by J M Wolf
“Were you able to fix her?” Jace asked after taking a deep breath to calm himself down.
Desiree nodded while chuckling. “I was able to, but holy fuck, was it a pain. I know I’ll never be able to forget that hair though.”
“I wish we could’ve seen it,” Jace said looking at me when he did.
My heart jumped at the sound of that. Jace said we, me included. I knew it was stupid to be jubilant about something as small as him saying we, but I couldn’t help it. He was thinking of me.
Desiree said, “Oh my God, you guys would’ve died. I had to do a lot of shit to her hair, which including a lot of cutting and a LOT of hair dye.”
“Did she end up bald in places?” I asked.
“Yes. Luckily I carry lots of hair extensions to help with that. While I was fixing her up, she decided to tell me about how her week was going. She was telling me about how she saw her ex-boyfriend with a new girl in his arms near the pier in her town, and she was going on and on about how she looked like a tramp and how could he replace her with that, and blah, blah, blah. I hadn’t gotten the color out of her hair yet, so it took everything in me not to say someone’s green with jealousy.”
We started laughing again, and then Jace began singing, You’re a Mean One, Mister Grinch, which caused the laughter to go up a few volumes. I loved seeing Jace laughing and having a good time. His face was bright red from laughing so much, and his smile a ray of sunshine. I knew he was still hurting inside, but he was able to let it go and have a good time. It made me hate that man from earlier even more, especially after knowing he was the cause of Jace’s pain.
“So, Jace, I couldn’t help but notice you were singing again,” Desiree said sounding like a proud mother.
The peaceful look Jace was wearing fell instantly, but he managed to force a smile to stay. “Yeah, I was.”
“How did it feel?”
“Like I never stopped,” Jace said with a more genuine smile.
I could tell that despite the turmoil he went through that created his new song, he was ecstatic to be working on music again. It was his passion, and from what I witnessed upstairs he had a natural born talent for it. If he kept pushing himself to keep working on it, I could see him becoming a professional musician performing all over the world or selling his songs to famous artists.
“I’m so glad to see you find your muse again. I missed hearing you work so hard on your music,” Desiree said.
Jace blushed as he gave his aunt his thanks.
When dinner ended, Jace went up to his room to see if he could write another song. I stayed behind to help Desiree put up the food and take care of the dishes. I was in the middle of handwashing our plates when I felt the woman tap my shoulder. I stopped what I was doing and faced her.
“I want to thank you, Gerard,” Desiree said softly.
I shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I don’t mind helping with the cleanup.”
Desiree shook her head. “I’m not talking about this,” she gestured toward the dishes then pointed up the stairs, “I’m talking about Jace.”
“What do you mean?”
Her eyes held such sadness in them as she looked up at me with her family’s trademark cobalt blue eyes. “Gerard, do you know how long it’s been since I’ve last seen Jace so much as giggle, let alone full out laugh, joke around, and have a good time?”
“I can only imagine.”
Desiree stood next to me leaning herself back against the counter. “Riley would’ve loved to see Jace working on his music again,” Desiree said softly.
I nodded in agreement.
Desiree turned to face me. “He also would be thanking you for bringing life back into his eyes too.”
I hung my head feeling dread festering. “I don’t know how happy he’d be after knowing…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. How could I tell my dead boyfriend’s sister that I was lusting after his son, her nephew? It would appear I didn’t need to.
“Gerard, I know you have feelings for Jace.”
I shot a questioning look her way, not trusting in my voice.
Desiree grinned. “I’m blonde, but I’m not stupid. I could also see it today at dinner. I saw the way you guys kept stealing glances at one another, and I saw the warm smile you had at watching Jace enjoying life again. I know that look. Do you know where from?”
Still not trusting in the strength of my voice, I shook my head.
“I saw it on Riley’s face when he told me about you. That spark in his eyes that told me he was beginning to feel whole again. That he was finding his way to live; that he’d found love. Gerard, I see that same look in your eyes when you look at Jace.”
My emotions threatened to get the best of me. Hearing Desiree describe the look in Riley’s eyes made me remember all the times I saw it for myself. The look that told me that Riley Garrison loved me. I’d seen it all the times we hid from the public to steal a few kisses while overseas.
I saw it when we shared our first R&R together when he stayed at my place for a week before we went back. All the times I held him close in bed and looked into his eyes; when I held his face in the shower. It was how I knew he was the one for me.
Now, Desiree was saying that she saw it in my eyes when I looked at Jace. She was right. Every time I held Jace close to me; I could feel pieces of my shattered heart slowly being put back together. But could it be something permanent?
“I can tell you have worries,” Desiree said.
I finally found my voice. “You can?”
Desiree nodded. “I can make a few assumptions as to what those worries may be. But Gerard, life is too short to let obstacles keep you from going after who and what you want. You and Jace need each other.”
“But, Riley…” I began to say.
“I’m sure Riley would want the two most important men in his life to be happy,” Desiree cut in.
I was speechless.
“Gerard, Riley’s gone, and he’s not coming back. Don’t use him as an excuse to not find your second chance at happiness. The same second chance you gave him before he died.”
Thank you for this second chance at happiness. Riley’s heartfelt words in the back of our picture. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I tried, but I couldn’t I sank to the ground covering my face and cried.
I cried because the world was cruel and unfair. I cried because a good man was taken from us while despicable people like that guy who hurt Jace still roamed the Earth. I cried because I knew my feelings for Jace were growing, and it terrified me. I cried because the two most important men in my life suffered so much, and now one of them was no more.
Desiree sank to the floor next to me and held me in her arms. She was the strongest woman I’d ever met in my life. I could now fully understand why Jace didn’t want her knowing about what happened at the farmers’ market. There’s only so much strength a person could have before they finally broke down. I was now more determined than ever to get to the bottom of whatever demons lurked within Jace’s past and protect him from whoever was hurting him. If that guy was the puppet master, I was going to be the one who cut the strings he used to ensnare Jace.
Jace
I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed so much. Dinner was exciting, and I found myself loving every moment of it. Desiree’s crazy story about her client with the jacked up hair cheered me up after the day I’d had. Looking around and seeing myself, Desiree and Gerard loving each other’s company was like being in heaven. It was like we were slowly finding our rhythm again.
While Aunt Desiree and Gerard were taking care of cleanup duty, I decided to bring my boxes of music stuff from the garage back into my room. After organizing everything back to where they once were, I sat on my bed with my journal in my lap, working on some new lyrics. I decided to write a song for Gerard. Seeing his reaction to my song Puppet did something to me. He thought I was talented. He listened and paid attention to the words. He understood what I was saying in my music; that I wanted to b
e saved and he wanted to be the one to save me from Brett.
Save me from Brett. How many times had I secretly wished for someone to help me? I say secretly because realistically I was too proud to ever ask for help. The song was my way of asking someone, anyone, to come to my rescue. Gerard answered my distress.
Soon enough he’d be calling me to talk to him about Brett. I hated the idea of telling the man I was crushing on the shit I got myself into and how stupid I was to get myself into it to begin with. Gerard was the main person I didn’t want looking at me differently once he found out, especially since we’d already got past the rocky start of our first encounter. I didn’t want my skeletons ruining the progress we’d made.
“Jace?” I heard Gerard call from the direction of his room.
And so it began. “Yeah?”
“Can you come in here, please?”
I sighed knowing full well there was no use trying to prolong the inevitable and exited my room heading for Gerard’s. His door was already cracked open, so I slowly pushed it open the rest of the way. Gerard sat at the edge of the bed facing the direction of the door. He was barefoot, but still in his jeans. The shirt he’d worn was off, but he had on a white tank top that hid little to nothing. My tongue stilled in my mouth, and my dick awoke from its long slumber, despite how much it worked that morning.
Gerard smirked. “Stop fantasizing about me being naked and come here.”
“How do you know I was picturing you naked? Someone’s full of himself,” I challenged.
“I saw that lustful, hungry look you’re wearing right now all morning. I’d recognize it instantly now.”
And I lost the challenge. I chuckled and closed the distance between us, straddling Gerard’s lap. Gerard’s hands instinctively wrapped themselves around my hips to hold me in place as we shared a hungry kiss. I deepened the kiss and began rocking my hips against his, feeling his own cock starting to fill. He growled into my mouth, and I swallowed it down.
I was about to rectify the fact that we were both fully clothed, but Gerard pulled back shaking his head.
“Nice try, Bluejay. The sooner we talk about that guy, the sooner we get to the fun part of our night.”
Dammit, it was worth a shot. Besides, bringing up Brett was already causing my libido to shrivel up like I just poured ice water down my pants.
“Fine,” I sighed. “But I get sexual favors for this.”
Gerard chuckled then laid us both on our sides facing each other.
“Tell me about the guy, Jace,” Gerard said as his previous amusement died and was replaced by a look of determination.
I took Gerard’s hand in mine and clutched it tight, needing his strength if I was going to have this conversation. “What do you want to know?”
“Well, let’s start with who is he?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but my fear closed it back shut and I mentally cursed myself for being so weak.
“Jace, baby, look at me,” Gerard whispered.
The term of endearment forced me to look up at him. It was the second time Gerard had called me baby, and I loved it.
“Whatever is preventing you from telling me needs to go away. I promise you can trust me.”
“I trust you,” I croaked. “I’m just afraid you’ll look at me differently. Like I’m childish or stupid or something.”
Gerard brought our joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of my knuckles. “I won’t judge you, Jace. I swear it. So, please, tell me who he is.”
Oh, well. I might as well take the gamble and fess up. “His name is Brett Summers.”
“Okay, was he someone you dated?” Gerard asked.
I nodded. “I guess you can say that. In Brett’s eyes, we were dating, but because of how we knew each other, we couldn’t make our relationship public.”
Gerard’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
The moment of truth. I braced myself as best as I could to prepare myself for the rejection if it came. “Brett was more than just someone I was secretly dating, I guess. He…he was also my professor at Julliard.”
Gerard’s whole body stilled at my confession. “Are you kidding me?”
I shook my head then squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable judgment to come. I waited a beat to hear when the harsh words would slip from his mouth. None did. I waited a moment longer, and still nothing. Gerard wasn’t saying anything. I slowly opened my eyes to see Gerard staring at me; his expression was unreadable.
“He was your professor?” Gerard asked.
I nodded.
“Jesus, Jace. Tell me you told his boss about it.”
I shook my head.
“Why?”
“Before I left I swore I would tell the Dean about his inappropriate relationship with a student. Brett fired back that he’d make sure that the Dean, the whole school, and my dad would know that I, in his words, whored myself out to my teacher for special treatment.”
“So he blackmailed you,” Gerard said matter-of-factly.
I nodded, unable to look him in the eyes. “We got together after he came onto me at his house. I was participating in a music competition and was practicing night and day. Brett invited me to his place to help me practice on the piano. Once there, he started putting the moves on me, kissing and touching me. I said no, but he pressed on. Eventually, I caved and woke up naked in his bed.
“He insisted that he wanted to be with me and that our relationship was special, saying all the right things that would warm my heart over. I was dumb enough to believe him, so we were secretly dating.”
“In your song, you said you wear his bruises as proof,” Gerard said, his voice shaking.
“Yeah, he used to hit me. That much should be obvious by the way he acted at the farmer’s market. When my threat didn’t get me anywhere, I just kept it to myself. After a year, I couldn’t do it anymore. I pretended I was sick so I could stay home, then when Brett left to teach his morning classes, I packed up and left. The end.”
“He’s the reason you dropped out of school?” Gerard asked.
“Yeah. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I was afraid Brett would follow through on his threat, so I took myself out of the equation. Leaving my education, my friends, and my dreams behind.”
Gerard pulled me to his body and held me tight. His scent of lavender mixed with his own original smell filled my nostrils, and I breathed him in. Telling Gerard what happened wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. He listened and didn’t judge me. And I guess after writing the song, I was able to free the tension I had over what went down at Juilliard.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Jace. I’m so fucking sorry you had to endure all that,” Gerard whispered in my ear.
“It’s all in the past,” I mumbled against his chest. “I may not know why he was in town earlier, but in some strange way I’m glad. I wasn’t able to stand up to him before, and now I can. I held my ground and didn’t give in to him. I took away his power over me.”
“You did, and I’m so proud of you for doing that. See? You’re stronger than you gave yourself credit for. You’re talented, caring, passionate, and strong-willed. You’re amazing.”
His words went straight to my heart and I lifted up my head to take his mouth in mine. My hands followed suit to cup his cheeks. His arms around my waist tightened, and I never wanted him to release me. I wanted to be in his arms for the rest of my life, then find him in our next lives and have his arms around me again. I would always want him. I quickly realized that.
I pulled away from the most heated kiss of my life and rested my forehead against his. We were panting, our eyes closed, but we saw each other in more ways than simple sight. We could see right through one another, our affection, our fears, our joy, our sorrow. It was all on display for us to bear witness.
“My shield,” I whispered.
Gerard chuckled. “Your shield? Shouldn’t I be your warrior or something?”
I shook my head. “I�
��m the warrior, in this case, fighting through the chaos that is my life, but you're the shield in my arms who’s protecting me from the heavy blows that would lead me into the darkness. You shield me so I can keep moving forward.”
“Jace,” Gerard whispered with hooded eyes as he stared at me in awe.
I kissed him again. No more talking, no more worrying about Brett. I didn’t want to think about anything or anybody else for the rest of the night. I just wanted it to be us; Gerard and me.
I pushed the man onto his back, and I laid on top of him, feeling the strength of his body writhing underneath me. The kiss quickly grew heated as I began grinding myself against him. Gerard made that “sexy ass” growl that did things to me, and I could practically feel my dick leaking with the dire need of release.
“Want you,” I whispered into his mouth.
“I want you too, baby, so fucking much,” he growled in return.
God, the man is sexy.
Gerard sat up with me still in his lap. He quickly pulled off my shirt and ravaged my chest as he began nipping at my nipples.
“Fuck,” I groaned leaning my head back.
He grabbed one of my nipples with his teeth and gently sucked on it which caused a surge of electricity to run down my spine. My hands went to his hair as he made that low growl while going for the other nipple. I pressed down against his groin, feeling his thick cock pressing against my ass begging to be inside me, but the layers of clothes were preventing his shaft from entering. Again, I hated clothes.
I was about to protest once again about how there were still clothes on our bodies, but then Gerard’s kisses moved from my neck down my chest and abdomen, and I swore to God I felt my brain turn to mush. He turned us around and laid me on my back so he could continue his trail down to my bellybutton and the fine trails of hair that vanished inside my pants. Gerard undid my pants and pulled down the zipper kissing the newly exposed skin that was present in his view. My dick was already rock hard, and the head was peeking out of the band of my boxer briefs.