by Mia Ford
“It’s not about the women, or the girl, or even the fact that I’m dating Flora. It bothers me that he’s my father.”
“And I’m sure it bothers him that you’re his son, but guess what? There’s not much either of you are going to be able to do about that. The only thing that you can do, is not talk to one another and inevitably, one of you is going to feel bad about that one day…Probably you.”
I felt my shoulders raise and fall in something of a half-hearted agreement. “You hardly talk to your dad. How do you do it?”
“He makes it easy, he never calls, so I never have to feel bad about not answering and I don’t have to answer to hear him bitch.”
I chuckled, “So, really, your dad refusing to contact you is doing you a favor?”
“Kind of…” he replied, “Yeah, I guess you could say that. He certainly won’t win any father of the year awards, but at least he’s got a leg up on your old man.” Gavin huffed as his mind wandered deeper into contemplation, “I’ve never thought about it before, but I guess he’s actually doing me a favor…Huh, nicest thing that self-centered dick has ever done for me and he doesn’t even know it. Maybe I should call him and tell him.”
“Won’t he call you more, if you do that?”
“Yeah, but it’d be funny,” he replied, without missing a beat.
I shook my head but found myself wishing that I could be more Gavin, when it came to the attitude he took with issues that concerned his father. Realistically, I shouldn’t let my father’s shit bother me. By now, it should be funny, almost like a game I knew was too rigged for me to win. So long as I had to play, I might as well have fun with it, right?
However, I couldn’t bring myself to truly act on it the way I wanted to. Even though I could think of the smartass comments, while I was on the phone with him, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. It was an annoying thing that I wished I could overcome, but wishful thinking never did end well for me.
It always had a way of biting me in the ass and I had a sneaking suspicion that this situation wouldn’t prove to be all that different.
Chapter 9: Flora
“So, how did it go?” Riley demanded, almost immediately after I walked in the dorm door.
I could tell that she couldn’t wait to barrage me with questions about the date. She was always about gossip and news, even if it had nothing to do with her.
That was one of the things I loved about Riley, she always seemed just as happy for me as she would’ve been if the situation was happening to her.
I grinned, wondering if my face was turning red. I looked down at the floor, avoiding her penetrating stare.
“Damn! That well, huh?” She insisted, knowing that she was going to have to drag out every little detail if she was going to get any kind of kiss and tell story from me.
“Yes, it went very well. He’s a nice guy,” I told her as I collapsed on the couch and she took a seat across from me.
“Did you wear the fuck me dress? The one I left out for you.” She blurted out, “Did it work?”
“I’m sorry, the what now?” I asked, feeling slightly embarrassed.
“Yeah, that’s what you do. You buy something that you look so hot in, they can’t help but want to take it off you. Sometimes shoes do the trick too, when that’s all you’re wearing…”
“Okay, TMI…” I waved my hand in front of my face to stop her, “I guess. Yes, I did.”
“And? Did they work?” She asked bluntly.
“Well, I’d like to think it was more than the dress, but…”
“Oh my God!” Riley squealed, “How was it?
Again, I felt the corners of my mouth curl up with knowing excitement, “Yeah, it was pretty damn good.”
“Oh my God! So, are you seeing him?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, “This is all very new to me. I mean, I’d like to see him again and I think he wants to see me again.”
“And why shouldn’t he?” She demanded, indignantly, “I mean, he should be happy to have a thing with a girl like you.”
I rolled my eyes, “Simmer down, Riley. We aren’t ‘a thing’. It’s still just casual. I still don’t know if I want to see anyone right now, much less have a face to go with the name.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. You don’t want to rush into anything,” she replied sounding surprisingly supportive, until she paused and added the sarcastic portion of her comment, “I mean, if you don’t overthink this thing to death, you might actually have some fun and be normal for once.”
“Haha!” I hissed, crossing my arms, “You know this is a big deal for me. It’s not like I wanted a boyfriend. Hell, I’m too busy during the school year to even have friends.”
“Tell me about it,” Riley hissed, rolling her eyes. Then, returning to the situation at hand, she asked, “Is he hot?”
I narrowed my eyes, “You’ve seen him.”
“Um, not the parts that matter.”
I felt my cheeks start to redden again, “Oh…In that case, hell yeah!”
Riley squealed as though she was personally involved in all of this.
“Oh, yes,” she exclaimed, “There is. You have that look and I know what that means.”
“What look?” I retorted teasingly, narrowing my eyes in an attempt to control my facial expression.
“The look, the one that you get when you’re really happy. You’re talking about Collin like you talk about doing well in school and when the teacher gives you a practice test before the real one.” As she spoke, realizing what she was saying, she shook her head. “Which, I still don’t understand.”
“No, that’s impossible,” I insisted teasingly, “The love that a well-designed practice test and I share is a unique bond.”
Riley laughed as she playfully scolded, “Oh my God. You are such a dork. Why am I friends with you?”
“Because you love me, and you know it,” I retorted.
“Fair enough,” Riley rolled her eyes, “But Dork-Ville or not, you still have a look…But maybe, like I’ve been telling you all along, this is your chance to balance it out. Maybe what you need now is a little adventure…A little mystery. It sounds like this Collin guy might be the perfect man for the job.”
“I’m not getting my hopes up,” I insisted, “I still have a lot of baggage that I need to…”
“Wait? Are you talking about Bill?” She interrupted harshly, causing me to pause abruptly, “Flora, if you’re still trying to say that your romantic dry spell is due to a man you never even loved, then you’re not just making excuses, you’re digging trenches behind them and sticking your head in the sand.”
“What? No, I’m not. We were together for…A while… It was my longest relationship and I spent even longer trying to get rid of him. It’s hard to just get back out there.”
“You’re dating, not going through probation. There is no waiting time. You can see whoever you want, whenever you want, especially since you were the one to break it off to begin with.”
I rolled my eyes.
“No, Flora, I’m serious. You have to embrace it. You can’t avoid happiness for the rest of your life. You took the plunge, now you have to swim.”
“I said I wanted to see him again,” I insisted, “What more do you want from me?”
“I want you to stop being in denial that you’re dating him.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just being cautious.”
“To hell with caution, Flora. You were cautious with Bill and look what that got you?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t love Bill…And I’m not saying that I love Collin. Christ, I’ve only been on one real date with the man,” I insisted hurriedly before she dug deeper than what I truly meant.
“But you could?”
I nodded as I thought about the truth in that statement, “Yeah. I think so.”
“Well, then I guess it’s better that you go in wholeheartedly because whatever happens, at least you can say you tried your best,” sh
e offered. When she spoke this time, her voice was free of humor.
“Thanks,” I offered, although I wasn’t sure I was ready for any of what I was feeling. “Besides,” I continued, “I’m not even sure how long it’s going to last. I mean, Collin does have a bit of a reputation and I can’t…I mean, we’re in college. I can’t have him trampling all over my reputation.”
“Cause, God forbid people think you’re fun,” she hissed, and I narrowed my eyes at her.
“I don’t want that. I’m here to learn. People talk. I’ll know and if we’re committed, or supposedly, I don’t want to settle for that.”
“I’m sure if he’s committed to you, he’ll be committed to you and if he’s not, you’ll know long before it hurts,” she insisted.
“I’m not so sure about that. I mean, I think he kind of likes his life. He might not be ready to stop, uh…sowing his oats.”
“Well, you’re either an oat or you’re not. It shouldn’t take you all that long to figure it out.”
I snorted a laugh, “Thanks…That’s very wise.”
“No, but seriously,” Riley insisted, “You can’t keep going into relationships finding new and inventive ways for it to fail.”
“This isn’t inventive. It’s testosterone in a wild man. It’s biology.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that’s the point. Your reasons to think you’re going to fail are exceptionally easy to spot. Maybe it’s telling that you should stop looking. You’ve already found his way out. If he takes it, then you’ll know but if you like him, it’s only fair that you give him the benefit of the doubt.”
I let out a long breath as I mulled over what she was telling me. “I guess you have a point,” I finally insisted, “I’ll try to be more positive. I mean, it would be nice if this did work out.”
“Exactly!”
Chapter 10:Collin
It was a pretty great day, I had to admit.
Fourth of July was always so busy for me, between the guys wanting to have some fun and their extra-curricular activities, which were heightened with patriotism, it had been a long time since I was actually able to enjoy the holiday for what it was.
This year, however, was far different than all the rest. Flora and I had spent the whole day together. We had done that a lot lately. Yet, the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to be around her.
She was so smart and interesting. She was real, which where I grew up, was a commodity in and of itself. In the business world, it seemed the higher up you got in the ranking of society, the more secrets you kept and the faker you became. There was no real friendships or comraderies. It was simply two ruthless people making an alliance not to fiscally screw one another unless they had a really, really good reason.
It was strange. For as much time as I had spent with my father, for instance, I never really knew anything about him. I knew that he played golf and I knew he was good at it, but I didn’t know if he actually liked golf. I knew that he smoked cigars and he could tell which were cheap and which were a genuine gift of appreciation, by smelling it. However, I had no idea whether he actually enjoyed smoking cigars, or if that was a tactical play he used to add another level of sophistication to him throughout his social circles.
Of course, my father didn’t know anything about me, but he never cared all that much anyway, so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.
Once he figured out I was nothing like him, he tried to salvage what he could and break down the rest, but it never worked. I would never be like my father and I was happy for that, but I did wish that I knew him a little better.
Even myself, with the experience here at college; I couldn’t deny that it was eerily similar to the way my father lived his life. I was only friends with the guys, until the other day, of course, because it was good for my social stature.
Dating Flora did nothing for my social circles. I didn’t have to pretend to like anything, pretend to go along with anything, or stay silent when something was going on that I didn’t like. It was great!
For the first time, I could be the person I wanted to be, and I didn’t have to worry about how it would look.
Therefore, this Fourth of July, Flora and I were sitting on a blanket, in a field, waiting for the fireworks to start.
Every year, the college would hop right on the red, white, and blue bandwagon to shoot off fireworks, for the students that remained on campus. It was always a fun evening, but this was the first time I wasn’t trolling for a one-night stand and drunk out of my mind.
Although, tonight, was different. I was enjoying myself, simply happy to be in Flora’s company. I had missed her far more than I should have when she wasn’t around and now that I was with her, I didn’t want to waste a second.
Getting comfortable with her as we stared up at the sky, I put my arm around Flora and she leaned into me. Feeling her resting against me and wafting the tantalizing scent of her was comforting in a way that I wasn’t used to. I had never quite been able to enjoy a woman’s company before. It was mostly a mutually shallow agreement. There was no emotion, only lust and passion, that was over quickly.
I never had the opportunity to get to know a woman long enough to know if I even could relax around her, never mind getting comfortable enough to actually do it.
However, tonight, I was starting to feel a sense of calm that I enjoyed. The feel of her weight, pressing lightly against me and her head, resting on my shoulder was a gift of intimacy that I had never experienced before.
There were many experiences that were a first when it came to my relationship with Flora. Even though we hadn’t dated for very long and I had no idea where it would go or how long it would last, I already had learned so much. I had felt so much that I wasn’t sure was possible until I was with her.
I had never had the chance to be anything other than the rich kid who was going places. However, that was only a façade, considering my father was rich, not me and I had no idea where my life was going to take me. I wasn’t even sure the road I was going down was the right one for me.
However, with Flora, I had a different experience. She didn’t know my father, nor did she care to talk about him and she didn’t expect anything of me. She simply enjoyed my company. She didn’t ask what my plans were, and she didn’t try to give me advice. We simply kept one another company.
We talked about normal stuff, and I didn’t have to worry that what I was saying or doing would get back to my father.
Sure, I was waiting for my father to call me and ream me out for getting in a fight with Ben, but I didn’t have to worry about any of that now.
I trusted Gavin and even in the short time we had known one another, I trusted Flora a hell of a lot more than I ever trusted Ben, or any of the other guys I used to live with.
It was nice; freeing and even if Flora hadn’t come into my life, I wished I had done something like this a long time ago.
My only regret about the whole situation, was that I wished I had gotten a nice, solid hit on Ben while we were fighting.
I was just beginning to relax and settle in for the firework show, which was going to start any moment now, when I heard a voice that was vaguely familiar behind me. I didn’t know who it was, but I knew exactly the kind of person it was…and the thought made me cringe.
“Oh, lord! Would you look who it is?” A woman with large boobs and an even bigger ass came bouncing up to us. Her voice was high-pitched and annoying. It was one of those voices that made everyone around her wince every time she opened her mouth.
However, judging by her dye job and the tattoo on her breast that was visible peeking out of her low-cut, red white and blue tank top, I figured most men didn’t want her for her conversation skills.
As she approached, both Flora and I sat up.
“Hi…Um…Can I help you?” I offered, trying to politely tell her to leave me the hell alone, but she was persistent.
“Don’t tell me you forgot who I am, Collin,” she insisted in a manner that
made me sure I had pissed her off, but she was trying to continue to be joyful. “I’m Brandi! Remember, I ran into you at that frat party last semester and we spent the night together?”
As she spoke, she popped her gum, and stuck a pose, as if her thrusting her boobs closer to me was going to jog my memory.
“I’m sorry, Brandi, I think you have me confused with someone else,” I replied curtly, knowing that she was trying to cause trouble.
I was certain that I had never spent the night with her. She certainly wasn’t any kind of my type. In fact, the thought of screwing her kind of made me nauseous…
However, that also could be because I knew that there was trouble brewing with Flora. I was certain that regardless of whether I had actually slept with her or not, this was going to cause a rift between us. I only hoped that I would be able to patch it before it did any real damage.
Her face scrunched up in anger as her eyes narrowed, “Wow! I knew you were an ass, but really? You don’t remember me?” She scoffed, directing her attention to Flora, “Honey, enjoy it tonight because if he doesn’t remember me, then he sure as hell ain’t gonna know your name in the morning.”
With that, she turned and stomped off in a huff.
I bit my tongue, far more concerned with Flora than with getting the last word against that bitch.
“I am so sorry,” I insisted as Flora looked back at me, her mouth gaping with surprise.
Flora was usually quiet and reserved but after recovering from the verbal sucker punch, she grumbled something and moved to stand up.
“Whoa! Flora? What are you doing?”
“Stupid bitch…I want to show her who she’s messing with,” Flora hissed, glowering back at me, with a ravenous ire flashing in her eyes.
“Listen, Flora, I’m sorry. It’s not worth it. Please…I didn’t even…”
Before I could even finish, Flora had come to her senses and stopped trying to stand. Instead, she settled back down in my arms and stated, “It’s okay, it’s fine. You’re right. It’s not worth it. I’m above all this drama shit.”