‘At times it was horrendous—especially at secondary school. But we coped.’
Amy’s existence could have caused major friction between her and her siblings, but both Danny and their older brother, Neil, had always been fiercely protective of her, particularly during their teenage years.
‘Did you always know?’
‘Not when I was a young child. My family was my family. Danny being five months older than me...it was just a fact of our lives. Neil always knew I was only his half-sister but, again, it was just a fact of our lives and something he assumed was normal. My parents never mentioned it so he didn’t either. Then we got older and other kids started asking questions... Mum told me the truth when I was ten.’
She shuddered at the memory of that sudden realisation that her whole life had been a lie.
‘She’d been waiting until I was old enough to understand.’
It had been the most significant moment of Amy’s life. It would have been easy to feel as if her whole world had caved in, but Danny and Neil had simply shrugged it off and continued to treat her as they always had—as their sister. That, more than anything, had made it easier to cope with.
‘Did you not have any idea you weren’t hers?’
‘Not in the slightest. She loved me. Any resentment was hidden.’
‘What about your father? Where does he fit in with all this?’
‘He left it to my mum to tell me. When it came out he carried on as normal, trying to pretend nothing had changed.’
But of course everything had changed. She’d changed. How could she not? Everything she’d thought she knew about herself had been a lie.
She looked back at Helios, wanting him to understand. ‘When I was told the truth it became important, I guess, to pretend that nothing had changed. They still treated me the same. They still scolded me when I was naughty. My mum still tucked me up in bed and kissed me goodnight. Outwardly, nothing did change.’
‘And how does she feel about you being here now, trying to find your birth mother?’
‘She understands. She’s adopted herself—I think that’s why she was able to raise me without blaming me for the sins of my birth mother. She knows what the urge to find out who you really are is like.’
Her mum had encouraged Amy’s quest to learn all there was to know about Agon. She’d been the one to take her to the library to seek out books on Agon and Minoan culture and to record any television documentary that featured the island. So encouraging had she been that a part of Amy had been scared her mum wanted her to go to Agon and stay there. She’d been afraid that she wanted to get rid of the living proof of her husband’s infidelity, that all the love she had bestowed on Amy had only been an act.
But Amy couldn’t deny that she’d seen the apprehension in her mum’s eyes when she’d left for Agon. Since she’d been on the island she’d received more daily calls and messages than she had when she’d first left home for university. Was she secretly worried that Amy would abandon her for Neysa...?
Secretly worried or not, wanting to get rid of her or not, being adopted herself meant her mum had first-hand experience of knowing what it was like to feel a part of you was missing. Helios had always known exactly who he was. There hadn’t been a single day of his life when he hadn’t known his place in the world or his destiny.
‘She sounds like a good woman.’
‘She is. She’s lovely.’ And she was. Loving and selfless. Amy knew her fears were irrational, but she had no control over them. They were still there, taunting her, in the deepest recesses of her mind.
‘So why do you want to meet your birth mother?’ Helios asked, puzzled that Amy could want anything to do with someone who’d caused such pain and destruction. ‘She abandoned you and destroyed your mum’s trust.’
She looked away. ‘I don’t want a relationship with her. I just... I want to know what she looks like. Do I look like her? Because the only thing I’ve inherited from my dad is his nose. And I want to know why she did what she did.’
‘Even if the truth hurts you?’ If her birth mother was anything like her layabout son, he would guess she’d abandoned Amy for purely selfish reasons.
‘I’ve been hurt every day of my life since I learned the truth of my conception,’ she said softly. ‘I know there are risks to meeting her, but I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering.’
‘Has your father not been able to fill in any of the gaps for you?’
‘Not really. He doesn’t like to talk about her—he’s still ashamed of his behaviour. He’s a scientist, happily stuck in a laboratory all day, and what he did was completely out of character.’ She gave a sad smile. ‘Even if he did want to talk about it there’s not much for him to say. He hardly knew her. She was hired on a recommendation from one of Dad’s colleagues who left his research company before I was dumped on him. All he and my mum knew was that Neysa—my birth mother—was from Agon and had come to England for a year to improve her English.’
And so the Greens had allowed a stranger into their home, with no foreknowledge of the havoc that would be wreaked on them.
‘Everything else I’ve learned since I came here,’ she added wistfully. ‘Greta has helped me.’
But she hadn’t confided in him or approached him for help.
Helios tried to imagine the pain and angst she’d been living with during all the nights they’d shared together. She hadn’t breathed a word of it, although she must have known he was in the best position to help her.
‘How’s your parents’ marriage now?’
Amy shrugged. ‘When it all happened I was still a newborn baby. They patched their marriage up as best they could for the sake of us kids. They seem happy. I don’t think my dad ever cheated again, but who knows?’
‘My mother was a good woman too,’ he said.
He was realising that Amy was right in her assertion that they had both kept things hidden. Both of them had kept parts of their lives locked away. And now it was time to unlock them.
‘And my father was also a philanderer. But, unlike your father, mine never showed any penitence. The opposite, in fact.’
Her taupe eyes widened a touch but she didn’t answer, just waited for him to continue in his own time.
‘My father was hugely unfaithful—to be honest, he was a complete bastard. And my mother was incredibly jealous. To shut her up when she questioned him about his infidelities he would hit her. She deserved better than him.’
This was not a subject he’d ever discussed with anyone outside of his family. His father’s infidelities were well documented, but his violence...that was something they’d all closed ranks on. Being the sons of such a vicious, narcissistic man was not something any of the brothers had found it easy to reconcile themselves with.
‘I’m sorry,’ Amy said, shaking her head slowly as if trying to take in his words. ‘Did you know it was going on? The violence, I mean?’
‘Only on an instinctual level. It was only ever a feeling.’
‘How was your relationship with your father?’ she asked quietly.
He grimaced as decades-old memories flooded him. ‘I was the apple of his eye. He adored me, to the point that he excluded my brothers. It felt good, being the “special” one, but I also felt much guilt about it too. He was cruel—especially to Theseus. My mother struggled to make him treat us all fairly.’
Amy didn’t say anything, just stared at him with haunted eyes.
‘I was a child when they died. My memories are tainted by everything I learned after he’d gone, but I remember the looks he would give my mother when she stood up for Theseus or made a pointed remark about his other women. I would feel sick with worry for her, but he was always careful to make sure I was out of sight and earshot before hitting her. It got worse once I left for boarding school,’ he continued. ‘With me gone, he didn’t have to hide it any more.’
‘You surely don’t blame yourself for that?’
‘Not any more. But I did
when I first learned the truth.’ He met her gaze. ‘It took me a long time to truly believe I couldn’t have stopped him even if I had known. But, like you when your life fell apart, I was a child. Talos tried to stop it—that last day, before my parents were driven to the Greek Embassy and their car crashed, Talos was there, right in the middle of it. He got hurt himself in the crossfire.’
‘Oh, the poor boy. That must have been horrendous for him.’
‘It screwed up his ideas of marriage. He has no intention of ever marrying.’
‘Not an option for you,’ she said softly.
‘No.’ He shook his head for emphasis. ‘Nor for Theseus. The security of our family and our island rests in our hands. But I swear this now—my parents’ marriage will not be mine.’
‘What if it was an option?’ she asked suddenly, straightening. ‘What if you’d been born an ordinary person? Who would you be now?’
‘I don’t know.’ And he didn’t. ‘It’s not something I’ve ever thought about.’
‘Really?’
‘Theseus spent most of his life fighting his birthright and all it brought him was misery. Why rail against something you have no control over? I had no control over my conception, just as I had no control over my parents’ marriage or their deaths. My destiny is what it is, and I’ve always known and accepted that. I am who I am and I’m comfortable with that.’
It was only in recent weeks that the destiny he’d always taken for granted had gained a more acrid tang.
During their conversation Amy had moved fully back onto the bed and was now facing him, hugging her knees. Reaching forward, he took her left foot into his hands and gently tugged at it so it rested on his lap.
A strange cathartic sensation blew through him, and with it a sense of release. His father’s violence and complete disrespect to his mother were things that he’d locked away inside, not wanting to give voice to the despicable actions he and his brothers felt tainted by. But Amy was the last person who would judge a child for the sins of its parents. In that respect they shared something no other could understand.
‘The main reason I selected Catalina is because she has no illusions about what our marriage will be,’ he said, massaging Amy’s foot. ‘She has been groomed from birth to marry someone of equal stature. I will be King, but I will never be like my father. Marrying Catalina guarantees that she will never expect more than I can give.’
‘But your mother was a princess before she married your father.’
His mouth twisted. ‘Their marriage was arranged before she could walk. She grew up knowing she would marry my father and she built an ideal in her head of what their marriage would be like. She loved him all her life and, God help her, she was doomed to disappointment. The only person my father loved was himself. Catalina doesn’t love me any more than I love her. There will be no jealousy. She has no expectations of fidelity.’
‘Has she said that?’ Amy asked doubtfully.
‘Her only expectation is that I be respectful to her and discreet, and that is something I will always be. Whatever happens in the future, I will never inflict on her or on anyone the pain my father inflicted on my mother.’
‘I know you wouldn’t hurt her intentionally. But, Helios, what she says now...it doesn’t mean she’ll feel the same way once you’ve exchanged your vows.’ Amy closed her eyes and sighed. ‘And it doesn’t change how I feel about it. I won’t be the other woman. Marriage vows should be sacred.’
Helios placed her foot gently onto the bed before pouncing, grabbing her hands and pinning her beneath him.
Breathing heavily, she turned her face away from him.
‘Look at me,’ he commanded.
‘No.’
‘Amy, look at me.’ He loosened his hold only when she reluctantly turned her face back to him. ‘You are not Neysa—you are Elaine’s daughter, with all her goodness. Catalina is not your mother. Nor is she mine. And I am not my father. The mistakes they all made and the pain they caused are not ours to repeat. That’s something neither of us would ever allow to happen.’
He came closer so his lips were a breath away from hers.
‘And I’m not married yet.’
Her eyes blazed back at him, desire and misery fighting in them. He leaned down and placed a kiss to her neck, smoothing his hand over her breasts and down to her thighs. He inched the hem of her dress up and slid between her legs.
‘Neither of us are ready for this to end. Why deny ourselves when my vows are still to be made and we’re not hurting anyone?’
Amy fought the familiar tingles and sensations spreading through her again as the need to touch him and hold him grew stronger than ever. How was it possible to go from wanting to wrap him in her arms, to chase away what she knew were dreadful memories for him, to sensual need in the blink of an eye?
She writhed beneath him. Her words came in short breaths. ‘I can’t think when you’re doing this to me.’
‘Then don’t think. Just feel. And accept that we’re not over.’
In desperation she grabbed at his hair, forcing him to look at her. ‘But you’ve made a commitment.’
‘A commitment that won’t be fulfilled for two months.’ He slid inside her, penetrating as deep as he could go.
She gasped as pleasure filled her.
‘Until then,’ he continued, his voice becoming heavy as he began to move, ‘you are mine and I am yours.’
Amy tightened her hold around Helios, wishing she didn’t feel so complete with his weight upon her and his steadying breaths softly tickling the skin of her neck. She was a fool for him. More so than she could have imagined.
They’d laid their pasts bare to each other and the effect had been the very thing she’d been scared of. She felt closer to him, as if an invisible emotional bond had wrapped itself around them.
He finally shifted his weight off her and she rolled over and burrowed into his arms.
‘Don’t even think about trying to sneak out,’ he said sleepily.
‘I won’t.’ She gave a soft, bittersweet laugh. Her resolve had deserted her. Those bonds had cocooned her so tightly to him she could no longer envisage cutting them. Not yet. Not until she really had to. ‘You and I...’
‘What?’ he asked, after her words had tailed off.
‘No one can know. Please. Everyone who knew we were together knows we split up. I couldn’t bear for them to think we’re having an affair behind the Princess’s back.’
When they’d been together originally Helios had made no secret of her place in his life. She might not have accompanied him to official functions, or been recognised as his official girlfriend, but she had been his almost constant companion within the palace.
She’d spent far more time in his apartment than she had in her own, and whenever he had come into the museum he would seek her out. He would touch her—not sexually...he at least had a sense of propriety when it came to that in public...but he would rest his hand in the small of her back, lean close to her, all the little tells of a possessive man staking his claim on the woman in his life. And if work or duty took him away from the palace she would be the one to look after Benedict.
It had only been on the inside, emotionally, that they had been separated. But not any more. At this moment she didn’t think she had ever felt as close to anyone in her life.
‘Discretion will be my new name,’ he acquiesced.
‘And when you marry you will let me go.’
He stilled.
Watching for his reaction, she saw his eyes open. ‘That gives you two months to find my replacement,’ she whispered. ‘I want to know that you’ll release me from the palace and from your life. I appreciate it means bringing my contract to an early end, but I don’t think I’ll be able to cope with living and working here knowing it’s the Princess you’re sleeping with.’
When he married their bonds would be destroyed.
He breathed deeply, then nodded. ‘I can agree to that. But until then...’
‘Until then I am yours.’
CHAPTER NINE
HELIOS CLICKED ON Leander Soukis’s profile and stared hard at it. There was something about the young man’s chin and the colouring of his hair that reminded him of Amy, but that was the only resemblance he could see. How could Amy share half her DNA with this layabout? Amy was one of the hardest workers he’d ever met, which, in a palace and museum full of overachievers was saying something.
And how she could be from the loins of Neysa Soukis was beyond his comprehension. Helios had done his homework on Amy’s birth mother and what he had learned had not given him hope of a happy ending.
Neysa was a social climber. Approaching fifty, she still had a refined beauty. She had a rich older husband, who doted on her, and a comfortable lifestyle. Helios vaguely recalled meeting her husband at a palace function a few years back. Neysa had married him when she was twenty-one, less than two years after having Amy. Why she hadn’t confessed to having had a child he could only speculate upon, but his guess was that it had nothing to do with shame and everything to do with fear. No doubt she’d been scared of losing the wealth that came with her marriage.
Neysa had put money before her own flesh and blood. If Helios had his way Amy wouldn’t be allowed within a mile’s radius of the woman. But he understood how deep blood could go. That morning he’d met his nephew for the first time. He’d felt an instant thump in his heart.
This little boy, this walking, talking dark-haired creation was a part of him. His family. His bloodline. He was a Kalliakis, and Helios had felt the connection on an emotional level.
It might break her heart in the process, but Amy deserved to know her bloodline too.
Whether the Soukis family deserved her was another matter...
If they did break her heart he would be there to pick up the pieces and help her through it, just as Amy had been there with a comforting embrace whenever the pain of his grandfather’s illness had caught him in its grip.
Thinking quickly, Helios drafted a private message. If having a decree from the heir to the throne didn’t motivate Leander to bring his mother and half-sister together, nothing would.
Helios Crowns His Mistress Page 9