Arcadian Nights
Page 8
“And what makes you think that?” Iris asked as she leaned over their table.
Ares smiled at her, his expression and tone bitter. “I’m the only one she’d be ashamed of. Who would want to have the god of war’s demon spawn?”
Hermes held his hand up. “Let’s calm down here. We don’t want a scene.”
“I won’t make one. I came here to talk about Eris, but we didn’t get to that.” He turned to Hermes. “It’s much simpler though. She is in love with you, no matter what she says or does. You hurt her and I will ask Zeus to let me challenge you.”
Hermes would have laughed, but he knew Ares was serious. If Zeus gave permission for a challenge between two gods, they would be mortal for that time and one of them could die. “What I have to say is simple too. I’m in love with her. She’s the one pushing me away.”
Ares stood up. “Neither of us are any good at love.”
Iris touched his arm as he walked off. “Don’t leave, please. Wait and have a drink with me.”
He took her hand and kissed her wrist. “You’re so lovely. My son is very lucky.” He disappeared.
Iris sat down. “But he has no proof, right? He doesn’t really know.”
He shook his head. “No. He’s only guessing. It’s a good one though.”
“You’ve never believed it was you, huh?”
“No. Unless Hera helped Aphrodite cast a spell that could make me forget, it’s not possible.”
Iris blanched. “That’s disgusting. You really think Hera would have helped her do that to you?”
“I thought it possible for years, but not anymore. There’s no quieting the gossip though, and I don’t care about being part of the conversation. I know now it’s not me, and that is all that really matters to me.” He smiled. “I wouldn’t be ashamed to be his father. I keep everyone at a distance, and he took that personally. He’s had his faults, but he’s changed now.”
“So you wouldn’t believe Hera or Aphrodite if they said it was you?”
He thought about this. “I’d ask for proof.” Eros’ paternity had once been a very sensitive issue, but over the past year Hermes had come to care less and less. He’d ceased to suspect Aphrodite of foul play, so to speak, preferring to see her little plot for just what it was. A plot, a scheme, just another one of her games to beguile and ensnare the men she desired. Hephaestus, as far as any of them could tell, didn’t care either. Maybe that proved more than anything else that Ares was the father.
“Oh, who cares? Do you?” Iris asked.
“No. I do wish we’d gotten to talk about Eris though instead of the usual drama with Aphrodite. I can’t believe he told me that. In fact, I can hardly believe he came here and had a conversation with me, even if it was a bit one-sided.”
“Do you believe him?”
“Why would he lie? He loves his sister, even if he loves no one else. Lying about this could only be meant to harm her.”
“Are you happy?”
He thought about that. He felt something like happiness, a touch of excitement mixed with nervousness too. “I won’t be happy until I hear her say it. I thought I was falling in love. Now I find I already am.”
“Then trust she’ll come around. I hid my feelings from Eros for fear of getting hurt. He thought all his efforts were in vain during those days. When she believes you love her, something will happen.”
“So, I need to convince her I love her, all the while worrying about Aphrodite or Ares coming after me.”
Iris laughed. “You’re stuck either way. Aphrodite gets more jealous every day, and Ares seems to be growing impatient for you two to make it official. His desire to see his sister happy has obviously overcome his anger about you and Aphrodite.”
“You think he really wants me to marry her?”
“He must believe it will make her happy. Why not? I think it’s obvious neither of you is the fall in love a dozen times type. Won’t all of Olympus see Eris in a new light if she’s your wife? She’ll be doubly happy if your love wins her the tiniest bit of acceptance.”
“She’s said something very similar. About everyone accepting her, that is. She wants me to speak for her. Or something like that.”
“Correction. She wants her true love to stand up for her.”
He rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t think that way.”
“Maybe she just hides it too well.”
He had to admit it was possible, considering how much she bottled everything else up. “Part of me still wonders if she’d use me, just to change her status.”
“And how quickly would she lose that status if she dumped you or hurt you? She’d have half of Olympus out for her.”
He didn’t like having every point he brought up refuted, typically, but Iris was definitely making him feel better. “You’re very convincing.”
“I hope so. Now stop being paranoid and just live. Go after what you want.”
“Is it that easy?”
She smiled, holding her hand up to admire her wedding band. “Oh yes, and it’s well worth it in the end.”
He smiled and squeezed her hand, wondering if Eris would look so lovingly on a ring from him.
Chapter Five
Eris looked in the mirror again. She liked the knee-length silk dress, but the color was another matter. Supposedly though, green was Hermes’ favorite color. She’d chosen a deep hunter green with a lighter green sash in the back. Would he see it for what it was? Would he understand she was trying to make him happy, to show she was more open and less defensive?
“Pink, I think.”
Eris watched her dress turn to a deep rose. It also got tighter.
“Hera?”
Hera walked up behind her, but she wasn’t smiling. “I thought I’d come see how you were.”
She and Hera had not spoken to each other for years. Hera had, in some ways, forgiven Eris much earlier, as she’d thought the fight with Athena and Aphrodite silly afterwards. She loved mischief for its own sake also, even more so than Eris did.
“You want to talk to me about Hermes.”
“Yes. I’m not going to pitch a fit like Aphrodite, so I thought perhaps we could really talk.”
Eris looked into the goddess’ eyes. “I’ve always been ready to talk, but no one talks to me.”
Hera smiled sadly. “You’re right. I can’t give you specific assurances, but everyone doesn’t hate you the way you think. I don’t hate you and never have. Many fear you. They don’t know you.”
“Disliking someone and hating them don’t yield very different results. It’s all the same from my end.”
Hera nodded. “I know. Even when you were fucking my husband, I didn’t hold it against you.”
Eris smiled. “I thought you found it rather amusing.” She knew she was taking a chance, but she’d always felt Hera was more like her than anyone else in Olympus.
She laughed. “I will admit I spied a little. Your wit surpasses his by leaps and bounds, so it was very amusing. I love him, but I do go elsewhere when I need stimulation above the neck.”
Eris decided to take one more chance. “Did you watch us?”
Hera raised her eyebrows. “Twice, yes, I did. I’m very into voyeurism. I also like to dominate, so I enjoyed watching another woman dominate him. Aphrodite is submissive, so it’s never as arousing when he takes her to his bed. Do you care?”
Eris thought about this. She’d always known Hera had watched them at some point, but she had to admit it had never bothered her. It would, however, bother her if anyone watched her with Hermes. “No, it doesn’t bother me. Have you watched me and Hermes?”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t do that to Hermes. It would embarrass him.”
“Would it?” She could believe it, as he seemed to take their sexual encounters more seriously than she’d expected, but she was still adjusting to thinking of him as capable of feeling such emotions. She wasn’t sure how ready she was to accept them as real.
“Yes. He would be e
mbarrassed, and he would see it as disrespectful to you.” She smiled. “Besides, you’ve both been too smart, making love in your home. You could keep me out if you wanted.”
“I rarely keep my wards up. I didn’t even think of it when he was here. My mind was otherwise occupied.”
“I know. He’ll be here soon, and I only came to tell you one thing.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t worry about Aphrodite. She’s jealous, but she won’t do anything once she sees you’re both in love.”
“Does everyone know our secrets so well?”
“They don’t seem like secrets to me. Hermes is not concealing how he feels about you. I don’t see how you can doubt the depth and reality of what he feels. You’re the one fighting it.”
“How do you know that?” Eris was more than a little tired of everyone reprimanding her for not acting like a giddy girl and fawning all over Hermes.
“Confusion and frustration roll off you in waves. It’s obvious to me.” She smiled. “And you talk to your cats a lot.”
Eris blushed. “So you do spy on me?”
“A little. You can be angry. I’d understand. I love Hermes. He’s good and loyal, the kindest man I have ever known. If it were based upon merit, he might be king of the gods.”
“All of Olympus seems to think just as highly of him.”
“Isn’t it one of the things that attracted you to him?”
She shrugged. “I wanted to see if he really was what he seemed to be. I also wanted to see what was underneath all that. I found more than I expected.”
Hera laughed. “Oh yes, the fiery lover who has Aphrodite panting after him. Many a goddess will be disappointed the day he weds.”
“Have you ever been with him?” Eris told herself she would not be jealous if the answer was yes, but she still held her breath.
“I would say yes to prove to you how much you do care, but the answer is no. We have a mutual respect and a close friendship. I tried a few times, but he values our closeness too much. His friendship with Aphrodite runs hot and cold now because of their affair, and he doesn’t want to risk it. I believe most of his other lovers have been mortal.”
Eris nodded. “I thought so. I’m not sure why.”
“He wants his private life private. Perhaps your little spell was meant to show him something he might never have seen otherwise.”
“I don’t want to think about it.”
“Why not?”
“Because calling it the work of the Fates gives it more importance. There’s more pressure.”
“All relationships have pressure.”
“They do indeed,” Hermes said as he walked into the room. “I let myself in. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Eris tried not to blush, but she didn’t succeed.
“You must be talking about me,” he teased as he put his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. He examined her dress. “You look lovely.”
Eris blushed even more as she looked down at her pink dress. “The color was Hera’s idea.”
“Well, I approve,” he said. “Are you two done discussing me or do I need to leave?”
Hera laughed. “I only wanted to talk to Eris for a moment. I won’t keep you two any longer.”
“Good things were said, I hope?”
Eris smiled. “Yes, but perhaps we can discuss them later?”
He nodded. “Whatever you want.” He turned to Hera. “Would you like to have a drink with us, since you seem to have been speaking in my favor?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Made a play date with Proteus. It’s been months since we saw each other.”
Hermes laughed. “Well, don’t let us keep you.”
Hera smiled and snapped her fingers, disappearing and leaving them alone.
Hermes turned to Eris slowly. “You really do look very pretty, but you can change if you want to.”
Eris looked down at her dress again. “No, it’s fine. I’m thinking I need to get used to being out of my comfort zone.” She wanted to take the words back. They’d sounded clever in her head, but she felt vulnerable now that she’d said them.
He looked down at her with warmth in his eyes. “We’ve been having sex now for a few weeks, and it’s been amazing, but this is what I’m really looking forward to.”
“What?”
He kissed both her hands. “You opening up to me in every other way.”
She took a deep breath. “Not promising anything though.”
“Yes you are.”
She looked up at him, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“The fact that I’m getting a chance is a promise, wouldn’t you say?”
She rolled her eyes, but she had to laugh. “I see it’s going to be hard work keeping up with you.”
He shook his head. “I’m the one who’s going to have a hard time doing that. A woman as complex as you is hard enough to keep up with. It’s even harder when you’re not sure if she wants you to.”
She leaned closer and kissed him softly on the lips. “I’m still thinking about it.”
He stroked her cheek. “That’s all I ask.”
She let him pull her close, wondering when she’d finally understand what she was feeling enough to answer every question he had.
* * * *
“It’s beautiful here,” Eris said.
Hermes smiled, glad he’d brought her back to Arcadia. They sat on the grass not far from the mountain where he had been born. Eris leaned back against his chest, admiring the stars above them. He had taken her hand a few moments earlier, and instead of pulling away she had entwined her fingers with his. He didn’t want to hope that anything Hera had said or anything he had done in the past two hours had made a big change in her attitude, but he couldn’t help feeling exhilarated. Before tonight, she had always shunned such sweet gestures of affection, but now she was rubbing his thumb with hers as if she enjoyed the innocent contact.
“I’m glad you think so. I love it here. I may come back here to live some day.”
“It’s very peaceful here. That sounds nice.”
He thought for a moment, almost deciding to ask her what she would think of living in Arcadia. He wasn’t sure she’d still think of the scene as peaceful. Instead, he looked up at the stars. “Yes, it’s wonderful at night. Something about this place is very mystical, so most mortals leave when the sun sets. Some stay, feeling its power, searching for something.”
“For what, I wonder? Do you think they ever find it?”
He kissed her temple. “Maybe they do. You never know what the Fates may be planning.”
She pulled her hand away and folded her arms over her chest, though she did snuggle closer to him. “Yes, you never do.”
He ran his hands along her upper arms. “Isn’t that good though?”
“Who wants to be set on a path though, with no choice?”
“We always have choice. We don’t spend our whole lives blaming the Fates for our hair color or height. Why for other things?”
She shrugged. “I’m not blaming anyone.”
“Then what’s wrong? Something’s bothering you.”
“You’re asking for it if I tell you.”
“Go ahead.”
She turned to look at him. “I’ve wanted you for a long time. That was my decision, my choice.”
“Okay. I’m with you so far.”
“But do I really like you?”
“That’s something only you can tell me.”
She shook her head. “But you’re being forced on me.”
“No, I’m not. If you tell me to go away, I will.”
“Lachesis planned this.”
“Planned it or foresaw it?”
Eris stared at him, her brows turned down. She seemed genuinely confused. “What? The Fates determine destiny, and she came to me and told me to let myself love you.”
“Because you didn’t love me or because you were fighting that love?”
She turned red. “She got
to you too, I see.”
He shook his head slowly. “No one has said anything to me.”
“Then why do you want me?”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did she really believe all the things he’d been saying to her for weeks weren’t true? “Because I’ve come to care for you. Eris, I’m in love with you.”
She looked down. “I’m good in bed and the exact opposite of Aphrodite. What’s not to like?”
“I didn’t say ‘like’. I said ‘love’.”
“And how are you so sure?”
“I’ve never felt this way before. And I want to get back to my questions.”
Eris stared up at the mountain. “Okay. Go ahead.”
“Did the Fates plan this or foresee it? They never told you to put that spell on me. They could have foreseen the result, but they couldn’t make me react a certain way. It was your magic, not theirs. You thought I would hate you. You expected that, but you got a surprise instead of a quickie.”
Eris laughed. “Nice way of putting it.”
“And what do you think?”
“I don’t know. That’s a very different way of thinking about it.”
“Why would you fight the Fates anyway?”
“I want to be in control.”
“You can be. I’m the helpless one.” He stroked her cheek until she looked at him. “Sitting here, asking you to love me.”
“You could never be helpless. You’re the strongest god.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Maybe not the most powerful or foul-tempered, but those aren’t the same as strength.”
Hermes wasn’t sure he understood what she meant. She was giving him a compliment, but the implications weren’t all that clear to him. “I don’t see what you mean.”
“You never yield.”
He pulled her close. “I would yield to you.”
“I’m not talking about sex.”
“Neither am I. I am helpless until the day you admit that my actions and my love have made you care for me.”
“And what if I never know?”
He kissed her cheek. “You’re very strong yourself. I think I already have my answer though.” As she looked into his eyes, he thought he saw that hint of vulnerability again. “If I’m so strong and never yield, how could anyone force me to love you this deeply? Can’t you trust this?”