Eyes on the Stars

by Lynn Ames

  “It’s obvious, right Escher?”

  Jordan, who had been quietly enjoying his supper, made a non-committal sound. Jessie thought he looked like he’d rather be anywhere than caught in the crossfire at the table.

  “Y’all ought to leave the flying to us. It’s a man’s job,” Matt continued, undeterred by Jordan’s lack of support. He stretched and casually put his arm around the back of Claudia’s chair.

  It was all Jessie could do not to launch herself across the table. Although Claudia tensed minutely, Jessie couldn’t detect any other outward sign that Matt’s familiarity bothered her.

  “Without us, you’d be undermanned in battle. What we do frees up more male pilots to go overseas. Besides,” Claudia added, “I’d put Jessie here up against the best male pilot in the AAF. There isn’t anybody I’d rather fly with when the chips are down.” Claudia shot Jessie a look that Jessie was certain was meant to reassure her of her place in Claudia’s heart.

  “That so?” Matt made a show of looking Jessie over. “Well, she’s about as close to a man as you can get without actually being one.”

  Jessie’s ears flamed bright red. Claudia jumped up from her chair and threw down her napkin.

  “Matthew Dean Dunphy,” Mrs. Dunphy said. “That was very rude. I didn’t raise you to talk to a lady that way. You apologize right this minute.”

  “What? It’s true.”

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Dunphy,” Claudia broke in. “I simply can’t sit here and listen to my friend be insulted in this manner. Dinner was lovely. Thank you.” Claudia motioned to Jessie that they were leaving.

  “Please, don’t go,” Mrs. Dunphy pleaded. “Matt. Apologize… now.”

  Matt stared at Jessie with pure dislike. “Okay, already. Sorry.”

  “There. Please, Claudia, Jessie, sit. We haven’t even had dessert yet. I made a pie especially for the occasion. Let’s not let one instance of ugliness”—she shot a disapproving glance at her son—“spoil an otherwise wonderful evening.”

  Jessie felt thoroughly humiliated. She wanted nothing more than to be done with this debacle. Still, Mrs. Dunphy had gone to a lot of trouble to prepare a delicious meal, and Jessie was loathe to punish a kind old lady for her son’s boorishness.

  “I’ll only stay if it’s all right with Jessie,” Claudia said, still standing next to her chair. She looked at Jessie, waiting for her cue.

  “Pie sounds good,” Jessie said. “Let me help clear the table, ma’am.”

  “Oh, such impeccable manners,” Mrs. Dunphy said, clearly relieved.

  “I’ll help too,” Claudia added, as she picked up her plate and Matt’s, without so much as a glance in his direction. When they were through the doors into the kitchen, Claudia came up alongside Jessie. Mrs. Dunphy, standing at the sink, had her back to them. “I’m so sorry, Jess,” she whispered.

  “I don’t care what he thinks,” Jessie answered.

  “What he said hurt you. I could see it in your eyes, sugar. He was very wrong. You’re beautiful, and every inch a woman.”

  “Let’s get this over with,” Jessie said, unwilling to continue the conversation and unable to look Claudia in the eye.

  They ate hot apple pie with vanilla ice cream in awkward silence.

  “Can I get you anything else?” Mrs. Dunphy asked, when they were done.

  “No thank you, ma’am. That was yummy,” Claudia said.

  “Won’t you stay for coffee?”

  “I’m sorry, but we have to get back to the base,” Jessie said.

  “Of course you do. Boys, walk the ladies home.”

  “We’ll be fine on our own, ma’am,” Jessie said.

  “Nonsense. The boys will see you back to the base like the gentlemen they are. Right, Matthew? Jordan?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Jordan said.

  Matt didn’t answer; he simply stood up and took Claudia’s arm.

  The gesture set Jessie’s teeth on edge.

  Once they were outside, Matt said to Jordan, “She’s all yours.” His tone was derisive. “I’ll take this pretty little thing, here, and don’t bother waiting for us.”

  “We’ll all walk together, or Jessie and I will continue on our own, thank you,” Claudia said, before Jessie could say a word.

  It was crystal clear to Jessie that Matt wasn’t happy, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. They walked on in silence until the gates at Avenger Field came into sight.

  “I suppose if I want to kiss you goodnight I’ll have to kiss her too,” Matt said, sarcastically.

  Jessie, who was a few steps behind with Jordan, increased her pace. Maybe if she was standing next to Claudia, she could prevent what was surely coming next.

  “Who said anything about letting you kiss me goodnight after the way you behaved at dinner?”

  “Come on. I apologized for that.”

  “Not sincerely, you didn’t,” Claudia said.

  Before Jessie could reach them, Matt grabbed Claudia and crushed her to him. Jessie froze. It was as if everything faded away except for the sight of this arrogant son-of-a-bitch kissing her lover. Her stomach flipped and Jessie had to concentrate to keep her dinner down.

  “You okay?” Jordan asked, beside her. “You don’t look so good.”

  Jessie closed her eyes and ignored him.

  “Jess, come on, let’s go.” Jessie opened her eyes at the sound of Claudia’s voice. How much time had passed? She had no idea. Claudia pulled on her sleeve, and Jessie put one foot in front of the other.

  Jessie didn’t talk; she couldn’t. What was there to say? If what happened at dinner embarrassed her and fed her insecurities, then watching Matt manhandle Claudia made her wish the earth would swallow her whole.

  “It didn’t mean anything, sugar,” Claudia said, quietly. When Jessie didn’t say anything, Claudia went on. “I didn’t even want him to do it, I swear.”

  Jessie rubbed the center of her chest. Her heart hurt.

  “C’mon, Jess. Say something.”

  “What do you want me to say? ‘Gee, Claudia, what a swell evening?’ What, exactly, do you want from me?” Jessie hated that her voice shook and that tears were flowing down her cheeks. She couldn’t take it anymore. It was all too much. So she ran. She ran until her lungs burned and she had no air left in her. She ran until she couldn’t hear Claudia calling after her anymore.

  She bent over to catch her breath. When she straightened up, she realized she was standing in front of one of the hangars that housed the Vultee Valiants. She wandered inside and walked amongst the planes. She ran her hands along the steel and traced the contours of the fuselage. This was where she belonged. Airplanes and flying—these were things she understood.

  The fact that she had picked the Valiants on this night, well, she thought, that just figured. It was the first plane she and Claudia flew together, on that trip to Palm Springs. Jessie’s mind strayed. The first time they made love. The first time she admitted that she loved Claudia, and Claudia professed to feel the same way. The first time Jessie knew—really knew—where she belonged. Perhaps the only place she truly belonged other than in the air. And now that was being taken away from her.

  Jessie rested her forehead against the cold steel. They were less than a week away from graduation. If she fought back now and made an issue of Claudia seeing Matt, it could very well jeopardize her place in the program and ruin everything. If they could somehow get through this week, Matt would be nothing more than a distant memory, and she and Claudia would be alone together, at last, hopefully on a base far away from here.

  If only she could erase from her mind the image of Claudia’s body pressed against Matt, of him devouring her mouth, of… Jessie shut her eyes tightly and shook her head, as if doing so would clear away the memory. She grabbed handfuls of hair and pulled—hard. Self-inflicted pain surely would be better than what she’d been through tonight.

  Eventually, Jessie became aware that all had gone silent. She wasn’t wearing a watch, so she
stepped outside to see the position of the moon. “Damn.” It was late, very late. Jessie had never missed a bed check before, but she was in serious danger of missing one now. She sprinted halfway across the base to the barracks and skidded to a halt in front of the door. The bay was dark; she’d missed it.

  As quietly as she could, Jessie crept inside. She hadn’t gotten three steps before she heard a voice whisper, “Don’t worry. We all covered for you.” It was Annabelle. “So, you were with a boy, huh? I want to hear all about it.”

  “A boy?” Jessie tried to kick her brain into gear.

  “Yeah. Claudia said you were out on a date.”

  “Oh. Um, yeah.”

  “So?”

  “Not much to tell, really.”

  “You miss your first bed check ever and there’s not much to tell?”

  “Nope.” Jessie shrugged and walked toward her bed. When she got there, she could see the outline of someone in it. She paused, unsure what to do. She tapped her on the shoulder, except that it wasn’t a her—it was a mannequin. Jessie had no idea which of the girls dreamed up the idea, or where they found the mannequin, but she was grateful that the ruse worked.

  She closed herself in the bathroom, brushed her teeth and washed her face, donned her sleepwear, and turned out the light before heading to bed. She stowed the mannequin in her footlocker. As she did so, she was sure she felt Claudia watching her, but she couldn’t face her tonight. She turned and walked around the other side of her bed, the side away from Claudia, crawled under the covers, and prayed for sleep to take her.

  “Where did you go last night?” Claudia asked Jessie, as the girls lined up for drill to practice for graduation.

  “I was with you or have you already forgotten I was there.”

  “Cute. I mean when you ran away. Where were you?”

  “Why do you care?”

  “Why do I…? Great. That’s just great. I stick my neck out to keep you from getting into trouble for missing bed check and all you can do is be surly.”

  Of course it had been Claudia who came up with the mannequin. Jessie should have known. “Thanks for saving my bacon,” she mumbled.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Any further conversation they might have had was cut off when the drill instructor began shouting commands. Two hours later, all of the girls walked off the parade grounds tired and dusty.

  “Sakes alive,” Shirley said, “I can’t wait until this is over with.”

  “Me either,” Janie agreed. “Hey Jessie, have you figured out yet where you want to be stationed?”

  “I haven’t really thought too much about it,” Jessie answered.

  “How about you, Claudia?”

  “Not yet. Have you picked your spot?”

  “It’s between Camp Davis and Tyndall. Shirley and I are going to put in together. That way, we’ll both know someone when we get where we’re going.”

  “That’s an excellent idea,” Claudia said.

  “We figured you and Jessie would be doing the same thing, seeing as how you two are so close,” Shirley said. “Of course, now that you’ve both got fellas, maybe that changes things.”

  Jessie shut her eyes against a stab of pain in her chest. Did last night change anything for Claudia?

  “I’m not going anywhere unless Jessie has my back.”

  Jessie’s eyes popped back open. Relief coursed through her.

  “Figured that,” Annabelle said.

  “What about you?” Claudia asked Annabelle.

  “Rebecca and I are planning to stick together for the same reason. We all ought to be watching out for each other. Things are tough enough without having to go it on our own.”

  Jessie nodded. Getting her and Claudia stationed in the same place would be easier if other pairs of girls were trying to do the same thing.

  Claudia must have been thinking along the same lines, because she shot Jessie a sideways glance and winked as she peeled off toward one of the hangars.

  Hours passed before Jessie saw Claudia again. “How was your flight? Were you okay up there?”

  “Yeah,” Claudia smiled, “thanks for asking, and thanks for caring.”

  “Surely you don’t doubt that I care, Claude.”

  Claudia pivoted to face her so quickly Jessie took a step backward. “Ah ha! So, it’s a given that you care, but it’s not clear to you that I feel the same about you.”

  Jessie studied her boots. “That’s different.”

  “How is that different, Jess? Explain it to me. Why do you suddenly think I’ve stopped caring?”

  Jessie’s eyes welled up, and she turned her head so Claudia wouldn’t see. “It wasn’t me you were kissing last night,” she said, her voice strangled and strained.

  “Oh, sugar. I didn’t kiss Matt.” Jessie opened her mouth to point out the obvious, but Claudia put her fingers over Jessie’s lips. “He kissed me. If that’s what you want to call that…that…assault.” Claudia made a face. “I didn’t ask for that, you know. He didn’t exactly request my permission.”

  “You didn’t stop him.”

  “I pushed him away as soon as I could, but you probably didn’t see that, did you?”

  “No.”

  “Do you really think so little of me that you believe I’d welcome his attention, even while I’m in love with someone else? And that I’d invite that kiss while that someone else was watching? Doesn’t say much for me, Jess, now does it?”

  Jessie sat down heavily on a nearby bench. “I think the world of you, Claude. It’s just…I had a really, really bad night, and by that time I wasn’t feeling too good about myself. So when the kiss happened…”

  “You thought I’d be tempted, that I might enjoy it.”

  Jessie nodded.

  “Well, you thought wrong. Dead wrong. All I could think about was how much I wanted it to be you. How much I wish you and I could kiss like that in public, without worrying about anyone seeing or what anyone else thought.”

  “Really? Cross your heart?”

  “And hope to die.” Claudia crossed her heart with her hand and sat down next to Jessie. “Where did you run off to? I was so worried about you.”

  “I didn’t know where I was going. I ended up in one of the hangars with the Valiants. After a while, I realized it must be getting late, so I ran back to the barracks. Thanks for covering for me.” She bumped Claudia with her shoulder. “The mannequin was genius.”

  “You’re welcome.” Claudia wagged a finger at her. “Now don’t let that become a habit—unless I’m with you.”

  Jessie smiled for the first time in what seemed like days.

  “That’s a sight I love to see. So”—Claudia pulled a sheaf of papers out of her flight suit—“where would you like to settle together? I’ve been studying the options.” She spread the papers out between them.

  Jessie scanned the pages. “How about Las Vegas or Love Field in Dallas? Vegas is growing by leaps and bounds, and Dallas is hopping. I’m sure we can live together without creating too much of a fuss, and the flying would be challenging.”

  Claudia studied the choices. “Las Vegas could be fun. We’d be flying B-17s, B-26s, AT-10s, and AT-6s—nothing we can’t handle. They’re looking for instrument instructors and safety pilots. We’re certainly qualified for that.”

  “Mmm-hmm. Flying the Widowmaker might be a kick.”

  “Easy, champ. There’ll be no widows here. At Love we could fly fighters. Bet that appeals to you, huh, hotshot?”

  “I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity.”

  “What’s our fall back?”

  “Hmm… How about Victorville in California or Randolph in San Antonio? They’re probably not as big, but the assignments might be interesting.”

  “True. So the plan is to take our requests directly to Cochran, right?”

  “Right. You do it.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “Because, Claude, you have a way with people, and Cochran obviously likes you. A
fter all, she was willing to risk her life going up with you the other night.”

  “Oh, all right.” Claudia gathered up the papers. “I’ll put it in writing and deliver it in person.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  “Yes, I am, and don’t you forget it.”

  Jessie wished more than anything that they could go somewhere so that she could hold Claudia close, feel their bodies slide together, reconnect. It had been too long. “Claude—”

  “I know, sugar. Soon, we’ll be living alone together, and we can hold each other all night long, every night.”

  “How did you know what I was thinking?”

  Claudia’s eyes sparkled. “Like I always say. I want to play poker with you—for a lot of money.”

  “Never going to happen.” Jessie pulled Claudia to her feet.

  “That’s a crying shame, sugar. I could use the dough.”

  “Tell it to someone who has some, because that sure as shooting isn’t me.”

  “So much for marrying for money.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Graduation Day dawned sunny, hot, and windy. All the girls were chattering excitedly as they donned their uniforms and shined their boots.

  “Hey Claudia, are your folks coming today?” Janie asked.

  “Sure are, but only for the ceremony. My dad has to be back to work early tomorrow morning.”

  Jessie winced. The thought of meeting Claudia’s parents made her so nervous her palms were sweating. Claudia said it was no big deal, but Jessie was deathly afraid that Mr. and Mrs. Sherwood would take one look at her and find her wanting. She’d never met anyone who had the kind of money the Sherwoods did. She was just a hick from the sticks.

  “Is that dreamy boy you were kissing the other night coming too?” Rebecca asked.

  Claudia and Jessie both looked up sharply.

  “Don’t think we didn’t see that, little miss innocent. Oh, is he a looker.”

  “He can kiss me anytime,” Shirley said, as she danced around the bay with a pillow.

  Claudia cast a glance at Jessie. “I don’t know. He didn’t say.”