by Mia Ford
I glance around, feeling ill as I recall just how crappy Pru’s neighborhood is. No matter what had happened, I never should’ve kicked her out and sent her back here. I should’ve found her somewhere new to live like I promised her I would. Somewhere much nicer. She’s too good to be in a hell hole like this. I feel like I’ve been gut punched as I try to accept what I’ve done, all through my own selfishness. When I got the news of my firing I only thought about how it affected me, not her.
I hope this is something that I can make right, I think to myself as I plough on, needing to see her face even more desperately now. I hope she doesn’t hate me.
As I walk through the building to Pru’s home, all the memories that we’ve shared together flicker through my mind, none of them from the center. That time was so irrelevant to us, so nothing, it’s unimportant. I recall taking her out to view apartments and to do job interviews and how happy she was, I remember coming here to pick her up when it all got too much from her, then bringing her back to mine where we shared a delicate kiss for the very first time. I think about when we first caved to temptation and slept together at last. That really did feel like it was a long time coming. Then, I think about the night that she got drunk and I kissed her, when I really did fuck up.
By the time I’m outside her door, I’ve talked myself into being a trembling mess. I could use another drink for a bit of Dutch courage, but it’s too late for that now. It’s now or never.
I raise my hand, internally preparing myself before banging on the door, a noise so loud it shoots right through my brain. I actually feel myself jump a little, which is crazy because I’m the one who made that noise. When I don’t get anything for a couple of minutes, I rise up onto my tiptoes and I press my ear against the door. I swear I can hear movement inside, which causes me to knock again.
“Who’s there?” comes the eventual, weary reply. Even hearing her voice in this state, melts me.
“It’s er, it’s Logan, actually.” A heat stains my cheeks, I actually feel embarrassed. Maybe acting on a whim wasn’t such a good idea after all. “Can we talk for a moment, please?”
“Logan?” The door swings open and all the breath is sucked from my body. Pru looks even more beautiful than I remember with her pale blonde hair that’s slightly longer now, her high cheek bones and bright eyes, her womanly curves which she now knows much better how to show off… she’s a dream, but she’s real, and once upon a time she was mine. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I glance behind her seeing a sight that stops my heart. “Why is all your stuff boxed up?”
“Oh that’s…” She waves her hand dismissively. “That’s nothing. Why are you here?”
I push past her, not waiting for permission. Everything she owns is packed away, this apartment doesn’t look lived in at all. It’s a good job I came today or I would’ve missed her! She’d be in another home completely. I can’t believe it, I feel sick to my stomach. I really have lost her.
“What’s going on, Pru?” I demand, needing my answers even if I don’t really deserve them. “Why is all your stuff packed away? Do you have a new apartment, or something?”
She folds her arms defensively across her chest. “It isn’t really your business, is it?”
“No, I know.” I shake my head gravely. “I lost the right to ask you anything when I was an asshole, but I want to apologize, I want to tell you that I’m not going to be an idiot anymore. I want to make it right.” I glance up at her, ready to spill my guts. “I want to tell you what I should’ve been brave enough to say all along, and that’s that I love you.”
There’s something very freeing about finally getting those words out, it makes me feel lighter than a balloon and full of delicious cool air… but Pru doesn’t look impressed, not at all.
“You’re too late,” she says curtly. “I’m leaving. I’m moving away from the city. Tonight.”
Chapter Twenty Eight – Prudence
This is just a test, it has to be. Another thing come along to test my resolve. Just when I thought I had everything worked out all over again, this shocker comes out of the left wing to knock me over. I’ve spent a week and a half planning this, I know for a fact that it’s what I have to do and nothing is going to stop me. Not even the love of my life declaring that he feels the same way.
“It’s too late,” I reiterate, really trying to drive the point home. “I’m about to go now.”
“You can’t go.” He shakes his head rapidly from side to side. “You can’t, it isn’t right. I know that I fucked up but you can’t just leave. I mean, where are you even going?”
I sigh loudly, knowing that this is going to be the worst bit. “I’m moving to another state, Logan. I’m going to California to start again. I can’t be in New York anymore, it isn’t the place for me. I have… too many memories here, too many things that have gone wrong.” I give him a meaningful look, hoping that he knows I include him in that list. “I need to be free. To start new.”
“But… but what about practical stuff?” I can almost see him panicking. “What about an apartment and a job? What about paying for stuff? What about… there’s just too much to do.”
I chuckle lightly, finally feeling like an adult who doesn’t need to be taken care of. “I’ve done all that, Logan. I have an apartment, I’ve paid the deposit on it. I even have a job lined up. Just a temporary thing until I work out what I really want to do… you’ve helped me well, Logan, but I know what I’m doing now.” I pull the check out of my bag that I was going to quietly and anonymously drop off on my way, but I might as well give it to him now since he’s here. “I even have the cash to pay you back. I picked up some extra shifts in a bar to save up a little so…”
“So, you really are doing it?” Logan takes the check off me and he stuffs it into his pocket. He needs the money more than me now since he’s out of work as far as I know. “You really are going?”
“I’ve had a wonderful time here in New York City, but I think I need to put my past behind me once and for all now. The center is here which will always remind me of my childhood, and well.. you know, getting my heart broken. Not that I blame you, of course. You didn’t have a choice.”
“But that’s the thing.” Logan steps closer to me and for some reason I allow him to take my hands, despite the fact that I know it’ll stir me up all over again. Mind you, this whole visit has done that all by itself. “I did have a choice and I chose wrong. I should have told the center where to go. I only didn’t because I was afraid I couldn’t do anything else with my life and I also thought the cops might come in the picture. Trust me, I got threatened with that on more than one occasion.”
“A threat that they carried out,” I tell him honestly. His eyes fill up with fear and shock, compelling me to dispel those emotions. “I got rid of them, there’s nothing to worry about, but yeah they did come. That’s something else I want to get away from. I want to be somewhere new where no one knows me so I don’t have to feel like I’m always looking over my shoulder.”
Now that he’s here, I realize that would be a better dream if I could have it with Logan. There we could just be two people who met and fell in love. I yearn for that, I would love that, much as I’m excited for the new adventure I would much rather do it with him than alone… but I can’t ask him to give up the life that he has here. His roots are dug much deeper than mine.
“I can’t lose you.” All of a sudden, Logan starts sobbing and he collapses to his knees as if in shock. “I can’t lose you, Pru, I can’t. I don’t want to do my life without you.” I remain silent because I don’t know what he expects me to say to that. “I can’t imagine going through the rest of my life without you. Pru, you are everything to me. I need you. Please…” He glances up at me, looking at me with wet, sad eyes. “Please, let me come with you. I want to start again too.”
My heart lifts and dances with excitement, but I know that I cannot agree. “No, Logan, you can’t come with me. I don’t have
a life here and you do. I can’t ask you to leave that for me.”
“I don’t have anything!” he insists while flinging his arms in the air. “I have an apartment that I hate, no job, no friends, no nothing. If you go, I really won’t have anything. This won’t just be for you, it’ll be for myself too. Please, we could go and get my stuff, get into my car and drive there together. It’ll be wonderful, just me and you as it was always meant to be.”
His offer is so tempting it makes my mouth water. If I think about it, the only issue that me and Logan had was other people. If we can eliminate that then there’s no reason why we can’t make this work. I can go back to the girl who has it all, but it can be real, no longer a dream ready to be shredded apart at any given moment. He seems dead serious too, like he really does want this.
“How do I know that you’re serious?” I check. “How do I know that this isn’t just a spur of the moment thing because it isn’t for me. I’ve been working on this for ages, I know it’s what I want.”
Logan unexpectedly reaches into his pocket and he pulls out a small box as if that holds all the answers. “Pru, I brought this in secret a while ago, the moment that I knew I was falling in love with you. I might have told myself that I let go of you, but I haven’t and the proof is in the fact that I’ve been carrying this around with me ever since I first got it, I still want you to have it.”
“What is it?” I ask while leaning forward to get a better look. Nope, it just looks like a small little black box to me, nothing special. That is… until Logan opens it and I get a glimpse of the beautiful small, delicate diamond and silver ring that he has inside. “Logan, what…?”
“Prudence Evans, I’ve wanted to marry you for longer than you know. There’s something very special about you that hooks me in and keeps me there, falling deeper in love with you every single day. I haven’t built many connections in my life, and none as strong as the one that I feel with you.”
My breaths become ragged, I can hardly stand this, it’s all crazily too much. This day has been a roller coaster from start to finish, and it isn’t showing any signs of letting up just yet.
“I want to come to California with you, or wherever the hell I want to go because you are my home, and I want to spend the rest of my life making up for all the mistakes that I’ve made. I want to make you happy, to love you with everything that I’ve got, to really have a future with you. I never wanted to settle down with anyone before, but that’s just because I hadn’t met the right person. But you are that person, and I can’t see a future with anyone else.” He smiles thinly through the tears streaming down his face and I return the expression. My whole body is shaking with happiness, I don’t know what’s going on. “So, while this isn’t exactly the way that I imagined this moment happening, but it’s here now upon us. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”
“Of course I will,” I say without a moment of hesitation. This might be unexpected, but it’s what I want more than anything in the world. “Yes, yes, so many times yes.”
Logan leaps up to kiss me while sliding the ring onto my finger, and as he does I really feel like I’m his for the very first time. He’s claimed me now with this ring, which solidifies an actual, real life future for us together. All of a sudden, my life in California feels even brighter with the love of my life by my side. We can finally just be happy, which is all we’ve ever wanted.
I leap up and I wrap my legs around Logan’s waist as a powerful bolt of sexual desire hits me in the core. I’m engaged now, Logan’s fiancée and I want to have some fun with that. While I’m wrapped around him, I can feel Logan growing excited too, which only fires me up even more.
“Oh, Logan,” I moan into his mouth as I slide back down to the ground with a wicked idea playing through my mind. “I think that it’s my turn to be on my knees now.”
This isn’t something that I have any experience doing, but I’ve fantasized about it enough times – always with Logan, even when my heart was shattered – to be able to go with my instincts.
I look up at him with desire glazing over my eyes as I unbuckle his trousers and I pull them to the ground, then I pull that incredible erection of his free. I gasp, the wetness pooling in my panties as I look at him. Up this close and personal, he’s even bigger! Huge and hot as hell.
I wrap my lips around him while holding on to his base and slowly drag my head up and down. I keep looking up at him the entire time, wanting to check that I’m doing this right. What feels good to me might not to him and I want to be good for him, I want him to enjoy himself.
Logan tosses his head backwards and his thighs tremble which I assume is a good thing, and as I add my tongue into the mix, flickering it all over him, the groans and moans that fly past his lips seem to spell good news. I use my other hand to cling onto his butt so I can drive him further down my throat, really testing the boundaries of what I can do. I like this, it feels awesome.
“Stop,” Logan eventually gasps, shocking me. “Stop, that’s too good, it’s too much.”
“What do you mean?” I’m hurt, I was enjoying that new experience then.
“I need to be inside you,” Logan gushes while joining me on the floor. “I need to feel you.”
I fall onto my back feeling like I might explode while Logan tugs my panties to one side and he slides into me. He’s so desperate to connect with me that he cannot wait for even a second. It turns me on so much that I can do that to him, my walls clamp around him and claim his as mine.
I wrap my legs around his back and drive him in deeper and deeper to hit every spot inside of me, my head spinning and the heat building inside of me. As we make love for the first time in what feels like forever, I glance down at my ring as the pleasure comes for me. I’m not alone, we’re together in this, and the future that we share together is going to be utterly incredible. We’ve already been through so much to know that we can survive it all now. We really can take on the world.
“Oh fuck, Logan!” Finally, the orgasm crashes over me like a tsunami of waves that won’t stop coming. My hips buck, my body shudders and trembles, I completely fall apart in Logan’s arms but there isn’t anywhere else in the world that I would rather be than with him right now.
“Oh, Pru,” he gushes as he comes with me. “I love you, I love you so much.”
I am never going to get tired of hearing those words, as long as we both shall live.
Chapter Twenty Nine – Logan
I never ever would have thought about moving to California had it not been for Pru, but it’s the best thing that I’ve ever done in my life. I absolutely love it. The sunshine, the more laid back lifestyle, the people… it’s simply amazing. I’m like a different, much happier and less stressed version of myself here. I never thought that I could be anyone except the therapist at the children’s center in New York city who sleeps around and drinks a lot… but the person that I am today is totally different and I adore who I’ve become. Who being with Pru has made it, it simply proves what I already know, that we are more than meant to be together.
“So, do you like this store?” she asks with a grin. “Do you think it’ll work for us?”
I also didn’t ever think that I would be the sort of man to run my own business, but with Pru by my side it feels easy. She has this unique way of viewing the world and it makes her a very creative person. Since we live near the ocean side she had this idea to create a company that sells creative projects from local artists – herself included in that, she’s extremely good with crafts – and also a place where we can run charitable events. It allows me to continue on with helping people in a different way. I’m very excited about it actually, I have a whole lot of enthusiasm for it.
“I love it. It’s in a really great position and it’s got a great window space.”
“Oh I know.” She claps her hands together with glee. “I can already picture it now.”
Pru looks very different from the young lady who left the center
over a year ago. Now her pale skin is tanned and freckly, her eyes seem sparkly and happier, her hips are curvier, and her light wavy hair tumbles down her back. She carries a confidence with her too which wasn’t there before, she doesn’t ever get shy around anyone. She even tells people how she feels if she doesn’t like how they’re acting which is a massive turn around for her. I couldn’t be prouder. Now that Pru has actually dealt with the after effects of her parents’ deaths – in particular her fathers’ – she’s doing much better. I’m so glad that I’ve been through this journey with her.
“So, what are your plans for tonight?” I ask Pru, hoping that I sound innocent enough. “Are you headed out with Rosie and the girls or are you planning a quiet one in?”
The group of friends that Pru has now are incredible. I can tell that she doesn’t feel out of her depth with them the way that she did with the girls in New York. I know that she still keeps in touch with Alice now and again, but these ones are much more suitable for her. All supportive and kind, generous and sweet, always with her best interests at heart. And their social lives don’t revolve around drinking, which is always a positive. Pru needs that, it’s much better for her.
“No, I haven’t made any plans. Why has Freddie been on at you to go out?”
That’s one of the more significant changes, I think. I actually have a big group of friends of my own. I haven’t been the same closed off guy I once was and it’s paid off massively. I finally have people that I can confide in about anything, and I have to say it feels incredible.
“No, no, I just thought that maybe you and I could have a date night. A dinner, or something.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull Pru in for a kiss. I’m hoping that I can distract her from my real purpose by showering her in romance. This is something that I’ve managed to keep a secret for months, I don’t want to blow it now. If I can pull this off it’ll be best shock ever.