“Fair point. If you were just being a prick, I'd be cool with it. But you're not. You're acting really weird again. I can't tell if you're going to cry or kill somebody.”
“I haven't cried since I was seven,” I told him, and I knew he believed me. Kai ran a hand through his blond hair and raised a thick brow at me.
“So it's her again then, Teagan. Why didn't you tell me you were inviting her to a game?”
“Why should I? She's a friend of mine, practically family. Your cousin comes to like half our games and you don't warn me. You know he tries to get me into bed every time we go out.”
“Considering the effect that women seem to have on you, maybe you should consider going gay.”
“Not women,” I said firmly, know this was pure truth. “Woman. Just the one. I can't figure her out, and I can't figure myself out when I'm around her.” Kai's icy blue eyes stared out the front window as rain started to fall from the sky like God had just torn open a big tarp or something, sent all of it streaming down in a thick wet burst. “We fucked at the game yesterday.”
“You … wait, what?” Kai choked out as he took a turn so hard that I slammed into the glass on the passenger door. Jesus Christ. “When? Where?”
“In the tunnel, after the final whistle.”
Kai blinked several times in shock, sliding his fingers up his stubbled throat.
“Holy shit, Winship. You are boss. How … in full pads?”
“Yup. I made it work,” I told him as he started to laugh. “When it needs to happen, I make it happen.”
Kai continued to laugh at me, but I didn't join in. None of this was fucking funny to me. I reached out and punched him in the shoulder—hard.
“Ow, Jesus. Look, I'm sorry but … that's pretty cool. I never thought to actually pick chicks up during the game. Are you in love with her or something?”
Several heartbeats passed without an answer from me.
“Okay, then. That's a yes.”
“I don't know.”
“Too late, you're already screwed. So you love her, okay. What are you going to do about it? Not go out to the club with me and fuck a hot southern chick, I'm sure. Although maybe that would make you feel better?”
“Or make me feel like I'm kicking Teagan in the ovaries. The thing is, I don't want to fuck anyone else.”
“I've noticed. Have you been celibate since you ran into that girl or something?”
I gave him a look that said this was a subject better left dropped. He ignored me. The perks of being an only child, I guess. Technically, I was one, too, but I was anything but privileged, spoiled and pampered.
“If you like her so damn much, why don't you just, like, date her or something?”
It sounded so stupid simple when he said it like that.
But I was a goddamn idiot first and everything else second.
“Take me to the club,” I told him and watched as he pursed his lips tight in disapproval. That coming from a guy who defined the word slut. I felt a hundred times worse, but I didn't change my mind.
I went to the club; I got drunk; I danced; I let a girl kiss me on the neck in a booth.
I felt sick.
And then I went home and slept in my dorm room—alone.
The next morning after practice, I texted Teagan and asked what she was up to.
'About to head out to Melia's,' she said as I licked the sweat from my lower lip, standing buck naked in the gunmetal gray of the locker room. It took a freaking biometric thumbprint to get in here, yet that did nothing to keep out the trash.
I looked up to find Mason Fenna smirking at me. I returned the look with my darkest glare and debated the merits of beating the shit out of him. It would feel good, but it'd probably get me booted off the team. Or at least suspended. Couldn't afford that with the season winding down, the draft coming up in January. I was this freaking close.
“You have a problem with me or something?” I asked him instead, but he didn't stop smiling, just shrugged his shoulders and pretended like I didn't have a way bigger dick. Spending this much time in a locker room, things were bound to be noticed. I was packing; Mason better pray he was just a late bloomer.
“No problem,” he said, lifting up his hands like I was a goddamn crazy person. Maybe when it came to Teagan, I was? Meanwhile, Kirk stood off to the side with Kai and pretended not to be watching. Okay, well Kirk had enough decency to pretend. Kai, not so much.
“I don't know what your problem with Mason is. I've never seen you two have a thing. Something you're not telling me?”
“Mason's a dick,” I told him, but Kai just shrugged his broad shoulders.
“But so are you, and we still hang out. Besides, dick is only one letter away from Duck.”
“Shut the fuck up, Kai,” I told him, pounding out a message with my thumbs that I wasn't entirely sure I wasn't going to regret. But this weekend, we were headed to Utah for a game, and I felt like I needed to see Teagan before we left. If I didn't, something would break between us. I knew that.
'Can I come?'
I stood there, buck naked, while the guys changed around me, and waited.
'She's the one with a crazy crush on you, remember? And she saw your sex tape.
'Is that a no?'
'It's an if you want.'
'Then I want,' I sent back, tucking my phone into my bag and throwing on my own clothes. A few minutes later, Teagan texted me the address, and I stole Kai's car keys.
I wanted to pick Teagan up, so we'd have time to talk, but I guess she had the opposite idea because she walked to Melia's house before I even left the locker room. When I got there, I didn't even have to knock before the front door was wrenched open and that girl from the Halloween party was smiling up at me.
She was pretty, bronzed skin with dark hair and brown eyes, but it was like there was this gray filter over her—over every girl. I felt myself smiling anyway, a wicked dirty smile that I didn't mean, that pissed Teagan off the second Melia stepped back and she saw me.
“Tyce,” she said tightly, like she was already regretting inviting me over here. The violent lightning was back in her face again, shattered purple and white streaks of hatred. The shock of what I'd said to her was still flittering across her skin, cutting her into a thousand tiny pieces. I'm horrible. I'm so horrible. I'm a monster, and I don't know how to stop.
“We're so excited to have you here,” Melia chattered, welcoming me into the cluttered cave of her apartment. It was packed with stuff, hanging plants from every corner of the ceiling, side by side bookshelves covered in knickknacks, the smell of weed and patchouli mixing in the air. “Teagan's told us sooo much about you. Plus, I mean, we've been watching the games since you became a Duck.”
“Thanks,” I said, but I wasn't really paying attention when she introduced me to another girl, a blonde with dreadlocks hanging halfway to her waist. While Melia talked, I stared at Teagan's fiery red hair frothing around her face. I studied the smoky shadow around her eyes, the lined lips, the burgundy wash of her color of her full, lush mouth. Instead of doing rainbows or vines or galaxies, her makeup was classic night out perfection.
My heart throbbed painfully.
“We were thinking of just hanging out and drinking, maybe smoking a little. But now that we've got a handsome escort, maybe we should go out?” Melia asked, raising her two arched brows at me. Her eyes raked over the unzipped sweater and t-shirt I was wearing like I was made of gold.
“I'm fine hanging out here.” I shrugged my shoulders with my fingers stuck in the pockets. “I partied a little crazy last night anyway.” I watched Teagan for a reaction and noticed her shoulders tightening as she leaned into her phone like she had something really important to do.
“Well,” Melia said, putting her palm on the chest of my white t-shirt. “I won't complain about having the Ducks star QB in my house, that's for sure. Sit down, put your feet up, and I'll get you something to drink.”
“Thanks,” I said as she mo
ved into the kitchen and left me alone with Teagan and the blonde. I studied my childhood friend for a moment, the tight fitting black Ducks tank she was wearing, the way the red strap of her bra hung out the side a little on the right. One leg was propped up on the couch, a pair of black sweats shoved up above her knees, the sneakers I'd bought her on her feet.
If she'd been wearing a skintight dress or a bikini I wouldn't have found her any sexier than I did in that moment.
“Mind if I sit here?” I asked as I moved over next to her and plopped down on the center cushion of the lumpy old couch. There were rugs piled all over the floor, covered in beanbags and random chairs. This must be where they all sat to watch the games.
“There's a whole other cushion on that end,” Teagan told me as Melia cursed and the blonde sighed, moving into the kitchen to see what was up. Leaving us alone. I pushed my thigh against Teagan's and waited for her to look up from her phone. She was texting someone, but I couldn't see who.
“Are you pissed at me?” Her face lifted up from her phone like it was in slow motion.
“Are you … joking?” she asked, raising both brows. And then, “oh, no. Not pissed. Just … processing things. It's hard to hear somebody say the things you did yesterday. But I'll get over it. Really, I just need a while.”
“I didn't say those things to hurt you,” I told her, but maybe that was a lie. Maybe I wanted Teagan to get hurt, to run from me since I was too stuck on her to do the same. I knew I couldn't have her, or that I shouldn't, or whatever, but it was impossible to stay away. “I just wanted you to know the truth. You deserve that at least.”
“Why are you even here, Tyce?”
“I thought we'd agreed to stay friends?” I asked, but Teagan just focused even harder on her phone. Her breath was heaving in and out, and her thigh was so warm against mine I was having trouble thinking.
“Bad news,” Melia said, coming back into the living room and moving around to the front of the couch. She was wearing a pair of leggings with frogs on them and a baggy black tee. It was a weird combo for sure. “I forgot that my brother and his friends were here last night. They drank me dry. I'm gonna have to run to the store to grab some more beer. You guys cool with that?”
“Yeah, of course,” Teagan said with a smile, looking up. I wished that smile was for me right now. Shit. “Do you want me to give you some money? I think I have a ten in my wallet.”
“I'll pay,” I said, sitting up and pulling my own out. I grabbed the last few twenties I had and handed them over to Melia with another one of my smug ass smiles, the ones I couldn't control, the ones I tried to used on Teagan the first night I'd run into her. It was a defense mechanism I think, or maybe it was just as natural to me as breathing?
“I'll drive,” the blonde said, twisting her dreads up into a bun on the top of her head. “I need to stop by my place and grab my laptop. If I'm getting drunk, I'm staying the night, and I have some homework I need to get done.”
“You're both going?” Teagan asked, snapping out of her texting daze like she'd been bit. “Should we all just go then?”
“Stay here,” Melia said, shrugging into a Ducks hoodie and smiling. “We'll be right back. Hang tight, and don't get into any trouble.” The blonde gave us a little wave, and then the door slammed shut behind them.
Silence descended like we were in a fucking graveyard.
“Teagan,” I began, but she was already in the process of standing up. I reached over and wrapped my fingers around her arm, tugging her back down next to me. “Please sit down.” She resisted my touch for a moment before slumping back into place with a sigh. When she finally looked at me, our gazes locked and I couldn't pull away. Heat throbbed through me and my cock responded in an instant. If Teagan noticed the growing bulge in my pants, she pretended not to. “Why can't we just hang out? I like hanging out with you, Tea.”
“You really hurt me yesterday, Tyce. You keep hurting me. I can't stop thinking about the way you feel inside of me, the way your hands feel against my skin. My brain hurts, and my heart is always pounding, and my mouth is always dry.”
My own throat tightened up at her words, and I swiped a hand down my face.
Teagan took a deep breath and continued.
“You're my friend, sure, and nothing will ever change that, but when I look at you, all I think about is how temporary this is. I know I'm setting myself up to miss you again.”
Fuck.
I exhaled, heavy and hot.
“When you talk like that, I can't think straight,” I said, putting a hand on her hip. Teagan's mouth parted, that gorgeous red lipstick catching my gaze and holding it. I'd fucked her—twice—but I hadn't gotten to feel her mouth on my cock, hadn't gotten to taste her, hold her. Hell, I'd barely gotten to kiss her. “When you talk like that, I feel like you own me.”
I leaned forward, the fingers of my right hand sliding into the silken strands of her hair.
“Tyce,” she whispered against my mouth. Teagan's eyes slid closed as I leaned into her. “I can't do this again,” she murmured as I put pressure against her lips and she opened up to me, letting me take over her mouth with my tongue. Teagan draped her arms around my shoulders and leaned back, pulling me into her so that I was leaning my weight on my left elbow, positioning my body above hers.
I kept my eyes open at first, watching her face, the emotions that burst across her skin like fireworks. The game was my chance to make this friendship thing really work, cement the type of relationship between us that I said I wanted us to have. I screwed it all up. After that, everything was different. I felt it; she felt it. A mistake made once can be called an accident, but a second time? What does a second time mean?
I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the kiss, working our mouths together until they felt bruised, until she opened her legs and I found myself fitting perfectly between them. This time, I didn't try to rush anything, just enjoyed the sweet fruity taste of her mouth, the way her hands explored my back like they were desperate to learn every swell and dip of my muscles.
I pulled my right hand down, cupped the side of her face and held her with trembling fingers.
I wasn't really sure what I was doing, but when Teagan was around, it was hard for me to remember my goals, to remember the rules. The rules. Rules that I had set between us.
Between Teagan's thighs, it was molten hot, and my cock was rock hard. I thrust my hips against her sweats and she groaned into my mouth, arching against me as I kissed my way down her jaw. I tasted her throat, licked the frantic gallop of her pulse while my right hand migrated to Teagan's breasts, cupped them gently through the fabric.
Her hips moved more frantically against me, the sounds from her throat turning into soft mewling cries as I increased the pressure of my body, moved harder, faster. Her breath was picking up, guiding my movements as I ducked a hand beneath her shirt and felt the velvety soft flesh of her tummy.
Meanwhile, I moved my mouth back to the smeared lipstick, cleaned it off her teeth, memorized the shape of her mouth. Fingers clawed at my biceps, dug into the ink of my tattoos. I let my weight settle fully into her, putting my left arm around her waist as I cupped her ass through her sweats with my right hand.
Frenetic gyrations of our hips pushed us both to the edge until Teagan was yanking on my hair and tossing her head back, groaning and falling into me, surrendering completely as she came from wild dry humping, from well-placed kisses, from the teasing hardness of my cock.
She was still shuddering and shaking when she reached up and slid her hands down the sides of my neck … paused. Let her eyes go wide as she leaned back and started to crawl away from me.
“What's wrong?” I asked as the green of her eyes turned dark, flashed with rage. I sat up as Teagan stumbled off the couch and stared at me with her hands curled into fists. Her red hair was mussy and twisted on her head, her lips wet and tender and bruised. “Teagan?”
The hormones were messing with my head. I stared at her and
tried not to get angry as I struggled to figure out what it was that I'd done this time.
“You … what did you come here for today?”
I sat up and raked my fingers through my hair in anger.
“To fucking see you. Why else?”
“To screw me again? To use me?” She reached a hand up and pointed a finger at her neck. “Because it doesn't look like you need me at all, Tyce. Looks like you've already got that covered.”
I put my left hand on my neck and … realized what it was that she was upset about. Last night at the club, when I'd let that girl kiss on me in a drunken stupor, I'd gotten hickeys. A bunch of them. In my rush to get over here, I'd forgotten all about it.
Shit.
“It's not … I didn't sleep with her,” I told Teagan, but her face was flickering with rage and her lips were tight as she glared down at me. “It was some drunken kissing. I was messed up. I'm so confused about this whole fucking thing, Tea. About the park, and the game, and just … seeing you again really changed everything for me.”
“I. Don't. Give. A. Shit. If you can only think about me in terms of how I affect you, then you're the same teenage asshole that ran away from Quaker Park like it was hell on earth. But you know what? It was never hell for me because you were there, because I loved you since I can remember. You talk about that place like it was murdering your soul, but our relationship, you and me, that was nurturing mine. I would've been happy being there with you, Tyce. I would've been happy because we'd be together.”
“Tea,” I started, but she was on a roll and had no intention of stopping.
“It might not seem like a big deal to you, but when we touch, when we … do things together, I think about it all the time. It hits me right here,” she puts a hand over her heart, “and it takes little pieces away. After the game, I was really messed up, Tyce. I needed you to step up and you basically said sorry, babe, but I don't love you enough. And then, just to rub a little salt in the wound, you … come here with some girl's marks all over your neck.”
Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 20