“What if we got you a new space heater? Would you use it?” he asked.
“I don’t need you to do that. On nights like this, I keep Whit in bed with me so he’s plenty warm. We do just fine together.”
He let a breath out and said, “There’s nothing wrong with accepting a little help if needed, you know?”
Holding Whit against her shoulder, she looked at him again and he saw that trace of fire in her eyes that exhaustion couldn’t dim. “There is if you’re the spoiled and entitled daughter of one of this town’s leading businessmen. I can take care of myself and my son.”
Kendry held up his hands. “Whoa, now. We’re not trying to give you a handout or charity. We care about you, both of you, and we just want to help make you more comfortable.”
Her dark blonde brows knit together as she nuzzled Whit’s cheek, and then she said, “I don’t understand why. I think if you knew me a year ago you wouldn’t feel the same. You think I’m exaggerating but ask your coworkers, Robert, the one who checked Whit out, and Martin, the one who gave me my shoe. I dated them but never even knew where they worked. They probably can’t wait to tell you what I was like when you get back.”
Kendry shook his head. “Everyone deserves a second chance and we could care less about what Robert or Martin think or say. Besides, they already knew we were interested in you and they never said one word to us. I don’t think you give yourself or them enough credit.”
“Guys, I’m a mess. A new single mom. I have little free time, and what free time I do have is about to get even tighter,” she said gesturing to the box containing the machine. “I’m not worth your time, and I’m…”
“You’re what?”
Frowning again, she firmed her lips and said, “I’m afraid that you’ll have this dawning moment, where it finally sinks in that I’m like the town pariah, an outcast by my own actions, and you’ll finally wash your hands of me right about the time I—” She clamped her lips shut and shook her head.
Right about the time you fall in love with us?
“Finish what you were about to say, kitten,” Jared said, closing the distance between them. Up close, he could see the way her chin trembled as she held Whit and swayed him comfortingly, probably without even realizing it.
“You deserve to have a woman in your life who doesn’t come with as much baggage as I do.”
“Even if you’re what we want? However you come?” Kendry asked as he lifted a fluffy blanket from her rocker and wrapped it around her and the baby. “Since the night we first laid eyes on you in the Dancing Pony, you’ve been on our minds, in our thoughts.”
Presley Ann gave a dry chuckle but Jared could see the way her eyes grew shiny. “Even several months pregnant? Why?” Her tone clearly suggested she thought they were crazy, but he could see the vulnerability in her eyes.
Jared let out a breath and rolled his tight shoulders. “Why? Believe it or not, the fact that you were pregnant wasn’t the first thing either of us noticed. After Vincent introduced us, you talked to us and asked us questions that had nothing to do with whether we were already taken, or if we had money, or status. You were just…you. Expecting to go unnoticed by us would be like expecting us to not notice the sun on a cloudless day. Even if I was blind I’d still feel the warmth. People around here may remember you from your growing up years—or whatever—but we know you for who you really are. Whether that growing up took you a few extra years or not is inconsequential to us.”
“You can say that only because you weren’t around for any of those years. I was horrible. I don’t deserve…”
Kendry shook his head as he touched the spot on his chest where his surgical scar was located. “Don’t say you don’t deserve to be happy. There was a point where I thought my time finally had run out and I’d never have the chance—” He looked toward the door, clearly trying to control his emotions. “Sorry. Sometimes you don’t need a lot of time to “know” things. I think Leah and the guys would agree.”
She seemed to give that some thought, and Jared could almost hear the gears turning in her head. He knew from listening to Leah talk about Patterson the day they’d met her, that she’d regretted never sharing with Patterson how she really felt about him. He didn’t feel especially noble about it, but he’d use every vehicle he could to demonstrate that maybe she should trust them and take the chance they were offering her.
“I have to prove my Aunt Dorothy wrong, and everyone else in this town that looks down on me or thinks I’ll give up.”
“Your pride? Really?” Jared posed the question in a soft tone, not wanting to offend her.
He could see the pleading in her eyes as she said, “Someone, or something, has always been there to catch me when I fall, Jared. My dad. My sister. Shopping. Other…men.” She gulped and the sound was loud in the room. “I’ve got to prove this to myself. It’s not that I care so much what other people think. I need to know I can make this work on my own.”
Kendry crossed his arms over his chest. “And what if we’re just around, watching you work through this, worrying about things like what happened tonight when hardly anyone knew you were even on the road? We’re not allowing harm to come to you and we’re not hiding our concern from you.”
“I don’t expect that, Kendry.” Even as she said it, the way she held the baby made him think she was hiding.
Jared said, “I respect you for wanting to prove you can do this, for yourself and for everyone else, but there’s going to come a point where the satisfaction of proving them wrong won’t keep you warm at night. I admire your spunk. Just know that while you’re proving you can do it, we’ll be proving we have staying power. Okay?”
She drew breath to speak and then stopped. Finally she said, “What do you want?”
Kendry brushed a lock of hair over her shoulder and said, “I think the real question—the one with the lasting answer—the answer we care about, is what do you really want?”
Presley Ann didn’t hesitate this time. “I just want to survive the next few months with all my sanity intact. You’re interested in romance with me? You must be crazy,” she said while shaking her head, and they all laughed. At least she was honest. “And didn’t you say that you couldn’t spend time over here if you were on duty? I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
Kendry held up his phone. “They can page us if there’s an emergency call. Looks like Whit’s asleep. Why don’t you put him in his crib for now and let us warm you up.” Jared knew Kendry could’ve clarified that statement but he didn’t bother, and Jared closed his eyes as the sense of need for her washed through him without resistance. When he opened his eyes, he saw the flush in her cheeks and her shaky draw of breath as she turned and nestled Whit into his crib.
Jared sat on the edge of her bed and gestured for her to take a seat in the rocker across from him. Kendry sat next to him as she settled in the rocker and whispered, “Why are you doing this? A warm shower is all I need.”
Jared lifted one of her cold ankles and slid the muddy wet shoe off and cradled her little foot in his hands. “Because we need this, kitten.”
“If you really knew me you wouldn’t think I’m much of a ‘kitten’ or anything else sweet, cuddly, and likable like that. You really don’t want to spend time with—”
Jared did the one thing that would distract her from saying such negative things about herself. He kissed her. Her soft squeal was muffled against his lips and her blue eyes flashed open wide before her eyelids slowly slid closed. He pulled back as she relaxed into the rocker and blinked up at him.
Kendry removed the other shoe and wrapped his hands around her foot, mirroring Jared’s actions. “We do, Presley Ann. We respect your need to provide for Whit, and to be independent. To see you succeed in your endeavor—” he said, pointing at the box containing the industrial sewing machine. “We want all those things for you. But we also want you. You refuse to believe that we want you, which is why you keep questioning why.”
&n
bsp; “I don’t.”
Jared manipulated her ankle and her foot as he rubbed it, satisfied when it warmed up a bit. “You do. Answer me honestly. Are you punishing yourself?”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed and he handed her the bottle of water he’d placed on her night table for her earlier while she’d bathed Whit. Her lips parted as if she intended to speak but then closed them.
“Do you think by denying yourself personal happiness that you somehow balance the scales for all the wrong you think you’ve done?”
After taking a long drink from the bottle, she set it aside and then looked down at her pale hands and shrugged. “Maybe.” She looked at her son, asleep in his crib and then turned her blue gaze on both of them. “Months ago, I went to Grace and Lydia and several of the others and asked them to forgive me and they did, but…” She swallowed again and put her hands to her red cheeks. “Because of my selfishness, Whit’s father isn’t in his life. I can’t ever make up for that. The least I can do is give him the best possible mom I can, focused on his needs and taking care of him.”
Jared lowered her foot to the floor and Kendry followed suit. Jared reached out to grip the frame of the rocker seat. He slid her closer to them across the carpet until she was less than a foot from them. “What if we want to help make that happen?”
“Why would you? He’s another man’s child.”
Kendry stroked her cheek and leaned to within just a few inches of her. “Because he’s a part of you.”
“And what happens when things go sour between us? When he’s emotionally attached to you the way he would to a father figure? What then, Kendry?”
“You’re already planning on things going sour?” Jared asked huskily, hating the thought.
“I have to be prepared, Jared. He’s my responsibility, but you’ll be able to just walk away.” The way her voice caught on the last word tugged at his protective instincts.
Shaking his head, Jared cupped the back of her silky head. “The only way I’m walking away is if you make me, honey. None of this has been easy for us but it’s all been worth it, just to get to be around you. I want you so much sometimes it’s hard to breathe when I’m in your presence. The thought of walking away from you makes me feel as though I’ve been kicked in the gut. I’m not interested in a casual relationship with you. No friends with benefits. We’ve respected your boundaries and understood your issues, but all I see now is a woman punishing herself for every human error she’s ever committed.”
Wringing her hands together, she said, “I just want to save us all a lot of misery.”
Kendry took her hand in his and said, “Are you planning on giving Whit up to that couple who wanted him? To save him from the hardship of living with you?”
Her jaw dropped and she nearly blurted out her response but modulated her tone. “No!”
Kendry soothed her with a hand on her knee and said, “Because the moment you laid eyes on him you knew he was yours, right?” She pulled in a sharp breath and then nodded and looked up at him and then at Jared.
Kendry said, “Don’t try to ‘save us’ by cutting us out of your life just on the possibility that what we have might not work out. We’re not wasting your time here, Presley Ann. If we wanted fuck buddies we could find them. Despite what you say about the girl you once were, we know you for the woman you are. And if you saw yourself the same way we see you, there would be no question of why we would want to be with you. It’d be obvious.”
Jared glanced at his watch and said, “Kitten, not to change the subject, but if you’d like, we can watch over Whit while you take your shower. We don’t want you to feel put on the spot or like you have to make a decision, but I’d rather you were a little more warmed up before we left.”
Biting her lip, she looked at them and then giggled. “I think you need to give yourself more credit, Jared. My feet are nice and warm.” Her cheeks turned an even brighter shade of pink and she pushed the rocker back so she could rise from it. “While I was in San Antonio I met a shop owner. She’s waiting on me to get in touch with her about items she’d like me to make for her shops. There are pictures on your phone that I need you to send to my e-mail address. And…” She fiddled with the hem of her blouse and reached for her purse.
“And what?”
“Um…you had a call. I answered it.”
“From who?”
Presley Ann winced and said, “Jasmine.”
“Shit. What did she say to you?”
Presley Ann pressed her lips together. “I can’t remember her exact words but it was something along the lines of ‘tell that cocksucking bastard he better call me.’ And she seemed to think I was fucking you—no, wait—you were fucking me.” She bit her lip and her eyes twinkled. He didn’t think it was all that funny.
“And what did you say?”
She shrugged as she dug in her purse and mumbled, “I might’ve told her that if I was fucking you I would’ve taken better care of you so you wouldn’t want to move away…or something like that. It was the heat of the moment and you know my memory isn’t the best.”
Kendry snorted and his shoulders shook with amusement. “I’ll bet that calmed Jasmine right down.”
“I don’t know,” she said as she turned and held out Jared’s phone to him. “I hung up on her after I said it. I’m sorry.” She didn’t look sorry at all. That he did find amusing.
“It’s not your fault that up until now I’ve had bad luck with women.” Picturing Jasmine made him think he had really bad luck.
“Up until now, huh?”
“Yeah, things are looking up here lately.”
Her only reply was a grin as she held out his phone. “You can have this back.”
“Were there any other calls?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. She shook her head. He folded her hand back over it and said, “You can keep it until you get your phone replaced.”
“I’m handling that in the morning. You don’t need to do that, and what if you get more calls?”
“You need to have a way to reach out in an emergency.” He placed his other hand over hers and said, “Jasmine is an ex. Since you talked to her, you can imagine why she’s an ex. She’s crazy.”
Presley Ann nodded. “She mentioned brothers.”
Jared rolled his eyes. He could almost hear Jasmine ranting. “I’m sorry about that. I broke up with her for cheating on me. I’ll tell you about it sometime but not while you’re standing here still shivering.”
“So you’re not worried about Jasmine’s brothers showing up at your door?”
Kendry laughed. “Only whether or not we had enough food and beer in the house. If they decided to follow through, it’d be because they miss our big-assed flat screen television.” Jared laughed with him and Presley Ann looked mildly reassured.
Jared said, “They know Jasmine is crazy, too.”
With a chuckle, Kendry said, “Maybe we should leave my phone with her since I don’t have any exes—crazy or otherwise—hmm? My phone is comparatively boring due to that whole needing-a-new-heart-and-having-no-life thing.”
“No exes?” Presley Ann asked as she dug through drawers, presumably getting out pajamas.
“I’ve dated here and there but nothing serious, like Mr. Love-’em-and-Leave-’em, here.”
She pointed toward the bathroom and said, “I’ll make this quick. I appreciate you staying a few minutes. Whit seems restless.”
As soon as the shower started, Whit lifted his head from the mattress and whimpered.
“Should we pick him up?” Kendry asked, without waiting for an answer as he went ahead and did so. “I don’t want him to get worked up.”
“You know what Felicia would say? I can almost hear her now. ‘You pick that baby up every time he whimpers and he’ll expect to be held all the time.’”
“If she was here she’d deal with it. She’s not, though. Little Whit-Man here needs a cuddle.”
Whit scrunched up his little brow and his head bobbed as
he looked at Kendry. After studying him, he let his head flop to Kendry’s chest, where he heaved a sigh and settled down again.
Kendry grinned and gestured grandly. “See? Magic.”
Kendry cuddled Whit and whispered to him as he bobbed in place. Whit lifted a hand as he looked up at him and Kendry grinned like a fool and high-fived him very gently. “You gotta chill for your mama and be a good boy, okay?” It was clear from his tone of voice the guy was getting attached. Jared shared the sentiment.
Whit made a tiny warbling sound and when Jared reached for him, Kendry reluctantly handed him over and said, “Don’t scare him with that big mug of yours.”
When Presley Ann came out a few minutes later, a fragrant cloud of vanilla mixed with flowers filled the room. She was wrapped up in her heavy robe and the hint of a long pink nightgown peeked out between edges of the hem as she walked but she had the robe completely closed and belted. He imagined winning her trust and peeling the robe with Kendry’s help, revealing what she wore and the sweet silky skin beneath. The wave of longing rippled through him like a shot of whiskey.
She rubbed her damp hair with her towel and said, “Uh-oh. I thought he might do that.”
“Need to dry your hair?” Jared said as he swayed with Whit. The little boy looked tiny wrapped up in his arms.
“Nah, I can put him in his crib and do that. I know you need to get back to the firehouse. I don’t want you to be in trouble with the chief for taking too long over here, or get your coworkers gossiping. I was thinking about what you said while I was in the shower.”
“Yeah?” Kendry asked as he came to her.
She asked, “What did you want to do? Go out on dates? Like boyfriend girlfriend stuff?”
Jared smiled and was a little surprised as the knot of tension inside him let go. “For starters.”
Her gaze jumped between them and she nodded. “I could do that. But could we include Whit sometimes? I’m not quite ready to leave him with a sitter at night. I’ll need to start doing that soon enough during the day when I go back to work.”
Absentminded Angel [Divine Creek Ranch 20] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 7