Raven’s eyes kindled. His arms tightened around Janna. „It doesn’t have to end,“ he whispered. He took a harsh breath as he heard his own words. He was doing what he had promised he wouldn’t, pressing her, using her gratitude for his own ends. „You have a few more days, don’t you? If you want?“
„I want,“ Janna whispered, giving in to the need within her soul and holding on to Raven suddenly. „I want that very much.“
Both of Raven’s arms went around Janna. He straightened slowly, lifting her feet off the dock, loving the feel of her completely supported within his arms. When he finally set her down again, he was aware of Angel’s amused, approving smile.
„It’s settled,“ Raven said. „We’ll meet for dinner at Janna’s place at five. I’ll bring the food, Angel will cook and Hawk will clean up afterward.“
„That doesn’t leave anything for me to do,“ Janna pointed out.
„You,“ Raven said, touching her nose with his big finger, „are sentenced to a long, hot bath. Then you will sit in my lap and whisper to me about the lives and lusts of frumious bandersnatches.“
„I don’t think you’re old enough to hear stuff like this,“ Hawk said, covering Angel’s ears with his hands.
„Dream on,“ she retorted, covering Hawk’s ears with her own small hands and then tugging gently, bring his face down to hers. She whispered something that made his eyebrows climb and then he laughed out loud.
„You’re on,“ he said, smiling down at her with sensual promise.
Janna had just finished undergoing the first part of her „sentence“ when she heard a knock on the front door.
„Is that you, Raven?“ she called out, reaching for a towel.
„In the flesh,“ he said, walking in the front door and shutting it behind him. „How about you? What are you in?“
„The same. Period. Are you early or am I late?“ she asked, peeking around the barely opened bathroom door.
Raven smiled as he nudged the door fully open. „I’d say I was just in time.“
The breath caught in Janna’s throat when she saw Raven’s slow, sensual appraisal of her body.
„God,“ he said thickly, „you’re too beautiful to be real.“
The visible shivers that coursed over Janna’s skin were the result of more than the cooler air coming into the steamy bathroom.
„Raven,“ she said huskily, but could say no more.
„Again,“ he murmured.
„What?“
„My name.“
Raven’s voice was so deep that Janna almost couldn’t understand the words. He bent over her, tasting her flushed skin with slow, sensual movements of his tongue.
„Raven,“ Janna said. She tried to say his name again, but his mouth was teasing her breast into a hard ruby peak. The contrast of his hair against her skin was like black satin against pearl. „Raven,“ she said, trembling and threading her fingers into his hair as he knelt before her.
„Yes,“ he growled softly against the taut curve of her belly. „Like that. Say it like that. Say it as though it were the only word in the only language that mattered.“
Janna felt the firm caress of Raven’s hands as he stroked her body from her high-arched feet to her rounded hips, memorizing her. His tongue traced a hot, sensuous line from her knee to the nest of dark hair at the apex of her thighs, drawing tiny gasps and cries from her, making heat swirl through her in a glittering diamond mist.
„Raven,“ Janna said raggedly, feeling his tongue in slow, honeyed caresses that unraveled her. „Raven.“
„Yes,“ he said as triumph flared heavily through him. „Like that. Call my name while I love you. When you say it like that it makes me want – everything. With you. Here. Now. Forever.“
Janna clung to Raven and called his name in a husky, helpless litany of love while he cherished her. When she could no longer stand he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the small bedroom. Very gently he put her on the dark bedspread and then simply stood next to her, his clear black eyes watching her flushed body as though he had never seen a woman before.
„Raven?“ she asked in a trembling voice.
Without looking away from Janna, Raven began to undress. „I’m going to love you,“ he said deeply. „I’m going to love you until I’m the only thing in the world to you, until my name is the only word you can remember, until you’re crying for me with every breath you take. I’m going to watch your eyes change to silver when I slide into you and you come apart beneath me. Then I’m going to lick the tears from your face and begin all over again.“
The hot, nearly savage certainty in Raven’s eyes was reflected in his hard flesh as he knelt over her, touching her, loving her. Janna tried to speak but could not, for her body had been taken from her at his first intimate caress. She tried to speak again, but all that came out was a primitive sound of pleasure that made him smile.
And then the only sound in the room was Janna’s voice calling his name in a husky, helpless love song for the raven who did not love her in return.
Chapter 9
On the last day of August Janna awoke slowly, rubbing her cheek against the resilient wall of muscle that was Raven’s chest. He made a sound of sleepy contentment, cuddled her even closer and fell back asleep between one breath and the next. Janna nuzzled Raven’s warm skin contentedly but didn’t go back to sleep herself. She hadn’t wanted to sleep at all last night after they had come back from their trip to the Yakoon River. She hadn’t wanted to waste a single instant of what might be her last hours with Raven.
Today she was going to tell him that she loved him. Today she hoped that he would accept her love rather than tenderly denying it. Today he would either love her in return or she would have to leave – for Janna knew if she stayed any longer with Raven she wouldn’t be able to leave him. She wasn’t even sure that she could go now. She only knew that she had to try. She loved Raven far too much to burden him with a woman and an emotion that he didn’t want.
Surely he loves me, if only a little, Janna thought, pressing her cheek into Raven’s abundant warmth. No man who didn’t love just a little could be so gentle, so passionate, so pleased just to be with me.
Raven made no secret of his pleasure in Janna’s company. Even though she had pointed out that Angel and Hawk had come to the Queen Charlottes to see Raven, not a strange woman, he had ignored Janna’s protests. He was rarely beyond her reach and was never beyond the sound of her voice. She fell asleep with the taste of him on her lips and the warmth of him within her, and she awoke to the feel of his heartbeat beneath her cheek and the heat of his body pressed full-length against hers.
She had sat in Raven’s lap and whispered frumious nonsense in his ear and had heard his deep laughter mingling with her own. She had gone to the legendary Tlell River and seen fishermen pull shining salmon from whiskey-colored water that was as clear and wild as a hawk’s eyes. She had seen gusts of wind swirl over river and sea, brushing the water’s surface with quicksilver designs. She had heard gulls wheel and keen on the leading edge of a storm, birds crying their need to the careless sky. She had stood on the banks of the Yakoon River and seen a spruce tree burning like a golden flame against the primeval green of the forest. There was no other tree of its kind on earth. Not one. Unique, alone, living in an untamed Eden. Janna had wept to see Raven and the golden spruce together, their power and their isolation complete.
And always, always, whether on the sea or in the forest, Janna had sensed in the primal silence the returning echoes of a raven’s lonely cry.
She knew only one way to reach into that isolation, to answer that searching cry. Yet each time she had tried to tell Raven of her love he had taken the words from her lips, the breath from her body and he had substituted his own sensual words, his own breath in her body until he became part of her once more and she could say only his name, feel only his power within her, know only him and the elemental ecstasy he brought to her.
The thought that she mig
ht never again know that shimmering flight in Raven’s arms made Janna close her eyes in silent pain. With a deep, slow breath she fought back the sadness, for she had promised herself that this day would be as perfect as she could make it. There would be no tears, no wounded dreams crying to be made whole. There would be only laughter and companionship and the haunting, bittersweet beauty of one final day in Eden.
And at the end of that day she would tell Raven that she loved him. At the end of that day she would know whether he loved her in return.
Janna kissed the muscular warmth of Raven’s chest, nuzzling the vaguely curly wedge of hair that tickled her nose. She discovered the dark disk of his nipple just within reach of her tongue. She circled the sensitive flesh, enjoying the taste and texture of Raven. It was delicious to have him all to herself, to slowly awaken him as he had always awakened her – deep within the hot, silken web of his sensuality, fully aroused by erotic sensations that were both dreamlike and very real, flying even higher as he merged with her and brought her the ecstasy that came only on the glittering black wings of a wild raven.
Now it was Janna’s turn to savor the sleeping power of the man she loved. She might never have another chance to awaken Raven with slow, hot caresses. She might never again know the pleasure of bringing him from sleep into ecstasy.
Janna eased aside the bedcovers and looked at Raven’s naked, beautifully masculine body. She knelt over him as her fingertips smoothed each ridge and swell of muscle, her touch soothing, encouraging him to remain within his dreams. He shifted beneath her caresses, responding even in his sleep, moving closer to the warm hands stroking him. Smiling, wondering what his dreams were like at the moment, Janna tasted Raven’s skin with slow, catlike touches of her tongue while her palms savored the heat and muscular lines of his torso. As she nibbled and softly nipped her way from his chin to his hips, she sensed him awakening. The tip of her tongue circled his navel and then filled it with hot, delicate caresses.
Beneath Janna’s hands Raven’s thighs were hard, corded with muscle, powerful even when relaxed. The dense thatch of hair that lay between was an irresistible lure to her. She eased her fingers into it, seeking and finding all the changing textures of his masculinity. The differences between his body and her own fascinated her. She cherished those differences with her fingertips, her palms, her hands holding and caressing him as he changed to meet her touch. His potency compelled her in an elemental way. She wanted to know him with the same searing, wild intimacy with which he had known her.
„You’re fishing in rocky waters again,“ Raven rumbled, his tone both amused and thick with arousal.
„Yes,“ Janna said, cradling his very different flesh in her hands, „I know. This time, I know.“
Raven smiled as he remembered the first time they had awakened in bed together, when Janna hadn’t recognized the distinctive male flesh rising hard and hot beneath her hand.
„I want to… touch you,“ she said softly, caressing him. „Do you mind?“
„Do I look like I mind?“ he asked, his voice gritty.
Janna looked from the heavy-lidded sensuality of Raven’s eyes to the hard flesh that she was caressing. „No,“ she agreed huskily, „You don’t look like you mind. But there are other ways of touching, ways that appalled me before I knew you.“ She smiled slightly, thinking of that shelf of books she had thrown away after her divorce. „There are whole chapters I want to explore. With you, Raven. Only with you. Would you mind that?“
She felt the sudden, savage tightening of his body as he understood what she was asking.
„Whatever you want, small warrior,“ Raven said, his voice dark, caressing, thick with anticipation. „However you want it.“
„‘For as long as you can take it,’“ Janna added, smiling, remembering what Raven had once said to her. „I’m glad you’re an unusually strong man,“ she whispered, bending down to him. „Very glad.“
The long, wide beach uncurled in front of Raven and Janna like an immense ribbon. The wind that had swept away clouds and mist alike had also stirred the ocean into a dark blue mass where whitecaps flashed and vanished only to reform again atop other metallic blue swells. Lines of breakers rolled toward the beach in creamy ranks, adding a rhythmic thunder to the deep baying of the wind. Neither picnic tables nor trash cans marred the sand’s pristine surface. There were no footprints, no people, nothing but the wind and the sea and the distant keening of gulls.
„I feel as though I’m trespassing,“ Janna said, looking behind at the tracks they were leaving in the sand.
„The tide will wash it clean again,“ Raven said. „It will be as though we were never here.“ He looked at the position of the sun in the sky. „We have some time before Angel and Hawk are meeting us. Want to explore?“
Raven caught the sensual, almost secret smile that came to Janna’s lips and didn’t know whether to laugh or swear at the sudden hot rush of his blood.
„I was referring to exploring the beach,“ Raven continued, „but I’m open to suggestion.“ Knowing he shouldn’t, unable to stop himself, he bent and kissed Janna slowly, savoring the taste and textures of her mouth. „In fact,“ he said, unzipping her wind shell and sliding his hand up beneath her sweater, „I’ve got a few suggestions of my own.“
Janna threaded her fingers deeply into Raven’s hair. „You know,“ she said, biting his lower lip with sensual precision, „I ought to call your bluff. Because after this morning, bluff is all it could be!“
„Wanna bet?“ he asked, smiling darkly.
Raven knew he should release Janna from the net of his sensuality. That was why he had come to the beach of illusions – to let her go. Yet his free hand was even now caressing her buttocks, kneading the firm flesh as he pressed her body tightly against him.
Janna’s breath came in swiftly. Raven was as hard and ready as though they hadn’t just spent the morning hours exploring his strength and endurance.
„Yeah,“ Raven said, smiling oddly when he saw Janna’s expression change. He moved his hand up to caress a velvety nipple that hardened beneath his fingers. „It’s the damnedest thing,“ he admitted „I never had this problem until I met you.“
„Neither did I,“ Janna said, feeling sensual heat rush through her as she arched her body against him in a long, intimate caress.
„So which one of us is going to be sensible about it?“ he asked.
„How do you define sensible?“
„Not making love on a public beach,“ Raven said succinctly.
„Oh.“ Janna sighed. „Damn.“
„Yeah. Damn.“ With a reluctance that almost undid his good intentions, Raven slid his hand out from beneath Janna’s sweater – but not before he saw the ruby nipple rising between his fingers. „Why am I always covering you up when all I want to do is run my tongue over you?“ he groaned, easing the sweater back into place on her body.
Janna laughed softly. „Covering me up? Since when?“
„Since the first time I saw that ripe berry peeking out from beneath a corner of the survival blanket, that’s when,“ he retorted. „All I wanted to do was take you into my mouth and feel you change as my tongue loved you.“
Suddenly Janna remembered the moment when Raven had tucked the blanket around her shoulders and she had been devastated, thinking that he was utterly indifferent to her as a woman.
„You wanted me then?“ she whispered, hardly able to believe it.
„I wanted you the instant I saw you fighting the storm,“ he said flatly.
„You should have taken me, Raven. I was yours the first time I heard your voice calling to me over the waves, telling me that I wasn’t alone. I was yours before I even knew who you were,“ she whispered. „I still am yours. I always will be. I love – “
Janna felt the heat and sweetness of Raven’s mouth as he kissed her, stilling the torrent of whispered words. It was a long time before he released her, laced his fingers through hers and led her farther down the untouched sands. F
or an instant Janna closed her eyes, walking blindly, trying to ease the pain of not being allowed to speak her love. The wind combed through her hair, freeing it from restraints, making it a soft cinnamon radiance around her face.
The doubts that faded each time Raven made love to Janna came back to her now with redoubled force. He was an honest man, a compassionate man, a kind man. If he didn’t love her, he would try very hard not to hurt her. And one of his kindnesses would be to make certain that she wasn’t left to hear her soft declarations of love echo unanswered. That was why he always kissed her words away, sparing her all that he could. He had proven to her that she was an endless fire in his body, but somehow she had left his soul untouched. Passion, not love.
Why can’t one person love enough for two?
No answer came to Janna’s silent cry, nothing but the wind keening over the unmarked sands.
Raven tried to look at the empty land and the wind-tossed sea but could not glance away from Janna for more than a few moments at a time. He sensed the sadness in her, a darkness that only made her smile more luminous, more achingly beautiful each time she turned toward him. It was her courage that had drawn him to Janna, even before he had seen her beauty and sensuality. He sensed that courage now, a determination to smile that was as great as her sadness. He ached to hold her but knew that in the end it would only make things worse for her, not better. Today he had to open his hands and return his gift from the gods.
„You’re walking like a man with a destination,“ Janna said, holding her voice so tightly that her throat ached.
„Am I?“
„Yes. All broad shoulders and long-striding purpose.“
Raven smiled at the image. „I just wanted to get up the beach before the illusions fade.“
Janna gave him a sideways, here-we-go-again kind of look.
„A little farther, where the beach curves away to the north,“ he explained. „That’s where they dance, but only on clear days.“
There was a three-beat pause before Janna said triumphantly, „Bandersnatches, right? And it’s ‘wanes’ not ‘days.’“
Love Song For A Raven Page 14