by Anna Brooks
“I dunno, a quickie or some shit,” he says seriously.
“Boy, aren’t you the romantic?”
He tickles my sides, and I snort-laugh. “Did you just snort?’
“Shut up!”
He lifts his head up and rubs his nose against mine. “I love you. So much it hurts sometimes. My chest gets tight just looking at you, but when I’m inside you, I can’t even breathe. You make it hard to breathe.”
I rub my finger across his lip. “I take it back. You’re romantic. You can stop laying it on so thick.”
“Thank God.” He pecks my lips and rolls off me and to his side. “I’m exhausted. Night, princess.”
I laugh and bop him on the head with a pillow, but he rips it out of my hand and throws it on the ground. It hits me when I close my eyes how happy I am right now. The joking and laughing are perfect. It’s us. It’s our normal.
* * *
“Wakey, wakey. Donuts and donuts.” I jump on the bed and Liam grabs at my ankles.
“Why the hell are you up? Damn,” his sleepy-sexy voice rumbles from deep in his chest.
I fall on my knees and rip the covers off him. “I have no clue, but you’re getting up with me. I ran to the gas station and got donuts.”
“Can I get like thirty seconds to piss first?”
“Sure, but hurry up. I feel guilty if I eat donuts alone.”
He pulls me in for a kiss and runs to the bathroom butt naked. I open the bag, toss a milk to his side, and open mine to take a sip. He comes back less than a minute later and shoves half a donut in his mouth. He holds the other half up and I bite into it.
“Mmm. So good.”
He’s still chewing, but nods in agreement.
“You know you really love someone when you can sit in bed naked eating a dozen donuts and not feel any shame,” I state.
“True that,” he mumbles.
He chugs his milk and wipes the mustache that formed. “So, I never got a chance to tell you I ran into Mr. Meyer at the store yesterday.”
“Really? How is he? I saw him in the pub a while ago, but that had to have been almost a year ago.”
“Well, his wife had a stroke so he’s been having trouble with her care and keeping up with the music center. He said he was going to have to sell the building because he just doesn’t have enough students to afford the bills since he’s cut down.”
“Oh, no. That’s horrible.” A crazy idea pops into my head, but I’m not sure he would go for it.
“Yeah, but I kind of told him I wanna buy it.”
I choke on my milk, and he reaches around me to pat my back. “You what?”
“I said I’m going to buy it and take over for him. Why, you think it’s a bad idea?”
“No, I just had the exact same thought! It’ll be awesome, Lee.”
He smiles so big both his top and bottom teeth show. “I think so, too. I want to go check it out today. Wanna come with?”
“Duh. Let’s go take a shower and go. Unpacking can wait.”
An hour later, we stand in front of the music center that will soon become Liam’s and walk inside to meet Mr. Meyer. I follow the two of them around as they talk animatedly about music and instruments. Lee pulls a guitar off the wall and strums a few chords then sits behind a drum set tapping out a beat. When he starts to play the piano, I try to remember the last time I’ve seen him so happy, and I suddenly feel like shit.
As if I’m forcing him to give up something he loves. Through all the tragedy with the baby, we never really talked that much about how he felt or still feels about leaving the band. He can speak all the words in the world about how much he grew to hate it, but the happiness on his face right now is evidence of something completely different.
I know there’s no way he’d ever go back to the band. He’s made that part perfectly clear, but I have an idea he may or may not go for.
“So, I was thinking,” I exclaim the second he gets in the car after shutting my door.
“Did it hurt?”
“Shut up. Would you wanna play at the pub?”
He scrunches his eyebrows and tilts his head. “Huh?”
“Like, just you and a piano or a guitar or whatever. We have karaoke, but I just thought it might be fun for you. I saw how happy you were back there, playing again, and I just thought … Never mind, it’s stupid.”
“Babe, it’s not stupid. I didn’t understand what you were saying at first. And I think it’s a great idea. But what made you think about it?”
“Just … I know you want to be here, but I worry that you’ll regret not being able to play anymore. Seeing you so happy in there just made me think that it’d be a way for you to still perform … I dunno.”
He turns the key in the ignition and pulls out of the parking lot. “I was so happy because those were some of the instruments I learned to play on. It was nostalgic.”
“Oh.” Well shit, now I feel stupid for making a big deal about it.
“But I like the idea. In fact, that was what I wanted to get back to. I always liked the smaller, more intimate venues. It’s a great idea.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that to appease me?”
He chuckles. “No. Not at all.”
“Cool. Of course, there’s no rush. I want to focus on the house this week, and when I go back to work next week, I’ll look into whatever instruments you want.”
“No, I’ll get ‘em. But I hope you know that you’re not going to be working sixteen-hour days anymore.”
I hit my head against the window and grunt. “Fuckin’ Nik.”
“He was just looking out for you.”
“Now that you’re here, I won’t feel the need to keep busy so much. But it also means that I’ll probably have to hire another bartender.”
I try to calculate how many hours I can cut back to. How much I’d have to pay somebody. If that extra bartender would need to work full time or part time.
“Stop. No work this week, remember? I arranged for everyone to pick up your hours and even roped your parents into checking on the paperwork.”
I was shocked when he surprised me with that the day after he told me about the house. Other things overshadowed his kindness and hard work to make that happen, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Those little things that he does, that he always did, are only part of the man who sits next to me. And he looks younger, happier, stress-free. He looks like my Liam.
Chapter 25
Liam
NIK WIPES DOWN THE bar and Meara disappears around the corner to finish something in the office before we leave. He clears his throat and throws the rag over his shoulder.
“I just wanna make sure we’re cool. That shit that went down last month was bad timing and I keep thinking about what I said. Listen.” He heaves out a breath and leans closer to me. “I have some family shit going on right now. Had then, too.”
“Nik. We’re straight. I got it.”
“Cool.” He puts away some clean glasses and asks how everything with the music center is going.
“Great. I’ve got everything turned over to my name. Now it’s just a matter of getting kids in for lessons and some of the logistics. Mr. Meyer is having a hard time letting some things go, which is understandable.”
“Is everything else okay? Meara seems real good lately.”
“Yeah, I think so. She’s never been one to bullshit, so when I ask her how she’s doing and she says fine, I take it for what it’s worth. Plus, if I ask her anymore, she said she’d punch me in the dick.”
He cringes and his body shudders. “She’d do it, too.”
“I know.” I laugh. “That’s why I’m not asking her anymore!”
Meara is still in the office, so we shoot the shit while she finishes up. About fifteen minutes later, she emerges with a jacket and a smile. “Ready?”
“Yup. We were just waiting for you.”
The three of us walk out and Nik says good-bye before he hops on his motorcycle and takes off.
We’ve been on a funky schedule lately with me not working. I’ve been coming to the bar to pick her up at two in the morning and we sleep ‘til ten. But with me taking over the music center, I’m going to have to start being there in the morning.
I reach over for her hand on the drive home. “Any luck hiring someone else?”
“Oh. Umm, no.”
“Have you looked?”
“Yes, Liam. I have ads out.”
Her snippy tone is a cause for pause.
“So, nobody’s applied?”
“A few people have.”
“Have you interviewed them?”
“Jesus.” She takes her hand out of mine and taps her fingers against her leg. “I told you it’s going to take time.”
“How much time? I’m going to start work soon too, and we need to figure out our schedules and stuff.”
“How am I supposed to magically know when somebody is going to be a good fit? I’m not a damn psychic.”
I pull into the garage and she gets out and slams her door before doing the same to the connecting one that leads to the kitchen. Obviously, I’ve hit a nerve, but I don’t know why. Worst-case scenarios are flying through my head and the biggest one makes my stomach cramp. Deciding she might need a few minutes alone, I take my time getting upstairs.
“What’s the matter?” I ask from outside the bathroom door.
“Nothing.”
“Meara.”
She flings the door open. “What?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You were fine all day, then I simply ask how the hiring is going and you bite my head off.”
“No, I didn’t. I answered your question, but you kept pushing like you always do.”
“Wow.” I put my hands in the air and slowly walk backward out of the room. “I’ve obviously done something to piss you off, so I’m just gonna go.”
She puts her hands on her hips and glares at me, as if I’m the asshole. I turn around and walk downstairs and back outside. Meara picked out these kick ass hammock-chair things. They’re like sitting on a fucking cloud. I plop my ass in one and close my eyes.
I’m not used to this. It’s been years since we’ve spent this much time together, and I guess this is par for the course. Couples fight. They take out their frustration on each other and sometimes say things they don’t mean. I just want to spend time with her, but I need to stop thinking about myself and understand her pressure. There have been many changes lately and we’re both adjusting the best that we can.
Not two minutes later the screen door creaks open and the swing next to me squeaks.
“Sorry,” she whispers. “It’s not you.”
“I hope not.”
“I’ve had seven people interview. And out of them, three would work. But when I hire one of them, that means I need to step back from the bar. And it scares me.”
I open my eyes to find her staring at me. “Why does it scare you?”
“My dad came in today. He said after being there when I was off that week last month, it made him realize I was ready. He and my mom are signing ownership over to me.”
“Aren’t you happy about that? Isn’t that all you’ve wanted?”
When we were younger and used to run around and play video games before it opened, she would always tell me Kelly’s Pub would be hers one day. After she had realized she wasn’t going to be a princess, her goals changed and never once has she swayed from them. She’s always known what she wants and does everything in her power to get it. She really is the strongest woman I know.
“Yes …”
“But?”
“But it means I’m the only one responsible. And I’m totally cool with that because I’m so ready for it. I’ve lived there. I’ve worked a ridiculous amount of hours and gotten little to no sleep to get to this point, and now that it’s here, I’m going to be working fewer hours? It doesn’t make sense. I should be working more.”
“Meara.” I angle my body toward her. “Of course, I want to spend more time with you, and I would love nothing more than to be together every possible moment. But if you’re not ready to cut your hours back, I understand. I selfishly expected when I moved back that you’d change your life to be with me more. And that’s not fair to you.”
Her face softens, and she leans closer to me. “I do want to be with you as much as I can, honest. I’m just having some trouble giving up control.”
“It doesn’t matter if we go to bed at the same time every night because when I close my eyes, you’re all I see … you’re all I ever saw. But I refuse to wake up in the morning without you by my side. I’ve missed rolling over to see your drooling face.”
She cracks a smile and lightly punches my shoulder. “I love you. Sorry, I was such a bitch.”
“You’re not a bitch. And I love you, too. Now.” I stand and she puts her hand in mine. “I’m fucking exhausted. Let’s go to bed.”
* * *
I just flipped the sign on the music center to closed and am about to lock the door when an SUV parks in front of the building. Jamie, Gabe, and Mike hop out.
“Holy shit. What are you guys doing here?”
They walk in and we give each other manly hugs as I try not to show my utter shock. I lived on a fucking bus with these guys for seven years. Sleeping with Meara is a million times better, but it doesn’t mean I don’t miss their ugly faces.
“We were in the neighborhood,” Jamie says.
“Thought we’d stop by. See what you were up to.” Mike checks out the place while he’s talking. “I can’t believe you own this now.”
“Yeah, me either. It’s only been a month, but it still seems surreal. Mr. Meyer only teaches once a week, but I’ve already got a waiting list of kids.”
“Do they have hot moms?” Gabe jokes.
“I wouldn’t know.”
“God, you’re still pussy whipped!” He crosses his arms and clears his throat. “Seriously though, this is awesome.”
“Thanks.” I redirect my gaze to Jamie and raise my eyebrows. “What’s up? I talked to you two days ago, and you never mentioned coming here. In fact, I thought you guys were in Michigan.”
A silence passes as I lean against the counter. “What’s going on?”
“Um. Well. It turns out old Jordan is a piece of shit, and when he didn’t show for the performance last night, we kind of lost our drummer.”
Dread rolls through my stomach and I shake my head. “Fuck, sorry guys.”
Please don’t ask me to come back. Please don’t ask me to come back.
“So we had to cancel some shows until we could find a replacement. You’re stuck with us for a couple weeks.” Jamie smiles and I full on laugh.
“Holy shit. I thought you were gonna ask me to come back.” Tears are forming in my eyes and I wipe them away. “Jesus, don’t scare me like that again.”
“We don’t want your nasty ass back.” Mike punches my arm and I push him back. “You gonna show us around or what?”
“Yeah, come on.”
My laughter finally fades when I start talking about the music center. I show them some of the remodeling I did and the new soundproof padding I bought. We laugh at old times remembering being young and full of dreams and how absurd our vision was. As happy as I am to be out of the band and with Meara, I did miss them, so I’m glad we get to hang out for a while.
We decide to go to the pub; Gabe and Mike take off before Jamie and I do. As I’m shutting off the lights, Jamie taps the keys on a piano. “You happy, Liam?”
“Yes. I am.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Me too, bro. Me, too.”
* * *
“Hey sexy, can I buy you a drink?”
“Seriously? Is that—” Meara turns around from behind the bar and her anger is quickly replaced with a huge smile. “Ahh! Oh my God, what are you doing here?” She leans over and hugs Jamie.
“Had some issues so we�
�re home for a couple of weeks.”
“Wow. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’ll be fine.”
She looks around the bar and waves at the other guys who are talking to Pierce at the door. “Can I get you a drink? Babe, you want something?”
“Beer’s good. The guys’ll want one, too,” Jamie replies.
“Water for me. Thanks.”
She pours our drinks and has to go take care of someone at the other end of the bar, so Jamie and I grab the glasses and go to an empty table. It’s still pretty early on a Friday night so it’s not that packed yet. After our talk last week, Meara decided that she’d still close on Friday and Saturday nights, but the rest of the time, she leaves around seven. She ended up hiring a friend of Nik’s and he only wants to work nights so she’s able to step back a little bit. It works out pretty good with the schedule I have and most nights we’ve been getting home at the same time.
Mike and Gabe meet us at the table but say they want to play pool, so we head in that direction. I stop at the bar and kiss Meara before meeting them upstairs. The guys all give me shit for being a bitch, but I just shake my head and laugh it off.
After Jamie gets another round, the place starts to pick up. A few fans come over and I step back so they can take pictures with the guys, but they pull me in. “You’ll always be part of the band, Lee.” Gabe throws his arm over my shoulder, and I rub the top of his head. “Aww, thanks, man. I think I might cry.”
We take a few pictures and sign some autographs on napkins. A couple of girls flirt with them and I step back. “I’m gonna go see how Meara’s doing.”
Cough. “Pussy whipped,” Mike jokes. Cough.
“Jealous.”
He puts an arm around two different girls and makes a show of looking at their tits. “Yeah, bud. Real jealous.”
I roll my eyes at him and jog downstairs, excited I get to see my woman. It hasn’t been long, but I miss her. Even though I love hanging out with the guys again, I can’t be this close to her and not touch her. It’s almost like sometimes I need to make sure it’s real, that she’s within arm’s reach, because it’s something I craved for so long. It’s something that I will do everything in my power to keep until the day I die.