Love, Me x
‘What things?’ I mumble, putting the letter safely into my top drawer with all the others I’ve had so far. ‘We’re going on a bus trip to Norwich, for goodness’ sake. We’re hardly flying by Concorde to New York!’
But secretly I’m quite looking forward to the day out. Not because I’ll be spending it in the vicinity of Danny Lucas, I’m shocked to realise, but because I will be spending it with my new best friend, Charlie.
Charlie and I have seen quite a lot of each other in the past week. In between time spent helping his parents get their new shop up and running, he’s been coming over to my house and helping me to revise for my exams. He’s also taken Wilson for a walk a few times to give me a little more time, which is kind of him, but he says he enjoys it.
Even though Charlie says I’m the funny one, he makes me laugh with his dry comments and unusual take on the world, and I enjoy spending time with him.
The coach picks us up from the promenade, not far from Charlie’s shop, and I’m surprised to see quite a crowd waiting at the stop. These youth club trips must be better than I thought.
I wave at Charlie as I spot him chatting to Duncan Braithwaite.
‘Hey you,’ Charlie says in his now customary greeting to me.
‘Hey yourself,’ I reply, grinning at him. ‘What’s up?’
‘Not much, just talking to Duncan about the trip.’ He gesticulates over his shoulder to where Duncan had been standing a moment ago, but finds he’s already moved on to someone else.
‘Ah, he’s probably found someone with more exciting things to chat about,’ Charlie says, making light of it, but I can tell he’s hurt by Duncan’s snub.
I feel for him. I know exactly how this feels, it happens to me all the time when I’m with the girls at school. It’s like we’re acceptable company until someone better comes along.
Guiltily I realise that I probably behaved the same way last week with Charlie at the party, when Danny paid me some attention.
‘I think you talk about very interesting things,’ I assure him. ‘You always entertain me when we’re together.’
‘Even when I talk about the breeding habits of starfish?’ Charlie winks.
On one of our walks with Wilson, Charlie had spent a good fifteen minutes talking about molluscs, starfish and crustaceans, until I had pretended to fall asleep while we were walking along, and had rolled over on to the soft sand with my eyes closed, snoring loudly.
‘Mmm… maybe not the breeding habits,’ I reply, wrinkling my nose. ‘But the regeneration part was quite interesting. Imagine if humans could simply regrow their limbs when they lost them. It would be a medical miracle.’
It’s as I glance over Charlie’s shoulder that I spot Danny waiting with the other cool kids. How could I have missed him? He’s sitting on one of the wooden benches that line the promenade, looking cool, relaxed and totally gorgeous…
Danny notices me staring at him and gives a casual wave in my direction.
‘Do you need me to hold you up?’ Charlie asks. ‘You’re not going to faint, are you, because Danny Lucas waved at you?’
‘Haha, very funny!’ I chide, my expression not matching my terse voice as I try to give an equally casual wave in Danny’s direction.
Danny smiles at me, and winks, and I do actually feel myself waver.
‘Here’s the bus!’ someone suddenly shouts, and my moment with Danny is broken as I turn to see a burgundy coach pulling up next to us.
‘Come on!’ Charlie calls, as the doors open and people begin to pile on board. ‘We want a decent seat!’
I follow Charlie up the stairs and take a seat next to him in the middle of the bus, while the cool kids all file immediately to the back.
‘Glad to see you could make it today, Gracie,’ Danny says casually as he passes by our seat.
‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Danny!’ I squeak in a voice so shrill I suspect only dogs can hear me.
Danny opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by another female calling, ‘Over here, Danny!’ in a voice a number of octaves lower than mine. ‘I’ve saved you a seat.’
Danny shrugs, smiles apologetically at me, then carries on down the bus.
I desperately want to sit up in my seat and turn around so I can see who has stolen my moment, and more importantly who Danny is now sitting next to, but I daren’t – it would be too obvious. So I sit and stare at the headrest in front of me, where the last inhabitant of my seat has kindly left their chewing gum stuck to the plush fabric.
‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!’ Charlie mimics in a shrill girly voice. I turn to see him wildly fluttering his eyelashes.
‘I do not sound like that!’ I tell him sternly. ‘Did I go a bit overboard?’ I whisper now.
‘I’m throwing you an invisible life jacket as we speak.’
I screw up my face. ‘I can’t help it. Whenever I speak to him my mind goes to mush, and I say stupid things.’
‘They’re not exactly stupid,’ Charlie says sympathetically. ‘They’re just not very cool, that’s all.’
I roll my eyes, and rest my head against the seat.
‘Then I’m going to have to learn how to be cooler.’
‘Easier said than done,’ Charlie says. ‘Why not just be you?’
‘Because he’s not going to notice me being me, is he?’
‘I did.’
‘But you’re you, you’re my mate, it doesn’t count.’
‘Cheers for that!’ Charlie says. ‘It’s good to know I matter.’
‘I didn’t mean it like that, you know I didn’t.’
Charlie sits up so he can see over the seat in front of him down to the front of the bus. ‘Looks like that’s everyone on board,’ he says, sitting back again. ‘We’ll be off in a moment, then you can spend the next hour or so thinking about how you can become cooler, while I,’ he says, taking a paperback book from his rucksack, ‘will try and finish my new Stephen King novel.’
‘Is that it?’ I ask him indignantly, looking at the book.
‘Yes, it is,’ Charlie says, holding up the cover.
‘Wha… oh, I see: the book is called It. I meant —’
‘I know what you meant, Gracie, but I think you’re fine as you are. If you want to change, then it’s up to you. But I’m not going to help you do it.’
And with that, he lifts up the book and begins to read.
‘Fine,’ I mutter under my breath. ‘Then I’ll just have to find a way of being cool on my own.’
During the coach journey, the youth leaders hand out our itineraries for the day. Charlie and I stop sulking – well, I do, Charlie has simply been engrossed in his book for most of the journey – and we read it through together:
Sandybridge Youth Club
Visit to Norwich: Saturday 28 June 1986
10 a.m. Arrival and visit to Norwich Cathedral:
You are free to wander as you please, but we urge you to spend time appreciating the beauty of this 900-year-old place of worship.
11 a.m.–1 p.m. Free time & lunch break:
Feel free to explore the rest of what this lovely city has to offer – not just the shops!
1 p.m.–3 p.m. Visit to Norwich Castle:
We are very lucky to have a guided tour of the castle. Please don’t be late back from lunch.
3.30 p.m. Please return to the bus promptly:
We will depart for home at 4 p.m. sharp.
Thank you, and enjoy your day in Norwich.
‘Organised, aren’t they?’ I comment to Charlie as we read through the itinerary.
‘Wouldn’t you be if you had this lot to keep under control? I’m surprised some of them are allowed off their leads.’
‘Sorry about earlier,’ I apologise. ‘I wanted Danny to notice me, that’s all.’
Charlie turns towards me. ‘Gracie, you must know by now that he already has.’
‘Honestly?’ I ask, my eyes open wide. ‘What
makes you think that?’
‘Male intuition,’ Charlie says seriously.
‘Really?’
‘Nah, I can just see it. It doesn’t take any special powers to work that out.’
‘But what should I do?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Nothing? But what if he doesn’t realise I like him too?’
Charlie laughs. ‘He’d have to be an idiot not to know that. Although…’
‘Stop it, Charlie!’ I playfully punch his arm. ‘Danny is OK, and you know it.’
‘Yeah, I guess. For a cool kid, he’s not so bad.’
I nod approvingly and sit back in my seat to think about what Charlie has said. Had Danny Lucas really noticed me, or was Charlie just teasing?
But I don’t have long to think, because the bus is soon pulling up in a car park in the centre of Norwich.
We all pile off the bus, and the youth club leader, Barry, gathers us all around him.
‘Right, gang!’ he calls in a cheery voice, waving his clipboard in the air. ‘If you all follow me in an orderly fashion, we’ll set off on our first adventure of the day to the cathedral! Wagons roll!’
I raise my eyebrows at Charlie, who grins back. ‘Come on, Gracie!’ he mimics as he bows, then holds out his arm in a formal fashion for me to take. ‘Shall we partake of our first adventure together?’
We all follow Barry through the narrow streets of Norwich as he bounds enthusiastically along, his clipboard held aloft so we don’t lose him.
I try and keep an eye on Danny as we walk, but we’ve somehow ended up in the middle of the long line of kids snaking their way along behind the clipboard, and Danny is somewhere at the back, just before Glenda – Barry’s sidekick (actually there was a rumour going along the snake that Glenda might be his girlfriend). So I can’t look at Danny without turning around – and I don’t want to be that obvious, whatever Charlie said.
‘Righty-ho, gang!’ Barry calls as we arrive outside the cathedral. ‘Now, as the itinerary states, we will be viewing the cathedral independently at our leisure, but I urge you to take your time to look and appreciate your surroundings while you’re inside. It really is an exquisitely beautiful place to behold.’
‘Gee, has this guy swallowed a dictionary?’ I ask Charlie, as we follow Barry into the calm of the silent cathedral.
Charlie grins. ‘He likes getting value from his words, that’s for sure.’
We wander through the cathedral, trying our hardest to appreciate the grand architecture, and the artistry of the colourful stained-glass windows. But this soon gets dull, and we begin to get bored. I feel it was a little optimistic for the organisers of this trip (even though it is a church youth club) to expect a bunch of teenagers to stay amused in a cathedral for long, and we soon start to hear hollers and shouts from some of the others as they try to test the echo capabilities of the large space.
Barry and Glenda hurriedly round us all up and usher us out on to the grass outside.
‘I do hope you all enjoyed that brief glimpse of one of our county’s truly splendid works of religious architecture?’ Barry asks, still grinning broadly despite our swift exit.
‘Do you mean the church?’ someone pipes up, and there are a few sniggers.
‘Yes,’ Barry continues, looking flustered, ‘the cathedral. Perhaps now would be a good time to take our lunch break?’ He looks to Glenda, who nods her support. ‘Please return back here at one p.m. prompt, and we shall continue with our tour. I’m sure most of you’ – he glances at a small gang who are blowing huge pink bubbles of Hubba Bubba gum from their mouths and not listening to him at all – ‘will find the castle much more interesting this afternoon.’
We all head off in our little gangs. The youth club recommended bringing a packed lunch on the trip to save us worrying about buying our lunches, but nearly all of us have ignored this advice and brought money. Even Charlie, whose mum had insisted on making him a packed lunch, had quickly ditched it, and was now heading off with the rest of us into the centre of town to find something more exciting to eat. We’re all thrilled when we see the big yellow M of a McDonald’s! We’re used to Wimpys – even dull old Sandybridge has a Wimpy restaurant – but a McDonald’s! We may as well have travelled directly to New York, the thrill of finding something so American here in Norwich is so great.
Much to the manager’s annoyance, we all queue up individually with our purses and wallets and order the cheapest thing on the menu – a Happy Meal. Then we all pile outside to find somewhere to eat it.
Charlie and I manage to find a vacant wooden bench to sit on, while some of the others head back to the grass outside the cathedral. Danny heads off with a small gang including Lucy Flanagan and Donna Lewis. I try not to watch them too closely as Charlie and I open up our cardboard boxes of food.
‘Cool, a little race car!’ Charlie says, pulling a tiny blue plastic car from his box.
‘Is that it?’ I ask with a tinge of disappointment. I’d heard great things about the free gift inside a McDonald’s Happy Meal. I didn’t call a car the most interesting of toys.
‘It is meant for kids, Gracie!’ Charlie says, holding the longest, thinnest chip I’ve ever seen between two of his fingers. He hungrily feeds it into his mouth, like he’s munching on a potato-flavoured worm. ‘It’s not meant for young ladies trying to impress the local hunk!’
‘I am not trying to impress him!’ I protest, unwrapping my burger. It’s a long time since breakfast; Charlie had had sweets on the bus, but I’d been good and refused them, so now I’m absolutely starving as I take a huge bite of the juicy burger. But at the same time as the taste sensation of a greasy cheeseburger hits my tongue, I feel the slightly less pleasant sensation of a large blob of red ketchup oozing from the bottom of the bun and hitting my chest.
‘No!’ I cry, gazing down in horror at my white T-shirt. I look like I’ve just been shot, and my blood is beginning to ooze from the bullet wound.
‘Quick,’ Charlie says, pushing a napkin into my hand.
‘It will only make it worse if I rub at it,’ I say, trying to stop the offending red blob from travelling any further down my front by leaning back and balancing it on my chest.
‘Well you can’t spend the rest of the day like that!’ Charlie says, trying not to look at my boobs, even though I’m making that extremely difficult by poking them out towards him like some awful Page 3 model. ‘Do you want me to try and remove it?’
I look doubtfully at him. The ketchup has landed in a particularly delicate area.
‘I won’t touch them, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
My cheeks feel as though they’ve turned the same shade as the ketchup. ‘OK,’ I say hesitantly. ‘If you think you can get it off without it staining.’
‘Gracie, we both know that’s not going to happen,’ Charlie says, sounding like a surgeon summing up the chances for a successful operation. ‘All I can do is try and minimalise the damage.’
‘OK, OK, just do it!’ I tell him, closing my eyes.
I feel Charlie reach out and gently begin dabbing at my chest. How typical of me that my first experience of a boy coming anywhere near this area should not only be anything but sexual, but with my best friend.
‘There – done,’ Charlie says, almost as quickly as he’s begun.
I open my eyes and look down at my chest, hoping that Charlie has somehow magically managed to remove any traces of the ketchup. But of course he hasn’t. The blob has gone, but a nasty tomato stain still remains.
‘Oh God, what am I going to do? I can’t walk around Norwich like this!’
‘Can’t you arrange your hair over it or something?’ Charlie suggests helpfully. ‘It’s long enough to cover it.’
I give him a withering look. ‘I can’t walk around looking like Neil from The Young Ones!’
Charlie laughs. ‘Yes, you’re not exactly the peaceful hippy type, are you?’
‘Do you know, I’m really not right now!’ I
growl.
‘Look, there’s no point wasting our lunch,’ Charlie says practically. He hands me a clean napkin. ‘Good job I picked up a few of these, huh? They’re coming in pretty handy today!’
I narrow my eyes.
‘Tuck this in your top, Gracie,’ Charlie says, sounding remarkably like my mother did when I was four. ‘That will cover your… problem for now. Eat up your lunch and then we’ll go in search of a solution.’
‘What solution?’ I ask, doing as he says and tucking the white paper napkin over the top of my T-shirt so it covers the stain. ‘I can’t wear this all afternoon. I look like I’m wearing a bib!’
‘Maybe you should get one,’ Charlie says with a straight face. ‘If you’d worn a baby’s bib before you started eating, we wouldn’t be in this situation now. Perhaps one of those plastic pelican bibs might be in order… I bet there’s a Mothercare here amongst the shops.’
‘Do you want to wear the rest of your lunch?’ I ask him. ‘I bet I could do much more damage to your pale blue shirt with a whole greasy burger than I’ve done with a bit of ketchup to mine!’
Charlie grins and hurriedly stuffs what’s left of his burger into his mouth while he shakes his head. ‘See, Gracie, I said you weren’t the peaceful hippy type, didn’t I?’
Six
After we’ve eaten lunch, Charlie hurries me through the shopping streets of Norwich in search of an alternate top for me to wear.
Neither of us have a lot of money on us, but we head into Chelsea Girl where, to his credit, Charlie immediately finds me a perfectly good white T-shirt, which would have gone with my stonewashed cropped blue jeans and white leather pumps, but I had other ideas. Before we’d even entered the shop, I’d spotted in the window a short, pale pink bat-winged dress, with a thick white belt around the middle that hung seductively open over one of the mannequin’s slender shoulders, and I loved it.
Letters from Lighthouse Cottage Page 5