by Sam Crescent
Dean poured out more of his thoughts.
“I miss you and I think to help myself, I need to stop coming here as often as I do. Carla, I loved you more than anything. It hurts being here and knowing I can’t have you.”
He didn’t say anything more. Instead, he stood and laid a kiss to each of their stones before leaving. His friends and family told him to start moving on. Carla would have hated to see him torn up this way. He would take their advice and stay away for a little while. At least having Laura's company would help him to deal with the loss. He drove back home with a heavy heart.
When he walked through his door he went straight to his computer. After a quick glance over the words and a few changes, he was off.
“I’m here to help you,” the mystery woman said.
“How can you help me?” he asked. All he wanted to do was listen to the woman talk. Her voice teased him in every way possible. She placed a hand over his heart. The contact sent a bolt of electricity up his arm.
“You’ve experienced pain and I’m here to help you through it. To see how wonderful living your life can be. I’m here to be everything you’ve ever wanted.”
He listened to her sweet tempting words and he found himself drowning, drowning in helplessness and hope. The need to hold her and thank her was strong within him. By being in her company for a few moments had helped him to regain some balance within his life. He didn’t want her to go, ever. For so long he’d been alone and now an angel had taken pity on him.
“I’m no angel,” she warned him as if she could read his thoughts.
“You are to me.” He took her hand and together they walked inside his house. Whatever was about to happen he was ready for. His heart filled with the wonder of the future. For too long had he been filled with doubt and despair. A small ray of sunshine, so thin and fragile that it could be mistaken as a trick of light, had entered his life. He wasn’t prepared to let it go. His life and heart were open for the adventure that was about to happen.
Chapter Five
Dear Diary,
He loved my work. Dean loved my work. I took my laptop with me and I’ve started my project, it's a romance. I couldn’t resist. He didn’t laugh though. A smile played on his lips for merely a second, but that was all. No mockery or disgust. He still hasn’t told me his pen name. Pouting. I’d love to read something he’s written. As always, he reads my stuff and criticizes it. What I love most is that he’s able to keep writing even with me typing away in the spare space he’s set up for me.
Moving on to other stuff in my life, though I could talk about Dean for hours. I finally heard back from the library and guess who got the job? That’s right, me.
Anyway... Bye for now.
Laura got the job at the library and nothing gave her more satisfaction than quitting work at the diner. They were sad to see her go, but she got her paycheck and she deposited it into her bank account. College finished for a block of three months and the summer was in full swing. On her spare afternoons she took her work to Dean for him to read through and he became a teacher for her stories. Not only did they work on writing, they sometimes talked about their favourite authors and what they loved about writing in specific genres.
One afternoon she went to his house to find him in the garden with a spade, trowel and some seeds.
“I’m guessing these aren’t for your gardener?” she asked.
“Leave your bag inside," he instructed. "I think we deserve some exercise and time spent outdoors in the fresh air. Besides, I’ve got more seeds to sow.” He tossed the trowel at her and she let it fall to the floor.
“You were supposed to catch it,” he told her, moving forward to pick up the instrument.
“Do I look like a woman who catches moving obstacles on a regular basis?” She folded her hands over her chest.
Dean shook his head and nudged her shoulder. “Put your bags away.”
Laura smiled as she walked away. The easy banter between them was always enjoyable. She felt like they’d known each other for years as opposed to the few weeks he’d been living in Cape Falls. He’d moved before attending the picnic.
She returned and found him on his knees over a recently turned patch of soil.
“Here,” he said and threw some seeds her way. Laura knelt beside him and looked at the packet—Wintergreens.
“Seriously, you’re preparing for winter?” she asked.
“As a writer, you must learn to take on many hobbies. One of mine is growing vegetables and fruit. This is a great place to grow them with plenty of room.”
She shrugged her shoulders and followed his direction, making sure the seeds were evenly spaced.
“So, away from writing, tell me more about Laura Cox,” he said.
She paused and glanced in his direction. “I’ll tell you more about me if you tell me more about you,” she suggested.
Dean stopped and leaned back on his haunches. “Are you trying to bargain with me when I’m teaching you how to write?”
“Actually, you’re not teaching me how to write. That comes naturally. You’re teaching me how to hone my skills to make me a better writer,” she argued.
He glared at her a second. “Teaching women how to argue was a grave mistake in male history.”
Outraged, she gasped. “That’s an awful thing to say. We’ve got a lot of goods things about us. You can’t tell me you’ve got the viewpoint that leaves us women barefoot and pregnant?” Laura couldn’t believe it. She refused to believe it.
“No. Not just barefoot and pregnant. You can cook and clean too.” Dean responded and laughed. “Almost had you there,” he teased.
“Don’t do that. I’d hate to think I’m being taught by a self-righteous pig who thinks a woman’s place is in the home,” she replied.
“I’m surprised you don’t have that exact opinion yourself. Since being in Cape Falls I've had the impression most of the residents still share that same thought process,” he said.
Laura thought then about her parents and the rest of the families in Cape Falls. Most of the women went to work after their children were grown. Her own mum refused to work and she’d heard her say many times that a workplace was for a man.
“I guess many folks here haven’t moved on with the times,” she offered as way of explaining everything.
“Don’t worry about it. Just don’t think you’ve got to walk the same path as everyone else. You’re free to make your own choices. Don’t let anyone hold you back. Not even me. Sprinkle the soil gentle over the seeds and be careful not to disturb them.”
She smiled and covered the tiny seeds. He placed netting over the freshly planted soil, which she learned helped protect the seeds from birds wanting to eat them.
“Tell me about yourself then, and I’ll tell you some bits about me,” she said.
“Okay. I promise,” he agreed.
“All right. What do you want to know?" she asked and sipped from the glass of lemonade he’d brought out. The sun was high in the sky and its heat was beating down on them.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you," she continued. "I got the job at the library. I work four days a week and only for a couple of hours each day. Should be fun.”
“Congratulations. I take it waitress work wasn’t cutting it?”
“Not even," she answered. "I hated it, and there’s this guy who keeps following me around, or at least he’s there wherever I turn. He drives me crazy,” she admitted.
Dean was quiet for a short time and she sat by him on the bench and gazed at their handy work. Most of the seeds had been planted and patches of the garden started to look structured.
“Do you think he’s got a crush?” Dean asked.
She couldn’t help but to burst out laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” Dean asked.
Laura laughed harder. Dean joined in and they both chuckled together.
“Peter Miller does not have a crush on me,” she told him and chuckled to herself. The idea was ridic
ulous.
“Why not? You’re a woman and you’re in his age bracket.”
“Believe me. I’m not his type. He goes for the blonde and beautiful ones,” she said to him.
“You don’t know what he thinks. He may have a crush and not know what to say. Just because your hair isn’t blonde, don’t rule out an attraction,” he replied.
Laura stared at him. He hadn’t said she was not beautiful.
“I’m fat. No man would stare twice at me,” she responded.
Dean tapped her on the hand. The action shocked her, even though it wasn’t painful. “Hey,” she said.
“You know, you women get me. Do you really think men care about body shape?” he asked.
“You haven’t been in the dating scene for some time. You clearly you don’t understand how important it is,” she argued.
“You’re not fat, Laura, and far from it and while you’re on my property you don’t say that word. Let's move on because I feel this subject is going to lead to more arguing.” Dean lifted his glass and took a long swig.
She stared at him a few seconds before drinking from her own.
“What movies do you like?” he asked.
“Romance,” she said instantly, no longer trying to play it cool.
“Great. I’ve got a few movies to watch over the weekend. What do you think about watching them with me? I’ve already phoned your parents for permission. I didn’t want to ask you and get your hopes up in case they refused.”
It sounded as if he thought her child and that he had to get her parents permission. Laura placed her glass down on the grass lawn and leaned back folding her arms. Most people her age were already in their own places.
“I’ve got to get my own place,” she muttered under her breath. Looking at Dean she responded, “Yes, I’d love to watch some films with you.”
They stayed outside watching the sun set in the sky. She loved being pressed against his warmth and feeling as if she belonged. Dean was an amazing man, even if he teased her constantly.
“Could you tell me one thing about yourself?” she asked as the last rays of sunlight shone on the garden.
“I’m scared of spiders,” he whispered as he bent down and pressed a kiss to her head.
She closed her eyes at his touch. The act seemed so natural. She was thankful for his ease around her.
“I’d better take you home,” he said and took her hand to lead her to his car.
She didn’t know if he was aware of what he was doing, but she liked it.
* * * *
Dean dropped her at home and declined the offer of dinner. His creative juices were flowing and he needed to get back to his study. The work in progress didn’t have a title yet, but the small snippet he’d sent to his editor had been well received.
He placed a shop bought pasta bake in the oven and moved to his office. The screen was lit and before he’d even sat down his fingers were playing along the keypad.
The nightmare had struck. Another man played for her affections and she didn’t even see it. The beauty within her was masked by her insecurity. Didn’t she know how precious she’d become to his every waking need? Her soft skin and welcoming smile was the best part of his day, but he couldn’t control every part of her daily life. When he drove her home, they were the worst parts of his day. He knew the rest of the night would be spent fighting off the demons of his past -- the pain, and then the guilt, as this young woman invaded his mind.
What would it be like to kiss her? To feel those soft, plump lips open up beneath him? He was being driven insane by a woman he couldn’t have.
Who was the man she’d talked about? Did she want him or was her hatred just an act? He would be driven insane if he didn’t get an answer soon.
Dean sat back and stared at the words on the screen. This story was starting to freak him out. He couldn’t analyse why he wrote this way. Usually he wrote about dominant men getting what they wanted. This man didn’t want anything but one woman.
He ran fingers through his hair and left his computer. Laura was having more of an impact on his life than he’d like. Her scent clung to every surface, a vanilla scent that was soothing to him.
His editor liked the transformation in his writing style, but he wasn’t so sure himself. He was so far out of his comfort zone. He went to the kitchen and grabbed his meal and a cold beer before returning to the computer.
Laura Cox was a young woman who was slowly becoming his reason for living. He couldn’t do this. The woman was twenty years younger than he. These feelings inside him were wrong and being near her didn’t help. That’s why he decided that going into the garden would be a great idea. The change in space would provide him with the realization that she wasn’t his type. Who was he kidding? She was a full figured woman with a funny sense of humour and the most amazing kind, brown eyes. Her eyes reminded him so much of his wife. Carla had seen passed everyone and everything and her innocence had struck him to the core. He had not been his wife's first lover, but her experience should have knocked out any gentleness within her. Not so. Carla had remained pure in everything.
Reading Laura's work, he’d seen the passion hidden within her. He didn’t want to take advantage of her and he doubted she saw anything in him other than that of a teacher. Yet his body responded to her presence. Shit.
“What should I do, Carla?” he asked. Dean knew no response would come. He asked though. No one got anywhere without trying to find the answers.
He’d invited her over for a few movies. Maybe he should phone and cancel. Her mother had said Laura didn’t have many friends and she liked the friendship developing between Laura and he. Her mother thought he was a good role model. Was he? Fuck. He shook his head and took out his frustrations on his laptop.
Chapter Six
Dear Diary,
I’ve nothing to write today except that I’m so happy. Today I start my new job and that will be amazing. Dean asked me to spend some time with him watching movies. I can pretend it’s a date. God, I sound so immature.
Laura didn’t bother to sign her diary. She didn’t see the need. Her thoughts were simple. The more time she spent with Dean, the less she wrote. He’d become the solace she needed from her boring existence.
She got herself ready and walked the short distance to the library. Cape Falls wasn’t an overly large town and the library was located between a car mechanic shop and the supermarket. Very strange place to house the three, but then Cape Falls wasn’t well known for being clever. She entered the building and was immediately drawn into the peace and silence of the library. This place she could deal with.
Laura spent most of the morning going through her training and learning how to operate the system of books and dealing with customers. To keep her busy, the main staff had her refill the shelves with the returned books. The library looked small from the outside, but it had a long, deep length to it.
She walked to the back of the library near the exit doors where most of the reference materials were housed, along with a few desks for students to study. She pushed the trolley to the shelf marked with history and located the correct numbers. Each book had its own set tag and she found the order and replaced each of the history books on the shelf before moving on to the business section. Laura found great pleasure in replacing the new and musty old books. Each title reassured her that people cared about life and education.
She rounded another shelf containing subjects having to do with the human anatomy and saw that Peter sat at one of the tables with his head bent over a book. He looked deep in thought and she ignored him and continued in her task. With each of her movements she made sure she made as little noise as possible. When he suddenly slammed his book closed, she jumped and the three books she’d been reaching up to place on the shelf toppled out of her hand and onto the floor.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said and was instantly by her side picking up the books.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m used to the quiet,” she
told him and took the books from his hands. She placed them on the shelf, gave him a smile and checked the cart. Fiction books were next.
“I’m sorry I disturbed you,” she told him.
“You didn’t disturb me,” he assured her.
Laura frowned and glanced around. Seeing Peter by himself was strange. The guy had people practically attached to his side.
“Why are you in the library?” she asked. She was more than intrigued by his presence in a building full of books and not being near naked girls. She’d heard about his regular trips to a titty bar outside of Cape Falls.
He blushed and started to stutter. Laura smiled and placed a hand on his arm. “Don’t worry about it. Your secret is safe with me.” She pushed her trolley around the tables.
“Why?” She heard him ask.
“Why what?” she inquired.
Peter rose and stood in front of her. “Why will you keep my secret?”
Laura frowned at him. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a tattletale. For whatever reason you need to come to the library, it's not my place to cause trouble.” She made a move to pass him.