by J M Wolf
Desiree turned to face me then took my hand in hers giving it a gentle squeeze to show her support.
Jace continued, “I spent the past year pretending to be okay when I wasn’t, fighting with everybody who didn’t believe me. But then a man I’d never met before showed up two weeks ago and was able to open up the flood gates that unleashed everything I was trying to contain. I miss my dad every day. His sister misses him. His former boyfriend misses him.
“As we continue to grow older, there will be a lot of things that’ll happen that he’ll miss out on, and it sucks to think that. But I want him to know that the people he loves will be okay. My aunt will continue to support me on my new musical journey. I have a boss who is pretty much another father figure. My godmother and god-brother will continue to have my back. And I have a man who I have fallen head over heels in love with, who I’m sure will continue to push me forward.
“While I may not know what the future will have in store for any of us, if there’s one thing I learned from all this, it’s to never take life for granted. Because you never know when your time will be up. So, I will continue to live my life to the fullest, and I’m sure all of us will too. I encourage it. Live, love, and enjoy what life has to offer with no regrets.”
The moment Jace finished speaking, the audience clapped in unison. I was moved to tears by Jace’s amazing speech. He was strong. As strong as his father. I knew if Riley was in heaven, he was smiling down at Jace right at that moment.
When everyone quieted down, Jace looked to Adam tilting his chin up before making his way to the piano. Adam followed him, standing right in front of the instrument, microphone in hand. Jace had a microphone on a stand next to him. They were going to sing together.
“I may not be blood related, but Mr. Garrison was like a father to me, especially when my actual dad passed away due to heart failure. So, I’ll be performing with Jace and fuck anyone who doesn’t like it,’’ Adam said through the mic.
The pastor loudly cleared his throat, glaring at Adam. I’d assumed it was because of Adam swearing in Church.
“Oh, go suck a dick Hank!” Adam shouted through the mic at the pastor.
The audience, including Jace, chuckled at that. All except for Hank who looked mortified, and Patricia who covered her face like she couldn’t believe that was her son. Poor Patricia.
Adam and Jace nodded to one another and Jace began to play the piano. I instantly recognized the song from the YouTube video Desiree showed me. It was his song Gone But Not Forgotten. A perfect song for that moment. Jace and Adam took turns singing the verses, but then came together in perfect harmony during the chorus. I could tell they were used to singing together because they were in perfect sync without even trying. It was mesmerizing.
When the song ended, everyone cheered, and I was on my feet clapping the loudest. Adam and Jace stood at the center, hands clasped together and took a bow. Afterwards, Jace and I made it to the cemetery to visit Riley’s grave. Desiree went back to the house to get dinner ready, knowing full well we needed to do this alone. Jace held two bouquets and handed one to me. I stood there as Jace kneeled in front of his father’s tombstone and set the flowers down.
“I miss you, Dad,” Jace whispered. “I’m sorry if I made you worry, but I’m okay now. Better than okay, and it’s all thanks to Gerard. He’s taken very good care of me while he was here. I have him to thank for helping me find myself again.”
Jace closed his eyes as a fresh set of tears fell. “I hate that you’re not here to see the start of my music career, but I know you’re watching over me. I thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I love you, Dad.”
Jace stood up and stepped aside for me to kneel. Setting my bouquet down, I looked up to see the writing on the tombstone.
Riley Jacob Garrison
March 12, 1980 – August 23, 2017
Beloved Father, and Brother
A man who fought for his country
“Riley,” I whispered. “I wish I had more opportunity to tell you how much I was glad to have met you while you were still alive. I never expected to find love in the heart of the battlefield, but that’s exactly what I found when I met you. You were a wounded soul, but had the heart of a soldier. You weren’t afraid to approach me and ask me out. Even though I was hesitant, you never backed away. You believed that we deserved a chance to be together.
“You thanked me for being your second chance at happiness, and I never felt happier that I was able to give that to you. I never had the chance of proposing to you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. That was my dream, and for a while I couldn’t understand why you were taken from me. I was lost too, but I kept living because I knew that’s what you would’ve wanted.”
I turned to look back at Jace who gave me a warm smile. I glanced back to Riley’s grave.
“Then I came to Abingdon, and I met your sister and son. While Jace may think I helped him find himself, he really did that all on his own. He has your strength and determination, Riley. He’s an amazing young man.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I fell in love with Jace, Riley. I love him, and he loves me. While it may not have been what I expected, I don’t regret it. He’s been a light in my life, and I promise I will do everything in my power to keep him safe and happy. As much as it hurts to do it, I have to let you go.” I sighed then stood up. “Watch over us, Riley.”
Jace stepped closer and wrapped himself around my arm. “That was beautiful, Gerard.”
“So was yours,” I replied kissing the top of his head.
I looked up to see the sun was setting. I was scheduled to leave in the morning. My time was almost up, but I wasn’t going to let it go to waste.
“Jace,” I said. “Will you come with me to the waterfall at the Creeper Trail?”
Jace looked up at me in confusion. “Um, sure, but why?”
“There’s something I want to do there.”
Jace
The sun was setting just as Gerard and I stepped through the thick trees and made it to the waterfall. I was glad to have more alone time with Gerard before I had to say goodbye to him in the morning. Even though my heart stung at the realization that my house was going to be a lot more empty without Gerard, and I wouldn’t be sharing a bed or a shower with him anymore, hearing his words at my father’s grave assured me that we would make it despite the coming distance. I held onto hope.
Stepping in front of him but keeping my hands entwined in his, I asked, “So you never really told me why we’re here. I mean, you said you wanted to do something here, but never specified what it was. I’m clueless here.”
Gerard had an impish smile as he released my left hand to fish out his phone from his pocket. He scrolled through something before hitting a button, and before I knew it, a song came on. It took me a moment to recognize the song as Unlove You by Anthem Lights. Gerard set the volume as loud as he could before placing it on the ground next to us then looked back to me.
“Jace Garrison, may I have this dance?” Gerard asked.
My heartbeat maximized at Gerard’s request for a slow dance. “Really?”
Gerard nodded.
“Then I’d be honored,” I officially accepted.
Gerard led me to the center of the field holding my right hand up, my left hand resting on his shoulder, and his right hand on my hip. Once we were set, we began our waltz. Here I was, Jace Garrison, slow dancing with the love of my life at sunset near the most breathtaking view of the waterfall. This was something I thought only existed in fairytales, yet here it was happening to me.
I pressed myself tighter against Gerard’s body, resting my head on his shoulder as we continued dancing. Somewhere in the middle of the song Gerard began softly singing the words to the song in my ear. Singing about how far we’d come and how we’re so close. Once again, I found myself crying, but this time they were tears of happiness and love. I knew the song by heart, so I found myself gently singing along with him.
W
hen the music picked up, so did our waltz as Gerard began twirling me around him before picking me up in a bridal hold and spun us around. This must be a fairytale. I must be dreaming. But if I was, I hoped I’d sleep forever because I refused to wake from this moment. I started thinking about the ballroom scene from Beauty and the Beast, one of my favorite scenes ever and marveled how beautiful that must’ve been. I imagined that ballroom scene, but with Gerard and I dancing instead of Belle and the Beast.
When the song ended, Gerard and I kissed as if it was our first kiss all over again. Every kiss with this man felt like it was our first over and over again, and I hoped that never changed. Gerard laid me down on the grass with him on top of me. As the sky turned dark, we found ourselves in each other’s embrace, naked with our clothes scattered all over the place, horny and in love.
Gerard used the packet of lube he had in his wallet to coat his cock and my hole before sliding himself inside me. I moaned and arched my back as the familiar sting of penetration filled my senses. Gerard swallowed down my moans as he breached my outer walls and began slowly thrusting into me. We never stopped kissing as he continued making love to me with everything he had, and I could feel his love down to my bones.
I held Gerard’s face close to mine as his dick continued sliding in and out of me. His hand ran down my stomach until he gripped my aching dick and began stroking me, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. It felt so fucking good, and I knew it wouldn’t take too long before my release came. I wanted to cum so bad, but I wanted this moment to last forever more. I never wanted the night to end.
“Gerard,” I whimpered, and that was all the warning I could give before my body tightened and I spilled all over myself.
Gerard was right behind me as his cum coated my insides, permanently branding me as his. We lay there in the grass panting and spent, but I was happier than I’d been all day. I kissed Gerard’s forehead who in return kissed my neck, my collarbone, my chest; but started coming for my forehead, my cheek, my nose, and finally my lips. Now, I had a new reason to say this place was my favorite spot on the Creeper Trail. A reason that only Gerard and I would know about.
“So I guess this is it, huh?” I asked as Gerard placed his bag in the trunk before turning back to face me. We were standing mere inches from one another, Desiree and Adam were huddled by the front door.
“I’m afraid so, Bluejay,” Gerard said begrudgingly.
“I feel like I’m never going to see you again.”
“Hey,” Gerard reached out to pinch his chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes, “you will see me again. I promise. I’ll be back before you know it.”
I shook his hold off my chin then hugged him, feeling like he would vanish into thin air if I didn’t. He held on just as tightly.
“Thank you for everything, Gerard,” I whispered.
“I should be thanking you. You changed me just as much as I seemed to change you.”
Gerard pulled back taking my face in his hands and giving me a deep soulful kiss. One that would have to last for a good while.
“I love you, Jace Garrison. Never forget that,” Gerard murmured.
I nodded, despite my heart shattering. “I love you too.”
He gave me a quick kiss to his forehead before walking toward Desiree and giving her his love as well, embracing her in his arms.
“Thank you for inviting me here. I will forever be grateful.”
“As will I,” Desiree said with a shaky breath. “Thank you for bringing back the nephew I lost. You’re always welcome here.”
Gerard nodded then pulled away, looking forward to the firey red-head Adam. “Keep him out of trouble for me while I’m gone.”
Adam was uncharacteristically quiet as he nodded.
Gerard then turned back and walked toward the car where I stood next to it, trying my best to stay strong. I reached out and clasped his hands in mine, feeling the strain in my heart.
“I have to go now,” Gerard murmured.
“I know,” I croaked. “An angel brought you to me, Gerard. You were the best thing to happen to me.”
“As were you to me. I’ll see you again, Bluejay.” He quickly kissed me then got into his car.
Within a few more seconds, I heard the engine coming to life, and I stood there in silence as I watched his car drive off, turning the corner before vanishing from my view. I used that time to let go of the gut-wrenching sobs I was holding in. Gerard was gone, and it hurt so much.
“Jace,” I heard Adam whisper as he came up from behind.
I quickly turned and buried myself in his arms as I cried my eyes out. I was now counting down the minutes until I got to see Gerard again. If I ever got to see him again.
Gerard
Every cell in my body was telling me to turn the damn car around and go back to Jace. I desperately wanted to, but something was holding me back, and I wasn’t sure what it was. So I kept driving until I made it to the airport, wondering what it would take for me to realize that I belonged in Abingdon. I belonged with Jace. What the fuck kind of mental war was I having in my head?
I had my hands gripping the steering wheel the entire time wondering what the fuck I was doing. There was a town full of people who actually wanted me around, a young man who loved me. So why was I leaving? Why couldn’t I let myself stay?
Two hours later, I arrived at the airport, and I never dreaded seeing it before in all my life. I went to turn in my rental car then made my way to the front to find out which gate my flight would be. My ticket told me it would be leaving for Tampa in less than an hour. Less than an hour to get back to my life of loneliness and disappointment.
While checking the screen to see which terminal I needed to go to, I heard someone calling my name from behind.
“Gerard!”
For the briefest of moments I thought it was Jace, but it wasn’t. I’d recognize his voice anywhere, after replaying his soft sounds in my head to memory. But I did recognize whose it was.
I turned to face Adam who was standing a few feet away, wearing a black zip-up hoodie with gold flowers printed all over. The hood was covering his burning red hair and he had on gold rimmed sunglasses. If he was trying to desguise himself from the public, he wasn’t doing a good job. He was way too flashy not to be noticed. But seeing him still took me by surprise.
“Adam, what are you doing here?” I asked.
Adam pulled off his sunglasses and narrowed his eyes at me. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to tell you you’re an idiot.”
I had no idea what to say to that, so I just stood there looking dumbfounded.
“Gerard, why are you going back?” Adam asked.
A good question, one I kept asking to myself all the way to the airport. A question I barely knew the answer to.
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully.
Adam sighed. “Dude, if you go on that plane, you’ll be making the biggest mistake of your life. And I believe you know that. You and I both know there is nothing in Tampa worth going back to. What’s there waiting for you, huh? An apartment filled with the ghosts of your past? Douchebag parents who don’t really give a shit about you? A simple job you can easily get here? Yeah, I know about you, Gerard. Jace told me about your current situation. About your parents and your life.
“You belong here in Abingdon. You have people who love you. Jace loves you more than anything in the world, and I know you love him just as much. Yet you’re willing to leave that behind. Do you have any idea how lucky you are?”
“What do you mean?” I asked puzzled, but in awe by what this sparkly man was telling me. I never pegged Adam to be so serious, or to speak with such wisdom and maturity. There was clearly a lot more to him than just the fierce red-head covered in rainbows and glitter.
Adam laughed, but it wasn’t out of amusement. It came out hoarse.
“You really are stupid,” he said before rubbing his face then threw his hands in the air. “Twice in your life you had the opportunity to experien
ce the kind of love people dream about. Twice, you found men who were willing to do anything for you. I would give anything to have that moment. To have someone who would look at me and love me the way Jace does you. And you’re throwing that away all because of what? Because you’re afraid?”
The accusation of being afraid surprisingly tugged at my heartstrings. Was I afraid? Afraid of what?
Adam must’ve seen something in my face because he said, “Ah, so that’s what this is about.”
I sighed in defeat, letting my bag fall to the ground.
“I…I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admitted. “You and Jace have always been able to live the lives you wanted. You guys are so free. I never had that freedom, that luxury. Being here in Abingdon, I got a taste of what it'd be like to live the dream I wanted. Hell, maybe I am afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“The last time I thought I could have that dream, I lost the man I wanted to share it with. I lost Riley, and I don't think I'll be able to survive if I lose Jace too.”
Suddenly my confliction made sense. As much as I wanted to live my life forever with Jace, I was also afraid of it. I was afraid of losing my second chance at happiness.
“You are going to lose Jace, Gerard,” Adam said matter-of-factly.
I looked to the red-head with wide eyes.
“Don't you see it?” Adam asked. “Your own fear is making you lose the life you want. You're so afraid of losing Jace that you don't realize you're making yourself lose him.”
Well shit. I never thought of it that way, but Adam was right. He was right about everything. I was causing my own misery. For two weeks I watched Jace face his inner demons and conquer them. He was able to move forward. So why couldn't I?
Adam stepped closer until I could feel his body heat. He reached up and gripped my shoulder, looking me directly in the eyes. There was something in his gaze that I couldn't pinpoint.