by Johnson, Ash
Milo is our ring bearer and stands next to Tyler, the best man; both of them are behind Ryan at the head of the altar. They both look so handsome in matching suits and dark purple ties.
I feel like a princess in my beautiful white dress. It is strapless and has a long light purple silk sash that hangs off the side of my waist. It flows out with a small train following behind me while I walk down the aisle. I push my hair, which I left down and curly, behind my shoulders and get ready to start my walk down the aisle.
Ryan’s father is accompanying me since my own father refused to come, so I give Ryan’s father a quick kiss on the cheek while holding my bouquet of light and dark purple daisies before we start walking toward the love of my life.
When I approach Ryan at the altar, his light blue eyes are glassy and he tilts his head, whispering “I love you, soul mate”. When the time comes for us to read our personalized vows to each other, I look into the teary eyes of my beautiful soon-to-be husband and clear my throat.
“Ryan, I have loved you since I was a little girl and I will love you until I’m old and grey. I promise to sing to you every day, to kiss you goodnight every night, to teach your beautiful daughters how to play instruments, to calm you down when the day comes that they want to get tattoos” Ryan looks at both of his daughters and shakes his head at them and they laugh. I giggle as I waggle my eyebrows at the girls before I continue.
“I promise to run you over with my bike if you become impossible to deal with, to laugh with and at you when needed, to be your shoulder to cry on when needed, to love you and your daughters with all that I have and all that I am, and remember what a privilege it is to be your soul mate. I love you, Ry.”
Chapter 30
Ryan
Her vows were perfect. Now I look like a pussy because I’m trying to hold back tears while she stares at me, waiting for me to speak mine. I clear my throat and take a deep breath before I begin.
“Brynn, I have loved you forever. I promise to make sure I always see the real you, to never forget that life needs to be funny sometimes, to tell you how much I love you every day, to try exercise a bit more so I don’t have a coronary when I try to keep up with you on a run.” Brynn shakes her head and smiles while people sitting in the audience laugh.
“I promise to spend the rest of my life thanking you for wanting to be a part of mine and my girls’ lives, to thank you for leaving one world behind to start a new world with us, and to remember that I found something very rare when you literally ran into my life again; but you will not be getting that bike back any time soon. I love you with every inch of my soul, Brynnie.”
The ceremony ends and we start our reception with our first dance. Of course, the song is “Make you feel my love”, to which Brynn cries, but is smiling. I can’t say anything, just run my hands through her loose, dark curls and stare into her perfect blue eyes, wondering how I got so lucky to have her.
I caused her so much pain when we were younger and she is still willing to forget what happened in the past and accept me and my girls into her life without a second guess. Brynn has been so wonderful with Riley and Harper, too.
A few weeks after we were engaged, Brynn asked us all to fly back out to San Diego and made an entire weekend out of getting to know the girls. She took them to the spa, shopping, and even took them to an indoor rock climbing center to teach them how to climb. She would video chat with them every day until we got her moved out here and the girls quickly fell in love with her.
Despite the fact that Brynn’s parents didn’t show up, she seems to be having a great time. She’s been mingling with our friends from high school and dancing with my daughters on the dance floor. I don’t think she’s really that upset with the fact that her parents didn’t come. She told me that she had come to terms with the fact that they didn’t want anything more to do with her a long time ago. “I have lots of friends and now a great man and his two daughters; that’s all the family I need.” She’d said.
I still haven’t told Brynn that I ran into her dad at the gym last week and told him that I was marrying his daughter- He nodded at me from across the gym floor so I made my way over to talk to him. He gave me a smug smile and stuck his hand out waiting for me to shake it, but this time I couldn’t look at him without being disgusted.
“Mr. Harris, you should know that Brynn and I are engaged and will be getting married in a week.” After his smile turned into a grimace, his brows pulled together and he looked to the ground. “Well then, Ryan, good thing you already have children, because you won’t get any out of that ungrateful, disobedient girl. She only cares for herself. Keep an eye on her and your daughters because she’ll never put your family first.” I was seeing red when he said that. I had to keep flexing my fists open and closed because I was losing feeling in them from being clenched together.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” I yelled. His mouth dropped open in disbelief because I’m sure no one had ever talked to him like this. He is a pillar in our community after all; someone people look up to.
“Brynn is an amazing woman who has accomplished so much in her life that most wish they could do. She has treated my daughters like gold and I know that they love her like she was their own mother. Luckily she had the guts to stand up to you and chase after her own life instead of ending up like her mother; lonely, depressed and a closet drunk. Yeah, we all know about that.” I clarify when he looks like he’s going to protest to the closet drunk remark.
“I am a very lucky man to have Brynn in my life and if you are going to talk about her like that, I’m very happy to know that she doesn’t want you to be a part of our lives at all. Have a nice life, Mr. Harris.” I said, walking away and noticing other people in the gym whispering and pointing at Brynn’s father.
I don’t think I’ll let Brynn know about that little encounter, after all. I stand by the bar and chat with Kyle and Tyler while they make jokes about me joining the ball and chain club. Then I hear the band stop playing music and, a few seconds later, Brynn is singing.
I didn’t think much of it before when she had requested we have a live band, but now I see why she did it. She wanted to be able to get on stage and sing again. I can’t blame her; it was something that she loved to do and had to give up to move out here. She told me that she didn’t want to find another bar to sing at out here because it would take away from our family time at night. I loved her even more after she said that.
Brynn’s beautiful voice carries over the crowd and our guests flock to stand around the stage and listen to her sing “All I Want is You” by Barry Louis Polisar while she strums an acoustic guitar. Most of the people that have come to our wedding are friends from high school or around town and haven’t ever heard her sing. They are all stunned to silence when she finishes.
Brynn looks into the crowd after the song is over, first raising her eyebrows and then cringing when they don’t say anything. Then she shakes her head and says “Jesus, I didn’t think I was that bad. Sorry, everybody.” They all laugh and start clapping and asking her to sing more. She laughs and then asks for some requests because she can’t think of anything to sing.
They all have songs they want to hear, ranging from Bon Jovi to Dixie Chicks to The Avett Brothers, and she fulfills almost every request, spending most of the night singing. She even has Becca, Riley and Harper come up to help her sing “Sexy and I Know It”, but Riley and Harper spend most of the song laughing at Brynn and Becca’s dancing. I didn’t know that the running man was still done in public.
Our guests keep walking up to me to tell me how amazing her voice is and asking me why I put my new bride to work, making her sing during our wedding, but I assured them that she loves this and is probably having much more fun on that stage than she would be with me. She stops singing after a few hours to mingle with some of our friends from high school and introduces them to a few of her sorority sisters that made it out for the wedding.
I finally get to meet Nate, the
ex-boyfriend that taught Brynn how to rock climb, and his wife Andy. I mockingly thanked him for teaching Brynn how to rock climb, because now she has gotten my daughters hooked and I’ll have to learn soon, as well.
When it’s time to leave, Brynn and I both kiss Riley and Harper goodbye and wave to the rest of our guests before we get in the car to head to the airport. I told Brynn that we were going home and my parents were going to watch the girls for a few hours so we could have some quiet time, but really I am surprising Brynn with a weeklong trip to Hawaii for our honey moon.
I can’t take my eyes off of her the whole ride to the airport, and I chuckle at her when she looks confused as we pass the exit to our house. “The driver just missed our exit. Are you going to tell him?” she says, looking at me questioningly when I just shake my head.
“Where are we going, Ryan?” I smile and say “It’s a surprise, but Becca packed you a bag, so don’t worry about it. Anything we forgot we can get while we’re there.”
“While we’re where, Ryan? What about the girls?” It makes me smile that she is so concerned about the girls. “They are staying the week at Becca’s house while we have a real honeymoon, and you’ll just have to wait till we get there to find out.”
She smiles and leans in to whisper into my ear “I have other ways of getting information you know.” She runs her tongue along the shell of my ear and then bites on my lobe. I close my eyes and focus on the roof of the car so I don’t get excited. “You won’t get any information from me, Brynn. You’re just going to have to trust your soul mate now, aren’t you?” She smiles.
“I guess I will my little love bird. I trust you with everything I have.”
Epilogue
Two years later
Brynn
I’m sitting in the backyard at Becca’s house, who is now my next door neighbor as well because I didn’t want to live so close to my parents. The house next door to Becca’s had magically come onto the market right before I moved out, so Ryan and I bought it.
I have seen my parents around town a few times, but they act as if they have no clue who I am, so I return the gesture.
Becca and I are sitting in lounge chairs watching Riley and Harper play hide and seek with Milo. He chooses to hide behind my chair and sticks out like a sore thumb because I’m sitting in the middle of the open yard, but the girls are good sports and pretend that they don’t see-or hear- him.
Riley walks up to me, pretending that she is looking everywhere but behind my chair, when she says “Hey Mom, have you seen Milo at all? We’re playing hide and seek, but Harper and I can’t seem to find him anywhere.”
“Wow sweetie, no I haven’t seen him at all.” I try my damndest to not laugh when I hear him giggle behind my chair.
“He must be really good at hiding, then,” Harper says with a smile when she walks up next to Riley. I was able to tell the difference between them almost instantly even though they are identical because of a scar on Riley’s face, but thankfully they stopped dressing alike and it’s much easier to tell them apart. “Thanks for your help Mom.” It still makes my heart melt when I hear them call me that.
A few months after Ryan and I got married, they asked if they could call me Mom. I was so honored that they would even consider me for the position that I started to cry.
They are the best girls and have fully accepted me since the day they met me. They were always so interested in things that I could teach them, too.
Riley wanted to learn how to play the piano and Harper wanted to learn how to play the guitar, so I taught them each how to play and we all sing together at night.
The best thing was when both of the girls asked me to teach them how to rock climb. Ryan was reluctant but agreed and we started with indoor rock climbing. Now we go to the nearby cliffs and even back to San Diego to climb a few times a year.
I don’t sing as much as I used to, which is hard for me, but I love being with my family more than sitting in a bar five nights a week.
Becca and I go to a local bar once a month with our friends and I sing at their open mic night; which is even more fun when I can get Becca drunk and up on stage with me, but that doesn’t happen very often.
After our wedding, some of the guests asked me if I could sing at their wedding or other parties around town, so I sing at an event maybe once or twice a month, but not nearly as much as I used to.
I still design websites from home, which is easy because during the day the girls are at school and Ryan is at work, so I have the house to myself; at least for a little while longer.
I found out this morning that I was ten weeks pregnant. Ryan and I had talked about trying to have another baby, but I was a bit reluctant because we already had Riley and Harper and they are ten.
I didn’t want the age gap to be a problem, but when we brought up the idea of a sibling to the girls, they were ecstatic about having a baby in the house and even offered to help out. Now I just have to figure out a way to tell Ryan that I’m pregnant.
After almost an hour of sitting in the backyard attempting to do some work, only to stare blankly at my computer, Becca finally chimes in.
“Are you okay Brynnie? You’ve been really out of it almost all day and you look a bit green around the gills.”
She was right, I had been really nauseous for the past few days; that’s how I figured out I was actually pregnant because I’d been so busy with Riley’s dance recital and Harper’s gymnastics practice I didn’t even notice that I had missed my period-twice.
“Uh, yeah I’m okay, I guess. I just have a lot on my mind.” I say before I put my computer on the ground and look to my right to see Becca evaluating my face. “Holy shit, Brynn. You’re pregnant, aren’t you.” It wasn’t really a question.
I cringe “Is it that obvious?” Becca freaks out. She jumps out of her chair and starts clapping and screaming.
Of course she is screaming so loud that Riley and Harper think something is wrong and come running. “Aunt Becca, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Harper asks in a panic.
Becca doesn’t know that I haven’t told Ryan yet and spills the beans to the girls. “Brynn’s pregnant! You guys are going to be big sisters!” I widen my eyes at Becca and mutter a “dammit” under my breath.
The girls look at each other before turning back to me. They are silent for a second, which then makes me really nervous that they are upset, but then they both start screaming and jumping like Becca. “Yay, Mom! We can’t wait to have a baby in the house! Why didn’t you and Dad tell us earlier?” Riley says.
“Well, your Dad doesn’t know about this yet.” I mutter, looking over at Becca with disapproving eyes. “I just found out this morning while you girls were at school and was going to tell Dad before we told you guys, but I guess now you know first.”
“Oops” Becca cringes, putting her hand over her mouth. Just then, we hear Ryan at the back door.
“Baby, Riley, Harper. You guys here or over at our house?” I slap on a smile and say “We’re here, Ry, just around the corner catching some rays.” Riley and Harper are still jumping up and down and clapping their hands together like they are seals, so I have to shush them and motion for them to calm down.
Just then, Ryan comes around the corner, loosening his tie and smiling. He kisses Riley and Harper on the foreheads and leans down to give me a quick peck.
“How are my favorite girls today? Why are you two smiling at me like that?” He says, cocking a brow at Riley and Harper. Their smiles get bigger and they both look at me. I shake my head and sigh “Well, go ahead and tell him. There’s no hiding it now.”
Ryan looks back at them and they both blurt out “Mom’s having a baby! We’re going to be big sisters!” Ryan’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline and he looks at me while his mouth hangs in a perfect O. He stares at me way too long and I’m starting to worry about his reaction. I look down into my lap because he’s making me nervous, but he kneels next to my chair and pulls on my chin until I’m looki
ng at him.
“Baby, you’re pregnant?” he says. I close my eyes and nod because all of the breath has left my body. When I open my eyes again, Ryan is smiling so big I’m afraid his face is going to split in two.
“We’re going to have a baby?” he asks. “Yeah in about seven months. I just found out this morning.” He hugs me and showers my face with kisses. “Wow. That’s amazing!”
After a few seconds he cocks his head to the side and smiles before he says “I guess that means that we can’t run that half marathon next month then, huh?” I shake my head and laugh at him.
“Oh no, nice try mister. I already talked to the doctor about that and she says since I was in such good running shape that as long as I didn’t push myself too hard it should be just fine.” Ryan snaps his fingers and grimaces.
Then he smiles and leans forward until his forehead is touching mine. “Thank you so much Brynn. I can’t wait to have a baby that is a part of you and a part of me.” I shrug and ask “But aren’t you worried about the age difference between the girls and this baby? We’ll be old by the time this one graduates high school.”
Ryan laughs and lightly shakes his head to the side. “No baby, I’m not worried about the age differences with the girls. They are probably more excited than I am to have a sibling. As for our age, we aren’t as old as you think we are, Brynn. You just think we’re old because we go to bed before one and don’t stay out all night at the bar like you used to. We’ll be just fine.”
“Are you sure? I’m really scared to be a mom.” I sputter out, tears starting to form in my eyes. Ryan’s brows pull together before he says “You’re already a mom and you’ve been a great one. Why would you think that you aren’t a mom to our girls?”