by Nicole Dykes
“Fuck that. We started this together and it’s staying in both of our names. It’s just a little investigation.”
“Who knows how many ‘friends’ that fucking asshole has in government agencies man.”
“Bring ‘em on.”
He grins, confidently and I shake my head. “You’re a good friend.”
“Don’t get all mushy on me now. Don’t lose that fucking tough guy just because you went and fell in love.”
I laugh, “Fuck you.”
“There you go.”
Maybe he’s right. I’ve never been one to just sit around. I grab my keys and go outside to my truck.
I drive downtown to the Senate Office Building, park and walk in with fierce determination.
Outside of his office door, there is a small waiting room, with a meek looking secretary whose eyes widen when I walk inside. “Nicholas Warner in?”
“Uh, he is, but he’s very busy right now.”
“I’m sure he is.”
“I can’t let you in, I’m so sorry. I can take a message though.”
I shake my head, “Don’t worry about it.”
I barge through the door and Senator Dickface is sitting at his desk, barely shaken by my appearance.
That’ll change.
His secretary is behind me, now she looks freaked the fuck out, “I’m so sorry Senator Warner. Do you want me to call the police?”
He raises his hand, “No, this is my friend Jackson. He’s always welcome, Denise.”
She nods and walks out of the office, closing the door behind her.
“I thought I might see you today, Jackson.”
I move closer to his desk, towering over him, “Did ya now?”
“I did. I imagine you had a visit from two of my very good friends.”
“You have no idea who you’re fucking with.”
He laughs at that which pisses me the fuck off and it takes everything I have not to strangle the life out of the fucker, “What are you going to do, Jackson? Throw me against the wall again? Hit me?” He stands up, leaning forward against his desk, “Try it and I will press charges this time. Not that it would be the first time you’ve been in jail.”
“It probably won’t be the last either. What the fuck do you want from me?”
“I think that’s obvious. Stop sleeping with my wife. You stay away from her and all of this goes away. You continue in your affair and I will call every government agency I can think of. I will show every one of your clients the proof that you cannot be trusted. I will end your life as you know it.”
“You really think I’m afraid of you?”
He leans in, getting in my face, “Charlotte is.”
“There is nothing in this world that will keep me away from her. And if you go near her, I will be back. Regardless of the price I have to pay.”
He just grins smugly and sits back in his seat, “It’s up to you how all of this goes Jackson. You can see yourself out.”
I’m shaking I’m so angry, but I if I hit him once I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop and that won’t do anyone any good.
I leave and drive to Charlotte’s condo.
There’s nothing to lose by going over there anymore.
Chapter 40
Jax
Tonight I pull up into Charlotte’s driveway and park my truck. I walk to her front door and ring the doorbell, trying to stay calm. I’m pumped full of adrenaline from my meeting with the senator.
Charlotte answers the door; she looks weary and doesn’t let me in right away, “Jackson, what are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?”
Has she been crying? “Jackson, you shouldn’t be here.”
“Well, I am. I need to talk to you.”
“I need to talk to you too.” She backs away from the door allowing me access inside and I take it, closing the door behind me.
We stay in the foyer. Her body is practically trembling. “Charlotte, are you okay?”
I go to place my hand on her shoulder to comfort her and she pulls away, “I can’t do this anymore, Jackson.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This affair. It has to end.”
I look at her beautiful face. I’m totally dumbstruck. “Affair? Charlotte this isn’t a fucking affair.”
“I’m married.”
“Not for long.”
She shakes her head, holding back tears and barely chokes out, “I’m going back to him.”
I close the massive gap of space between us, “No. Did he threaten you?”
“Jackson. I took a vow. I owe him to try to work this out between us.”
I gently wrap my hand around her wrist, “You don’t owe him shit. Don’t do this.”
I’m not buying any of this. She has pain written all over her face and I want to know what that son of a bitch said to her to scare her this badly.
“You should go.”
“That’s really what you want?”
She doesn’t form any verbal answer, instead she nods her head.
It’s killing me to see her like this. I look down at my hand, “Charlotte look at my fucking hand. I have a loose grip, you could break my hold at any time, but you’re not pulling away. Your body is screaming at you to let me stay and give you every bit of pleasure I have to offer. And your fucking head and heart are begging you to allow me to stay and take care of everything else.”
I don’t give her another chance to tell me to leave. We both know she doesn’t want that. I take her into my arms and kiss her with everything I have, saying goodbye to every bit of bullshit from today and trying to take away her pain.
She doesn’t push me away. She pulls me closer.
Kisses me harder.
I pick her up and carry up the stairs to her bedroom before tossing her on the bed.
We can talk later.
I rip my shirt off over my head and climb onto the bed. Both of us not wasting any time, frantically tearing the rest of our clothes off and before I know it, I’m inside of her again.
We move together at an accelerated pace, both dashing for that finish line. An escape we can only find with each other.
When I’m close I move my fingers down to her clit, rubbing it with an intense pressure guaranteed to send her over the edge.
It’s not long before I feel Charlotte’s whole body tense underneath me and her long fingernails scraping the back of my shoulders.
I explode inside of her at the same time, slamming into her until neither of us can move.
I roll off of her, pulling her tightly next to me, her head resting on my chest. “You aren’t really going to bail on me are you?”
Her hair brushes against my bare chest when she shakes her head, “I don’t want to, but he knows. He will ruin you.”
I tilt her chin up with one finger and looking into those sad eyes, “Stay with me Charlotte. I know you are scared, but don’t run.”
“You don’t understand being scared. You haven’t been afraid a day in your life, you’re the bravest person I know.”
“I’ve been scared every day since I met you.”
She looks horrified by that, “See you deserve better than all of this.”
I shake my head, “You aren’t getting it. Fear can be a good thing. I was walking around numb and you woke me up. I’m not afraid of your husband or even losing the business. I’m afraid of feeling something for someone again and that’s a fear I didn’t even know I had until I met you.”
She leans up, stretching her neck and then kisses me gently on my lips. And timidly says, “He knows about Emma.”
My body goes cold and she moves back down to lay on my chest, “What did he say?”
“He accused you of being a murderer. Which I know is ridiculous, but will you please tell me what happened?”
This is not a conversation I want to have with anyone, but I know I owe her an explanation, “Fuck there isn’t much left to tell. You know she was my girlfriend and that s
he was in an accident.”
“She died?”
I swallow hard and sit up against the head board. I don’t want to think about this.
Charlotte follows suite and sits up, pulling the sheets to cover her naked body. “Yes.”
“In a car accident.”
“See you already know everything.”
She shakes her head, cautiously, “I don’t know how it ended that way.” She looks away and quietly adds, “Why you had manslaughter charges filed against you.”
Fuck the senator and his research into my life. I relent and start to recount a story that’s been buried for over a decade, “Emma’s parents were total assholes. They didn’t give a fuck about her and they pretty much made that known. So like I said before she rebelled, in every way she could. Our senior year of high school she decided to throw a bigass party when her parents went on a European Vacation.”
I remember her walking proudly to my locker that day.
“I’m throwing a huge fucking party tonight to celebrate being back in this hellhole. So invite all of your friends.”
I grin at Emma, shaking my head, “They are going to trash your fuckin’ house.”
“That’s the point genius. I know you are working at your grandpa’s shop tonight, but don’t be too late okay.”
“I’ll be there.”
She winks at me and walks down the hall to spread the word, in those fucking tight ripped jeans she knows makes her ass look too damn good.
Charlotte is nervously listening to me, so I continue my story, “I drove out to Emma’s house and our entire school was there. Even rival schools. The huge house was packed full and the alcohol and drugs were flowing through almost everyone. She lived outside of town, off of a dirt road and it had just started storming when I got there.”
I move through the crowd and finally spot Emma, “Jax, I didn’t think you were ever going to make it.”
She slings her arms around my neck, reeking of hard liquor, “How much have you had to drink?”
She picks up a bottle of vodka from the kitchen counter, “Not too much. Here, catch up to me.”
It’s a challenge, like everything else in our relationship and I take it. Taking a huge swig from the bottle and then another. “Fuck.”
She laughs and leads me to the living room to hang out with a group of our friends.
“We got totally shitfaced together. Just sat back and drank and smoked everything that was offered.”
Charlotte’s face saddens, “Lots of teenagers go to parties, Jackson.”
“Yeah, we took it the extreme way too often. And then Emma and I got into a fight.”
“Over?”
“She thought I was flirting with another girl at the party. A girl she didn’t get along with in the first place. She used me against Emma and flirted shamelessly every time she was around.”
“You fucking bitch! Get your skanky hands off of my boyfriend.”
Mikayla moves her hand off of my arm and shoves Emma backward, “It’s not my fault that Jax thinks I’m sexy.”
I roll my eyes at Mikayla’s ridiculous statement, “Don’t push her.”
I turn to Emma knowing she won’t take that lying down, “Emma, I was just getting a refill.”
She screams at me, the room is already spinning from way too much alcohol, the last thing I want is for Emma to go ballistic, “Fuck you Jax, are you screwing her?”
“What? No, I’m not. That’s insane.”
“Don’t call me crazy, asshole.”
“I would never touch her.”
Mikayla folds her arms, “Seriously, Jax, I know you want me. Leave this bitch and I’ll show you what a real woman is.”
I don’t even acknowledge that and put both of my hands on Emma’s shoulders, “Emma you have to trust me by now.”
She slaps my hands away and makes her way to the stairs, nearly falling up them.
Fuck. I slowly go after her. In my intoxicated state, my feet feel like they have cinder blocks tied to them.
“She got pissed off and locked herself in her mom’s office upstairs. I pounded on the door, begging her to come out and after a few minutes she did. She blew past me in the hallway and went downstairs and outside, crying hard. I followed her as fast as I could, almost busting my ass a couple of times.”
I haven’t talked about that night for so long.
I pause for a minute before going on with the story, “When I finally got outside I saw Emma in her car, about to back out of the driveway. I tried to open the passenger door, but she had it locked. I pleaded with her not to go, but she just peeled out, nearly missing a few of the cars.”
Charlotte puts a hand on my shoulder, “So you weren’t driving?”
I shake my head, “No. I made a stupid fucking mistake. One I go over and over in my head every day. Instead of jumping right into my car, I went inside and grabbed my friend, Mark. I knew he hadn’t been drinking.”
“That was smart.”
It was stupid.
“Mark. Drive faster! What the fuck are you doing?”
His car slides to a stop on the wet pavement about two miles from Emma’s house.
“Don’t fucking stop. Keep going, we have to find her.”
Mark doesn’t say anything, just turns pale and stares forward. What the fuck is he looking at?
I look straight ahead and then a little off to the right.
Right then my whole world stops.
Please no.
This isn’t happening.
I jump out of the car and run like hell to that red Toyota. “Emma!”
“Just hold on, we are going to get you out. I promise.”
Her bloody hand grips mine, “Please don’t leave me.”
“We caught up to her car about two miles away from her house. She had slammed her car into a tree. We called 9-1-1, and when they finally got there she had lost consciousness. I rode with her in the ambulance, but she died on the way to the hospital.”
Charlotte covers her mouth, “Oh my God, Jackson. That’s so awful. How could they charge you with that? You weren’t even in the car.”
“Her mother had them charge me with that, but the charges were dropped almost instantly.”
Charlotte wraps her arms around my neck pulling me to her, “I’m so sorry, Jackson.”
“I found out a couple of days later that there were a few people in her mom’s office when she went in there. They had pulled up a video of her mom fucking her tennis instructor. How fucking cliché is that shit? Emma saw it and that’s what made her run, but she was pissed off at me because of Mikayla and didn’t trust me enough to just stop and talk to me.”
“Did her mom know that?”
I shake my head, “I don’t know. She was addicted to pills and didn’t know who she was half of the time. She hated me and put all the blame on my shoulders.”
“Jackson, why didn’t you tell her?”
I thought about it many times when she would call and accuse me of killing her daughter. “It wasn’t worth it. I hadn’t heard from her since then until about a month before you and I met. I had actually had the nightmares slightly under control until that bitch started blowing up my phone again.”
“Did she say what she wanted?”
I shake my head, “I don’t care.”
Charlotte rests her head on my shoulder, “Maybe you should talk to her.”
I turn and kiss her soft, full lips, “I have no more secrets. You know everything about me. Don’t doubt that and if you want me, you have me, but you can’t run.”
She nods her head and our foreheads rub against each other. “I won’t. I love you, Jackson.”
My chest squeezes when she says that.
The last girl that said that to me is gone now.
Charlotte doesn’t wait for me to say it back, she just kisses me again and moves her body on top of mine.
I may not be able to say it out loud, but I can for damn sure show her.
Chapt
er 41
Charlotte
I wake up with my head on Jackson’s hard chest. He’s still asleep and looks fairly peaceful.
Last night’s events run over and over in my head as I lay in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. It’s a beautiful, sunny morning and I’m exactly where I want to be.
I love this man.
Jackson’s eyes slowly open and he brings the arm that is not around me to block his eyes from the sun streaming in, “Fuck, what time is it?”
I look at the clock, “Nine in the morning.”
He pulls me closer, “That’s too fucking early.”
I laugh. We were up pretty late. Or is it early? “I know. I couldn’t sleep anymore.”
“Because you’re worried?”
I nod my head, slowly, “Yes. Jackson he has photos of us together. Before I even left him.”
His fingers brush softly against the bare skin of my arm, sending shivers through my entire body, “So he’s had us followed?”
I’m still horrified by that thought. “Yes. It seems he’s had me followed off and on throughout our entire marriage. And you only recently.”
He doesn’t show it, but I know he’s seething with rage deep inside at that fact. “We will deal with it.”
I sit up, pulling the covers up with me, “Jackson, that means he has proof of our relationship.”
“Friendship. He doesn’t have proof of a relationship, because we didn’t do anything until you left the asshole. It was platonic.” I give him a look and he grins, “At least on the outside. My thoughts weren’t very platonic.”
I smile at that, “You aren’t worried?”
“Hell no. The way I see it you still hold most of the power. We will figure something out and until then I want to just keep going forward.”
“Really?”
He sits up, not bothering to hide his gorgeous, naked body. “Yes, really. Do not run from me. I’ll find ya.”
I smile brightly at that and laugh. His tone is joking, but I believe him also. I don’t think he will let me go because he knows that every part of me wants him. “I promise I won’t anymore. I didn’t want to last night for the record.”