“I hope for Lily’s sake that you’re right,” she responded. “She seems very taken with James.”
“Are you certain she truly cares for him?” Marcus asked. “That she’s not merely pretending fondness because James is her best hope for a protector?” Penny started to answer, but Marcus went on, his expression darkening. “I like Lily, but if she’s manipulating and using James…I can’t abide deceitful women. If Lily breaks James’s heart, she’ll find out I can be nearly as nasty as Brakestoke.”
Penny took a bite and struggled to chew. Her mouth seemed to have gone dry. Marcus was making it clear that if she rejected him, he would never forgive her.
When she was finally able to get the food down, she said, “I’m sure Lily truly cares for James. If she felt getting involved with him would hurt him, she would leave before that could happen.”
“I don’t understand. If she returns his affections, how would getting involved with her end up hurting James?”
Penny shrugged, trying to make her response sound off-hand, yet give Marcus an insight into what she was about to do. “What if Lily thought Brakestoke might decide to do something to James to get back at him for helping her? In that instance, getting away from James might be the best way for Lily to show him how much she cares for him.”
Marcus had stopped eating and was staring at her. “Are you saying Lily has had contact with Brakestoke since the incident at the theater? Has he threatened her in some way?”
“No! Nothing like that! Indeed, Lily told me she’s quite certain Brakestoke wants nothing more to do with her. At this point, he’s probably thankful to James for getting her out of his life. The situation I mentioned was purely theoretical. I was trying to explain that sometimes people have to hurt the people they care about in order to protect them.”
****
Marcus searched Penny’s face trying to figure out why she was saying these things. Was she suggesting that if James proposed, Lily would refuse him? Was Penny trying to come up with some excuse for Lily to do such a thing?
Penny gave him a quick, nervous smile. “Don’t worry. I don’t think Lily will do anything like that. I’m merely saying that if you truly care about someone, sometimes you have to put their interests ahead of your own. The truth is, Lily worries she’s not good enough for James. She’s concerned his family won’t accept her and they’ll think he’s marrying beneath himself.”
“I wouldn’t worry about James’s family. They don’t care what James does. He’s got two older brothers who are expected to make good matches, so no one has much interest in what James does. It’s exactly like my situation. Younger sons aren’t worth bothering about.” He knew he sounded bitter, but he couldn’t help it. It had always rankled that his family treated him with such disinterest.
“I’m sure Lily will be relieved. She truly cares for James, enough that’s she concerned for his future happiness.”
Marcus finished his roast beef, keeping his gaze on Penny. She was behaving oddly tonight. He wondered if it had anything to do with her meeting with her cousin. He needed to confront her about that…but later. He didn’t want to ruin things between them now, when they would soon be going to bed. He could hardly wait. Even as his mind puzzled on Penny’s motivations, his body was focused—as always—on how delectable she looked: her lovely eyes, delicious mouth, long neck and creamy skin. He wanted to devour her, and it was all he could do to wait until it was time to retire and he would finally get his chance to enjoy her charms.
They talked a bit more about James and Lily and the baby, and how well their household was adjusting to the changes. Then Marcus brought up the idea of going to Covent Gardens to enjoy the fireworks and other entertainments. “I’d like to take you tomorrow night, if you’d like to go, that is.”
“I’m certain that would be enjoyable,” she answered.
“So, we’ll plan on it then?”
She didn’t respond, but nodded vaguely. Her expression seemed stiff and awkward, which made him uneasy. If she were his opponent in a card game, he’d be convinced she had a poor hand and was bluffing him. But of course, this wasn’t a card game, and she was a woman, which meant it was inevitable he would find her moods puzzling and indecipherable.
****
Oh, this is miserable, to constantly be lying to him. How she wanted this meal to be over.
But what was coming next would be even worse. They’d go to bed and he’d make love to her and she’d experience all that magical passion and pleasure, all the while knowing it might be for the last time. Indeed, it probably would be for the last time.
She repressed a sigh. Somehow she had to behave normally, despite her breaking heart. She didn’t want Marcus getting suspicious. It would be disastrous if he suspected she was up to something. She had to wear him out with lovemaking so he’d sleep late, as he did this morning, so she could get away. The sooner they went to bed, the sooner they could begin.
Her body yearned for his touch, heedless of what the future held. She might as well have one more night of heaven and try to forget about the hell to come.
****
“Are you finished?” Marcus motioned to Penny’s half-eaten meal. She didn’t appear to have much appetite tonight. Another sign that something was bothering her.
“Yes,” she answered. Marcus nodded to Will, who pulled back Penny’s chair so she could rise.
“Would you like another glass of wine?” Marcus suggested. “I could have a bottle brought into the library.”
“That sounds lovely.” She flashed him a smile.
He went to her and took her arm to lead her into the library. Ahhh…how good she smells! Merely to have her lithe, delicate body near was enough to arouse him. At this rate, he wasn’t certain he’d survive the hours until bed. Of course, he could always make love to her in the library. But he didn’t want it to be like that, as intense and satisfying as that experience had been. Tonight, he wanted to take things slowly, to savor every moment. To leave no part of her body unexplored. To worship every beautiful inch of her.
The thought of it made him almost breathless with impatience. He sought to slow his racing heart and breathe deeply. Hopefully, the wine would relax him…and her as well.
Reaching the library, he guided her to the settle, then sat in the chair across from her. He didn’t want to be too close, but he wanted to be able to look at her. To feast his eyes on this dazzlingly lovely woman who would soon be his wife.
If she agreed, that is. The gnawing worry abruptly darkened his mood. He’d been looking ahead to this night as a means of indulging his passion. But it meant so much more than that. He had to please her, to make her so enthralled with his lovemaking she’d be willing to marry him.
He’d always been confident of his performance in the bedchamber, but now, with what was at stake, he felt a twinge of nerves. In the past, when he’d made an effort to please his partners, it had been mostly a matter of pride. And a good share of the women he’d bedded had been experienced and not shy about telling him what they wanted. Penny wasn’t going to do that, so he’d have to guess how to please her.
He repressed a sigh, wishing he knew more about women, especially this one!
Penny sipped her wine. She appeared distracted, her thoughts far away. “Is something troubling you?” he asked.
Her gaze focused on him and she smiled, although the expression seemed forced. “Not really. I was merely thinking about James and Lily.”
He couldn’t understand her obsession with the other couple’s happiness. But he knew enough not to say that. Instead, he said, “I’m certain things will work out for them. It all fits together quite tidily, to my way of thinking. Lily needs a protector and a father for her child, and James…I think James is actually quite lonely. He grew up in a large family, and now he lives in that townhouse all by himself.”
“You live alone. Does that mean you are lonely?”
He shrugged. “Perhaps I was, but like James I didn’t know i
t. But now…” He leaned closer. “It has been…pleasant having you here.” Pleasant? What a dolt I am! It is far more than pleasant. Why do I struggle so hard to say what I feel?
She still smiled at him, although her eyes seemed sad. “I thought having me move in was a terrible inconvenience to you, not to mention expensive.”
“Did I say that?” Appalling to think she’d read me so clearly.
“No, but your actions implied it. You were always frowning and grumbling about things, not to me but to Bowes.”
“I’m sorry. I’m afraid I was quite rude. I didn’t mean—”
She raised a hand in protest. “Don’t worry, I don’t hold it against you. And I didn’t make it easy for you. In fact, I went out of my way to create problems and make things difficult.”
Because you didn’t want to marry me. Although she didn’t say it, he knew that was what she meant. Lately her behavior had changed. Did that mean she’d changed her mind about marrying him? He wanted to ask, but he was afraid.
“I’m certain it was disconcerting to suddenly have a fiancée,” she continued. “Even if it was your choice. You probably felt you were losing control over your life. I can certainly understand that.”
What was she saying, that by marrying him, she’d lose control over her own life? Somehow he had to reassure her he didn’t mean to treat her the way most men did their wives. He wanted her to be his partner, not his servant. “It can be difficult to get used to considering another person’s interests,” he said. “But over time…if you truly care about them, you learn to be less selfish.” No, that wasn’t right. She might be thinking he was talking about her being less selfish. “I was talking about myself,” he added. “I think I’ve changed. I view things differently now.”
She nodded. “So do I.”
When they talked like this, and she looked at him with that warm, almost tender expression, he felt hopeful. They got along quite well these days. Surely she could see they truly were compatible. Maybe he should ask her to marry him right now, instead of waiting until after they’d made love. But how did he broach the subject?
He’d heard he was supposed to get down on his knees to ask her, but that would make him feel too foolish. It would be too much like begging, as if she should feel sorry for him. He wanted to maintain some dignity at least.
He cleared his throat. “Given that things have changed, I wondered if…” How was he going to do this, when he was so terrified of her answer?
She got up suddenly. “I wonder…that is…maybe we could continue this conversation another time. I’m a bit tired.”
He also stood. Had she sensed he was about to propose and sought to head him off? Did that mean she was going to refuse him? But if that was the case, why was she putting it off?
He stared at her. Her behavior was so confusing. A moment before they’d been conversing easily. Now she seemed restless and anxious. Something was bothering her. If only he could figure out what it was.
“I know it’s early yet,” she murmured. “But I think…perhaps we should go up to bed.”
He didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. He’d been reprieved from asking the question he dreaded asking. But it bothered him that she seemed to fear it as much as he did. And what did she mean by saying they should go to bed? Was it an invitation to make love to her?
That, at least, he could find out. Smiling, he said, “Bed. Yes, that seems like a fine idea.” When she didn’t start for the door, he reached for her. As he kissed her, she molded her body against his. Her response emboldened him. He opened his mouth and their tongues mated. She drew closer and their kisses became almost frantic.
He felt his own desire overtaking him and realized this wasn’t what he wanted. So much of their lovemaking had been like this, desperate and driven, their need and lust overtaking them. He wanted them to share more than an expression of their sexual hunger. What he yearned for was true closeness, true intimacy, rather than coming together like two drowning people who could only save each other.
He forced himself to draw back. “Should we go upstairs?”
She appeared a bit disconcerted by his restraint, but she nodded.
He took her hand and led her from the library. They walked together, their fingers entwined. He felt as if he would burst. Not with arousal, but a kind of aching tenderness that built in his chest. It seemed so miraculous, so incredible to be going to bed with this beautiful woman. He could not get over the sense of wonder he felt, that she was willing to share her body with him.
They reached the bedchamber and went inside. It was so early the lamps weren’t even lit, and the room was illuminated with only the glow of the summer twilight. He thought about the other times they’d made love in this room. They’d always been so impatient; they could scarcely wait to take their clothes off. This time he meant to make every moment last.
Penny immediately turned her back to him, expecting him to undo the hooks on her dress. Instead, he drew her against his body, and pushing aside the tendrils of her hair, kissed the soft warm flesh at the nape of her neck. She shivered. He licked her ear and nipped her earlobe with his teeth. She gave a soft moan. He cupped her breasts in his hands and continued to kiss her neck. Feeling her yield, he knew a triumphant thrill. At this moment, she was his.
****
Penny sighed and shuddered, giving in to the breathtaking sensations aroused by his kisses and caresses. Her whole body heaved with desire, and it was a struggle not to seem too impatient. He obviously wanted to draw out every enticing pleasure as long as possible. He couldn’t know that every moment would be both heaven and torture for her. A part of her agonized at the awareness that what they shared tonight might have to last her a lifetime.
She fought to set aside the bitter awareness and think of nothing except the splendor of this moment. As he undid the hooks at the back of her dress, she concentrated on the tingling heat radiating from her nipples and the yearning ache in her lower belly. Her gown slipped down and he cupped her breasts, stroking them through the thin fabric of her zona. She drifted on a cloud of pleasure as he caressed her.
His expert fingers fondling her nearly bare skin. The sensation of silk and fine cotton gliding over her flesh. The pressure of his warm, skillful fingers. Her body sang with delight, sending waves of quivering heat deep into her core. Her legs failed her and he held her up, the sensation of his hard muscular body against hers arousing her further. Although the eager yearning inside her remained, having him hold her like this made her feel safe and content.
His lips followed where his hands had gone, and she savored his musky, male scent and reveled in his sleek masculine strength. But as hard as she tried, she couldn’t deny the desperate need building inside her. She found herself writhing and moaning as his tender, provocative lips brought her to fever pitch. When she thought she could bear no more, he brought his mouth to her cleft, licking and nuzzling her flesh through the fabric of her under-drawers.
She threw her head back and pressed her lips together, fighting the cry of ecstasy that swelled inside her. But she couldn’t hold back completely or stop the low, broken murmurs that issued from her lips, matching the shimmering waves of pleasure sweeping through her. She reached her peak with a shuddering gasp, her whole body convulsing. As she went limp, he caught her in his arms and carried her to the bed.
He undressed her. As she lay there, naked and spent, gazing up at his darkly handsome face, she realized she wanted to stroke and fondle and arouse him as he’d done to her. When he drew near, as if to start his exquisite torment once again, she shook her head. “Now, it’s my turn,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, since you’ve had your pleasure of me, it’s only fair I get mine of you.” She gestured. “Take off your clothing…all of it.”
His eyes darkened and his nostrils flared as he removed his garments. She watched, fascinated as he slowly revealed himself, each glimpse more provocative than the la
st. Broad shoulders straining against thin white muslin. The thick column of his muscular neck revealed as he untied his cravat. Swirls of dark hair visible as he unbuttoned his shirt. And then the glorious expanse of his chest, so solid and strong. He dropped his shirt to the floor, then paused, letting her feast her eyes on him: dark nipples, taut muscular planes, the intriguing v-shaped pattern of black hair, thinning to a faint line leading down to the mysteries concealed by his trousers.
He moved to the chair to take off his boots and stockings, then stood to undo his trousers. He unbuttoned them slowly, as if deliberately tantalizing her. She watched breathlessly, and as he freed his phallus, she felt the familiar arousal and amazement. It seemed appalling large, and yet, looking at his proud ruddy shaft and recalling the delicious, overwhelming sensation of having it inside her, she realized she reveled in every heated inch.
He slid down his trousers and stepped out of them, naked at last. Her gaze explored his lower body. Narrow hips, dominated by his phallus, thrusting up like a thick, blunt sword. Lean, powerful-looking legs, so different than hers. Hard, defined, hairy.
She stood and reached out to touch him. First, she stroked his shoulders, sliding her fingers over the smooth skin, feeling the hard strength beneath. He watched her with a hooded, provocative gaze as she caressed his chest. Coarse hair. Firm muscle. The pebbly surface of his nipples. She enjoyed each tantalizing texture as she glided her hands over him, massaging gently.
He remained still, but she could sense his breathing quicken. And when she followed the line of dark hair down to his belly, he gasped in expectation.
At the last second she moved her hands to the side, along his hips, avoiding his quivering erection.
“I didn’t do this to you,” he murmured.
“Do what?” She gently stroked his hips, her hands moving in slow circles nearer and nearer to his buttocks.
Wicked Wager Page 22