After Reed

by Blythe Stone

  “Whoa,” Leah said. “Shit, babe… I’m sorry,” she said, taking my hand. “You’re like, really scared, aren’t you?”

  “YES! YES LEANDRA! I! AM! SCARED! Have you SEEN your body?!”

  “It was her,” Leah laughed, sure of it. “Hey, come on, it was definitely Reed. She’s probably just trying to control whatever her weird physical powers are.”

  “So she hits me?!” I asked, whining.

  “On accident?” Leah asked semi-guilty. “That sounds Reed-ish.” She shrugged all guilty.

  “I- I think I need to leave the house for a while,” I said.

  “No, no, no, no, no,” Leah whined, pulling me to sit down and hug me. “Stay, stay. REED DON’T TOUCH NAT!” Leah yelled. “YOU’RE SCARING HER!”

  “Stop talking to it,” I whispered, terrified. If that thing could do that to Leah if could do other things to anyone.

  “Leah, who was Reed’s Dentist?” Nora asked, sort of off-hand, she was obviously more amused than affected.

  “Cartwright!” Leah yelled.

  “K,” Nora said.

  “Just see. Nothing will touch you now. Reed wouldn’t piss me off like that. She knows you’ve been taking care of me.”

  “You’re all alive now, Leandra,” I mumbled sadly.

  All it took was… Not me.

  “I think I need to take a nap or something. I feel like shit,” I said.

  I felt like crying. Whatever was happening it was confusing. Seeing Leah have so much life after months of her being vacant, it was hard for me.

  “Do you want me to lay with you?” Leah asked.

  “No,” I said. “If Reed’s really here the last thing I want to do is piss her off.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Leah

  I could see it just being some fluke. Reed trying to prove it to Nat. How could Reed know Nat was going to get scared?

  But then there was my body, all covered in physical bruises.

  I laughed to myself and felt a little strange.

  I wanted the proof faster. I felt like jumping in my car and driving to Reed’s house to find her old retainer. I felt like going to her parents and asking them: do these look like Reed’s teeth?

  They’d think I was crazy too. I’d reached a new level of insane.

  I tried to get a grip, tried to calm myself.

  I went back into my room and laid down on the bed.

  “Touch me,” I whispered. “I know it’s you.”

  I was feeling a little sad and restless. I couldn’t concentrate. What would Reed do? I had to concentrate. If things worked best when I was unconscious that meant my own mental bullshit was making it hard.

  “Come on, Baby, I know it’s you. I know it.”

  I couldn’t help and that killed me. I could ask but I couldn’t help.

  What if this was hard? What if it took a lot out of her?

  Judging from what she’d done to me it shouldn’t be too hard.

  But why’d it take her so long?

  Maybe she missed our dreams… Maybe she’d been there with me…

  “I wish I could hear you,” I said.

  A message box popped open on my phone.

  I rushed to sit up and hold it.

  “Talk to me,” I said, desperate.

  Words began to spill out.

  I was holding the phone but it was acting like I was typing something out. It was an outgoing message from me and I was definitely NOT touching the letters.

  I read the words as they formed:

  It's me. I promised I'd never leave you-

  The words just stopped right there.

  “I love you so much,” I choked. “I love you so much. I wish I could touch you. Did you feel me last night? Could you feel too?”

  I thought about a Ouija board. I was pretty sure Reed would be against that if she were alive but this circumstance was so different than anything we knew.

  “Hold on baby,” I said, rushing to the dresser and throwing a shirt and some shorts on real quick. There was a game closet in the living room. Nat had bought this house from a man who had kids.

  I rushed to the other room, clutching my phone in case she should write me.

  “What're you doing?” Nora asked.

  “I need something,” I smiled, passing her.

  My body was sore but I pushed through everything. My adrenaline was beginning to wear off though and I was scared. I'd be tired soon. I'd have to crash. I was like a toddler these days, no muscles, and no mental prowess anymore.

  At least if I slept, Reed might be able to send me a message.

  I pulled the cupboard open and began to move things around.

  “Let me,” Nora said. She must've been watching. I felt her hand on my back. “You're shaking,” she whispered. “Take it easy. What do you need?”

  “The Ouija board,” I said.

  “Welp, should've guessed that one,” Nora laughed to herself. She didn't fight me. She pulled it out from under almost every other game and began to walk it over to the coffee table. “Can I get you some coffee, please?” She asked. “I made you some eggs.”

  “I turned to look at her for a second. I realized I had my hand over my stomach like I used to when I was very alive and very anxious every day.

  A smile escaped me as I took two steps forward and hugged Nora tight. “Thank you,” I said.

  “It's no problem,” she laughed, holding me loosely and then tightening her hug.

  “Will you, do this with me?” I asked, leaning back and giving her space.

  “Of course,” she said. “I'm catholic too, ya know? But I really do believe this is Reed.” She touched her finger to one of my hickeys and it tickled.

  “Hey, stop,” I laughed, unable to help it.

  “Come on, sit down a second, you need to rest,” Nora said. “I’ll bring you food.”

  It was hard to rest now knowing I could get to Reed, maybe talk to her.

  What if this was going to be short-lived? I didn’t know anything about this.

  Nat was right to be a little worried I guess.

  I was too happy to be scared.

  Reed did have power.

  I looked to the game and began to take it out of the box.

  As I moved slowly I felt my body ache everywhere.

  “Fuck, baby… You did so good,” I whispered, hoping she’d hear.

  I left my phone on the top of the table, just in case she wanted to try again.

  By the time Nora came back I had the whole thing set up.

  “Here,” she said, handing me a mug filled with pretreated coffee.

  I took a sip and tried to slow.

  Nora set the food in front of me.

  “I’m gonna go check on Nat,” she said. “I think you might’ve hurt her feelings.”

  “What?” I asked, looking up. “Did I?” I didn’t like the sound of that.

  “I think you did, yeah,” Nora said. “This is the most awake she’s seen you in nine months, Leah. All of a sudden you have strength.”

  “It’s Reed,” I said. That should explain everything, right?

  What had I done…

  “Just be careful,” she said. “And wait for me, for this.” She pointed down at the board. “I wanna hear Reed too,” she smiled.

  I felt her hand rub the top of my head, lovingly. And then she was gone.

  Chapter Twenty

  Nat

  Not sure how or why, tears flooded me and I couldn’t stop myself crying.

  I did want it to be Reed. I was just scared it was something else.

  But Leah hurt me.

  She hurt me a lot.

  I was always competing with everyone to gain her love.

  I know it sounds stupid.

  I know it’s a dumb thing to get upset about.

  Seeing her so alive just now though, hearing her be her exact old self? It had nothing to do with me. All my help meant nothing.

  I watched her for months but Nora woke her up and Ree
d healed her.

  Again, I was nothing.

  A knock came at the door, and then a familiar voice. “Can I come in?”

  “Do what you want,” I said. She was going to do it no matter what I said.

  “Hey,” Nora said, worried.

  She sat down on the bed in front of me and turned so she could move her hand to my side and sort of have me to herself in an intimate way.

  “You okay?” She asked.

  “Not really,” I shrugged.

  “It’s okay now. Leah’s back,” she said, moving my hair away from my face.

  “She’s just so mean,” I said, realizing it. The first thing she did when she woke up was begin to insult me.

  “She’s just excited,” Nora laughed. “Reed did naughty things with her last night. Wouldn’t that excite you?”

  “Yeah, I don’t know about that,” I scoffed.

  The thought hadn’t crossed my mind though, how would I feel?

  Would I be as insistent as Leah was being? Would I be so sure it was her and it was real?

  I would, I think… Reed’s touch was unforgettable and the things she did were pretty trademark.

  “Yoohooo, gutterbrain,” Nora teased, touching my face in her hands. “Are you really freaked out?”

  “I dunno,” I said, swallowing. “I just don’t want to be happy about it if it’s not true. What if we get those dental records back and it’s not her? Leah could be more distraught than she was before.”

  “I think it’s her,” Nora said. “I don’t think any other demon or ghost would want to do exactly that to Leah.”

  “I guess you’re right,” I said, waking up to it all.

  It was just so jarring; I hadn’t had time to adjust. Didn’t exactly help that Nora and Leah were both treating this like some expected good thing.

  “So, listen… Leah’s got a Ouija board out in the living room-”

  “Nora!”

  “Hey, come on, let's try this okay? I’m just warning you, that’s what’s going on out there. I’m gonna help her. You don’t have to, not if you’re scared. You’ve helped her more than anyone else ever could and nothing can take that away.”

  “You really think that?” I asked.

  “I know that,” Nora said. “And Leah knows it too, okay? Nothing can replace you. This isn’t some contest. It’s just Reed, sweetie.”

  Just Reed…

  Did Reed miss me? Did Reed care?

  I’d spent so long telling Leah nice things about Reed. Sometimes you just want to wish nice things into life.

  Why didn’t she come to me…

  Leah had been having so many dreams…

  A heavy sadness fell over me like a shroud.

  I felt Nora’s lips on mine as she tenderly kissed me.

  “Stop thinking so much,” she whispered, kissing me harder and touching my face.

  “Do you want to be with me?” I asked, scaring myself.

  I wasn’t the type of person to ask these things. I was just sick of being everyone’s second best, everyone’s mistress or affair.

  “Do you want to be with me?” Nora asked, looking down on me, honestly.

  “I just don’t want this to keep going if you’re just going to leave me,” I said. “I’m already fucked up Nora.”

  “You’re not fucked up,” she said, brushing my cheek with her thumb. “You just might be in love with someone else still and that’s not really fair for me.”

  We hadn’t talked about this yet. Not since before, back when Reed was alive.

  “I don’t think I can ever stop loving Leah,” I confessed. That doesn’t mean I have to be with her though. That’s not why…

  “I’d never ask you to do that,” Nora said.

  I felt her hand in mine and she was squeezing it.

  “I’m gonna go back out there okay?”

  “I’ll be out in a sec,” I said, realizing I wanted to know what would happen. The compelling urge to question the unknown was beginning to invade me.

  We both stood up and I moved to get changed. I was still wearing pj’s. I wanted real clothes.

  Distracted, I dug through my drawer and found something normal.

  Then I felt Nora’s body behind mine, her hands touching softly to my arms as she leaned forward and pushed me up against the dresser, shutting the drawer.

  I turned, feeling sensitive.

  Soon as I did though, Nora was kissing me.

  “I love you,” she whispered through passionate gasps.

  I whined in her mouth and felt it.

  No one had said that to me and meant it except Reed and Leandra...

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Leah

  Nothing was happening while I ate.

  I kept looking around the room and listening.

  If I was Reed I’d want to be a nuisance right now.

  She might be being careful though. Nat got so freaked out. She might be scared of scaring me.

  The thought made me smile.

  I was holding my bare foot with my free hand and I imagined Reed holding it too.

  It was weird and dumb but I wanted to feel her everywhere.

  I waited for Nora and found myself anxious.

  My eyes were peeled and I kept waiting for Reed to show. I’d actually seen her yesterday. It made me so happy I wanted to cry.

  It must not be easy for her though.

  They were taking forever. I put the planchette in the middle of the board and just stared.

  “I want to talk to you,” I said.

  The planchette started moving on its own.

  My knees sunk down to the carpet and I got closer and stared.

  The seeing eye hovered over the word: YES.

  I smiled.

  “I wanna touch you,” I said, happily.

  The planchette went in circles in place. She was showing me that word again: YES.

  “Did you miss me?” I asked.

  The planchette began to move down to the letters but then it quickly went back to the single word: YES.

  “Is it hard for you to talk?” I asked.

  She moved it away a second and back to the word: Yes.

  I found myself desperate for an actual sentence.

  “My dreams,” I said, to the seemingly empty room. “Were you really with me for all of those? Was it really you?”

  The planchette moved away from the word but went back to the YES.

  She was answering so calmly. Nothing was for shock value.

  I scoffed and felt a weight lifted.

  “Baby… It was so real,” I felt myself weeping. “I wanted to stay with you but I thought I was making you up.” What if we could’ve stayed together? What if I ruined it all? I could’ve lived my whole life that way, actually feeling her. “I didn’t know it was real,” I said, weeping.

  “Hey, hey, hey,” Nora said, coming over and sitting behind me. I felt her hug me from behind. “What’s wrong, why are you crying?”

  “She said she was in my dreams,” I mumbled. “Not just last night. All those months. It was really her.”

  “Well, that’s a good thing, right?” Nora was being soft and careful with me, supportive as ever.

  I felt Nat sit down next to me on the ground and hold my hand.

  “Sorry I freaked out,” she said. “I miss Reed too.”

  The planchette started to move and we all watched it. It stopped on these letters: I- M-I-S-S Y-O-U T-O-O.

  Then it stilled.

  Nat laughed awkwardly.

  “Such a bitch,” she chuckled.

  T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U

  The board spelt out.

  Nat put her hand over her mouth and started to cry.