by Kendall Ryan
Maybe with our own kids someday?
I gulped down a mouthful of now-tepid coffee, then set the empty mug in the sink.
As crazy as it would have seemed a month ago, now the thought of having some rug rats of my own—rug rats with Evie Reed—didn’t seem crazy at all.
Which meant it was long past time to make an honest man of myself and talk to Cullen. Whatever the outcome, it had to be better than Evie and me sneaking around like a pair of star-crossed teenagers. Cullen was a grown man. He’d be pissed at first, but he’d come around. And then I could finally make this right. I could finally have Evie like I’d dreamed about.
I thumbed through my contacts and tapped Cullen’s number, my muscles tense as I waited for him to pick up.
“What’s up, man?”
He was slightly out of breath, and I glanced at my watch. Eight a.m.
“You already running?” I asked, striving to keep my tone light.
“Nope, just did shoulders at the gym and am about to hit the pavement. Want to join?” he asked.
Seemed like the running trail was as good a place as any to get into this shit. And, hey, at least we’d be close to the lake in the event he straight-up murdered me and needed an easy place to hide the body. After all the lies I’d told him, the least I could do was make it convenient for him.
“Yep, I’m in,” I said. “Meet you by the flagpole in fifteen.”
I was chill as ice cream as I changed into my gym pants and laced up my kicks, but by the time I reached our designated meeting place, my heart was hammering a drumbeat against my ribs. The cadence felt oddly like the lyrics to a song with only one word.
Trai-tor.
Trai-tor.
Trai-tor.
“What’s up, asshole?” Cullen jogged up behind me and punched my shoulder lightly.
I managed a grin in spite of the dark cloud hanging over me. “Hey, prick.”
“Glad you called,” he said. “We haven’t hung out in a while.”
Guilt weighed down my stomach, and suddenly the last thing I felt like doing was running, but I sure as shit couldn’t back out now.
“Yeah, been busy,” I muttered, following his lead and doing a few perfunctory stretches.
“That’s okay. Today’s my five-mile day, so we’ve got plenty of time to catch up,” he replied with an evil grin. “Ready, chump?”
Shit.
I’d been banking on the whole run plus a cooldown taking thirty minutes, tops. I had it all planned out in my head. Ten minutes of bullshit, another ten spent on work stuff, and then, just when he was starting to get short of breath, I’d test the waters on the whole Evie thing.
Short and sweet.
Best of all, if things didn’t go the way I hoped, we wouldn’t be stuck running next to each other, stewing and pissed off. He could go his way, I could go mine, and he’d have the rest of the weekend to cool off.
Five miles from soup to nuts was going to take at least forty-five minutes, maybe even closer to an hour. We hadn’t even started yet, and already that length of time felt interminable.
Lies will do that to you, you jackass.
“Yup, let’s rock and roll,” I said with a grim nod.
We took off at an easy jog, letting our muscles warm up and getting into the groove. Cullen chattered about a blind date he’d gone on that went horribly wrong, and I found myself having to slow my pace because I was laughing so hard.
“A lot of people have pictures of themselves in their apartments, Cull. I have a couple of me and you hiking, and that fishing trip—”
“No, see, that’s what I mean,” he said, shooting me an incredulous look over his shoulder as he jogged. “These weren’t group shots. It was literally just dozens of pictures of herself with her cats on every available surface. They were everywhere. In some, she was looking over one shoulder, like old-style glamour shots, and in others, she was leaning her chin on her hand looking off into the distance. So when I mentioned that she sure had a lot of pictures of herself, you know what she said?”
I shook my head, waiting for the punch line.
“She said, ‘If I don’t love myself, how is anyone else going to love me?’”
I chuckled and sprinted toward him to catch up again. “Isn’t that like a Dr. Phil quote or some shit?”
“It is. In fact, I’m pretty sure ninety percent of the things she said to me were Dr. Phil quotes. It was bizarre. But to top it all off, when I left, she said, ‘I don’t usually do this on the first date, but I really like you,’ and she kissed my forehead, like she was my great aunt or some shit. I’m telling you, bro, she was whacked.”
“So, when are you going to see her again?” I quipped.
He threw his head back and laughed. “Actually, I gave her your number. Hope that’s cool?”
As we wound our way around the lake, I couldn’t help but feel that twinge of nostalgia creeping in. Cullen really was like a brother to me, and I missed this. But since I’d started spending time with Evie, my own guilt over the situation made it almost painful to be around him. It was definitely time to tear off this fucking Band-Aid.
“Sounds like that’s one for the books,” I said lightly. “Speaking of dating, anything going on with your sister in that department? Been a long time since she’s had a boyfriend. Last one I recall was in high school, and even that was barely a thing.”
Cullen shot me a puzzled look and shrugged. “No clue. I don’t ask her about that shit. Mainly because I’m afraid she’ll actually tell me. You don’t get it because Pam is older, I guess, but it’s weird thinking about your little sister . . .” He trailed off and let out a disgusted growl. “You know what I mean.”
“I hear you,” I muttered, resisting the urge to change the subject and abort this clusterfuck of a mission altogether.
Suck it up, asshole.
There were only two options here. Tell him, or end it with Evie. Somehow in the past few weeks, option number two was no longer on the table.
I drew in a breath and let loose the first sally. “She’s a twenty-two-year-old woman, Cullen. She’s got to grow up sometime. Don’t you want to see her find a good guy and settle down? Maybe have a family someday?”
His reply came back without hesitation. “Nope.”
Guilt gave way to irritation, and I scowled at him. “That’s a little ridiculous, don’t you think?”
His gait faltered as he turned his head to stare at me. “No, I don’t think. And I’m trying to figure out why the fuck you’re asking me this shit right now.”
I slowed, and suddenly the sound of his feet pounding the dirt beside me stopped.
Jesus, this was going to suck.
I stopped and turned to face him. He stood, his hands loosely on his hips, but there was nothing casual about his expression.
“You got something to tell me, Smith?”
The anger was already there, bubbling right beneath the surface. As much as I hated being the target of it, this conversation had been an eye-opener, and I knew now more than ever it was the right thing to do, no matter how ugly it got.
His eyes were trained on my face, his jaw clenched as he pressed. “Why all the questions, Smith?”
“Asking for a friend?” I shot back with a smirk, one last attempt to bring things down a notch and keep it light. But Cullen was having no part of it.
“I can’t even believe you’re thinking about this. She’s twenty-two. She’s practically a fucking kid,” he snapped, pacing now like a caged lion. Then he stopped in his tracks, his cheeks going chalk white. “Are you fucking her already?” he demanded in a whisper that somehow felt shittier than if he’d shouted it at me.
“No.”
It felt inhumane to add the caveat—not yet, at least—but there was no question it hung in the air between us like a poisonous smog.
“You son of a bitch,” he snarled, his fist clenching open and closed.
His eyes were wild with anger and something like betrayal, but befo
re I could apologize, he was stalking toward me. He stopped just a few inches from my face.
“If you were anyone else, I’d beat the living shit out of you right now. Instead, I’m going to take you at your word that you haven’t slept with her and give you a chance to try and undo this shit. Stop now and nothing has to change. We can work together, and once I get over the fact that you went behind my back and even considered this shit, we can probably go back to being friends. But that’s if and only if you agree to shut it down.” His nostrils flared as he glared at me. “Now.”
We were friends. The best. But Evie was a person. A woman in her own right with thoughts and feelings and free will of her own. The fact that Cullen was talking about her like she was some antiquated piece of the Reed family property made my blood hum with fury.
I hated that it had come to this, and there was no denying it was my bad, but my anger got the better of me and I shoved him hard in the chest.
“First of all, I wasn’t asking your permission,” I muttered. “I was trying to break some news to you in the right way. Granted, I should’ve told you sooner, but this macho asshole bullshit of yours doesn’t exactly make it easy, and your sister asked me not to.”
The heat of his outrage burned beneath the surface. “You got a lot of nerve telling m—”
“Second of all,” I cut in, jabbing a finger in his direction. “Evie is a twenty-two-year-old without any love life on the horizon, probably in part because of you. You were like her hulking shadow, and guys were afraid to even get near her in high school. You think that’s healthy?” I demanded, pissed off and on a roll now. “She needs space to grow and learn about life. Keeping her close so you can protect her is selfish, Cullen. How is she ever going to learn from her mistakes, or fall and pick herself back up if she’s never allowed to make any?”
Cullen snorted in disgust and crossed his arms over his chest. “And what? You want that first big mistake to be you?” He let out a low laugh. “I know you, man. You haven’t had a serious relationship since Karen, and even that wound up being a royal fuckup. What makes you think you’re good enough for my sister?”
It was a question I’d asked myself more than once in the past few weeks, and I didn’t have a good answer to it yet. But I knew one thing for sure. It wasn’t going to stop me from trying.
“Luckily, that’s not for either of us to decide. That’s Evie’s decision, isn’t it?” I said, cold fury settling over me. “If that seems out of line and you want to fire me or whatever, then go ahead.”
I could have told him that I’d changed. I could have told him that what I felt for Evie was different, but that wasn’t the point. Even if I hadn’t, she still had the right to decide her path in life without worrying about her brother’s approval.
Cullen’s face was stony as he stared me down in silence. “It’s like that, then?” he muttered finally, his legs moving once again and he started past me. “You know your way back. I don’t want to see your fucking face right now.”
I watched him until he was out of sight, half expecting him to turn around and come back. He didn’t, and I took off running the way we’d come, pushing myself to my limit in hopes of burning off some of this adrenaline.
That hadn’t gone well. I’d known it wouldn’t, but at some point during our familiar banter on the run, there had been a brief second—a tiny kernel of hope—that maybe it would turn out better than I’d imagined.
It wasn’t until I got back to my apartment bathed in sweat, my muscles shaking with fatigue, that I realized I hadn’t called Evie yet to tell her what I’d done.
Damn it, I should have warned her.
I sank down on the couch and said a silent prayer that I hadn’t lost both Reeds today.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Little white candles flickered on the coffee table, and soft jazz floated through the air. Smith’s apartment was spotlessly clean, complete with neat rows of vacuum lines in the carpet. Two wineglasses and a bottle of chilled pinot grigio sat beside a plate holding a single slice of pound cake with fluffy whipped cream.
When Smith had invited me over tonight, I’d told him I had dinner plans with Maggie I didn’t want to break, and so he invited me for dessert instead.
“What’s all this?” My gaze cut over to Smith, who was standing beside the sofa smirking.
He shrugged. “Just a little token to say how much I’ve enjoyed spending time together.”
My real question, the one that I couldn’t voice was—is tonight the night?
After our last conversation, I wasn’t sure if Smith had talked to my brother, and honestly, I didn’t want to know. I wanted to remain blissfully in the dark. The only thing I cared about was that we were together, and the sizzle of electricity that flowed between us was swamping all my other senses.
“Sit. Make yourself comfortable,” Smith said.
I lowered myself to the sofa while he uncorked the wine and poured us each a glass.
“Cheers.” I clinked my glass to his, butterflies dancing in my belly.
“To do-overs,” he whispered, a smile playing at the edges of his full mouth.
We each took a sip, and the cool, crisp wine slid down my throat, warming my insides.
Smith leaned closer and reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. The look in his gaze was intense, heated, passionate, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from admitting how much I wanted him.
“You’re beautiful, Everleigh,” he whispered. “Always have been.”
My face heating under his careful scrutiny, I did the only thing I could think to do. I leaned into his touch, my eyes falling closed as his lips met mine.
His kiss was so careful, so controlled. He nipped at my lips, gently pressing his mouth to mine, until I took his lower lip between mine and gave it a sharp bite.
He pulled back, fire blazing in his gaze as his tongue traced the abused spot. “It’s going to be like that, huh?”
Swallowing down my nerves, I knew what I wanted tonight. We’d been building toward this moment since Paris, and only a natural disaster was going to stop me.
After setting both of our wineglasses on the table, I climbed into his lap, then brought my mouth to his neck. I didn’t need words to show him what I wanted. I rocked my hips against his, and found his cock was as hard as steel already.
Gripping my ass in his palms, Smith pulled me closer. The wine and dessert and romance were forgotten. Our rising lust demanded attention.
“What do you want?” he murmured between stolen kisses.
“Everything,” I moaned, my lips brushing his as I spoke.
“That’s a dangerous thing to say to a man.” Smith’s hands roamed up my sides until he reached my bra, his fingertips lightly teasing me.
“You’ve given me pleasure, gotten me off . . .” I licked my lips, meeting his eyes. “But I never got to return the favor.”
His eyes stayed locked on mine as I slid from the couch to my knees in front of him.
“Tonight I intend to change that.”
“Are you saying you want your mouth on my cock, Everleigh?” His tone was steady, but the deep hoarseness to his voice told me that was an idea he was very much okay with.
I reached for the button to his jeans, but he pushed my hand away.
“Put your hands behind your back. Be a good girl.” Smith’s playful side was back, and it had me clenching my thighs together.
I obeyed, lacing my fingers together behind my back, and watched in fascination as he dragged down the zipper to his pants.
Smith tugged down his pants and boxers, freeing the most beautiful male appendage I’d ever laid eyes on.
Our brief encounter in the hotel had been entirely in the dark. The desire to strip him naked and see every inch of his muscled skin raced through me. I’d never been filled with such blazing-hot desire in my entire life.
His large hand circled the base of his shaft and he stroked slowly up the length of it, stopping at the end, wher
e his thumb captured a drop of fluid, smoothing it over the wide tip.
“Is this what you want?” he growled.
Transfixed by his erotic show, I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I nodded my head instead.
“Come here, baby doll.”
Leaning in, I reached for his cock, but Smith made a noise of disapproval in his throat.
“Naughty girl. Keep your hands behind your back. You told me this was about taking me in your mouth.”
My gaze flashed on his, and the challenge I saw in his hazel eyes lit a fuse inside me.
“Open,” he said.
I did, bringing my mouth toward his lap where he placed the head of his cock against my tongue.
Treating him to a leisurely open-mouthed kiss, I dragged my tongue along his silken flesh, loving the way I heard his breath hitch when I did something he liked.
We continued like that, with him feeding his hot length to me, inch by delicious inch. The wetness between my legs was impossible to ignore as my desire burned brighter.
I opened my mouth, releasing him with a soft sucking noise. “I need to touch you.”
“You are touching me. And it feels fucking amazing, I should add.”
“No, I need to take you in my hands.”
He petted my cheek with his thumb, his gaze full of sexy mischief. “If that’s what you want.” Then he released his cock so that it rested on his belly, and gestured for me to go ahead.
I began tentatively at first, touching him carefully, grazing my fingertips across his taut skin.
“You’re not going to break me,” he said on a groan, the sound filled with frustrated need.
Enjoying the weight of his manhood in my palm, I pumped my fist along the entire length of him, massaging his balls with my other hand.
He was well-endowed, and I wanted to savor every hot inch of him. Working his length with my fist, I brought my mouth to him again, sucking, licking, and kissing him as I caressed.
As he stroked my cheek possessively, his eyes stayed glued to my mouth and where his cock was sliding in and out between my parted lips.