by Lynn Ames
“Claude? Did I do something wrong?” Jessie sat down on her own bed.
“Of course not. Why would you say that?”
“Well, it seems like you don’t want me anywhere near you, so…”
“I’m just not feeling well. I’m sure I’ll be better by tomorrow.”
“Is it something you ate? Or the flu?”
Claudia paused in her packing and bowed her head. Her shoulders were shaking, and Jessie could hear her sobbing.
“Claude?” She stood and started to take Claudia in her arms but stopped mid-motion when Claudia held up a hand to stop her.
“I’m fine.”
“You are a lot of things, but fine isn’t one of them.”
“It’s been a long day, and I’m sick to my stomach. I just can’t handle being touched right now, okay?”
“Sure. I was only trying to help.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Jess. I’m just a mess. You’re right—it’s probably the flu.”
Jessie lay down on her bed and put her hands under her head. “Okay. I’ll be right here if you need me.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Jessie watched Claudia pack out of the corner of her eye. After a while she said, “Matt left you out there by yourself when you weren’t feeling well? The guy really is a jerk.”
Jessie could have sworn Claudia’s hands shook, and then she ran into the bathroom. Jessie heard her throwing up again. She would have given anything to be able to hold Claudia’s hair away from her face and rub her back, but she didn’t think her efforts would be welcome.
If Claudia wasn’t feeling better by morning, the train ride was going to be hell for her. Jessie supposed they could postpone the trip a day or two if they had to, but they were due to report to the base at the Las Vegas Army Air Field at 0800 sharp on Monday morning. She wasn’t sure what the consequences would be if they were late for their assignment, but she was sure they wouldn’t be good.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jessie woke several times during the night to check on Claudia. At one point, she could’ve sworn she heard her crying.
She whispered, “Claude, are you awake?” She got no response. She asked one more time, and again was met with silence. Jessie guessed she must have imagined the sobbing, and went back to sleep.
At first light, when Jessie stirred, Claudia already was up, showered, and dressed. She sat on the edge of her bed, watching Jessie.
“Hey. How long have you been awake? It’s barely dawn.” Jessie yawned.
“Awhile.”
“I can see that much.” Jessie sat up and stretched. The other girls were still asleep, since none of them were due to leave until later in the morning. “You feeling any better?”
“Yes, thanks.”
But she didn’t look that much better. Her eyes were red and puffy and her skin was unnaturally pale.
“You sure?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Because if you’re not feeling up to it, we could probably stay a day or two longer and still make Vegas in time for—”
“No! I want to leave today.”
“Okay. That’s settled, then. Why don’t you give me a few minutes to get ready, and we can go over to the mess and get some breakfast? That is, if your stomach is up to it.”
“Fine.”
“Be out in a jiff.” Jessie gathered her toiletries and headed for the bathroom. Claudia still didn’t seem right, but at least she was upright and talking, which was an improvement.
“How about some oatmeal?” Jessie asked, as they moved through the breakfast line. “That might be easy on your stomach.”
“Okay.”
They ate mostly in silence, except when some of the other girls in their class dropped by to say farewell.
“You can stop watching me like a hawk, Jess. I’m better.”
“I just worry about you, that’s all. It’s my job, you know.”
“Is it?”
“Your mother specifically told me to watch out for you. I sure wouldn’t want to cross her.”
“You, intimidated by my mother? That’s a joke.”
“Ah ha!”
“What?”
“I got a ghost of a smile out of you. Now I feel better.”
Claudia made a face at her.
“What time do you want to leave for the train station? Annabelle said she’d take us.”
“Right after breakfast is good with me.”
“The train’s not for a couple of hours yet.”
“Can’t hurt to get there early.”
“I sure hope we don’t run into the boys.” Jessie said, as they got up to clear their plates. “I don’t suppose Matt said anything about turning up at the train station before he takes off, did he?”
Claudia’s plate clattered to the ground from her suddenly boneless fingers. She quickly bent to clean up the mess.
Jessie squatted alongside her to help. “Here, I can get that. Is it your stomach again? Are you feeling faint? Why don’t you sit down?”
“I’m fine. Just clumsy, that’s all.”
“Anyway, maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll forget what time we’re leaving.”
Claudia paused, then resumed mopping up the spill with a napkin.
Jessie spied one of their bunkmates carrying a tray with food. “There’s Shirley. Let’s ask her. She was busy pumping Jordan for information. Maybe he said something to her.” She motioned Shirley over.
“I don’t suppose you managed to wheedle out of Jordan what time Matt was taking off today?”
Shirley looked at her watch. “He should be clearing the tower right about now. Jordan was going along to watch. Why?” Shirley nudged Jessie. “Were you hoping for a last send off?”
“Just curious, that’s all.” When Shirley walked away, Jessie said, “Guess we don’t have to worry about Matt anymore.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah?” Jessie glanced at Claudia to gauge her sincerity.
“Of course. Why would you even ask that?”
“I don’t know,” Jessie shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to say goodbye.”
“No! Can we not talk about boys anymore?”
Jessie brightened. “Okay by me. Let’s go get our gear, say adios, and skedaddle.”
The girls all said tearful goodbyes, with promises to write and keep in touch, and Jessie and Claudia were on their way.
Not having slept well the previous night, Jessie tried to nap on the ride. She woke several times to see Claudia staring out the window. She hadn’t said much since they left Sweetwater, and Jessie wondered what was going through her mind.
“Are you worried about our assignment?”
“Me? No. Are you?”
“No. How’s your stomach?”
“I’m fine, like I told you the other fifty times you asked.”
Jessie frowned. It wasn’t in Claudia’s happy-go-lucky nature to snap. “Sorry if you think I’m a pain.”
“It’s not that.” Claudia rubbed her hands over her eyes. “It-it’s just been a long couple of days. Waiting for the decision on our posting, my folks…”
“You being sick. I get it, Claude. I won’t bother you anymore.” Jessie closed her eyes again.
When next she opened them, it was dark outside. Claudia was still staring out the window. Jessie could see her reflection. Her eyes were swollen, and Jessie thought she saw moisture on her cheeks. “Are you…” Jessie wanted to ask if she was all right, but she cut herself off. There was no point asking a question that seemed only to annoy her lover. Jessie felt very much at sea. She had no idea what to do or how to act.
Claudia crossed her arms over her chest and seemed to pull into herself.
Maybe when they got settled in, Claudia would come around. Jessie sure hoped so. She missed her girl.
When they arrived at the hotel, Claudia got ready for bed first. By the time Jessie took a shower and emerged from the bathroom, Claudia was sound asleep, curled up on her side c
lose to the far edge of the bed.
Jessie watched her sleep for a while. Some of her color had returned, but even in repose she seemed tense. Her eyes flickered under her lids and her forehead was creased with worry lines.
Wanting nothing more than to snuggle up behind Claudia and hold her, Jessie slipped under the covers and wrapped an arm around to pull her close.
Claudia screamed and struggled to get away. She jumped out of the bed and stood next to it, breathing hard, chest heaving, eyes wild.
Jessie was thunderstruck. She lay there looking up at Claudia, wondering what she had done wrong. “Claude?” When Claudia didn’t immediately respond, Jessie began to cry. “I-I’m sorry. I only wanted to hold you. It’s been so long.”
Claudia sat down on the side of the bed and put a tentative hand on Jessie’s shoulder. “I must have been having a nightmare. You startled me, that’s all. I’m sorry, Jess. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just jumpy.”
Jessie ran her fingers through her hair and fought to get her emotions under control. “I miss my carefree Claude. I miss my lover. My girl. I don’t know what to do to make it right, whatever it is. But I want to. I really want to. Make it right, I mean. Tell me what to do, Claude. Please, tell me and I’ll do it.”
Claudia got back under the covers. “Just hold me tonight, sugar. Can you do that?”
Jessie nodded. “Will you let me?”
“Yes. Yes, I will.”
Jessie opened her arms and Claudia lay her head on Jessie’s shoulder. A short while later, Jessie heard Claudia’s breathing even out in sleep. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of her hair, her soap, her essence. This was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life—with Claudia nestled safely in her arms.
Tomorrow, once they found a new home of their own and got settled, everything would fall into place. Jessie was sure of it.
Jessie and Claudia spent the morning wandering around town, getting acquainted with the layout and proximity to the base, shopping for necessities, and looking for a place to live.
On the fourth try, they found a small bungalow for rent on the bus route. It was little more than a shack, with two tiny bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a living room, but it would afford them privacy and easy transport to the base. Because it had two bedrooms, even the most suspicious visitor would be appeased.
By evening, they had moved their stuff in and rearranged the furniture to suit their liking.
“Not half bad,” Claudia said, wiping the sweat from her brow as she surveyed the living room. “It isn’t exactly a palace fit for a queen, but it will do.”
“As long as it has you in it, I don’t care if it’s a shanty.”
“Is that so?”
“That’s so,” Jessie said. Tentatively, she approached Claudia. They hadn’t discussed last night’s episode, and Jessie still hadn’t figured out exactly how to act. “Is it okay to hug you?”
By way of an answer, Claudia opened her arms. She sighed heavily against Jessie’s chest. “I’m sorry I’ve been so…”
“Different?” Jessie supplied.
“Prickly,” Claudia said.
“You’re forgiven,” Jessie murmured into her hair, “as long as I can have my warm, fun-loving, affectionate lover back.”
“I promise to try.”
“Let me know if I have to send out a search party to find her.”
“Will do.”
“Are you hungry?”
“No. Just tired.”
“How tired? You know, this is our last night before we have to report.”
“I know.”
“It’s been forever, Claude.” Jessie felt Claudia tense. “If you’re still not feeling well or you don’t want to…”
“It isn’t that…” Claudia became quiet, but rather than interrupt, Jessie decided to wait her out.
“I suppose we should do something to celebrate being out from under Hutchins’s thumb.”
“Don’t even mention her name.”
“Whose name?” Claudia asked, as she took Jessie by the hand and led her toward the bedroom they decided would be theirs.
In the dim light of the lone lamp, Jessie watched Claudia undress. “Can I help with that?” she asked, as Claudia struggled to reach her bra clasp.
Jessie brushed aside strands of thick, luxurious hair and kissed the side of Claudia’s neck. “I love you, Claude. So much.” Jessie undid the bra and swept it off Claudia’s shoulders. She turned Claudia to face her….and let out a strangled cry. “My God, Claude. You’ve got bruises everywhere.”
Claudia crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. “They’re from the accident.”
“Still? That was almost two weeks ago.” Jessie gently ran her fingers over black and blue splotches that dotted Claudia’s arms, shoulders, and collarbones. Claudia shuddered. “Honey, if you’re still hurting we don’t have to…”
Tears glistened on Claudia’s lashes. Jessie caught one on the tip of her finger. Claudia swallowed hard and lifted her chin higher. “I want to. I want to make love with you, sugar. Touch me.”
Jessie rained feather-light kisses on each bruise, careful not to use too much pressure. The sight of so many marks marring Claudia’s skin reminded Jessie how close she had come to losing her in the crash. “Is this okay, honey?”
“Come here and kiss me.”
The kiss was slow and careful, tender and worshipful. Only their lips and tongues touched, yet Jessie felt sparks all along the length of her body.
Claudia traced Jessie’s face, as if memorizing each pore. “I love you, sugar. Don’t ever forget that.”
“How could I, with you here to remind me constantly?” Jessie smothered Claudia’s response with another kiss, this one more insistent, more passionate. It had been almost three weeks since the last time they made love—before the accident, before Hutchins, before Matt Dunphy... She felt, rather than heard, Claudia’s gasp, and pulled back. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. M-make love to me, sugar. Please. Make sweet love to me. I want to forget everything in the world but you.”
There was something haunting in Claudia’s tone, something in her expression, that reached deep into Jessie’s soul. Jessie would think about it later, she was sure, but right now, she wanted only to make this night, this moment, the most special Claudia had ever experienced.
They made love for hours, not with abandon, but with reverence. “Welcome home, love. I promise you, no matter where we are in the world, in my arms you will always be home.”
“Oh, Jess.” Claudia buried her head in the side of Jessie’s neck and cried. Even though her voice was muffled, her words were clear. “You mean everything to me. Promise me that nothing can come between us. Promise me I’ll always be yours.”
“You’ll always be my girl, Claude. Now and forever.”
They fell asleep that way—Claudia nestled into Jessie’s side, Jessie carefully cradling her so as not to cause her pain.
When they woke at first light, Jessie was gratified to see that the shadows had receded from Claudia’s eyes, and her color had returned. It wasn’t everything, Jessie realized, as she surveyed the numerous bruises covering Claudia’s beautiful skin, but it was a good start to their new adventure.
The days at the air base literally flew by. Jessie and Claudia were in the air more often than they were on the ground, rarely seeing much of each other until dinnertime.
Jessie was tasked with teaching the inexperienced male pilots how to fly by instruments and taking them up for checkout rides to ensure proficiency on some of the more challenging aircraft.
Claudia would come home at night and tell Jessie funny stories about ferrying VIPs from base to base and occasionally about towing targets for new soldiers who were using live ammunition and whose aim was often questionable. Several times, Claudia’s plane accidentally was hit by stray fire. Although Jessie worried about her safety, Claudia always made light of the close calls.
They settled
into a comfortable routine, rising at first light, eating a quick breakfast together before heading to the air field, and riding the bus home together at night. Jessie cooked dinner, Claudia washed the dishes, then they would sit together and talk about their day. Often they would make love before falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Outside of work, neither Jessie nor Claudia socialized with anyone. They rarely went out or even to the canteen, except for the occasional milkshake or ice cream sundae.
Within a few weeks, Claudia’s bruises faded, but not her new-found reserve. When they were alone, Claudia was relaxed and carefree. When they were in public, Jessie noted that Claudia no longer went out of her way to engage others in conversation, and her natural exuberance was missing.
Since it meant fewer boys flirting with her, Jessie didn’t know whether to be grateful for Claudia’s reticence…or concerned. For the time being, she remained a little of both.
About a month into their assignment, one of the other instructors stopped Jessie as she was walking back into the ready room after a flight. “There’s someone here asking for you.”
“Is that right?”
“Says she’s a friend of yours.”
“Who is it?”
“Can’t remember her name, but she’s waiting over in the canteen for you.”
Jessie jogged off in the direction of the canteen, wondering all the while who the mystery person could be. As soon as she walked in, she smiled. There was Shirley, holding court with all the flyboys, drinking a milkshake at the counter.
“Some things never change.”
“Jessie!” Shirley stood up and gave Jessie a big hug. “I was hoping I could find you and Claudia. Gosh, it’s good to see you.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Delivering an AT-10.”
“No kidding. How’s Janie doing?”
“Haven’t you heard? She’s engaged.”
“Our Janie?”
“Yep. Gonna marry her an instructor at Christmas.”
“Wow.”
“That reminds me, she sent me with wedding invitations for you and Claudia. She wants all of us girls to be there. Speaking of which, where’s Claudia?”