rookie. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing, and I came close to panicking.”
“But you didn’t. You righted the bird, leveled her out, and restarted the engine like you could do it in your sleep.”
“It was embarrassing.”
Claudia’s eyes grew wide. “You were embarrassed in front of me? Jess Keaton, you don’t ever need to be embarrassed in front of me. I love you.”
“You tried to humiliate me.”
“I did no such thing!”
“Well, it sure felt like that.”
“Good heavens. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to restore your confidence, that’s all.”
“Yeah, well that wasn’t the way to do it.”
“I can see that now, sugar.”
They were face-to-face, inches apart, both breathing heavily. In the end, Jessie couldn’t say which one of them moved first, but it didn’t matter. Once their lips met, everything else ceased to exist.
“We…” Jessie cleared her throat and looked around. There were no windows on either of the two buildings, but she was acutely aware that they were standing outside where someone could come around the corner any second. “We’d better get going.” She trailed her fingers down Claudia’s gaunt cheek. “I love you, Claude.”
“I’m sorry I put you on the spot. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You were just trying to be helpful.”
“True.”
Jessie caught the ghost of a twinkle in Claudia’s eye, and she was very glad to have put it there. “We okay?”
“You tell me, sugar.” Claudia leaned into Jessie, and Jessie felt herself grow wet with desire.
“We’re good. Maybe—” Jessie momentarily lost her train of thought when Claudia’s pelvis pushed against the zipper of her slacks. “Um. Maybe we could find someplace to go later?”
“Now you’re talking. I’ll find us a spot.” Claudia patted Jessie’s cheek and jogged away.
“Yeah,” Jessie said to Claudia’s retreating form, “you do that.”
CHAPTER SIX
“What are you two up to? Gi
ggling like schoolgirls with your heads so close together—makes me think y’all are up to no good.”
“Nothing. We were just talking.” Jessie scooted away from Claudia, aware even as she did so that she was acting like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She knew her face was flushed and she fanned herself. “Gosh, it’s hot in here, isn’t it?”
“It’s always hot in here,” Janie complained.
“Hey, Janie. We were sharing the latest juicy gossip. Didn’t want anybody walking by to hear, that’s all.” To Jessie’s eye, Claudia was relaxed and nonchalant.
“Yeah?” Janie sat down on Claudia’s other side and leaned in close. “What’d you have? I bet it’s something really good.”
“You know Iris Stavinski?” Claudia asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“The nail-biter? Always looks nervous?”
“That’s the one. Well, it seems she just got a letter from home. She opened it at lunch and ran out crying hysterically.”
“Really? What was in the letter, I wonder.”
“No need to wonder. I know what it was.”
“Spill.” Janie moved in closer still.
“You know she’s Jewish, right?”
“Yeah. So?”
“She has family in Poland. The letter said they’d been sent to a place called Auschwitz. Nobody’s saying much officially, but the scuttlebutt is that it’s some kind of death camp or something.”
“Oh, my God! That’s horrible.”
“I know. Poor girl.”
“I can’t imagine being her. What’s she going to do?”
“I don’t know. Rumor is she’s thinking about quitting and going home to be with her folks, but it’s not a sure thing yet.”
Jessie watched the exchange in amazement. She had no idea if the story Claudia was telling was true or not. When Janie walked in, Claudia had been describing exactly what she wanted to do to Jessie later that night, punctuating the description by running her fingers lightly along the inside of Jessie’s upper thigh.
“I’m going to go find Shirley. I bet she’ll know all the details right down to who licked the stamp on the envelope.” Janie took off out the door like a whirling dervish.