“I ruined our family,” I whispered. “I'm sorry.”
“No,” Flor growled sharply, squeezing me even tighter. “You didn't. What happened back there … there were a lot of feelings that needed to come out. Your dad's never liked me, and my mom's always kind of resented him for it.”
“But they're the perfect couple,” I whispered and Flor snorted.
“Even perfect couples fight every now and again. Some things needed to be said and they were. It wasn't pretty, but it happened.” He paused and I felt his breath catch. “Besides, it doesn't matter. They're adults and we're adults. They can do what they want to do and so can we. Abi, I spent all these years avoiding an 'us' for this very reason, but now that I've let myself have you … I could never let you go. I'd choose you first for infinity.”
My throat closed up and Addi excused herself, grabbing Patrick by the arm and steering him from the room.
Flor ran his hand down my side and rested it on my hip, just over my tattoo, and then we sat in pained silence for awhile.
“I'll talk to my mom again,” Flor said finally, breaking the quiet and drawing his cell from his pocket. He dialed her up and got no answer, shooting off a quick text before he scooted me off of his lap. “Just as soon as I can get ahold of her.”
I watched a frown cross his lips and sat up, feeling groggy and waterlogged, like my emotions were too heavy to bear. But bear them I would. This thing with Flor and me, it would work. I would make sure of that.
“First,” I told him, reaching out a thumb to brush his bloody lip. One of his lip rings was missing again. Not good. He flinched, but he didn't pull away. “We need to get you cleaned up.”
Flor showered and switched into a change of clothes that he'd left in my top right dresser drawer for our sleepovers before planting a searing kiss on my mouth and leaving to find his mom. Meanwhile, I paced and let Addi force a beer on me, gazing down at my phone and wondering if I should just delete all of the voicemail that my dad had left me. It couldn't be good, really. None of it could. In the back of my mind, I held onto the hope that my dad would just give up and turn a blind eye, pretend none of this was happening and go on like he always had, but I knew the situation had grown beyond that, morphed into a monster that I wasn't capable of controlling.
“River's a grown ass woman, Abi. If she doesn't want anyone to find her, it's not like it's hard. Maybe she got a hotel room for the night? Stopped over at a friend's house? Hell, she could be sitting in her office right now trying to figure things out.” Addi paused and twirled the empty brown bottle in her hands, eyes focused on the label and not on me. “As for your dad, maybe you should hear what he has to say? Running from things won't make them any better.”
“I know,” I moaned, slumping over the counter and gazing at Addi from the corner of my eye. “Logically, I get that, but at the same time, I'm terrified of what he's going to say, how he's going to look at me.”
“Then maybe it really is best that you go and see him, talk with him about this when Flor and River aren't around. Honestly,” Addi said, her voice getting that I told you so tone in it, “that might've been a better way to go about it to begin with. If you two hadn't been rutting in the hallway – ”
I cut her off.
“We were not rutting,” I said indignantly, standing up straight. “We were … necking or something.” I flushed. “And anyway, River hasn't stopped over here once since we moved in. How was I supposed to know that she was just going to randomly show up today? At the most inopportune moment, too.” I sighed and rested my fingertips on the counter. My homework problem hadn't disappeared with the revelation and there were a ton of errands I still needed to take care of.
I looked Addi straight in the eyes.
“Oh hell no,” she said, sounding like Theo for a second, all sass and snark. “I am not going with you to talk to your dad.”
“Addi, please. He actually likes you. If you're there and you show him there's nothing to worry about, that I've got someone on my end who supports me, then it might help.”
“I think you've gone completely bat shit,” she said, but she was already standing up and adjusting her outfit just so.
“Thank you,” I blurted before she'd even agreed, coming around the counter to give her a hug. “When you and Patrick have your first kid, I promise to babysit.” Addi rolled her eyes and hugged me back.
“Trust me, for this, you'll be babysitting all my kids every weekend, birthday, and holiday. And I can assure you, I'm going to collect.”
My dad's car was still in the driveway when Addi and I got to the house. Somehow, I'd managed to make the short drive into an adventure, steering us off on other enterprises. I'd stopped by the store and picked up a few nonperishables, filled up at the gas station, and deposited an eight month old check that I'd gotten from Flor's grandma for my birthday. Eighteen dollars richer and forced to feel Addi's scrutinizing gaze as I weaved around town desperately trying to avoid the unavoidable.
“I can't do this,” I told her as we pulled up and sat there in silence for several moments. “I can't face him.”
“Abi,” Addison said, turning and taking my hands in hers. “If you really love Flor which, to be honest with you, you must because nobody in their right mind would put themselves through so much shit for a fling, then you can do this. Once it's over, no matter what happens, at least it'll be done. You can stop worrying and wondering and get on with your life. Now,” she reached over and unhooked my seatbelt, “stand up and move your ass up those steps.”
I sighed and did as she said, relieved when she got out of the car and came with me. I'd been half-expecting her to bail.
“Dad?” I asked, stepping quietly inside with Addi on my heels. He wasn't in the living or dining rooms, so I checked the kitchen and saw him out back, elbows on his knees, sitting on one of my stepmother's DIY Adirondack chairs. “Dad?” I slid open the back door and he turned to look at me, a frown creasing his lips as I slipped outside. Instead of coming after me, Addison shut the door behind me and locked it. That bitch. I turned back to my dad and swallowed hard.
“What the hell are you thinking, Abigail?” he asked me, turning his gaze back to my stepmother's garden. It was so perfectly tended, not a weed in sight. All organic, of course. River didn't believe in pesticides, so she pulled each and every weed out by hand, even the spiky ones. “Florian, even in the best of circumstances, is not a man that you should be betting your future on.” He scoffed and shook his head as I leaned against the glass and tried to still the frantic beating of my heart. “Even then, he's your brother, Abi.”
“Step,” I corrected, as I'd done a million times before. My dad glanced sharply over at me.
“You grew up together,” he said, voice hard and unyielding. “I brought him up as my own son. Just like River treated you as her daughter.”
“I grew up with Addi, too,” I said. “I've known her longer than I've known Flor even. And Max. I knew him just as long. Dad, Flor was never a brother to me. He's … the childhood friend I always dreamed of being with.” I flushed bright and looked away. This was not the kind of conversation I wanted to be having with my father. “Besides, you never treated him like a son. Dad, you've always hated Flor.”
“I don't hate him,” he blustered, but I wasn't done talking.
“And River's always been nice to me, but like a distant aunt or something. She was never really my mother either. That whole my kid, my problem thing you guys worked out might've been the perfect solution to keep your relationship strong, but Flor and I aren't siblings, Dad. And I'm in love with him.” I took a shaking breath. “And please don't make me choose one or the other of you. It would break me.” I felt a little like Ariel in The Little Mermaid, but brushed that aside. This wasn't a shallow, fleeting feeling that would fade with time. Obviously I'd tried that. Didn't work. My love for Flor was like one of my stepmother's weeds. No matter how many times you tried to get rid of it, it came back. And besides, what is a wee
d really anyway? Just a native plant that grows well where it's supposed to, just something whose value hasn't been discovered yet.
I took a step forward.
“If you think you're going to get my permission to … to … sleep with your brother then you have another thing coming, Abigail.” My dad cringed like he'd been struck, shaking his head and standing up. Luckily, when he moved to the sliding door, it was unlocked. Addi, you sneaky bastard. I followed after him as he moved into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine.
“I'm not asking for your permission,” I told him, putting my fingers in my pockets like Flor always did. “I'm telling you the truth. I'm telling you what's going to happen and hoping you love me enough to accept me for it. Flor and I are going to be together.”
“And how did you think it would work when you got married? Had a child?” My father sipped his drink and checked his cell, but he didn't look at me.
“There's no law against marrying your stepbrother.” I slid my eyes away and focused on the floor. Call me a weirdo, but it was true: I'd checked. And why should there be? Flor and I were not related, and I didn't consider him my sibling. I didn't care if anybody else did. They hadn't lived my life and it wasn't their happiness that was on the line: it was mine.
“It's sick, Abigail. I don't care if there's a law on the books or not. You have a moral obligation to act a certain way.” My dad turned to me and our eyes locked, his just as blue as my own. I wondered suddenly about my mother and what might've happened if she were still around, if Flor and I had met on the street instead. “What about your sister, Abi? Don't you want to have a future with her? If this continues, I don't know if you will.”
My eyes filled with tears, but I pushed them back, forcing my hands to stay in my pockets, so I didn't clench my fists.
“It's just love, Dad. We're not hurting anyone.”
“Abigail, stop. This discussion is over. You heard what I had to say. Florian is a cancer and I'm cutting him out of our lives.”
“What about River?” I asked, refusing to let this go. I had a feeling that if I dropped the ball now, I might never be able to pick it up again. “Do you really think she's going to abandon her son?”
“River can make her own choices,” he said, but his voice broke a little on the last word.
“Dad, where is she?” I asked, but he shook his head.
“Abigail, maybe you should consider moving back in with me.”
I glared at him and blinked back tears.
“No.”
He whirled on me then, a fit of anger and rage and such overwhelming sadness that I thought I was going to die from the onrush of emotions.
“Either you'll move back in here and say goodbye to Florian or we're done.”
“You'd give up on me?” I asked. “Just for that?”
“I gave your mother the same choice when she started drinking again, and she chose alcohol over you. Don't make the same mistake, Abigail.”
“This is different,” I said, but I could see the look in his eyes. It was going to take something big, huge, to change his mind. He truly believed this was the same, that Flor was a drug. At times, he'd felt like one, but I was in love with him. I wasn't giving him up.
“Dad,” I started again, but he cut me off, moving across the kitchen and getting too close for comfort.
“Do you want people to look at you differently for the rest of your life? Do you want to be judged? Ridiculed? You won't be accepted if you do this. It isn't right.”
“Honestly, Art,” Addi said, moving into the room and taking my hand in hers. “If we all lived our lives in fear of that, we'd still be building houses out of mud and thatch. Patrick and I wouldn't be together right now, and Theo and Yuu,” she glanced over at me as my dad cringed, “wouldn't be out looking fabulous. I know you love your daughter and want what's best for her, but really, and you know I don't say this lightly, I think the best might be Flor.”
Addi exhaled and shook her hands out, like the words had physically pained her. She wasn't big on speeches and even less so on 'mushy, heartfelt crap', but she was here and she supported me, so I considered myself lucky.
My dad didn't look impressed.
“I appreciate the fact that you want to support your friend, Addison, but I'm sorry. A few well chosen words aren't going to change my mind on the matter.” He paused when his phone rang and frowned at the caller ID before answering. “Art Sharp speaking.”
I watched the change in his face, watched it morph from bad to worse.
His stricken expression made me feel dizzy. What now? As if the situation wasn't bad enough already.
That big thing, that huge one, that I needed to make him see, it had just happened.
Too bad it was impossible for me to be happy about it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I found Flor waiting in the parking lot of the hospital, sitting on the hood of the silver Mazda he'd had since he was eighteen. His arms were crossed tight over his chest, but it was hard for me to appreciate them given the circumstances. When he glanced up at me, I looked down, staring into the blue eyes of the vampire girl on his right forearm; it was easier to stare at her than to try and decipher the expression on his face.
“She won't see me?” he asked, and I shook my head. My stepmom, always slender and chic and put together, had been a wreck, lying in that hospital bed with a faraway look that made it easy to forgive her for the things she'd said about me earlier today. This is not just Florian's fault. Maybe your daughter seduced him? Did you ever think of that? The family fight of the century felt like it'd taken place weeks ago, not hours.
“She started to cry when I went in,” I said, trying not to feel hurt by her rejection. I swallowed hard against the emotions. Today had been so full of angst and frustration and yes, an overwhelming sense of love for Florian. He hadn't backed down, not even against his mother or the wild flying fists of my father. He'd declared his love for me blatantly and without apology. I would've smiled, but the situation didn't really allow for it. The air was humid and heavy, yet somehow it was still freezing cold outside. I guess winter really was on its way. “My dad literally told me to get the fuck out.”
My head snapped up as Flor's boots scraped across the pavement and he came over to stand next to me, putting his hands on my upper arms. I shivered at the sudden rush of warmth and finally gathered the courage to look up into those beautiful eyes of his. They had this oh so subtle slant to them that made me wonder where Flor's father had been from. He definitely hadn't gotten those from Gram Gram's Germanic heritage.
“No more little sister?” he asked softly and this time, I knew he wasn't talking about me.
I shook my head.
“No more little sister,” I said, wondering if he'd be angry with me. River's miscarriage was not our fault. I knew that because I'd been standing there when the doctor said it, when he'd assured my dad that the stress of today wasn't to blame. According to him, women over forty have a one in two chance of late term miscarriage. Unfortunately, my dad didn't seem to see it that way. When he'd told me to leave, his voice laced with heartache, I'd seen it in his eyes. I was terrified of seeing that same look in Flor's.
I watched him closely as he brushed a loose strand of hair over my shoulder. In those emerald eyes, I saw guilt and frustration and maybe a little bit of shame, but I didn't see anger. He doesn't blame me. I licked my lips nervously.
“Flor, I'm sorry,” I said, but he was already shaking his head, bracketing my face between his warm hands. His scent washed over me, mixing with the damp smell of rain and storm that was clinging to the air around us. Flor leaned down and looked me straight in the face.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Abi.” I tried to nod, but Flor held me firmly in place. “Abigail, don't. Don't blame yourself for what happened today.” Flor sighed and released me, running his hands down my upper arms, just like he'd done that night three years ago, outside of a party I never should've been at. “E
ven if my mom hadn't found us out, she still would've lost the baby, and this fight would've happened anyway, down the line somewhere.”
“I know,” I said, leaning into him, relishing the warmth of Flor's body, “but the hope is gone, Flor. My dad will never forgive me for this. Never.”
“If your dad's too stubborn to realize that this wasn't our fault, that you're so worth loving even my presence shouldn't be able to diminish his affections for you, then he's an idiot.” Flor touched my chin and made me look at him again. “And Abi, now that we're together, you have to know, the hope … it's always there.”
Flor pressed his lips to mine, softly, sweetly, gently.
He was right, of course, but only time would tell if my father could see it that way.
I squinted at the test tube in front of me, filled with wheat germ, warm water, and dish soap. The top layer was entirely alcohol, drawing up little white strands of DNA that were supposed to be put on a slide and inserted into the microscope at my elbow. Don't ask what wheat germ DNA has to do with forensic science; it's a mystery to me, too.
I was paired up with Camo Girl again, doing my best to ignore her mumbling and her ridiculously over the top flirting with our instructor. He was kind of a jerk anyway, but I wasn't sure if I'd wish this girl on anyone. In the last thirty minutes, she'd already managed to break two glass beakers and come this close to spilling boiling hot water on my bare arm.
I finished the sketch in my lab book and took a step back, watching as she inserted a pipette and sucked up some of the liquid. I wasn't surprised when she splashed the majority of it on the countertop instead of the slide. I took the opportunity to check my phone while she fumbled around, and saw that there was a text from Flor.
Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 51