“I’ve realized that you’re not the right woman for me, and I don’t want to string you along or use you,” I told her and Noelle’s brows crossed, her lips were still parted and she was breathing heavily through her nose.
“I’m not the right woman for you?” she asked, and I stared back at her, daring her to disagree with me.
“What is wrong with me? Who is the right kind of woman for you, Tank?” she barked, her voice rising in the silence and stillness of the early morning.
I breathed in deeply, and as much as it hurt me to do it, I shrugged my shoulders in response.
“I don’t believe this, this can’t actually be happening…we barely started to get to know each other, and now you’re breaking up with me?” she cried, and I could see tears glistening in her eyes.
My instinct was to pull her into my arms, to protect her and keep her safe by keeping her there in my arms. But that wasn’t practical, and it was never going to work. The only real way by which I could keep her safe was by pushing her away.
“Fuck you!” she hissed and then turning on her heels, she charged up the steps to the door of her building. I watched her go, her ample ass swinging in her tight dress. I wanted her again, the moment my gaze fell on her body, I wanted her…but this was the right thing to do. She was going to be safe from today.
The DKs would lose interest in her when they realized that I wasn’t seeing her anymore. That they wouldn’t be able to use her as leverage against me.
I heard the door slam as she stormed into the building.
I waited a few more moments on my bike, staring up at the windows, wondering which one was hers. Then eventually, when there was no doubt in my mind that Noelle was safely inside her home, I drove off.
I was gripping the gears too tightly as I rode and I knew I had to get to the Rusty Pelican. It was too early to call Church, but I knew that Axel was usually always there because he was an early riser.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Noelle, and what I had just given up, how much I had hurt her in the span of one hour. But by hurting her and myself now, I was going to save her life, and that was what mattered.
CHAPTER 12
Noelle
I shouldn’t have dropped the L word. Now I was convinced that it was what had caused the change in Tank’s mind about me.
I stood by the window of my apartment for a few more minutes, watching the empty space that Tank and his bike had left behind. Surprisingly, even though he had just dumped me, he had waited there till I was inside my apartment before he rode off.
I jerked away from the window, rushing to my couch so I could crash into it. I didn’t care how ruined my dress was, or the fact that I needed to shower and change and leave for my shift at the hospital. All I cared about was how stupid I had been.
I had used the L word too soon. Even though I hadn’t exactly declared my love for him, I had asked him to make love to me. I should have known, that a request like that would have a man like him, running in the opposite direction. I barely knew him. We were sleeping together. Our time together was supposed to be fun and casual, and I had dropped a bomb on him in the middle of that.
Of course, he thought I wasn’t the right kind of woman for him. No matter how sweet and polite he was with me, it was foolish of me to assume that Tank wanted to keep me safe, that he wanted to take care of me.
I screamed into the cushion on my couch, muffling my voice with it. I should have followed the things my parents had taught me, I should have followed my mind…instead, I had followed my heart.
Everything about Tank had signaled that he was going to be the wrong man for me, that he was good at breaking hearts. I should have known that he wanted nothing more from me than my body and when he had that, he was just going to leave me.
The previous night had been magical, and I was foolish enough to believe in that sort of magic. At the restaurant and then at his apartment after we had sex, we had talked. Even though Tank had needed some coaxing and cajoling, he had finally opened up.
Underneath that tough masculine biker exterior, I had discovered a man who had simple needs, and a good heart. That was the impression I had got, and it had made me fall for him harder. To me, as hot as Tank was, he was more than just a hunk of meat. He was a man I was capable of falling in love with, someone I could immediately see returning home to, to waking up beside every morning.
And we’d had that, even if it was only for a few hours…I had experienced waking up in his hours and making love.
That thought reminded me again of what I had said.
Tank, will you make love to me?
I screeched into the cushion again, embarrassed and angry about what I had said. How could I have expected Tank to understand? Why did I think that he was feeling the same way about me, as I was about him? I had no doubts that Tank was well experienced with women. Hell, I knew for certain that no hot blooded woman would be able to resist fantasizing about him if they laid eyes on him. He exuded sex and masculinity and being good in bed. His silence added to his strength and charm, and I knew he could have any woman he wanted.
So, why had I been foolish enough to assume that he had wanted me? That he had wanted me for anything more than as a sex toy for one night? And then I had said something as stupid as using the word “love,” with a guy I barely knew.
I jumped off the couch and rushed into my bedroom, where I stripped myself of all my clothes. They smelt of Tank, and I felt my heart weaken as I was surrounded by the smell of Tank and the feel of his hands on my bare skin.
I could feel my pussy quiver from the memory of the way he had laid on top of me, thrusting his cock inside me. The way he was capable of making me come quicker than I had ever imagined possible.
I could feel hot tears pricking the backs of my eyelids as I rushed into the shower.
I stood under the piping hot water, hoping that it would wash away any trace of Tank off my body, but I could still feel him. I could still hear his voice ringing in my ears.
You are not the right woman for me.
He had said that so confidently, unbothered by how those words would affect me. I had been so foolish to expect him to be any different. He had fit the stereotype of the bad boy very well. The kind of guy my mother had always warned me about. There was no point in relying on like a man like him because he would only break your heart.
I patted myself dry with a fresh towel when I stepped out of the shower, and I tried to remind myself that this had been for the best.
Better sooner than later, right? At least now, I wouldn’t have that many broken pieces to pick up, instead of later, when I had fallen completely and madly in love with him, and then a breakup like this would have the potential of ruining my life entirely.
Instead, now, I could try just patting myself dry and moving on. My only hope was that I could get busy with work, and hopefully in a few days, maybe a few weeks, I could forget that I had even met a guy called Aiden Gowan who belonged to a motorcycle club. Or that he had mended and broken my heart in the span of five days.
CHAPTER 13
Tank
I could feel the rage coursing through my veins as I parked my bike outside the Rusty Pelican. I had somehow managed to convince myself that I had done the right thing by pushing Noelle away, but it didn’t stop me from hurting.
Even though we had just one night of being together, it still felt like someone had ripped my heart and lungs and gut right out of my body. She meant something to me, this woman. I could feel it in my bones.
I had seen the look on Noelle’s face when I said what I said to her. She was shocked and hurt, and I hoped now that she would never want to see me again. I was going to stay away from her, and if she kept her distance from me; then I knew that she would be safe. It was the only way I knew how to keep her safe.
Saying that she wasn’t the right woman for me was a lie.
If Noelle Peters wasn’t the right woman for me, then nobody could possibly be. No woman
had come close to making me feel the way she had, in the span of just a few days. And now she was gone from my life, so there was going to be no way that I could find that kind of happiness again. The kind I had found this morning when I had woken up to her by my side.
I burst through the doors of the bar and found Gunner sitting on a stool. He seemed to be working on something, and he looked up at me when I walked in. The bar was empty this early in the morning, just as I was hoping it would be.
He smiled at me at first, and then realized quickly enough that I wasn’t in the mood to smile back.
“Brother! Good to see you here again,” he swiveled around on the stool to face me, and I had no other choice but to stop in my tracks. I just wanted to speak to Axel and be gone. I needed time to myself to figure out everything I was feeling for Noelle.
“Good to be back,” I mumbled, and he crossed his brows at me.
“What’s going on with you? Are you still in pain, man?” Gunner asked, and I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Yeah, I was in pain, but not the kind that he was talking about. I didn’t even remember that I’d been shot, that was the effect that Noelle had on me. The pain I was feeling had nothing to do with being shot, and all to do about Noelle. It was the kind of pain that I wasn’t ready to discuss with people, not even my best friends.
“No, I’m fine. Is Axel in?” I asked him, and he tipped his head in the direction of the back office.
“He has me working on the last shipment’s accounts,” Gunner said with a slight laugh and held up the papers in his hands. I stifled a laugh. Gunner was great at organizing shipments, but he wasn’t much of an accountant.
“I hope you aren’t dealing with any numbers. Otherwise, we are in a whole hell of a lot of trouble.”
Gunner laughed. “No, I’m just organizing everything so we know what we have so we can decide what we need to keep and what we need to sell off. Axle is in the back.”
“I need to speak to him,” I said and started walking in the direction of the office. At the door, I turned to Gunner again, who was still watching me.
“You coming in?” I asked him, and he nodded his head and jumped off the stool to follow me in.
I knocked on the door once and heard Axel’s voice, commanding us to come in.
He was sitting behind his desk with his glasses on and going through some papers.
“Tank!” he declared, when he saw me, and he sat back in his chair and squared his shoulders.
Gunner and I filed into the office, taking up our usual positions across from Axel’s desk.
“You look well, son,” Axel commented, and I tipped my head once in acknowledgment.
“Your brothers made the right decision to take you to the hospital when they did. Everything went smoothly there?” Axel continued, and I nodded my head.
When I hadn’t said anything, Axel looked at me and then at Gunner expectantly.
“Is something on your mind, Tank?” he asked, and I clenched my jaw and drew in a deep breath.
“The Dragon Knights have been tailing me,” I said, and Axel knotted his brows and sat forward in his chair.
“Have they confronted you?” he asked, and my biceps flexed as I clenched and unclenched my fists. They had put Noelle’s life in danger.
“They followed me last night when I went out, and this morning they threw a brick through my window. This note was stuck to it,” I told Axel and taking the piece of paper out of my pocket, I placed it on his desk.
Axel read the message, twice or three times…and then looked up at Gunner and me.
“They’re after you,” he grumbled deeply.
“They want to finish what they started,” I supplied and beside me, I could sense Gunner’s rage building up.
“Mother fuckers,” he cursed under his breath. Axel stared at us again, and I glared back at him.
“I want to plan a retaliation. Get them before they get us,” I said, keeping my voice steady. Neither Axel nor Gunner needed to know what my motivation was, that I wanted them gone because they had tailed Noelle along with me. That I wanted to make sure that nobody ever touched her.
Axel sat back in his chair and drew in a deep breath. Then he nodded his head slowly.
“Yes, you’re right. We can’t sit back and wait for them to strike anymore. Especially now that you apparently have a target on your back. Tank, you plan a retaliation and Gunner, and your brothers will work with you on it,” Axel said. “If you need any backup, let me know.”
I nodded my head and turned and marched out of the room without another word. Gunner followed me.
“Tank!” he called after me as he saw me walking out of the bar. I was in no mood to talk. I had said what I came here to say and now I needed to be left alone. Otherwise, I was bound to punch someone.
“Tank!” he called again, by now I had walked to my bike, and he was standing at the doors of the Rusty Pelican.
“I’m fine,” I said to him as I got on my bike. It was a lie.
CHAPTER 14
Two Months Later
Noelle
I had barely dropped my purse to the floor, after a twelve-hour shift at the hospital, when my cell phone rang, and I saw that it was my mom calling.
“Noelle! You haven’t been answering our calls for days!” she barked into the phone, and rolling my eyes, I plonked myself down on the couch. I lifted my feet up and tried to make myself comfortable, aware that my body could only take so much. Very soon, I would have to just acknowledge what my body needed.
“I’ve been busy mom. I’ve been working twelve-hour shifts for the past two weeks,” I told her and mom didn’t sound too pleased with that information.
“Twelve-hour shifts! Why on God’s Earth would you do that to yourself, darling?” she asked, and I pressed my eyes closed and imagined what I could have said to her…if it was possible to tell her the truth.
The truth that three weeks ago, I’d woken up throwing up and a craving for chocolate peanut butter cups. The truth that, after I’d thrown up for the third time that afternoon I’d taken eleven pregnancy tests, all of which had returned as positive. The truth that I’d taken two days sick leave from work, to visit my gynecologist and also to lock myself in the apartment and come up with some sort of plan, and figure out what I really wanted to do. The truth that I was working twelve-hour shifts now…for as long as I could because, in a few months, I would have to go on maternity leave and would need money to sustain myself and my child.
There was no way I could tell her all of that. Not now. She would never understand why I wanted to keep the baby, or how I don’t speak to the father anymore. The news would have to be broken to my parents as gently as possible.
“I need the money, mom,” I told her instead, and I heard her huff.
“You can ask your father for money…you know that! There is no need to tire yourself out like this. We haven’t seen you in days!” she continued, and I tried not to snap at her. If she knew what was actually happening to me, there was a good chance that my father would refuse to ever lend me any money.
Their precious only child, for whom they had big hopes and dreams…now pregnant out of wedlock, carrying the baby of a man she hasn’t seen in two months and possibly will never see again! My parents would not only be devastated, but they would also be enraged.
“I don’t need dad’s money, mom. I have a job,” I replied, trying to sound as calm as possible. The last thing I wanted right now, was an argument with my mother over money.
“We can talk about it when we see you tonight, Noelle,” she said, and I sat up on the couch.
“See me tonight? What’s tonight?” I was quick to ask, but mom was in no hurry to illuminate me.
“Oh…you know, your father’s booked our usual table at the Club…we haven’t seen you in ages, darling, and we were hoping that we could all have dinner together,” she said, and I was already trying to come up excuses for why I couldn’t make it. I was pregnant, for one!
/> “And darling, wear something nice tonight will you? No jeans or sneakers or things like that,” mom continued, without giving me a chance to respond.
“Mom I…” I began to say, but she interrupted me again.
“We’ve invited the Robinsons to join us for dinner tonight, Damien will be coming, and you two should try spending some time alone together tonight and see how you get on,” mom sounded excited as she spoke, while my heart was ready to beat out of my chest.
Here, my parents were trying to set me up for marriage with a man they had handpicked, while I was pregnant and carrying the child of a biker. And not just any biker. A biker who belonged to a gang. I could feel panic start to form in my chest.
I stood up from the couch and ran a hand nervously through my hair.
“Maybe wear that beautiful fawn colored silk dress I bought you for your birthday? It looks lovely with your hair. And keep your hair down, darling…” mom continued, fear coursed through my veins and I knew I had to stop her. There was no way I could face my parents.
“I can’t tonight, mom,” I said, feeling the guilt rising quickly inside me.
“What do you mean you can’t? Of course, you can. We have it all planned out. You don’t have to wear that dress if you don’t want to,” she said, and I could hear the sharpness in her voice.
“It’s not about the dress mom, I just can’t make it tonight. I wish you’d told me earlier. I have plans…work plans…with colleagues. It’s important that I go…I can’t just cancel it right now,” I said, trying to sound as apologetic as I could.
“But what about the Robinsons? Damien stated that he was looking forward to meeting you. Noelle, this is most rude,” she barked, and I took in a deep breath, and my hand instinctively traveled to my belly. I had been pregnant for eight weeks now, very soon, I would start showing, and then I wouldn’t be able to hide it from my parents anymore. Would they be ashamed? Embarrassed? Angry? I needed to start standing up to my parents for once and for all. I mustered as much courage as I could into my voice.
Fox (The Road Rebels MC Book 4) Page 35