Uh oh. Five minutes in and my lies were already falling apart.
“And what was he doing in your room?” Crap. My dad was staring at me, really staring at me, and it was sort of freaking me out. He'd always been a little wary of Flor, but did he really think … ? I felt my face flush, shrugged again, and glanced away, reaching out to grab an apple from one of my stepmom's decorative fruit bowls. I guess my dad was right on the money if he was really worried about anything happening between Flor and me. Because it had. It had. It had.
I swallowed hard and bit down on the apple as Flor came in the back door, still shirtless, still achingly beautiful. I glanced sidelong at him and immediately my eyes caught on the protrusion of purple coming from his pocket. My panties. Flor has my panties in his pocket. I looked back over at our parents in alarm, but neither of them were paying him much attention. My dad was still looking at me funny and my stepmom was smiling to herself.
“What do you guys want to talk about?” Flor asked with a yawn, running his fingers through his mussy hair. “I didn't mean to fall asleep here, and I really gotta get going.” I forced myself to take another bite of the apple and stared at the white countertops, at the veins of gray that wove through the stone. My mind wouldn't stop pulling at the feelings inside of me, the memory of Flor's body hot and wanting. For me. Just for me.
“Patience, Florian. Good things come to those who wait.” River smiled and turned to my dad who, finally, decided to pull his interrogating gaze away from me. When his eyes met my stepmother's, they both smiled and little crows feet pulled at the edges of both their gazes. They even looked like a couple who'd been together a long time. Ugh.
I put a hand over my belly and leaned forward, barely tasting the sweet acidity of the apple in my mouth. Flor was definitely making an effort not to look at me, so I stared at the panties in his pocket instead. I really, really wanted to talk to him, to figure this out and see where we were, what was going to happen from this point on. Please make this quick so I can get out of here.
“Florian,” River began, clearing her throat. “Abigail.” I looked up and found our parents still gazing into one another's eyes. “I'm sure you've been wondering where we've been going for all of this out of town business.” Neither Florian nor I said anything. I don't think either of us had even given it a second thought, considering everything else that was going on between us. “Well, we haven't been going far. There's a … clinic in Portland we've been going to.”
I glanced up sharply and Flor took a step forward.
“A clinic?” he asked, alarm in his voice. I knew that Flor really loved his mom, that even though he treated her with disrespect at times, they had a close bond, forged hard as steel long before my dad and I had ever entered the picture. It made my chest ache, not because I wanted him to hate his mom, but because I was mad at myself for simply seeing their relationship as an obstacle. It made me feel like a bad person, and I didn't want to be. “Are you okay? What's going on?”
“I'm fine, Flor,” she said, her eyes shining as she looked from him to me and back again. “I … I know it's a little late and some people might think I'm a little old, but … ”
I saw where this was going long before Flor did.
My heart literally shattered and I felt my blood go ice cold. No.
“What?” Flor asked, scratching at the side of his head, looking between the two of them like he knew in his heart what his head refused to accept. “What are you talking about? You're only forty-eight. Too old for what?”
“Flor, I'm pregnant. Your father and I are having a baby.”
I saw the second the implications registered on his face. No.
“Flor, wait,” I said before I could stop myself. Both our parents looked my way with puzzled expressions. I saw a flash of disappointment on River's face before she hid it away. My dad and Flor's mom were having a baby. Now. This late in the game. No, no, no.
“That's great, Mom.” His lips pursed and his green eyes crackled with frustration and anger, but he leaned over and kissed her cheek before turning and heading right for the dining room and the front door. “I've gotta work early, so I'm taking off.”
I scooted off my stool and realized that our parents were waiting for me to say something. What was there to say? That an obstacle I'd already thought impossible to overcome was getting even bigger? If our parents had a child, a biological child, then Flor and I would be even more carefully locked into this cycle of taboo.
“Congratulations,” I blurted before chasing after him. I knew I'd have plenty of questions to answer later, but I couldn't let him go. I felt my fingers curl around his bicep as he paused in the entryway, his hand resting on the doorknob. “Flor,” I whispered, already feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes. “Please. Please don't go like this. It … it doesn't have to change anything.”
“Abigail,” he said, his voice cold, nothing at all like it had been on the rooftop as he filled my body with his own, as he held me, kissed me. “It changes everything.”
Flor opened the door and continued walking. I had no choice but to let go of him or be dragged along, and I refused to let myself fall to that state. The tears fell then, cascading down my cheeks in a salty storm.
“I'll call you later, 'kay?” he said, unlocking the doors to his car and climbing in, barefoot and shirtless. He left without even bothering to say goodbye.
I went home and crawled into bed, fell asleep to A Christmas Story. When I woke up, Addi was sitting on the edge of the bed with a frown curling her lips, like she already knew what had happened between Flor and me. I struggled up against the pillows, suddenly desperate for a shower. I hadn't showered since … yesterday, and I could still feel Flor on me, in me. I swallowed hard.
“What?” I asked, managing to sound somewhat nonchalant as I stared back at my best friend.
“When I woke up, I had a text from your mom.”
“Stepmom,” I corrected automatically.
“Abigail, she said she's worried about you. That you bolted out of the house last night in tears. And she also confided in me that she thinks it's because you're jealous.”
“Jealous?” I asked, completely missing the point.
“Of the new baby.”
“Oh.”
I leaned back and closed my eyes, laying an arm across my face as I struggled with a whole new set of emotions.
“Oh? That's all you have to say? Nothing else? Like maybe how weird it is that your dad and stepmom are having another kid now? Maybe what this means for you and Flor?”
“We did it last night, Addi,” I blurted and then cringed. In the background, I heard some hooting and flung my arm back, sitting up to see Theo, in full drag mind you, sauntering into the room with a smile. He really did make a beautiful woman with those round brown eyes, long lashes, and impeccable makeup.
“So you finally banged your brother?” he said, and I cringed, covering my face with both hands. Addi was so shocked that she just sat there in silence for several seconds.
“Abigail?!” she finally blurted, taking hold of my shoulders and forcing me to look at her.
“We did it. On the roof. And then my parents came home. And then they told us about the baby.” I groaned, letting it all fall out and not caring who was listening. “And then Flor just left and he was so angry, Addi. I'm not sure at who.”
“Better not be you,” she said, getting that voice on, the one that meant trouble. “I can't even … how did it happen?” I shook my head, unsure what to even say to that. How did it happen? Oh, I don't know, years of repressed hormones and a sexual tension so strong it could be cut with a butter knife?
Love.
I looked away and thought of Flor's face. He loved me, I could see that now. What I didn't understand was what that meant for us. Maybe nothing, probably nothing. If he'd felt that way all along then why should now be any different? If anything, this new baby thing was … a tragedy for our relationship.
“If … no, when R
iver has this baby, you and Flor will be sort of … related by blood?” Addi asked as a question. I just sat there staring back at her and didn't know what to say. While a new baby didn't technically change the fact that Flor and I were completely and utterly unrelated to one another, it did complicate things even worse than before. A shared sibling. Someone we both called family that was genetically related to both of us. Ouch.
Theo MacFabulous sat down on the end of my bed and patted my foot sympathetically. I could tell from his face and from Addi's expression that this meant only one thing: doom. Flor and I were doomed. We'd been screwed from the start, but this was a whole new monster.
“Why don't we make today a girls' day out? I'm doing a private party, but I don't think they'd mind if you two showed up and pretended to be assistants or something. All I have to do is be the MC for some wealthy housewives and their backyard fashion show.” He stood up and clapped his hands together. “Chop, chop, let's go. I won't take no for an answer.”
I groaned and tried to roll over, but Theo yanked the covers off my bed like a magician.
“Don't you still live in Portland technically?” I grumbled, burying my face in a pillow. “Can't you go back there now?”
“I'm subletting an apartment from a friend, a friend who's implied that there may be a very lucrative position opening up in Springfield sometime soon, something perfectly suited to a dude in a dress. Besides, I never could walk away from a story with an uncertain ending. You and your stepbrother? Abigail, your drama is divine.” Theo slapped me on the ass as I propped up and glared over my shoulder at him. He's prettier than I am, the jerk. How could a man look better in heels than even Addi did? The universe wasn't fair. “Pull your soggy sad sack butt out of bed and put on something skanky. If we do your make up just right, maybe the housewives will think you're a drag queen, too? It'll mean double the tips.”
Theo snapped his fingers and left the room, the sound of his high heels echoing off the partially exposed brick wall to the right of my bed.
I turned onto my back and glanced over at Addi who was sitting quietly, staring down at her lap. One look at her face and it all came crashing down around me. Maybe Theo was right? I should get up and go to that party with him; he proved to be an invaluable distraction from reality.
“Are you okay, Abs? Really okay?” she asked me, turning her brown eyes on mine. “I know how long you've wanted this, how much you really … ” She cleared her throat like the next words were hard to say. “How much you really love Florian. But this whole thing with your parents … it's a lot to take in.”
I sat up slowly, like my body was made of lead and shrugged. What was there to say? That River's revelation couldn't have come at a worse time? That the look on Flor's face when he'd heard was terrifying?
“I'm okay,” I said, but we both knew I didn't really mean it. Addi shook her head and stood up, putting her hands on her hips.
“Don't you lie to me, woman.” She pointed a finger at me, painted with a bright splash of yellow, like a spring flower. “And don't lie to yourself either. If you're hurting, then hurt. And when he calls, tell him everything. You've waited too long to brush this under the rug.”
Her mouth twitched.
“And as soon as you're feeling better, I want all the details. I mean, after all of this shit, was he worth the wait?” I rolled my eyes, knowing Addi would get the story out of me one way or another. She'd be irked to find that, yes, Satan made a delectable lover. A smile found my lips but was quickly leeched away, stolen by the memory of my stepmom's words. Flor, I'm pregnant. Your father and I are having a baby. “Don't answer that,” she added quickly, noting my expression as I rubbed my hands down my face. “At least not yet. You can tell me later, over beer and ice cream. Don't knock the combo until you've tried it.” She made herself smile at me as I untangled my legs from the sheets.
“Thanks, Addi.”
I appreciated both her and Theo's attempts to cheer me up, but at this point, all I wanted to do was stay blank, check out for a while. The one thing I'd always wanted, I'd gotten. And then seen snatched away from me just as quick. If I thought I was bleeding before, cut deep by my feelings for Flor, I was positively wrecked now. A walking corpse.
I took a deep breath and forced myself up, but I couldn't make my body take a single step. Instead, my fingers found the locket dangling around my throat and I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I glanced down at the nightstand and my phone. No messages. Flor hadn't contacted me yet, but he would, right? All I had to do was wait.
“A party sounds good,” I said and then proceeded to let Addi drag me off and dress me. Yes, a party sounded good; I didn't think I was capable of dealing with anything more serious just yet. Or ever. If Flor didn't come to me, I'd have to go to him.
My heart wouldn't have it any other way.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I went over to Flor's the next day after class, but I didn't see his car. I decided to knock anyway, since I could hear the sounds of a TV inside. Max's car was here, so I had just sort of assumed it was him until the front door opened and I found myself staring up at Rhonda.
She smiled at me and swiped some blonde hair behind her ear, stepping back and holding her arm out like she was inviting me in.
“Abi, nice to see you,” she said as guilt swelled heavy in my throat. “Flor and Max are at the shop, but I'm making a stew if you want some.” She waited for me to come in, but I just stood there staring at her, at her smile, her sweatpants and tank top. She looked comfortable, like she belonged here. I stared down at my feet and then back up, nodding because I didn't feel like I had the power to speak. I walked inside and stripped off my jacket; the house was a hell of a lot warmer than the winter chill outside.
I spied the kittens immediately and smiled. They were much bigger than the last time I'd seen them, scaling the sides of the laundry basket Flor had kept them in and waddling over to sniff at my feet.
“Congratulations,” Rhonda said as I followed her into Flor's tiny little kitchen. The air was thick with the heavenly smell of a home cooked meal and despite myself, I felt my tummy grumbling. “On your new brother or sister, I mean.” I felt my smile grind to a halt and an instant wave of dislike and resentment rolled over me. Rhonda didn't mean what she'd said as an insult, but to me it felt like one. That was not the person I wanted to be though, so I shook off the feeling and tried to school my expression into something more pleasant. Honestly, if we were counting points here, I deserved a negative score. I'd slept with this girl's boyfriend. I was the sister; I was supposed to be safe.
“Thanks,” I whispered, realizing I still hadn't spoken a single word since I'd gotten here. “And nice to see you, too. Sorry, I'm still a little … I'm recovering from a sore throat.” Rhonda nodded and smiled over her shoulder, her eyes big and round and framed with thick blonde lashes. She was just as pretty as Flor, much prettier than me. My stomach rumbled again, this time with the anxious feelings swirling around inside me.
“Well, it needs a little salt and pepper, but maybe this'll help. Here, try a bite and tell me what you think.” Rhonda grabbed a clean spoon, scooped up some of her stew and handed it to me. It was delicious. Of course it was. Rhonda couldn't just be another floozy that Flor had picked up. She had to be different somehow, special. Pretty. Skinny. Nice boobs. Good cook.
“It's really good,” I said, handing the spoon back. She smiled at me again and as her full lips twisted up into a grin, I could see she wasn't just pretty but gorgeous, much prettier than when she'd been covered in makeup. Even then, dressed as a drag queen, she'd been stunning. If she looked even better in a domestic setting like this, what chance did I stand?
“Thanks,” she said, turning back to her food and closing her eyes, like the smell of the food alone was enough to tell her how much salt and pepper she needed to add. I fidgeted, my coat hanging over one arm, my heart pounding a strange rhythm inside my chest. My hidden feelings for Flor had morphed into something diffe
rent, something that I was afraid was even worse than the sickening shame I'd held onto before: guilt. “Flor should be back soon. I don't know about Max.” She glanced over her shoulder at me, her gaze assessing. I couldn't read into her expression, but I could probably guess what she was doing. Max and Flor were similar in so many ways, and I figured she was trying to puzzle out what a good looking guy like Max would want with me. “Did you want to stay for dinner?”
I watched her move around the kitchen and felt my insides twist uncomfortably. She'd obviously spent a lot of time here if she was okay staying at home without Flor, taking care of his kittens, and cooking dinner for him. And apparently, Flor hadn't said or done anything in the past few days to make her suspicious.
I'm the other woman.
My throat closed up.
And the sister.
The worst part of it all was that no matter what I did or how guilty I looked, nobody would even consider the possibility that Flor and I had done what we'd done. It was too taboo, too far outside a normal person's comfort zone. I looked down at the toes of my tan leather Steve Madden boots, another gift from Addi.
Say no and walk out the door, Abi. Make up an excuse to go.
I glanced up, the words dying on my lips when I heard a key being inserted into the lock on the front door. Crap. Max or Florian, I didn't really want to run into either of them right now. I mean, I'd come over here looking for Flor, but talking to him about what had happened with Rhonda around, yeah. Not happening.
“Hey baby,” Rhonda called out, opening the oven and checking on whatever was inside. “We're in the kitchen!” I stood there facing the window to the backyard, my chest tight and my breath coming in labored gasps. A song was playing lightly in the background, so I hoped nobody would notice, but I should've known better – this was Flor.
I listened to his footsteps, the cry of kittens, and saw him pause in the entrance to the kitchen from the corner of my eye. I refused to look his way, not yet.
Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 42