“I have no intention of treating her like shit. I would never be violent to a woman,” I said and Oz nodded his head.
“Yeah, I see that. It’s just that after all the men she’s been with, I think Alexis needs a change. Like she needs to find happiness and security with a guy. I think if she was happy in her own personal life, she wouldn’t be so obsessed with mine,” he said and chuckled weakly.
I knew he was right. I didn’t have to be violent to treat her like shit, what I was doing now was bad enough. She needed someone she could rely on, someone who would come home to her every night, who would be there to hold her when she needed to be held. And I wasn’t that guy.
“I guess what I’m saying, man, is that I don’t want to see my sister hurt again,” he continued and this time we looked at each other. Oz seemed to be sad too, for his sister. Despite how hard he tried to rebel against her; it was pretty obvious that they were close. They had each other and I was coming between them.
“Yeah, I hear ya. I don’t want to hurt anybody either. Thanks for letting me in on the situation,” I said.
“No problem,” Oz added and he stood up, lightly thumping my back before he walked back to his post so he could shoot the targets again.
I watched him, smoking the last bits of the cigarette in my hand. I was royally messing this up. I was putting my own animal need to have Alexis before her feelings. I was exactly the kind of guy she didn’t need in her life, because I was bad news.
The attraction between us would fade away if we stopped seeing each other, right? I knew I needed to break things off with her, before she grew even more attached, before I stopped meeting the expectations she had of me.
I should have stuck to fucking strippers and groupies; I shouldn’t have gotten myself involved with a smart emotional girl; no matter how crazily I wanted her. I needed to stop being selfish and start acting like an adult.
It was about time that I realized I couldn’t have every candy in the store.
Chapter 18
Alexis
I had the afternoon off from work again, and instead of meeting up with my friend, Courtney, for lunch like we’d decided to…I made up an excuse about feeling sick and stayed home. I didn’t want to have to sit through a meal with Courtney talking about her fabulous new husband and how much in love they were. I was happy for Courtney, I was glad that she’d found love in this neighborhood of ours but it would make me sad today.
It would make me sad thinking about Abe and what we couldn’t have.
I stayed in the apartment instead, cleaning and dusting and washing the dishes to keep myself occupied. Oz wasn’t home, as expected, and I realized that these days, I was worrying about him less.
I couldn’t help wondering if that had anything to do with the presence of Abe in our lives. Now that I had met Abe, and I had been with him and experienced that feeling of safety and security around him—I felt like Oz might be in good hands too.
I should have been afraid of those three men who had visited me at the supermarket the previous day. I should have been shouting and screaming and trying to keep Oz in the apartment and away from the Marked Skulls. I should have been putting up a fight. Instead, I was feeling strangely calm about the situation, like I trusted Abe to handle it.
I hadn’t seen much of Oz lately. He came home late and woke up early and we barely spoke, but I hadn’t felt the need to burden him with the threats I’d received from the Dark Legion. Whatever Abe was doing, whatever plan he had…I trusted him to keep my brother and me safe.
Why did I trust him? I didn’t know the answer to that question. There was just a feeling I got from him, from being around him—like he knew what he was doing. He was a strong and powerful man, and he would be able to deal with the Dark Legion.
Slowly, I was beginning to come to the conclusion that there was nothing I could do to keep Oz away from the MC. All I had done in these past few days was push him even farther away from me. He was a grown adult with a mind of his own, and all I could do at this point; was warn him. Besides that, he was his own decision maker.
My mind was changing, I could feel it…the more I spent time with Abe. Maybe that was his plan all along. Maybe he had seduced me, knowing that once I had fallen for him, he would be able to change my mind about Oz’ future.
Whether or not that was his plan, Abe had been successful at it. If Oz was going to choose this life, then I wanted it to be the Marked Skulls. There was nobody else I would rather have as his mentor in this profession, than Abe. He would be safe in Abe’s hands, that much I could sense already.
My phone buzzed, while my hands were covered in rubber gloves for the washing up. I wiped them dry and picked up my phone to see a message from Courtney. She’d sent me a text and a picture, of the lunch she was having with her husband. She told me she missed having me there, but her husband was keeping her company instead.
I smiled at the thought that she had someone with her. A good man who stayed out of trouble and had time to dedicate to her. Instead of me, who was all alone in the apartment, cleaning up after my brother on my afternoon off from my job—because I had nowhere else to be, because I didn’t have a man who would keep me company over lunch.
I wondered what Abe was doing right now. Was he at the bar with Vanity on his lap? Was he at the strip club, watching her take her clothes off? Was he at his home alone too? Eating lunch by himself and grateful that he didn’t have a pesky woman with him, asking him a million uncomfortable questions.
I sat down at the kitchen table, covering my face with my hands.
I felt exhausted, just mentally…from all these constant raging thoughts about my life, about Oz and about where this was going with Abe.
The truth was that I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I had seen it in his eyes the previous day when I asked him about Vanity after sex. He couldn’t have gotten dressed fast enough. He made it very clear to me that he wanted me to leave his house. Sex was done, so we were done. That was our little unspoken arrangement.
I needed to stop. I needed to force myself to resist him, the next time I was alone with him. If I didn’t…I’d make myself crazy. I would end up finding myself in the same situation again, like with every other guy I had been with.
Maybe I could go on a date with Joshua? Maybe I should give him a shot. There was no spark between us, there was no chemistry…but at least, Joshua, like Courtney’s husband, would be here with me now, sharing a meal and talking.
I needed to talk to Abe. I decided that I had to tell him that I was okay with Oz joining the MC, that I wouldn’t be putting up a resistance anymore. I also wanted to meet him and resist him, for once, not have sex with him the moment we were alone.
I picked up my purse and headed out. I didn’t have Abe’s phone number, so I would just have to drive around the neighborhood till I found his bike parked somewhere. That was my only way of getting a hold of him.
Chapter 19
Abe
I was working at the garage by myself when I saw Alexis’ car pull up outside. I wasn’t prepared to see her and I didn’t know what she could have to talk to me about.
After the conversation I had with Oz, I was feeling confused and desperate to spend some time alone. The last thing I wanted to do was hash it out with Alexis right now.
I heard the sound of her footsteps approaching before I saw her, and I slid myself out from under the car I was working on. Alexis looked around the garage, before she spotted me on the ground. I was straightening myself up, covered in grease and oil from the car.
She looked just as beautiful as she always did. She was petite and delicate in a cotton yellow dress, which brightened up her whole appearance along with her red hair. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her green eyes sparkled as she looked at me. I knew she had something to say.
“If you’re looking for Oz, he’s not here,” I said, standing up and dusting my hands.
“No, I’m not looking for Oz. There’s no point, it’s not like he wants to t
alk to me anyway,” she said and slipped the keys of her car into her purse.
“Okay, then do you have something to say to me?” I asked, walking over to the tool box. I kept my back turned to her, and I knew I was being rude, but I needed to put some distance between us. I didn’t want to be in that situation again where I couldn’t resist pulling her into my arms.
I heard Alexis sigh lightly. I could sense something different about her. Today, she was less aggressive. She wasn’t here to fight and I was worried about what she might say next because I knew I would disappoint her.
“Well, yeah, I’ve been thinking,” she said and I turned to look at her again, I couldn’t help it.
She had her hands clasped together and a worried expression on her face. My gaze travelled down from her eyes, to her long slender neck and the way her breasts rose and fell with every breath she was taking. She had a tiny waist, and endless long legs. I knew what it felt like to have those legs wrapped around me. I knew what that mouth tasted of too, and how tight it was when my cock was ramming into it.
I felt a movement in my pants and I clenched my jaws. I needed to rip this off like a bandaid before it went too far.
“About Oz?” I asked and she nodded her head.
“Yeah, about Oz and other things too,” she said.
I felt my body tense up when I heard those words. I couldn’t help but come to conclusions about what those other things were. She was talking about us. She was going to ask me where this was going.
I cleared my throat and walked around the garage, trying to make it look like I had things to do. I didn’t want to meet her eyes. I was trying to avoid this confrontation.
“Abe,” she said my name softly and I looked at her. Her eyes were stretched wide and her voice was soft. This was a new side to Alexis that I was seeing. It was strange that she wasn’t trying to fight me.
“How can I help you, Alexis?” I asked, making my voice sound as formal as I could possibly make it.
Her eyes darted about the garage nervously and she gulped. I could see that she was trying to find the right words to say, and I wished she didn’t—the last thing I wanted was to see her upset.
“I’ve been thinking about us…about what’s been going on between us,” she said. Her fingers were wound together, she was knotting and pressing them out of nervousness. I had a sudden violent urge to pull her into my arms and to stroke her hair. I wanted to tell her whatever it took to make her feel better again.
“Alexis…” I said her name and she shook her head.
“No, please, Abe, let me just say it,” she interrupted me and I clenched my jaws with frustration. I didn’t want to hear the words.
“The simple thing is, that I trust you. You’ve won. I trust you with Oz and I…I trust you with me,” she began and I followed her every movement with my eyes. I wished she hadn’t said that, because now it would make it even harder for me to turn her away. I had nothing to give her other than misery.
“And…regarding you and me. It’s crazy for me to even admit it, but I don’t want to pretend like nothing is happening between us,” she continued and I took a few solid steps towards her. She stopped talking and looked up at me with her large nervous eyes. I could see that it was draining her of her resources; to say all this to me.
“Alexis, just stop talking!” I grunted and she gulped.
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed deeply.
“You shouldn’t have said anything before you heard what I had to say, because I’ve been thinking too,” I told her and her lips parted gently. I had an idea of what she was expecting to hear, but she was going to be disappointed.
“I’ve decided that this needs to stop,” I stated.
Alexis clamped her mouth shut again and raised her chin up to glare at me. There was no anger behind those eyes this time, she just looked like someone who had been trampled over.
“Well, if you’ve decided already, then I have nothing more to say,” she said and I pushed my hands into the pockets of grease-stained jeans.
“I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, that was never my intention but I think we should stop…doing what we’re doing,” I said and she flared her nostrils at me, looking proud.
“Stop fucking, you mean?” she snapped.
“I just don’t want you to think that this could turn into something else, and the right thing to do would be to end it between us before I hurt you more,” I said and Alexis nodded her head and looked away from me.
I could see it in her eyes that I was already hurting her, that I was insulting her, but she was trying to keep her pride.
“Good, because that was what I came here to tell you anyway,” she said. I stared at her, hopeful that she was telling the truth. If she wanted to end things between us anyway, then me doing it first wouldn’t have made much of a difference…but she looked like she was hurting.
“Alexis…” I said and stepped towards her. That feeling of needing to hold her washed over me again, but she backed away from me.
“You don’t need to apologize to me, Abe. You’ve done me a favor,” she said, and with that, she turned from me. I watched her walking out of the garage, and I listened for the sound of her car backing up and then driving away.
What I should have felt, was relief. That it was over. That I wouldn’t be responsible for messing up her life anymore; but what I felt was an emptiness. It was like I was addicted to her, and now I was going cold turkey. My craving for Alexis was already filling my veins and lungs.
I paced around the garage, trying to keep my hands busy so that I didn’t smash something. She said this was what she wanted! And I had no other choice but to believe her.
I looked around for my phone and when I found it, I dialed Vanity’s number. She answered on the third ring. She sounded like she had been sleeping.
“Finally! I’ve been waiting for your call,” Vanity said groggily. The moment I heard her voice, I wished it was Alexis instead.
“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” I told her, rubbing a hand exhaustedly over my face.
“You’re always busy. Are you at the house? I’ll come over if you want, or you can come over to mine. Don’t worry, I don’t have anyone here with me. I’m all yours now,” she said with a giggle.
“Vanity, listen. It’s over,” I said, a growl was rising up in my throat.
“What are you fucking talking about?” her sugary sweet voice had taken on a different tone pretty quickly.
“I’m talking about us, us fucking, you turning up at my place. Everything. It’s over. I don’t give a shit who you invite to your apartment,” I barked into the phone.
“It’s her, isn’t it? It’s that fucking bitch! I knew you were fucking her and now she has her claws in you. You think you’re suddenly going to turn into some good little loyal boyfriend?” Vanity was screeching and I cut the call.
I didn’t want to hear her voice ever again.
Chapter 20
Alexis
When I returned to the apartment, I found Oz in the kitchen.
“I was just about to make some coffee, do you want one?” he asked. I smiled weakly at him and nodded.
I sat down at the kitchen table and watched him making two mugs of coffee and then empty a box of cookies on a plate. I could sense that he wanted to talk, which was high time because we hadn’t ever gone so long without talking.
Oz sat down across from me, cradling his mug of coffee.
“You’ve been waking up early these days,” I said, arching an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes.
“Please, sis, don’t start…” he exclaimed and I smiled.
“I’m just saying that’s a good thing,” I told him and he picked up a cookie and munched, strewing crumbs all over the front of his t-shirt.
“I thought we could talk, like, about everything that’s been going on between us. I need you to look at things from my perspective because you’re my sister and I care about your opinion,” he began.
I no
dded my head and took a sip of the coffee, to which Oz had added too much sugar.
“I’m all ears,” I told him with a smile on my face and he looked surprised. He was expecting a fight, but it wasn’t coming.
“Look, sis, I want to join the Marked Skulls MC. Abe is a great mentor, he’s taking me under his wing and showing me the ropes. I think if I can learn from him, then I’ll be very good at it,” he said and I nodded my head some more.
“Very good at what?” I asked and Oz looked about the kitchen nervously.
“You know, at the business,” he replied. I smiled at him again.
“You can relax, Oz, I’m not trying to fight you on this. I get it. You’ll be good at whatever it is that the MC does. Dealing drugs and illegal things and offering businesses protection and other such things,” I said and Oz ran a hand through his ginger hair. He had no idea how much he looked like dad. He didn’t remember him.
“Yeah, exactly, that sort of stuff,” he said. I took another sip of my coffee while he stared at me, expecting me to say something more.
“And it’s not just that sis, I think the Marked Skulls are headed towards greatness. They’re trying to get into some big scale business and we’re all going to end up making a lot of dough,” he continued and I looked at him with my lips pursed. How did he not know yet, that I had never cared about the money? I cared about his safety.
“Once I make some money, we can move out of this shit-hole, move into a big ass house, like the kind you want. Maybe we can move to a better neighborhood, so you can stay out of it. I don’t want you to get involved in anything that you don’t want,” Oz said and I looked at him sharply.
“As long as my brother is involved in it, I will be too…that’s the way these things work. I remember from when we were kids and dad was trying to get into the same thing,” I said and Oz glared at me from under his heavy brows.
“I’m not dad. I have Abe and the backing of an entire MC. I’m never going to be alone in this like dad was,” he retorted and I nodded my head.
Abe (Marked Skulls MC Book 3) Page 10