by Paige Tyler
His question gives me pause, even though I know he’s simply trying to make conversation and figure me out more. That’s what dating is supposed to be all about, right? But I’ve dug myself into a surreptitious hole I’m not sure when—or how—to climb out of.
“Yeah, we do pretty well for ourselves,” I answer cryptically, sipping my shake through the big, colorful straw. It’s thick and sweet and perfectly chocolatey.
He seems to suspect I’m trying to avoid a sensitive subject because his brows crinkle a little over his straight nose. Maybe that’s simply the lawyer in him. Maybe his gut tells him I’m being secretive. My heart picks up its pace, drumming against my ribs, but I keep smiling and take another sip of my drink.
I will tell him about G&G and my online fame. I definitely will. Just...not right now.
Not yet.
“Where do you live, Grayson?” I ask, again turning the conversation back to him.
He’s quiet for a moment, simply gazing at me, but before he can say whatever seems to be on his mind, the server appears at our table with our cheeseburgers and loaded fries, as well as George’s dinner. While his isn’t nearly as fancy as ours, my fur baby eagerly wags his tail and accepts a pat on the head from the woman before chowing down.
On the other side of the table, Grayson munches on a fry before answering. “I live by myself in an apartment in LA. It’s not too far from the library actually. I had roommates up until I made junior partner at my firm, then I decided to get a place of my own. It’s been fun.” He pauses, musing over his choice of words for a moment before chuckling softly as he poured ketchup on his burger. “Well, sometimes it’s stressful, but mostly, it’s fun. I’ve always been independent like that. In fact, I moved out of my family home the day I turned eighteen.”
I smile and take a bite of burger. Mmm, Franco’s truly does make the best. Big and juicy, they make my taste buds happy. “Sometimes I’m too independent for my own good. But my friends help keep me grounded. Come to think of it, stressful but fun might as well be my life’s motto.” I reach for a fry and nibble on it thoughtfully. “You don’t make it sound like your family was very supportive of you. Did they have something against you becoming a lawyer?”
Asking that question felt odd even as I said it. What parents wouldn’t support a son or daughter aspiring to become a lawyer?
“It’s not that my parents didn’t want me to be a lawyer.” Grayson frowns and pops another fry between his perfect lips. He chews it slowly as though he’s trying to stall answering, but eventually he has to swallow that morsel. Then he picks up his shake and takes a long sip. “It’s that they wanted to control my career. My father is a lawyer, and my grandfather was before him, and so on. They wanted me to join the family firm, but I don’t see eye to eye with them professionally. Different things matter to me than to them. I thought I was blazing my own path when I set out on my own, but they thought I was turning my back on them. That’s why I work so hard. I have to prove to them that I’m capable and talented enough to make it on my own. I wouldn’t even let them help me pay for college or law school. I handled tuition and rent and everything by myself.”
I pause, a dill pickle spear halfway to my mouth. “Wow. That must’ve been really hard for you.”
He shrugs. “It was.”
His gaze shifts downward, as do the corners of his lips, and my heart aches a little in my chest. It’s startling how much it hurts me to see Grayson’s pain. Without thinking twice about it, I reach out and gently grasp his hand.
Electricity seems to crackle in the air the moment our fingers touch. I inhale sharply, the butterflies that always seem to be ever present in my stomach when I’m near him fluttering around like they’re on a sugar high. I can hardly breathe.
Somehow, I manage to suck enough air into my lungs to find my voice.
“Family isn’t exactly something I know a lot about,” I admit softly. “My two best friends are as close to a family as I have, or have had since I was a child, but I do know that your parents will come around eventually. They’ll realize that you simply wanted to chase your own dreams, and that the thought of losing you is worse than their hurt feelings.”
Grayson slowly turns over his palm beneath mine and his thumb traces the back of my hand. “Thanks for saying that.” He offers me a small smile. “It’s strange, I don’t normally talk about this kind of thing with anyone. Being a lawyer has always been my dream, but I had no idea how hard it actually is to make it in the field. Your clients and your boss and your peers judge you constantly for the choices you make and even the choices your parents or family make. The scrutiny is never-ending. Sometimes, I feel like I have to work twice as hard as anyone else, especially because I’m new to the firm.”
Every word Grayson says almost makes me want to cry. It’s like he’s reading right from the diary of my own heart.
“My job is similar,” I say. “When it comes to the judgment and pressure involved, anyway. Do you think we’ll ever get to the point when that doesn’t matter, or at least doesn’t bother us?”
I’m hoping Grayson will have some insight that I don’t. Unfortunately, all he can do is shrug his shoulders. Still, knowing he’s in a similar boat is comforting all the same.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your family?” he asks “Did you become estranged somehow too or…?”
His question makes me wince.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I didn't mean to hit a nerve. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s cool.”
I shake my head. If there’s one thing I can be honest about tonight, it’s this.
“I don’t have family. Not blood family, anyway,” I confide softly. “I lost my mom to a drug overdose when I was little and my dad isn’t in the picture. Actually, I don’t even know who he is. When I met Sutton and Liv in college, it was only then that I realized what family truly means.”
His sensuous mouth curved. “And there’s something beautiful and special in that.”
His voice is warm and sincere as it washes over me.
“Yeah, there is,” I agree. “They’re always there for me no matter what.”
Underneath the twinkling lights of the burger shack, Grayson and I slowly smile at each other. He has a unique presence about him, and though we’re different people, there’s something about his heart and soul that resonates with me in a way that no other guy’s ever has. When he looks at me, I know he’s seeing the true me, not the mask that I’m sometimes forced to wear.
I bite the inside corner of my cheek hard as realization hits me.
I have to come clean with Grayson—sooner rather than later. Sutton was right when she said I was hiding a part of myself by not telling him about Glossed & Glammed. To really understand me, he has to know what I’ve been through and what mountains I’ve climbed. Sutton and Liv are an integral part of that, as is my thriving social media fame.
“Listen, Grayson...”
Suddenly, George lets out a sharp bark.
I stop to see what has him so excited. Across the beach, an adorable poodle with a pink bow on her head is making eyes at my pup. I barely grab for his leash before he scurries toward the poodle, eager to play with his cute new friend. The leash jerks out of my hand, sending me sprawling unceremoniously across the sand. Swift as a superhero, Grayson leaps out of his seat. He manages to snag the end of George’s leash at the same time he scoops an arm around me and pulls me into his chest.
We sit there, covered in sand, arms haphazardly wrapped around one another as George tugs at his leash, focused on the poodle. Grayson and I look at each other and laugh.
It’s the first time in a while that I’ve really, truly laughed from the bottom of my heart and it feels so good that I don’t want to stop. I laugh until tears prickle in the corners of my eyes and my sides ache.
This isn’t a painted, plastered smile. It’s real.
“Tonight has been amazing, Kali,” Grayson murmurs once he
’s managed to catch his breath from laughing so much. He brushes some sand from my cheek and leaves my skin tingling, still grinning widely as we sit there on the beach together.
“It really has,” I answer truthfully.
I’d been so worried about it all going wrong, but every minute has been perfect. We lean in a little more toward each other, our lips mere inches apart. He’s so close I can already taste the kiss.
As if on cue, from across the bar, I hear a slew of hushed, excited whispers. At first, I can’t make out what’s being said or who’s saying it, but then I hear my name. An ice-cold chill immediately grips me. I pull back, my heart racing for an entirely different reason now.
We’ve got to go, or my Cinderella act will be over.
“How about we get out of here?” I suggest quickly even as the group of gawking girls is growing by the second and getting closer. More and more people at the shack are starting to realize that someone famous has slipped into their ranks.
This isn’t good.
Noticing my unease, Grayson glances over his shoulder. When he sees the crowd filming, confusion crosses his handsome face.
“Are they taking pictures of us?” he asks in disbelief. “Why would they do that?”
“Maybe they think George is adorable, which he is,” I sputter. My whole body is starting to shake with a desperate need to escape. This isn’t how I wanted Grayson to find out about me. “Come on. We need to go.”
As I jump to my feet, dragging Grayson and George along, the small crowd realizes that I’m trying to leave and starts descending on us.
“Do they know you?” Grayson asks, still sounding confused.
“Of course not!” I yelp as the group of girls start excitedly chanting my name.
Grayson stares at them, then at me, and all I can do is stare helplessly back.
This is it.
I’ve been caught in my lie and now I’ve got no choice but to deal with it.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Kali!” the group of girls squeal as they rush over to us.
They circle me excitedly, effectively blocking me from Grayson and him from me. I can’t even offer him any explanation right now, even though my head is spinning so much I don’t think I’d be able to do much explaining anyway. I clutch George’s leash tightly, thankful that my pup is social and friendly. I’ve never gotten flanked like this with him around before. My fur baby presses against my legs, trying to hide while uncertainly appraising the girls barraging me with question after question, followed by more questions.
The second the Glammers approach, my whole persona shifts into business mode. It’s like a light switch flicking on. Running on instinct alone, my practiced G&G grin lights my face, my shoulders automatically straighten, and I smooth a hand over my yellow blouse to make sure it’s still perfectly in place. Despite my polished presence, inside, my heart is sinking like a rock. All I can think about is what must be running through Grayson’s head.
Judging by his bewildered and concerned expression, he isn’t happy.
“Kali, Kali!” the girls chant before jumping into their questions.
“Who’s the guy?”
“Is he going to be on your channel?”
“That picture Sutton posted the other day of you, her, and Liv on the beach was so cute! Where’d you get your swimsuit?”
“Can you give us a shout out the next time you’re live on Insta?”
“We saw you have two million followers now! That’s amazing! How do I get that many?”
“Is it hard to start a beauty business?”
“Can we take selfies with you and Georgie?”
To be honest, I hardly hear any of their questions. Mostly because I’m too busy trying to hastily put together some sort of apology script for Grayson once I’m able to pull away from the G&G fans. Unfortunately, it’s not really like I can tell them that now isn’t the best time for selfies. Interacting with eager fans is a necessary part of being an influencer. If I get testy with them, I could sink the whole G&G ship.
“Of course, Glammers!” I gush, imitating Sutton’s cheerful, zealous tone as best as I can. She seems to soak up every second in the spotlight and I need a bit of her self-assurance right now. “I’d love to take some pics with you, but then I’ve got to head out. The girls and I have so many super exciting things planned for our Glammers over the next few months that I need to get back to work on them.”
I cast a glance at Grayson, whose arms are folded over his chest. His dark brows draw together over his nose, almost meeting in the middle, he’s frowning so hard.
I clear my throat loudly and try to keep my smile in its perfect place. “Also, my friend over there doesn’t like to be on social media. Do you think we can keep him out of the pics for now?”
The girls look longingly at Grayson, but thankfully, they’re so happy to see me and George in real life that they don’t waste any time worrying over him. Once they get their fill of selfies, hugs—and George—they retreat. For the moment at least.
Grayson walks over to stand beside me, absently reaching down to give George a pat when he nudges his hand with his wet nose.
“I guess we should leave while we have the chance,” Grayson mumbles once we’re alone again, obviously noting that we’re still being closely watched. “Before they start taking more pictures.”
He pulls out his wallet, taking out enough to cover the burgers and shakes we didn’t get to finish as well as George’s meal, then adds a generous tip before we make our escape.
We head back to Grayson’s car in silence. The entire walk there, my body feels like it weighs ten thousand pounds. Every step takes a concentrated measure of effort. Grayson, who’d been so chatty and warm earlier, has gone ice cold. It’s not like I can blame him. We had a wild pack of Glammers descend on us like vultures hungry for a snack.
How can I fix this?
Can I even fix this?
“Kali,” he begins at the same time I hesitantly whisper, “Grayson.”
We both go quiet, staring at one another. I let out a soft, feeble laugh, hoping it will make him smile at least a little bit, but there isn’t much amusement in his handsome features.
“What was that about back there?” he asks quietly, jerking his chin toward Franco’s. There’s a grimness to his voice that sets my teeth on edge. “It was like those girls spotted a celebrity. Have you done makeup for a Hollywood star or something?”
Sensing the growing tension between the sexy lawyer and me, George gives a quiet whine. He licks my hand and nervously wags his tail until Grayson caresses his ears. It’s only then that George relaxes, and I’m glad that at least my puppy is finding comfort right now.
My mind races as I try to figure out how to explain what just happened. “Those girls probably just thought George was cute…”
I trail off, losing the energy to deceive Grayson again. I’ve already lied about my career, and now I’m only digging the hole deeper.
Besides, I can tell by his face that he knows there’s more to it than that.
I want more than anything to go back to when Grayson and I were having a nice, sweet, deep conversation about our lives over burgers, fries, and shakes. That connection we had sitting there at the table in Franco’s was real. But I guess this is real, too. It’s hard, but it’s real.
Not everything can be simple, can it?
Biting my lip hard, I run a hand through my hair and shake my head. It’s time to stop being so secretive. Grayson deserves to hear the whole truth about my career.
“I’m an influencer, Grayson,” I say with a sigh. “My two friends and I have a beauty brand that we run on YouTube and social media. Actually, we’re pretty famous—like, really famous.”
He nods and leans back against the side of his car, then stares down at his feet, idly watching a few golden grains of sand get tossed in the breeze. I brace myself for what I’m sure will be an uncomfortable conversation once he’s soaked in the truth.
&nbs
p; To my surprise, Grayson doesn’t question why I lied. He doesn’t get mad or irritated. He doesn’t accuse me of being sneaky or even vain. I almost want him to be angry because that would assuage my guilt, but he won’t even let me have that.
What he does say is just as heart-wrenching, however, only in a different way.
“Getting recognized must be pretty ordinary then, huh?” he asks.
I nod.
He considers that. “It must be difficult knowing that everywhere you go, people expect you to be who they’ve seen on their phones and computer screens. That pressure must be intense. I’m not surprised you didn’t tell me right from the beginning.”
I blink.
Here Grayson is, finding out that I’ve been hiding part of my identity, and he’s more concerned with my feelings.
He really is one of a kind.
I offer him a small smile. “Actually, when you and I met, I was running late for some meetings and a group of fans noticed me. I ducked into the library to get away from them and when you didn’t know who I was…” I shrug apologetically. “It felt amazing to have a chance to be myself.”
Grayson nods again. He inhales slowly, and when he does, I can hear resignation in the heavy breath. I already know what he’s going to say next—and that it’s going to devastate me.
His brown eyes, now somber and defeated, continue to pierce mine.
Please don’t say it, I silently beg him even as he opens his mouth to speak.
“Kali, I think you’re amazing.” As always, his rich voice is steeped in sincerity. Any other time, those words would’ve made me soar through the evening sky, but right now, it makes me want to melt into a puddle of sadness. The hot air balloon in my heart has definitely popped. “It’s just… You know the pressure I’m facing with my own career. In fact, you probably know it all too well. One wrong photo that a client or employer sees when they look me up online and I’d be done. I’ve had to fight so hard already…”
His voice cracks a little and he immediately falls silent, choosing instead to dig his hands into his pockets.