by Mark Gessner
Judi ordered a catfish basket and an ice-cold I.B.C. Root Beer. The order-taker, who couldn't have been more than eighteen, wore a black push-up bra under an unbuttoned loose-knit top, a dog's choke chain around her neck and a pierced eyebrow under a buzz-cut dyed a fluorescent orange that could never have occurred in nature. "Keep Austin Weird" was the marketing slogan these days. Some took it more personally than others. Kurt ordered a chicken fried steak and a root beer as well. He paid cash for the meal and dropped a couple bucks into the tip jar. He always tipped extra if the waitress or order taker looked hot. Even more if she looked slutty.
They took their drinks to an empty table. A three-piece Cajun band played out in the gravel room, but they wanted to be able to talk, so they grabbed a table for two in the corner of the main dining room. You could still hear the music, but it wasn't so loud to prevent conversation. The main dining room only had about eight tables in it. Each table had a roll of paper towels on a stand in the middle, and a basket full of various hot sauces and spiced vinegars.
"Not a beer drinker?" asked Kurt.
"Sometimes I'll have a beer," replied Judi. "every once in awhile. How about you?"
"Yeah, every once in awhile, I'm not much of a drinker," he replied, then gestured toward the fishing décor, "How about this place, you ever come here?"
"I've driven by a couple times, never stopped in though. How about you?" she asked.
"I come in here pretty much every week. They know me by name. Most times I don't even have to order, they just ask if I want 'the usual.' I even hid a cache here, just outside."
"You're kidding. Did they let you?" she asked, looking around.
"Sure, the manager thought it was cute. She told me last week it brings in a few extra customers a week." he said.
"Where is it, in here?" she asked.
"It's outside. You want to find it or you want me to tell you?" he asked.
Judi didn't want help. Kurt handed her his keys. She went out to his truck, retrieved his GPS from the dash, and began searching around outside the restaurant.
Ten minutes later, the dog-chain girl barked Kurt's name into the microphone. He couldn't remember there being such hot-looking 'girls gone wild' when he was young and on the prowl. Maybe he just hung out with a tamer crowd.
He'd spent most of the last ten minutes watching Judi through the windows. She'd look alternately down at the GPS and then up at the building. She'd crouch down, then reach up on tip-toes to try to see if it was hidden behind the décor on the outside walls. Kurt didn't feel one bit guilty for checking out her body during the whole exercise. Through the tight jeans and polo shirt he could tell she was built.
The receiver had led her from the front of the building, around to the side, then toward the dumpster at the back, and then back up to the front again. Judi didn't know it, but the building and surrounding trees were confusing her GPS signal.
Kurt had hidden the cache inside a painted wooden fish hanging on the fence just outside the side door. There were a dozen similar fish mounted to the walls of the dining room, inside and out, so it really blended in. He'd hollowed out the fish, and it had just enough room inside for a mint tin. A small logbook, a half-pen, and maybe a few coins were all that could fit inside the tin, but still it qualified as a geocache.
"Do you give up yet?" he asked, poking his head out through the side door.
She switched off the GPS receiver and grabbed the door. They both went up to the condiment bar to fill up some tiny paper cups with ketchup, then turned back toward the booth. Bonnie and Jason Heckmann had snuck in and seated themselves in Kurt and Judi's places while the two had their backs turned.
"Mmm-mmm, this looks good!" said Bonnie, who had taken Judi's seat, and was rubbing her hands together in mock anticipation of eating Judi's meal.
"Yeah, tasty. You two picked the best stuff on the menu," said Jason, grasping a plastic fork and knife in each hand, pretending to hijack Kurt's meal, "Bring us some of that ketchup, we're starved."
"Ugh, they'll let anyone eat here, won't they?" said Kurt, to Judi.
"Yes, absolutely no standards. We should go somewhere else, daahling" she replied, feigning a snooty attitude, turning her nose up.
Jason and Bonnie offered to let the two join them at a bigger table. They'd just ordered. They explained that they had come for dinner, saw Judi outside looking for the cache, and thought they'd crash their date and give them a hard time.
"Thanks a lot," said Kurt, pulling out a chair for Judi.
"I didn't find it yet, so don't give it away," said Judi, dropping into the chair that Kurt had pulled out for her. Then quietly, looking up at Kurt, "Thanks."
"We wouldn't dream of it," said Bonnie, sliding her own chair out and sitting in it. "You know," she said, waving a plastic knife toward Jason, "that's the difference between dating and married for eighteen years. This schmuck hasn't pulled out a chair for me in I don't know how long."
"Don't let anyone kid you, Red. Chivalry is overrated," said Jason, kissing Bonnie on the cheek. Bonnie had flame-red hair before it turned gray. She lost the color but kept the personality and the nickname.
Bonnie elbowed Jason in the ribs--hard. "Asshole," she said. If you didn't know them well, you'd think she was serious when she said it. It made Kurt nervous the first few times he heard it, but eventually he figured it was just a joke, a very dry sense of humor. Judi picked up on it right away. Kurt could see that she was smiling at the older couple.
The Heckmann's meals came out in another few minutes, and Jason got up to retrieve them. When he came back, he interrupted, "Hey did you hear about what the Kragers found up at St. Edward's park yesterday?"
"Jason, No!" said Bonnie, "let them finish eating first, have a little common decency."
"Yeah, better wait until we're done eating," said Kurt, wiping up some cream gravy with a piece of Texas Toast. "Otherwise I'll retaliate with a cat hairball story that will make you lose your appetite for a week."
When they'd finished their meal, Jason cleared the empty baskets off the table. When he returned he was ready to tell them about how the Kragers found a dead dog while night caching up in St. Edward's park.
"No way," said Kurt.
"Yes way, Ted." Bonnie had been saying "Yes way, Ted," a line from some cornball eighties movie, as an automatic response to "No Way" for the last fourteen years. It was a testament to the strength of their marriage that Jason hadn't once in all that time attempted to strangle her.
Kurt asked if anyone thought there was any connection to that dead dog they found a couple weeks ago.
"Are you guys sure this sport is entirely safe?" asked Judi.
"Oh yeah, it's no problem," said Jason. "There are hundreds of thousands of caches out there; you're bound to run into a dead animal every once in awhile, it's just the law of averages. We found a deer ribcage on a park cleanup once last year. Some newbie thought it was a human skeleton and called the park police. The park cops had a good laugh when they came out and saw what it was," he explained.
"Yeah and then remember the time we found that rotted purse on another cleanup and it turned out to contain I.D. from a lady that had been missing for two years. We never found out if the bag helped them solve the case, but the police were very thankful. The trail had grown cold," added Bonnie.
"Geocaching saves the day," said Judi, poking fun at them.
"It's not like we're trying to be heroes or anything, but we can do some good. Some folks have found needles and other drug stuff, especially in parks near urban caches," added Jason.
"So what was the deal with the dog?" asked Kurt.
Bonnie said the Kragers thought the dog might have been a stray that coyotes killed. There's a neighborhood at the top of the hill. Someone probably let Fifi out for her evening tinkle; she became a snack. The coyotes just happened to leave her carcass by the trail.
"Still it's pretty creepy," said Judi.
"Especially at night," added Kurt.
&
nbsp; "Welp, we've got to head out to Wally world to buy some caching supplies for the weekend. You kids have fun. Sorry we crashed your date," said Bonnie.
"Oh no, not at all," said Kurt.
"Never an embarrassing silence with Bonnie at the table," said Jason, which prompted another hard elbow in the ribs. "Oof! See you kids later."
Bonnie and Jason headed out the door with Jason rubbing his sore ribs. They got into their truck and drove off. Kurt and Judi cleared their cups and other debris off the table and threw them in the trash. They walked outside and Kurt helped Judi find the cache, using the low-tech warmer / colder technique. She signed the logbook and replaced the cache. Afterward they huddled in the gravel room to listen to some live Cajun music.
They listened to the music for about fifteen minutes, then walked out. You hear three Cajun tunes, you've heard them all. "You want to catch a movie?" asked Kurt, after they'd climbed back into his truck.
"Sure. What's playing?" said Judi.
"I'm not sure, how about we just drive over to the theater and see what's on?" he offered.
"Sounds good to me," she said.
The tear-jerking romantic comedy starred Meg Ryan and a leading man that neither Kurt nor Judi had ever heard of. Kurt had a crush on Meg Ryan when he was in his twenties, but had outgrown her. Lately he favored the new crop of twenty-something blondes, and it was a constant source of apprehension for him to think that he was growing old and Hollywood kept on stamping out plenty of hot young chicks. What really brought it crashing down for him was during a particularly erotic Pepsi commercial when he realized mid-fantasy that he was old enough to be Britney Spears's father. Pretty soon he'd be a really old fart and none of the young ones would have anything to do with him. It wasn't exactly a midlife crisis, but it wasn't far from it either. On the other hand, looking at the bright side, being thirty six, he could reasonably expect to date anywhere from twenty-something (if he kept in shape) up to fifty-something (if she kept in shape).
They'd shared an armrest in the theater as the date movie spun its sappy, teary magic. As the movie got underway, they held hands over the armrest. Before the movie was half over, they lifted the armrest, and Judi snuggled up against Kurt's side, with her head on his shoulder. He had his arm around her, and every once in awhile she'd look up at him and smile.
Kurt walked her up to her apartment on the third floor. He held her hands in the doorway as they said goodbye. Her hands felt warm, despite the cool night air. He leaned down to kiss her, carefully watching for any signal. He was planning to execute a quick kiss, nothing too technical, more than a peck but less than a World Wrestling Federation tonsil pulling match.
Judi had other ideas.
When they were through, his lips were numb and his whole face tingled. Her body felt warm and soft against his, except for her damned pager, which poked him rudely in the hip again. He found himself unable to speak, and when she looked in his eyes, his brain went blank and his knees threatened to collapse. He grabbed the metal railing on the landing for support. With her electric green eyes, her auburn hair blowing lightly in the cool wind, her well-proportioned body, Judi was the most beautiful woman in Kurt's world. No twenty-something Hollywood brat could ever hope to match the intensity of that first kiss. A kiss like that came only with maturity, confidence, and experience. He found himself hoping she'd invite him in. He knew it was as good as signing the death warrant for any relationship to go further than a kiss on the first date, but he didn't care. It felt so good, so right.
He wanted her now.
"Goodnight Kurt," she whispered, as she turned to unlock the door.
Kurt arrived back at the house to the music of Pokey's yowling. She who must be fed. Pokey could smell the dog on him, could smell the other female, that new female, too. Pokey was not happy to share Kurt's affection with any other creature, and she planned to let him know later by yarking up a juicy hairball on the seat of his expensive ergonomic padded desk chair after he went to bed. He'd discover it only after sitting in it. After he fed the cat, he sat on the couch. His mouth still tingled from that kiss. What was he getting himself into? He had no job, no means of support. Dating was expensive. How could he get involved now?
He didn't care.
He had to have her.
Chapter 14
www.cache-finders.com Geocache Listing
Fore Play - Miniature Sized Cache
by KeystoneCopper [email this user]
Pennsylvania, USA
[click to download geographic coordinates and hints]
You're going to love this one, it's a puzzler! It is not necessary to enter the country club grounds to find this cache! If you do you will be trespassing! Please respect private property. Don't download the hint until you've tried to find it, because the hint's a spoiler. Also don't post any photos of the cache container or the hiding spot! The cache container is tiny. Bring only small items to trade!
Cache Visitor Comments:
(5 comments total)
[click to see previous comments]
[4] December 25 by YaddaYaddaBing [12 caches found]
we decided to do a little caching this afternoon after ripping opening the presents, since jimmy got a (surprise!) new gps receiver. buzzed out to the nearest cache (this one) and when we got to the coords, we saw red flashing lights over by that huge old barn across the road from the country club. there was golf carts everywhere, cops, and animal control. we couldn't get to close, cuz they had the area taped off. we couldn't find the cache either but we looked for about 45 minutes.
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[5] December 26 by JennysBoy [572 caches found]
Hey yadda, my cousin's an officer with Westmoreland County Animal Services. He was at that deal you guys saw over there. Some bastard did a hit-and run on the highway by hole #8 (Gold course) overnight. Turns out the animal they hit was the greenskeeper's black lab! Greenskeeper (poor sap) found it while working in the maintenance barn just down the hill from the hole. My cousin said they didn't get nothin' off the scene due to that big snow we had covered all traces. Happy frickin' White Xmas, keep yer dogs inside, and keep on cachin! [BTW, this cache is an easy find if you just keep "lookin' up." :-)]
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Chapter 15
Harrison Valley Pennsylvania
Thursday, December 26
JIM MCCHASNEY WOKE EARLY Thursday morning in the ranch house on the hill overlooking the Gold course, the oldest and prettiest of four nine-hole courses at the club. The sheer white drapes over his bedroom window hovered like luminous ghosts in the grey dawn. A chain of colored Christmas lights bordered the window.
He parted the curtains with the back of his hand. A thick snow buried the courses, his house, the barn, the clubhouse, and everything else for seventy-five miles in any direction. Out on number five Gold, skeletal trees creaking and laboring under a crust of ice poked up out of the snow, threatening to snap a limb if the dawn wind pushed any harder. Toward the back of the Gold, along the banked white forehead of the number eight fairway, the trees receded in a wispy hairline of charcoal grey. Snow clung to the trunks of the trees in splotches, and everywhere you looked it was either white-grey or charcoal grey, with few shades in between.
Jim was usually up well before first light, but this was the day after Christmas and he allowed himself the decadence of an extra half-hour of sleep. The sky was just turning from deep black to light grey, with some lighter grey painting the clouds to the east. Winter in Pittsburgh: leave your Kodachrome in your camera bag. He pulled on his overalls and work boots, and threw on a heavy parka that was hanging on the Queen Anne chair by the door. Jim always dressed professionally, wearing khaki pants, a button-down cotton work shirt, leather work boots, and a matching belt. His duties often brought him in contact with the members out on the course, and he knew appearances mattered.
He kissed Adele lightly on the forehead and she
stirred and rolled deeper into their down comforter. Jim stroked her silver hair. They had been married just over forty years, and he loved her as intensely as any twenty-something kid. He hadn't imagined as a young man that romantic love could survive forty years of marriage--but it had. And it had grown into something even deeper that he couldn't have imagined as a young man growing up working the rusted steel mills of Duquesne. Adele had become his best friend.