by Amber Garza
When I started driving toward the movie theatre, Austin spoke. “Not the movies.”
I eased off the gas a bit, my neck craning in his direction. “Where to then?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Just not the movies.”
“Oookay.” Blowing out a breath, I mulled over where to go as I continued forward. The street to my left was the one I would’ve turned on to go to the theatre, so I passed that. My mind whirred with possibilities – the diner, the ice cream place, the beach - but I worried he’d reject them all. I’d never seen Austin behave this way. Not only was he angry, but underneath it he seemed sad, depressed even. I’d often witnessed him upset with his parents, but the same teasing, nonchalant Austin remained in the midst of it. Not so this time, and that concerned me.
“Back home I have a really good friend. His name is Daniel,” Austin said, staring out the passenger window. I held my breath, waiting for the rest. Perhaps if I knew the whole story I could gauge where to take him. For the time being, I just kept driving aimlessly. “We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. In some ways he’s more like my brother than a friend. His dad and I have always been really close too. He was even our coach for a few years when we were younger.”
“At basketball?”
He nodded, swallowing hard. Then he turned back toward the window as if hiding his face. “He died last night. I found out today.”
Dread sank into my gut. “Daniel?”
“No. His dad.”
“Oh.” I felt sick.
“His memorial service is this weekend, and my parents won’t let me fly back for it.”
“Why not?”
“They don’t trust me to go alone, and they don’t wanna go back for the weekend.” He shook his head in disgust. “They said this is the reason they come here for the summer, so they don’t have to deal with stuff back home.” Anger radiated from him like the sun on a warm day. “It’s just like my parents to trivialize something this huge.”
I had no idea what to say. Nothing seemed adequate. “I’m sorry” was what wanted to come out, but it didn’t seem like enough. What could I have said to make him feel better about missing this memorial service? Anger surfaced. I couldn’t believe his parents wouldn’t grant him this one thing. This one opportunity to grieve a man that meant so much to him. Memorial services gave people closure. I remembered how healing it was when I went to my grandma’s. The simple act of sharing stories about her with others was so comforting.
My head snapped up as it hit me. I knew exactly where to take Austin.
Turning the car, I said, “Tell me about him.”
“What?” His head swung in my direction, sadness swimming in his eyes.
“Tell me about Daniel’s dad. I wanna hear about him.”
Gratitude splashed over his features. Reaching up, he ran a hand over his hair. “He was always making jokes. Sometimes Daniel hated it, but I loved it. My dad is so serious all the time, but Mr. Morgan wasn’t like that at all. He was sarcastic and witty. And he had the best laugh of anyone around.” His voice softened, his head lowering. “Even after he got sick, he was still so funny. He still joked around all the time. In fact, sometimes I forgot he was sick because he didn’t act like he was. He was still the same old Mr. Morgan.”
“He sounds like an amazing man.” The road wound to the right, and I followed it, my headlights shining in the path ahead.
“He was.” Austin nodded. “And he was the first person to believe in my basketball ability.”
My chest tightened as I drove on.
“He was the reason I kept playing.”
I eased on the brakes as we made our way to the top of the hill. Veering over into the gravel, I stopped the car. To my right I could see the entire city below us. I was surprised that we were the only ones up here. It was almost like luck was on our side. Since the air conditioning was no longer spilling out of the vents, I rolled down my window. The air was warm outside, but there was enough of a breeze to cool us off as it blew through the interior of the car. Still I knew it would be way more comfortable outside.
“Wanna get out?” I asked him.
His eyes widened as if he just noticed where we were. An easy smile slipped onto his face. “You mean you didn’t bring me up here to do a little kissin’?”
An involuntary chuckle shot from my throat. Clamping my mouth closed, I shoved it down. “The locals call it Serenity Point.” Biting my lip, I shrugged, hoping I didn’t sound like an idiot. “I thought…maybe…” the words died on my lips. It was too late. I was sure I sounded stupid. What girl brought a guy up here to help him find peace?
“Relax.” Austin reached over, his hand covering mine. “It’s perfect.”
Relieved, I nodded.
“Do you believe in heaven, summer girl?”
It was a question I’d thought a lot about in the weeks following my grandma’s death. At the memorial service, the pastor referenced it as if he was certain she was there. I remembered staring up in the sky, half expecting to see her face peeking out from behind the clouds. She used to go to church every Sunday, and she kept a Bible on her coffee table. It was tattered and highlighted, as if it got a lot of use. Sometimes I even saw her reading it. But did that mean she was in heaven? Did it mean there was one?
Grace believed in God, so ultimately I brought my musings to her. And after many conversations, I knew I had my answer.
“Yes,” I told him. “I do.”
“Me too.” He lowered his fingers, wrapping them around my hand. “And I know Mr. Morgan’s there.”
Without meaning to, my gaze lifted to the sky, taking in the smattering of stars, the bright crescent moon. We sat in silence for several minutes. Our hands were linked between us as we gazed into nothingness. In the distance, I heard the rumble of tires, the faint sound of music playing lightly, the rustle of the breeze through the trees. Austin still hadn’t made a move to get out of the car, so I didn’t either. It was hot in here, but that was okay. If this was what he needed, then I’d give it to him. His breathing was ragged beside me. A couple of times I glanced over to see his lips trembling slightly. Hoping to encourage him, I squeezed his fingers. He squeezed mine back before unhooking our hands. Then he swiped at his face with his fingertips, staring out the passenger window.
“You know.” He turned to me, breaking into the silence. His eyes were a little red, but other than that all traces of the sad boy from a moment ago were gone. “Serenity is nice and everything, but making out is pretty nice too.” Lips curving upward, he winked.
Giggling, I scooted closer to him. “Really?”
“Yeah.” He tucked a finger under my chin. “Really.”
“Well, if that will help,” I hedged.
“Oh, it will definitely help,” he responded, his hand sliding up my cheek. “Comfort me.” Warm breath whispered against my skin.
I shuddered. It was such an Austin thing to say, but a part of me felt that it wasn’t all a joke. Maybe a kiss would comfort him. Perhaps he needed to feel loved right now, to feel affection and physical intimacy. I didn’t think the Parsons were a very affectionate family.
Austin had lost someone he loved, and I would comfort him in whatever way he needed.
Leaning forward, I feathered my lips against his. Softly. Gently. Our lips barely touched. Still, it caused a quiver deep in my belly. I brought my hand up to skim his jawline, to trail over the stubble on his chin. His lips parted, warmth caressing my flesh. Then his lips crushed mine once again, this time more passionately than before. One hand played in my hair, while the other one hooked onto my side, holding me in place. I ran my free hand up his chest, feeling his muscles flex beneath my palm as his mouth moved greedily over mine. Our lips fused, our tongues melding. It wasn’t playful like our last kiss had been. This one felt real.
Serious.
Desperate.
But that was okay. Sometimes life called for more than fun and games. Sometimes it got real. Som
etimes it was messy and painful.
Even with a guy like Austin. A guy who acted like he hadn’t a care in the world. A guy who spent more time joking than being candid. I thought that was what I liked about him. I thought his teasing bonded us, but I was wrong.
This moment bonded us. This moment when his need trumped everything else, when he’d opened up his heart and poured it out to me. It was the most vulnerable I’d ever seen him, and it did something to me. It stirred something deep inside.
That was the night I gave him my heart. I can’t say it was the night I started to fall in love with him, because I think that had happened long before. Maybe even in our first few weeks together. However, I’d remained guarded, cautious.
But that night up at Serenity Point I allowed myself to fall completely in love with him.
NINETEEN
“Austin!” A girl’s voice rang out, startling me. I could tell it startled Austin too the way he flinched, his hand involuntarily squeezing mine.
We were walking back to my house after eating at our favorite burger joint in town. Dad needed the car today, but that was all right. After the huge burger I’d eaten, I knew I needed the exercise. When Austin whirled around, he took me with him since our hands were linked.
My stomach dropped when I spotted the girl he’d been playing volleyball with at the beginning of the summer. As she sashayed in our direction wearing a seductive grin, I felt a little self-conscious. Swallowing hard, I adjusted my top over my full belly.
“Hey, Krista,” Austin responded with a relaxed grin. It wasn’t flirty necessarily, but it still made me uncomfortable. In the time Austin and I had spent together, I’d never had to share him with another girl. In some ways it made our relationship perfect. No room for jealousy.
Her gaze flickered in my direction. “Hey. I’m Krista.”
“This is Mina,” Austin introduced me.
She offered a half-hearted smile. “I’ve never seen you around here before.”
“Mina’s a summer kid too.”
“Ah.” She glanced down at our conjoined hands with a look of confusion.
“We met last summer,” I answered her internal question.
“Cool.” She tossed a long strand of hair over her shoulder. “Hey, you two should come to the bonfire I’m having tonight. A bunch of teenagers will be there.”
“I don’t know,” Austin said slowly, eyeing me as if gauging whether or not I’d be open to it.
It didn’t appeal to me, but the last thing I wanted was to be a stick-in-the-mud. If Austin wanted to go to the bonfire, he shouldn’t miss out on it because of me. “Actually, that sounds like fun,” I lied.
“Great.” She flashed a smile. Only it was to Austin and not me. “It’s happening after dark on the beach in front of my house.” With one last grin, she sidestepped us and ambled down the street, leaving a trail of perfume in her wake.
I raised a brow. “You know where she lives?”
He shrugged. “Like I said, she’s friends with my sister.”
Fighting against my misgivings, I forced a smile and a nod.
***
I half expected Dad to say no to the bonfire, but he didn’t. In fact, he sounded delighted with the idea. It was only puzzling until I called Grace to consult her on what to wear. She helped me pick out a pair of cutoff shorts and a pink tank top. Afterward, I mentioned how surprised I was that Dad had given me consent to go. But then she pointed out that he was probably hoping I’d make some new friends, particularly female ones. And that’s when it all made sense. Dad liked Austin, but he didn’t love the fact that I spent all my time in the summer with a guy.
The bonfire was in full swing when we arrived. Teenagers peppered the beach, all laughing and talking while a large fire raged in the middle of them. Even if Austin hadn’t known where Krista lived, we would’ve only needed to follow the flames and plumes of smoke that circled in the sky.
As Austin and I walked down toward the fire, I was grateful for Grace’s fashion suggestion. Most of the other girls were in shorts and tanks too, so I fit right in. Had I gone with my original idea of a sundress and strappy sandals, I would’ve looked like I was trying too hard.
“You made it.” Krista rushed over to us, breathless, her face shiny. In her hand she held a can of beer. My insides churned. I’d never drank before, and I certainly didn’t want to start now.
“Yep,” Austin responded, his gaze sliding over Krista’s shoulder as if he was looking for someone else. And that peeked my curiosity. Up until now I’d always assumed Austin didn’t know the local teens.
“Thanks for inviting us,” I added, because it was the polite thing to do.
“Sure.” She spread her arms out. “There are coolers with drinks over there. Enjoy.” Someone called out her name, and she walked away from us without a backward glance.
When I saw her leap into some other guy’s arms, it made me feel kind of silly for my earlier jealousy. She clearly wasn’t interested in Austin that way. It was hard to imagine anyone not being attracted to him. But she was friends with his older sister, so I should’ve figured she wasn’t.
A group of guys neared us, and Austin’s hand landed on my back in a possessive way. When I peered up at him, his jaw was set, the vein in his head throbbing. His entire body went rigid the closer the guys got. Instinctually, I stepped into him, pressing my side to his. This seemed to comfort him a bit, and his hand curved further around me until his fingers lighted on my waist. One of the guys glanced at us, throwing Austin a wink.
But Austin didn’t look amused. In fact, he glared harder than I’d ever seen him do before. It caused dread to sink into my gut. Once the group had passed us, Austin visibly relaxed. The glare disappeared, his easy smile returning. It all happened so quickly, it made me wonder if my eyes were playing tricks on me. Perhaps I’d imagined the entire thing. I was pretty jumpy tonight.
Guiding me away from the guys and toward the bonfire, Austin said, “Name your poison, summer girl.”
“My poison?” I pursed my lips. Heat from the fire reached out and kissed my skin.
He faced me. “Yeah. Like what kind of drink do you want?”
Uncomfortable, my shoulders rose and fell quickly.
“What do you normally drink at parties?” He tried another tactic.
Biting my lip, my gaze darted to the sand. My toes were newly painted, and they shone brightly next to the fire. “I um….I’ve never really been to a party.”
“I see.”
Feeling stupid, I kept staring at the sand, unable to look at Austin. “And I’ve never drank either.”
I was startled when his arms shot out and he hooked two fingers into the belt loops of my jean shorts. Gently, he tugged me forward. “You really are little Miss Innocent, aren’t you?”
My whole body went hot. Hotter than the fire. “I guess so,” I admitted, wanting to cry.
“Hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” He drew me to him, and I splayed my palms against his chest.
“It’s not?”
He shook his head. “I could use a little more innocence in my life.”
His statement turned my stomach. “What do you mean?”
“Only that you’re a breath of fresh air, summer girl.”
I knew there was more to it than that, but before I could ask him, his arms came up as if to shield me, and his eyes darkened. To my right I saw that same guy again.
“What’s the story with that guy?”
Looking disgusted, he shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Seems like something.”
“You wanna get outta here? We could go back to my place. My parents are gone for the night.”
I sucked in a breath, and my eyes widened. First a party, and now hanging out alone with a boy at his house? It seemed I was breaking all the rules tonight.
A chuckle rose from his throat. “That clearly came out wrong. I’m not asking what you think I am.”
Man, by the end of th
e night he was going to think I was the biggest prude.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “I didn’t mean to act so weird.”
“I would never ask you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with, Mina. I need you to trust me on that.”
“I do.” I nodded emphatically.
“Good.” He smiled. “And we can stay here if you want.”
“No,” I said. “I only agreed to come because I thought you wanted to.”
He laughed. “We’re doing it again.”
“Doing what again?”
“Making assumptions,” he answered.
Whooping and hollering sounded from across the fire. A guy was chugging beer, and his friends were egging him on. On the ground next to him, a girl and a guy were going at it. He even had his hand up her shirt. It sickened me, and I averted my gaze.
Austin’s hand folded around mine, and he yanked me away from the spectacle. “I never wanted to come tonight. I only came because you said yes to the invite. And there’s no way I’d let you come here alone.”
I had to work hard to keep up with Austin, and that was saying something. Normally I was the fast one, but I’d never seen Austin so determined to move quickly. He guided me up the beach, and then he hurried along the walkway. I was too breathless to speak as we practically ran to his house. It wasn’t until we were inside and I gulped in copious amounts of air that I could finally think straight.
My gaze swept the silent house. “Are you sure this is okay?” I asked, a chill running through me. His house always made me uncomfortable. Usually it was because his parents were here with their disapproving looks and condescending remarks. But even without them here, I felt out of place. Leaning against the back of the couch, I hugged myself.