Tommy’s Baby

  Our next stop was West Garfield Park, where we stopped at a dismal building and, upon getting the apartment number texted to us by one of Eli’s assistants back in Seattle, we moved in. Eli agreed to take one for the team and stay outside to talk to the police when they arrived. I wasn’t waiting another second. Taking the stairs and slipping in as quietly as two huge military men could, we slid along the hall. The cheap wooden door had a row of deadbolts and chains on the outside, like the occupants were locked in. I didn’t knock. I just kicked in the door, feeling satisfaction as the wood splintered and gave way. I pushed my way through the rubble. There were feminine shrieks at our entrance, a cluster of women seemingly dressed alike and running around behind a couch as if to hide from us. It took two seconds to see that Liza wasn’t with them.

  “Where is she?” I barked, my voice echoing in the small apartment.

  “Bathroom,” one woman pointed the way.

  I went past them and beat on the door, “Liz? Baby, it’s Tommy. Are you in there?”

  I heard the knob rattle and saw her open it slowly. She was pale, her eyes red and puffy, and she was visibly shaking. I shoved the door open wider and caught her in my arms. “I’m here, baby. I’ve got you,” I murmured into her wet hair. She clung to me, not crying or screaming. All silent shock.

  “I’ve got you, baby. I’m here. I’ve got you. It’s all over,” I whispered into her hair. Her hair smelled like cheap flowery shampoo, but under that she smelled of fear, the terror sweats you break into when you fear for your life. I’d done that often enough in the service, and had to learn to try and control it, because the scent is distinctive, and attracts predators. Animal and human alike.

  I cradled her against me, not holding her as tightly as I wanted to, not wanting to scare her. But I still had a hold of her like I’d never let go. I took her further down the hall, away from the noise. I heard the police storm in, knew they were saving the other women and questioning people. This would take hours, and I wasn’t prepared to make her wait around for that.

  Her teeth were chattering, and her whole body shook all over. She was so thin, too thin. I tried not to fixate on her ordeal even though I wanted to question her about what had been done to her. There were two objectives at this point: stay by her side and get her to a hospital.

  So I left Connor to it. When we left the apartment, her hands wrapped around my arm, her eyes on my face, I waved away questions about where we were going and how they needed her statement.

  “We’re going to the ER. You can follow us if you want to, or you can wait till she’s released and has had a good night’s sleep. But we’re not staying in this place another second,” I said. It was all I could do to get the words out when all I wanted to do was flip them off and walk out with her.

  Right at the door, she froze, like she was afraid. She kept looking over her shoulder like someone was going to come at her and stop her, like she could be dragged back in and punished. Her wide, frightened eyes had smudges beneath them, and her chapped lips parted as if she were trying to speak.

  “Is it real?” she rasped as if her voice didn’t work.

  “It’s real. I’m right here,” I reassured her. She looked over her shoulder again, beyond me and into the living room where the identically dressed women were lined up on a cheap leather couch answering questions. Suspicious and afraid, she couldn’t take her eyes off them. When I tugged her toward the door, her eyes flashed to my face, pleading. I felt her knees start to buckle.

  Without hesitation, I bent and scooped her up in my arms. Lifting her, I carried her out into the hall. She buried her face in my neck and clung to me. I carried her down the stairs, whispering to her all that time that I had her, that she was safe, that she was never going back there.

  Chapter 28

  Liza

  It was freezing cold in the ER. You’d think a place that existed to make sick and injured people feel better wouldn’t feel like a damn glacier, but you’d be wrong. I was practically climbing the walls. The weeks of numbing sameness and fear, the sudden removal and being taken to the—what had Lucci called it? The stable. All of it was too jarring, too miserable to contemplate. Now that I was in a clean, bright location where people would make sure I got the best care and Tommy was right by my side, now I was freaking out. I plucked at the blanket across my lap, tried not to pick at my IV site where they were pumping me full of fluids.

  “Do you need anything?” Tommy asked me again. I shook my head.

  “I kind of want hot chocolate, but not enough to let you leave to get it,” I said.

  “I’ll get you Starbuck’s after they let us out of here,” he promised. “Extra whipped cream.”

  I tried to smile at him, “I cannot believe you tried to make them do a CT scan on me,” I said.

  “Why not? If they cracked you in the head, we need to know.”

  “They didn’t. They didn’t beat me up or drug me or anything like that. I was just cold and hungry and really filthy. And scared shitless.”

  “I saw where you were,” he said, his voice hollow, “just a nasty mattress and one rough blanket.”

  “Don’t forget the bucket,” I said, “first-class accommodations.”

  “Too soon to joke about it,” he said roughly, holding my hand and kissing it. “I want to get in the bed with you and hold you.”

  “How did you find me?” I asked, hesitantly.

  “I couldn’t believe you’d just leave me like that.”

  “But I was—" I broke off. “I had called a car to take me to the airport because I saw that guy at the pub, the one you were suspicious of. I couldn’t risk them going after you and your family. Your brothers have young kids, Tommy, I’d never forgive myself if something happened!”

  “But you weren’t leaving me because you wanted to,” he said. “That makes all the difference. I tried to convince myself that you were moving on, that one fight and you were done. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were more than that. And you needed me. So I hired a friend of Connor’s to look into it. That led us to Chicago, and we found the guy, Jackson.”

  “The one that put me on the plane?” I shuddered. He nodded.

  “He knew where you were kept and where you’d be taken. So that made it easy. I got to you as fast as I could. I wish I’d hired Eli sooner. I hate that you went through that, and I’m so sorry I didn’t come after you as soon as you disappeared.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for, Tommy. I walked out on you. I’ve regretted it a thousand times, but I did it because I thought I was keeping you safe.”

  “You did it because you’re stubborn as hell,” he said, his face grim but his voice affectionate, “because you care about me.”

  “No,” I insisted, “because I love you like crazy. I never should have let you go ten years ago, and I made the same mistake again.”

  “In fairness, there wasn’t a loan shark involved ten years ago was there?” he said.

  “I thought it was too soon to joke about this?” I replied mischievously.

  “No, it’s too soon for you to joke about it. I can joke,” he said, deadpan. I managed a rusty giggle.

  “There’s that smile I’ve missed,” he said, kissing my hand again.

  “I can never tell you enough how sorry I am that I got myself into this, and that you had to save me.”

  “It was the privilege of my life to save you from this,” Tommy said seriously. “There is nothing I would rather have done on this Earth.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat at his words. My eyes were stinging with unshed tears. I didn’t deserve that kind of devotion, and I didn’t deserve a man like him, much less another chance with him.

  “I get it,” I said. “You’ve always been a hero to me. I never should have come to St. Martin. I went there because of an article, because I saw you in a magazine. I wanted to be near you, to see you again. I wanted you back and I just led the Mob to your doorstep. I’m so glad they didn’t hurt you, d
idn’t come after you.”

  “Why would they when they had what they wanted? They had you. Do you realize how much worse that makes it? Do you think I wanted you to sacrifice yourself or go on the run again to keep me safe? There is nothing we couldn’t have faced together. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth,” he said. I heard the thread of grief in his voice, the sadness he felt that I hadn’t confided in him.

  “I was so ashamed. I still am. I didn’t want you to know, and I wanted you to be untouched by the mess I made. I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have told you everything from the beginning, as soon as you asked about my fake name.”

  “You still loved me, even then,” he said, emotion in his voice. I nodded.

  “I wanted to be yours. I wanted to turn back time before I ruined everything. I was scared of how I would feel if you were hurt or killed in action. So I hid from it, hid from any kind of feeling that deep. I told myself at the time that we were too young to get that serious, and that it was the responsible thing to do, to break up. That we wanted different things from life. I wanted to stay in Chicago, and you wanted to travel the world and save everybody. Well, I don’t give a shit about Chicago anymore,” I said with a laugh that was almost a snort.

  “And I don’t want to save anybody but you. If I’d stayed and fought for you back then, we’d have a couple of kids by now. None of this would’ve ever happened,” he said. I shook my head.

  “I would’ve screwed it up some other way. You wouldn’t have been happy staying in the city. Not with all that world out there waiting for you, and all those noble things you were going to do to make the bad guys lose,” I said, shaking my head and swallowing my tears.

  “You’d be surprised in life how often you turn out to be the bad guy, even if you meant to be the hero,” he said, his voice sounding bitter and sad at the same time. I squeezed his hand.

  “Sometime I want to hear about what you’ve been through. In the SEALs, I mean. But—when I said I get it, I meant it. You rescued me. You were loyal and brave and everything I know to be true about you. That doesn’t mean you want to be with me after all that. And I understand. It’s been a roller coaster for us, lots of drama and pain and no one wants to live like that long term. So don’t think you have to let me down easy or that you have to wait because I’m fragile and have an IV in me and stuff. I understand. You don’t have to stay with me, not even here at the hospital. I’ll call somebody to come get me when I’m released after I get the test results. I’ll be fine, I swear,” I said.

  It was the best I could do. I wanted to say goodbye gracefully, let him out of this if he felt obligated. My insides twisted, bracing myself to be grateful and calm when he answered me, steeling myself not to burst into tears or beg him. I’d used up all my chances with him. Anyone could see that. He was a caring friend, a man who’d been on the receiving end of the worst of me too often to pretend otherwise.

  “You ridiculous woman,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t have to stay with you? As if there were anyplace else I want to be. I told you, saving you was worth laying down my life. Do you think I’m that fucking noble? Because I must be a better actor than I thought. I don’t want to live in a world where you aren’t there. If it cost me everything, I was going to make sure you made it out alive. Because I’ve lost a lot in my life. I’ve seen friends of mine gone in a flash. One of my best friends, in fact. I didn’t learn much from it that was worth anything. Except that when you have what you want, don’t let go. And I’m not letting go, Liza. Not till the very end. When you see them put me in the ground, that’s when I’m letting you go.”

  A sob burst out of me, and I wrenched my hand from his, burying my face in my hands. “I swore I wouldn’t cry,” I blubbered, sniffing and snorting. He dropped a box of tissues on my lap, and I tried to mop my face off, but the tears kept coming. I felt the narrow bed shift as he sat down, pulling me up into his arms.

  “Do you hear me, Liza?” he said roughly into my hair. “I am never letting you go.”

  Helplessly, I wept against his chest, twisting my fingers in his shirt. It was all I could do not to beg him never to step out of my sight. I’d gone too long without the feel of him, the smell of him, the reassuring thud of his heartbeat under my cheek. I burrowed against him and let him hold me, only wincing a little when moving my arm tugged at the IV stuck in my hand.

  He stroked my hair, “I can’t wait to get you home.”

  “I don’t have one,” I said brokenly.

  “You have a home with me. Wherever we go. For now, it’s a hotel room. After that, we’ll sort out your statement and go home to the island. For good.”

  I nodded. I didn’t even have the strength to thank him. I just leaned into him, trying to sort out everything that had happened.

  “I’m impressed, you didn’t even mention that you could’ve been released an hour ago if I hadn’t insisted they give you a full workup,” he said. “You must be really tired.”

  I nodded, “I told you I wasn’t hurt. I was cold and needed a shower. The fear was the worst part. I mean, going to the apartment, you’d think it would have been paradise because it was warm enough and I got a shower, but it was the most terrifying part. Because I knew why I was there. But thanks to you, they never got the chance to get me ready for—that. I showered and then I freaked out in the bathroom. Which brings us to the fact that I’m in a robe. You’ve been carrying me around Chicago in a robe. Not a very warm one, and not appropriate either.”

  “Do you want an ‘I heart this hospital’ shirt?” he teased.

  “Not really.”

  “Good, then we’ll have something delivered to the hotel. I think you’ll want a long hot bath before you get dressed anyway. Maybe a nap.”

  “Maybe not just a nap,” I said huskily.

  Tommy dropped a kiss on top of my head. Then he leaned back a little to shrug me off of his chest. He tipped my chin up and leaned in. I caught my breath, ready for his kiss as his breath fanned across my lips. Someone cleared their throat, and I heard the divider curtain slide back.

  I gripped his hand, a shock of fear rippling through me. Even though my logical brain knew I was out of that hell hole, even though I knew rationally that my ordeal was over, there was still the seed of trauma in me now. Some startle reflex, some surge of adrenaline that cropped up for no reason and made me want to burrow my face into Tommy’s chest and hide.

  It was the doctor, holding my chart and looking perfectly normal. Not like some member of Lucci’s organization had infiltrated the ER just to steal me back. The human trafficking ring was being broken up by the cops, and I wasn’t valuable enough as a hostage to go to any trouble to retrieve me. An outstanding debt from the loan shark side business was the least of Rocco Lucci’s problems now, thanks to the O’Shea brothers. So I took calming breaths and tried to loosen my death grip on Tommy’s hand.

  “Miss Kelly, I’m happy to report that you’re about to be released. The latest blood work shows that the electrolytes we gave you in the IV have helped restore your balance. I’m prescribing prenatal vitamins, of course, and I recommend following up with your OB/GYN in the next week to make sure everything’s ticking along nicely.”

  “I wasn’t assaulted during my captivity. I thought I was clear about that. I don’t need a further exam,” I said stubbornly. I didn’t want an invasive pelvic examination in the next week to look forward to, honestly. I shrank from the idea of more doctors or tests.

  “I understand that. I’m speaking of following up about your pregnancy. You’ll want to make sure the baby is measuring—"

  “Wait, what?” I asked, baffled.

  “According to the levels in your blood work, you’re probably in the five-to-six-week range, dating from your last cycle. I estimate you are perhaps four weeks along. You would be the better judge of the time of conception,” he said.

  “I—" I gaped at the doctor. “Thank you,” I said finally. I didn’t know what else to say. I was t
hunderstruck. Pregnant? A quick count told me that it had been about a month since I was last with Tommy.

  Then I felt the prickle on the back of my neck, realized that Tommy had heard the same thing I did. That I was pregnant with his child. That I had no idea until this moment. A warm flush colored my cheeks. I had to be brave enough to look at him, even though it seemed almost impossible. I was stunned and thrilled and excited. I was also terrified that this might be a bridge too far for Tommy. He had risked his life to rescue me, had come thousands of miles to find me. Me. A girlfriend. Not a built-in family, an around the clock commitment for the next eighteen or so years. There might be a limit to how much the man was willing to change his life for me, for this. He was a bartender. He worked late, slept late. Nothing in his routine was set up for a baby—anymore than mine was. I had been a chef and worked till two in the morning on the regular before my shit show of life on the run from the Mob took over. I was overthinking, as usual. I had to look at him. I tried to unclench my jaw, relax my shoulders, everything I knew about yoga to calm my anxiety, but nothing worked. There was no alternative.

  My smile was more like a maniac clown’s than a hopeful mother-to-be’s when I turned to him. I braced myself like I was waiting for the impact of a hurricane. And there was Tommy, handsome as ever, smiling like everything right at me.

  “A baby,” he said, the lilt of joy in his rough voice as he gathered me into his arms.

  Chapter 29

  Tommy

  She was mine. Liza Jo Kelly was mine. And baby would make three. There was no lottery in the damn world that could have been a bigger jackpot to me. No pot of gold, no cache of bitcoin, no pirate’s chest of diamonds and rubies. Those riches had nothing on her.

  I had walked out of that hospital, her hand in mine, my baby growing in her. My God, that had been the sweetest thing I ever heard, when she turned to me, eyes wide as terror at the news of her surprise pregnancy. When her eyes met mine and she saw my face, she had giggled. A simple, wholesome, joyful giggle that bubbled up from her. That alone was hope for the future.