by Annie Dalton
Hell dimensions are more complicated than I’d realised; they have this whole evil ecosystem going on. I’m not sure how many hell species there are in total, but it’s a lot!
Lola gave me a sly nudge. “Ooh, Mel, check out the cute hell doggie!”
I shuddered in revulsion. “Euw Lollie, it’s bald!!”
We’d covered hellhounds in Dark Studies but it was the first time I’d seen a picture. Struggling not to laugh, Lola read out the old-fashioned angelic script under the engraving.
”These vile dogges do ofttymes attempte to walke on their hynde legges, which maketh them unpleasantly to resemble a drooling human.’ Oh, yuck - listen. It says, ‘The hell dogges turdes smell vile and after sunset beginne to glowe a pallid green like to a subterranean fungus.’”
I firmly snapped off Lola’s little light. “We are never going to the Hell dimensions, Lollie, so we will never have to smell a hell dogge’s pallid green poo. Now focus!”
We eventually succeeded in cobbling an outline together for Mr Allbright. As we panted in through the shimmery gates of the Angel Academy, I was ecstatic. My birthday could go ahead as planned!
“Babe, do you mind handing this into Mr Allbright?” Lola said unexpectedly. “I’ll see you tonight at Rainbow Cove, OK?”
She raced off, dark curls flying.
“OK,” I said to empty space.
Lola and I generally help each other get glammed up, but I just assumed she was organising a super-special birthday surprise.
When I got back from school I did all the things you do. I showered, washed and dried my hair, and put it up, leaving just a few cute little loose curls dangling down. I did my make-up, splashed on my fave perfume, and slipped into my shimmery lilac dress.
I was bubbling with excitement all the way to Rainbow Cove. I made my way down the winding cliff path, worn smooth and shiny from centuries of angels’ feet, and OK, I did notice it was strangely quiet - also strangely dark.
I just thought they were hiding. I genuinely thought that when I reached the final bend, all my mates would leap out of the shadows, screaming
Surprise!”
But when I came round the bend, there were no shadows. The beach was flooded with moonlight -and it was totally deserted
No fairy lights, no music, no delicious buffet. Nothing.
Absolutely nobody had turned up.
Chapter Three
I sat down on the damp sand in my new dress and sobbed my heart out. I was totally destroyed. Didn’t my friends know how much this meant? Didn’t they care?
Then all at once, as I wept and blubbered into my hands, I felt this… beautiful vibe.
I looked up, snivelling and bewildered. But it wasn’t my friends I saw standing in front of me, but a group of shimmering light beings. I’d seen these luminous beings once before shortly after I arrived in Heaven. You could say they were my first glimpse of what it means to be a real angel, made of nothing but love and light. And now my cosmic angels had come back.
I scrambled to my feet, respectfully tugging down my dress as they silently gathered round me, and I heard their strangely impersonal voices inside my head. “So today’s your birthday?”
“Oh, about that,” I gulped. “You see—”
The night was suddenly full of whizzy little rainbows: zoom, zoom, zoom. Too late I realised they were zooming towards me! As each miniature rainbow hit my energy field, it exploded into all its separate colours: scarlet and bright pumpkin orange, sunflower yellow and vivid emerald green, sky blue, midnight blue and violet. Then all these colours started to swirl into awesome cosmic-type patterns.
More awesome still, my energy field had started flashing the exact same swirly patterns in the exact same rhythms. I’d like to tell you how long it went on, but I truly have no idea. Finally it was over.
“Happy birthday, angel girl!” the voices sang.
And they’d gone.
An instant later, twinkly fairy lights sprang on around the beach. A heavenly hip-hop beat started up.
“SURPRISE!”
My friends surrounded me, laughing and pelting me with sparkly confetti.
Lola flung her arms round me. “Happy birthday, carita! Did you enjoy your upgrade?”
“Is that what that was!” I whispered.
There’s me thinking I’m such a rebel, giving myself a DIY birthday, when it really was my birthday - my first true birthday as an angel! Angelic birthdays aren’t about getting one year older (we’re immortals, duh!). They’re about getting more, you know… angelly!
“Open my pressie,” Lola begged. She handed me a large box tied with about a zillion glittery ribbons, hovering anxiously while I carefully untied every one.
Inside was a lamp constructed out of tiny jewel-coloured fairy lights, and cunningly strung together in the shape of a v. cute, v. girly handbag.
I just stood there going, “Omigosh, Omigosh.”
Lola’s face crumpled. “Didn’t I get the right one? Oh, Mel, I was so sure I’d got the right one.”
“No, it is,” I breathed. “It’s exactly the same.”
“I can change it. It’s just you’re always talking about that cool handbag lamp your mates got you for your thirteenth—”
I could still hear Lola anxiously burbling on, just as I could still see the fairy lights and Mo busily setting out my birthday buffet, but a part of me was back in Pizza Hut with my human mates…
We’d eaten as much as we could physically stuff in, and were chatting happily over pizza remains and slightly melted ice cream.
Suddenly Sky jumped up and rapped her glass. “Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking—“she started in a posh voice.
Jax blew bubbles rudely in her Coke, and Sky went into fits of giggles.
“Stop it, you big pig! Tell her, Mel! She’s ruining your big moment!”
“Your big moment, you mean,” Jax snorted. “Look, just make your stupid speech then we can go and see the movie!”
Sky self-consciously shook back her hair. “OK, um, I just want to say, don’t think the Shocking Pinks are cheapskates, but we decided it would be better to club together so we could buy you something fabulous.”
“I offered to just nick it,” Jax said shamelessly. “But Sky said nicking a birthday present would be bad karma.”
Karmen put a gift-wrapped box on the table. “Tada!”
My friends watched expectantly as I unwrapped the exact twin to the lamp Lola had just given me in Heaven.
And just like now I was so amazed I didn’t know what to say…
“You hate it, don’t you?” Lola was saying tragically.
I finally found words. “Lola, It’s PERFECT! I can’t believe you got it for me.”
“Step aside Sanchez, my turn to amaze the birthday girl!” Reuben shoved a tiny package into my hand. “As you can see, wrapping presents isn’t really my thing,” he added cheerfully.
This was an understatement. Reubs’ present was virtually unwrapping itself as he was talking; I just caught the glimmering crystal charm bracelet before it fell on the sand.
“It’s totally luminous,” I breathed. “Where ever did you find it?”
He looked a bit embarrassed. “Millie made it. I had to give her all your personal info then Millie picked charms which fitted. See there’s a shell because you have this thing about the sea. This charm’s an ancient angelic symbol for protection, and this star - but I guess you don’t want to hear about every little bead, right?”
“Thanks, Reubs, I love it.”
There was a slightly awkward pause.
“Well, better get back to my DJ duties,” he grinned.
When he was out of earshot, I said, “Um, I don’t think I’ve met Millie?”
“Oh, she and Reubs have known each other for ever,” Lola said.
It has to be her, I thought. During a late-night talk on our Limbo mission, Reubs had let slip that he had a major crush then flatly refused to give any more information. But a child
hood sweetheart who made her own jewellery sounded exactly up Reuben’s street.
Until a few weeks ago, I’d always thought of him as like my angel big bro. But since our soul-retrieval assignment we’d become unusually edgy with each other - in fact lately Reuben had seemed to be going out of his way to avoid ever being alone with me. I was worried I’d upset him. I kept asking Lola if he’d said anything to her. She insisted he hadn’t, but I noticed she didn’t deny he was upset.
My party had been going for over an hour when I heard someone calling my name. I left the lights and the music without a thought, and ran down to the water’s edge, where Michael was waiting.
“I can’t believe you made it to my party!” I bubbled. “I heard you were away.”
I was so happy to see him, I barely registered that our headmaster wasn’t smiling.
“I just got back,” he said in a quiet voice. “Melanie, I realise this is unfortunate timing, but I need you to come with me.”
When I’m shocked, I sometimes do this silly high-pitched giggle. “You actually want me to leave my own birthday party—?”
Then I saw Michael’s expression and my voice trailed off.
He looked unbelievably sad. “I’m afraid so. You see we’ve got to send you back home.”
Chapter Four
Reflections flickered over my headmaster’s face as he drove us downtown to the Agency building.
We’ve got to send you back home. The words went round in my head like a sound loop. I was too scared to ask him what was going on. Was I going to be kicked out of school? I’d come dangerously close to being expelled in my first term. Had I crossed another line with my cheeky DIY birthday?
Without taking his eyes off the road, Michael said, “You didn’t do anything wrong, Melanie.”
Still freaked from being snatched from my party, I wasn’t sure I believed him. “Honestly?” I asked tearfully.
He nodded. “You simply weren’t ready for this until now.”
Now I was even more confused. “Sorry to be dense, but what’s changed exactly?”
Michael managed the glimmerings of a smile. “Have you forgotten what day it is already?”
“Oh right! You mean because of the upgrade!”
If I’d been thinking at all clearly, I might have asked why someone would need an angelic upgrade just to return to Earth. But I wasn’t thinking full stop.
An amazing possibility had just occurred to me.
“Will I be able to see my family!”
“Of course,” he said warmly. “You must see them while you’re there.”
“And my friends?”
Michael nodded.
“Omigosh, this is SO cool!” I almost kissed him! It wasn’t a punishment; the opposite of a punishment in fact!! I’d passed some big angelic test and for my reward I was going to see all the human beings I loved most in all the Universe.
As we drove into the underground car park, I sneaked a wary look at Michael. Why did he still look so sad ? Why would he be sad about such fabulous news? “This IS just a visit, right?” I asked anxiously.
He manoeuvred into a space and switched off the engine. The pause was just long enough to make my heart turn over.
Our headmaster is such a total sweetie that I tend to forget he’s also an archangel - a being so advanced you can’t even begin to imagine what goes on inside his head. As Michael met my eyes with his intense gaze, I felt like he was seeing deep into my soul.
“It’s not just a visit, Melanie, nor is it an assignment as yet -what we have here is an extremely delicate situation which could turn into your most challenging mission so far.”
Since ‘delicate’ is polite Agency code for ‘impossible’, and ‘most challenging’ is code for ‘really, really gruelling’, my mind immediately flipped into overdrive. My first thought was that someone in my family had had an accident or been taken ill. But then wouldn’t Michael just say so?
I followed him anxiously through two sets of swing doors and into a lift. The doors closed and we went humming up into the clouds.
I watched the glowing numerals flash up on the panel, without properly seeing them. I heard myself say, “It’s one of my friends, isn’t it?”
Michael gave a troubled sigh. “At this moment in time, all your friends are giving us cause for concern. I don’t think you realise what a wonderful effect you had on those girls.”
I almost fell over. I’d had a wonderful effect! Was Michael crazy? It was completely the other way round!! It was Jax who’d taught me to stand up for myself. And Sky -well, you couldn’t not be affected by Sky!
“I don’t think so, Michael!” I objected. “I had NO luck stopping Jax from shoplifting.”
He flashed me his soul-piercing look. “Melanie, until you befriended Eve Jackson, no one ever showed the first sign of caring what happened to her.”
My eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t know.”
“I thought perhaps you didn’t,” he said gently. “That’s why I’m telling you now.”
I was feeling rising panic. “Michael, I know I’ve had the upgrade and everything, but are you sure I’m up to this? Shouldn’t you send a real, grown-up agent? Not to mention someone who’s not so, you know, involved?”
He shook his head. “The Agency believes you know your friends better than any adult agent ever could. We have every confidence that you would quickly detect any, shall we say, unsavoury influences.”
The way he stressed ‘unsavoury’, I thought I’d sussed what he was telling me. “Don’t say Karms is in love again! That girl has the worst taste in boys!”
Michael took a breath, “Melanie, I think I should warn you that Park Hall is not exactly like it was when you left.”
“I’ve only been gone eighteen months in Earth time,” I teased. I was going to say, “Hopefully my mates won’t all be wearing silver jump suits!” But at that moment I caught sight of myself and gave a shriek of horror.
“You’ve got to take me back to school! I’m serious Michael! I can’t go looking like this!”
No way could I go back to the gritty inner city wearing a shimmery lilac slip dress and flip-flops decorated with sparkly stars!
This time Michael actually chuckled. “You won’t have to. I think you’ll find my assistant has already anticipated your needs!”
We hurried along gleaming corridors to Departures, where Michael’s assistant, Sam, was waiting.
He immediately handed me a large flamingo-pink carrier bag from one of my favourite heavenly department stores. “I’d heard you make a habit of going on missions in your party clothes,” he teased, “so I asked one of our stylists to pick out a few mix-and-match outfits. And of course you get our delightful Agency flight bag with all the usual freebies!” he added with a grin.
I dashed off to the cloakrooms to change. I was so impressed with my outfits. The Agency stylist had perfectly captured the inner-city vibe. For the outward journey I picked out a denim jacket, a cute flippy skirt and the most angelicious pink suede boots. Talk about going home in style!
I had a quick rummage through my flight bag. The contents seemed pretty standard - trail mix, Agency journal, comb, glow-in-the-dark pen, mobile - until I found the emergency flares. Why the sassafras would I need flares? I tinkered for a bit with the functions on my tiny Agency mobile, then had a naughty impulse and rang Lola.
She picked up at once almost like she’d been expecting my call. In the background it sounded like my party was really hotting up. I explained that I’d had to bail on my own celebrations because I was being sent back to my old human home.
“We had to zoom off to medieval France in the middle of mine, if you remember!” she yelled over the music.
“I wish you could come too,” I said wistfully. I’d always had this big fantasy of taking Lola round all my fave human haunts.
She gave a sudden shriek. “Omigosh! I only just heard what you said. You’re actually going home? That’s HUGE! But I know you’re gonn
a do great!”
Feeling suddenly tearful, I picked my way back through the crowds of celestial agents waiting for flights out of Heaven.
Eventually I spotted Michael chatting to one of the time technicians. This seemed like a good opportunity to sneak a word with his cute assistant.
“Nice boots!” Sam grinned when he saw me.
“I don’t suppose the Agency mentioned how long I’ll be staying?” I asked anxiously.
He shrugged. “As long as it takes basically, but I should think two weeks max. You’ll be arriving on Friday afternoon as everyone comes out of school. Should make it easy to track down all your mates.”
Sam handed me my angel tags, the little disk that tells everyone we’re on official heavenly business. “And don’t forget,” he reminded me with a grin, “you’re only a phone call away!”
“Yes, Dad,” I said, covering my nerves with a joky laugh.
Michael waved me over. “Any last minute questions or concerns?” he asked quietly.
Only about a billion, I thought, gulping.
For the first time I was going to be travelling in one of the Agency’s super-slick, one-angel-only time capsules.
As I ducked inside, I gave myself a stiff pep talk. Melanie, you have survived Ancient Rome! I told myself severely. You can surely cope with going back to Park Hall.
Two weeks max. Three hundred and thirty-six hours of Earth time. I could handle that.
The glass door purred smoothly into closed position.
The maintenance guy held up both hands. Ten seconds to go.
I waved and was surprised to hear a tiny tinkling of crystals. I’d forgotten to remove my bracelet. I nervously fingered the charms. The shell is because you love the sea. This one is an ancient angelic symbol for protection…
THREE, TWO. My capsule lit up like solar flares.
WHOOSH! I was blasted out of Heaven.
Reuben has tried to explain angelic time-travel to me SOO many times. As far as I’m concerned it’s just magic!
Picture yourself hurtling through a vast nothingness, inside a fragile glass shell. Outside, starry streams of cosmic energy spiral off to form dazzling whirlpools, which get sucked into bigger, brighter whirlpools, and on into infinity.