by Sam Crescent
“I’ve not danced like that in years,” he told her on a chuckle. His hands were by her waist and his fingertips ran along the indented curve and swell of her waist. Her shirt had ridden up, exposing her stomach. Laura froze as her stomach quivered. His nearness was shocking her. Their laughter and the music stopped. The only sounds were of their indrawn breaths. She couldn’t look away.
Dean stared down at her. She saw one of his hands come up between them and cup her face. His pelvis pressed ever so slightly between her thighs. Laura became aware of their situation. They’d fallen in such a way that her legs had opened and his most private part was pressed against hers. Something hard, thick and long prodded against her mound and the pressure felt a little uncomfortable. She wasn’t used to anything poking in such a delicate area.
The tension mounted. Dean leaned closer.
What to do? No man or boy had ever kissed her. Is that what he was going to do? Shit. What if I’m bad at it? Holy shit. Most women her age already had plenty of experience.
Her heart raced and she thought it would explode out of her chest. He was close and she felt the rush of air as he exhaled on her face. She closed her eyes. Dean kissed her on the cheek and then quickly pulled away from her. As he got up she noticed he turned his body so his crotch wasn’t visible to her. Was he turned on by her?
“I think you should go,” he said. His voice quiet and he wouldn’t look at her.
Laura nodded and grabbed her bag. She walked toward the front door and closed her eyes. You idiot, she thought. She couldn’t leave like this, but facing him seemed much worse. “I’m sorry. I won’t play any more music,” she shouted for him to hear. As she grabbed the door handle and twisted the knob, a hand came out of nowhere over her head and closed the door.
When he turned her around she saw the arousal on his face. He didn’t speak a word as he closed the distance between them.
“Just this once,” he said seconds before his lips took control of hers.
She gasped and dropped her bag. His touch, taste and every little detail consumed her. It was so unexpected. She followed his lead and sighed.
He pulled away and stared down at her lips.
“Open for me,” he growled.
Laura didn’t speak and opened her lips slightly. He ran a thumb over her bottom lip and then bent down to kiss her again. Dean tilted her head back further and plunged in, his tongue invading her mouth and meeting her own. She moaned as he continued kissing her, their lips taking what they wanted from each other. Laura wrapped her hands around his neck. She didn’t have a clue what she was doing, but the passion was driving her forward and just as suddenly as it began, the passion ended when Dean pulled away.
“You’re too young for me,” he told her and reaching round her body, he opened the door.
Laura was more than thankful to get away. Her first kiss and his only comment had been about her age.
* * * *
Dean watched her go. His lips tingled from the touch of her lips. He licked them and was sure he could taste her on his lips, subtle, yet reassuring to him. The kiss hadn’t been something made up in his mind. Shaking his head, he closed the door and went back to his study. His work-in-progress was still in the works.
After reading through the manuscript in bed, he’d seen it needed a lot of work. There were still some holes in the story that needed to be worked out. His editor had been on the phone earlier and told him he had until the end of the month to finish or his other books were going to be pulled. The publishing house had had enough and with the market being the way it was, someone else could easily fill his shoes. Gone were the days of writing at your own pace.
The kiss had been stupid and he should have stopped himself, but he couldn’t. Once he’d started touching and tasting her, she’d become impossible to ignore.
Dean felt like a bastard. He usually drove her home and he’d left her to walk. Fuck. He grabbed his coat and went to his car. He started the machine and drove along the paths to find her.
She’d been innocently dancing and he’d been the one to turn it to something more. He was twenty years older and he had to constantly repeat the age gap to himself whenever he was in her company. Being around her and talking with her made him forget how young she actually was. Even though she responded to his touch, he shouldn’t be feeling anything other than a bastard.
He found her walking along the country lane, her head bent and arms folded. Dean pulled up beside her and pressed the button to wind his window down.
“Get in the car, Laura,” he ordered. No matter what she said, he intended to be the gentleman and take her home.
“I’m happy walking.”
Shit, was she sobbing?
“I’m telling you to get in the car,” he shouted.
Laura turned toward him and he saw the evidence of her heartache. Her eyes were bloodshot and tears ran down her face.
“Stop ordering me around. You’re not my father and no way in hell am I a child to be told what to do,” she shouted back and stomped her foot.
Dean threw the car to a stop and got out. Laura sobbing her heart out was making him ache. He grabbed her and held her against his body.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. Her body shook with her tears.
“Why?” she asked.
“I shouldn’t have shouted at you or sent you out alone or kissed you.”
“Only two of those do I agree with,” she said.
“The kiss and the shouting?” he asked.
“No. The shouting and being sent out alone. I liked the kiss,” she said.
Dean froze. The summer season meant she only wore minimal clothing. Usually baggy shirts and shorts, but with her working at the library she wore the close-fitting clothes.
With her held against his body, the swell of her breasts pressed against his chest and he couldn’t deny the wonderful feeling of her figure snug within his arms.
“Don’t say stuff like that, Laura,” he warned.
“Why not? I can’t keep hiding from it and I won’t lie. I enjoyed you kissing me.”
He closed his eyes and looked away from her. Staring at her didn’t help him fight the attraction.
“You’re too young. You need to find a man your own age,” he said.
No, she doesn’t. You could look after her and care for her and give her everything she ever wanted.
“I don’t want anyone else,” she replied.
“Let's not talk about this.” He placed a finger on her lips when she began to talk. “Not now. We’ll talk another time,” he assured her.
Laura pulled away and nodded her head. Dean followed as she got into his car. The drive back to her house was a slow one and simply seeing her mother answer the door drove home the fact again of just how young she was.
He should be tortured for the lustful things he thought about her. He didn’t want to think about her admission or to think Laura went to bed imagining him. Would she touch her own lips and think about him touching her other places?
“Get a grip,” he shouted at himself. “You’re a fully grown man who has had women and loved them. Laura is too young. Stop seeing her as a woman of your own age.”
The words he shouted at himself didn’t help his mood. The barrier erected between them as tutor and student or as friends had been crossed and Dean didn’t know how to put those barriers back up.
Chapter Ten
Dear Diary,
He left a message with my mum telling me he’d be out of town for a couple of days, something to do with his story and editor. I think he wants to get away from me.
Last night, I shouldn’t have admitted to liking the kiss. I can’t stop thinking about him and his lips and the way they felt on mine, commanding me to give him everything. I’m starting to sound like one of his books. My mum would throw a hissy fit if she knew.
Do you think I was bad at it? Is that why he’s gone away? Worried in case I’d want a repeat performance? I’ve never kissed a man bef
ore or a boy. I'm twenty years old and only just experiencing my first kiss. At this rate I’ll lose my virginity when I’m ninety.
Shit. I’ve got to go and see Peter. I promised to help him.
Laura placed the book on the library shelf and turned back to Peter.
“What did you say?” she asked. She’d been too busy thinking to hear what he said.
“I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight?” Peter repeated.
She paused and placed the book on the shelf before giving him her full attention. The same book lay open on the same page in front of him.
“Are you even reading that?” she asked.
“Can I be honest with you?” Peter asked.
Laura sat down at the table and waited.
“I don’t need help with history,” he said.
“Then why have you spent the last four weeks studying from the same text book and asking questions?”
“This is going to make me sound like a stalker or something. I wanted to spend time with you. I figured you’d only give me a chance if I needed help,” he said.
“Oh,” she replied. Then his words dawned on her. She couldn’t deal with this. Glancing up at the clock she saw it was almost lunch hour.
“I’ve got to go,” she said. She didn’t wait for him to respond. She grabbed her lunch and walked out of the library. Peter being interested in her was equivalent to her worst nightmare.
“Laura, wait,” she heard him calling.
“Please, leave me alone,” she asked. He was running and he stopped her when he moved in front of her.
“You walk pretty fast,” he said.
“That’s because I’m trying to get away from you.” Laura walked around him and then stopped.
“Why did you do this? She asked. "I don’t get it. What changed between high school and college?”
“I was an idiot then and I guess I’m still an idiot," Peter replied. "Look, Laura, I don’t want to pressure you. We could be friends. Not very many of those are around these parts,” he suggested.
Laura glared at him. Peter had been nice to her for the last few weeks and she enjoyed his company when his friends weren’t around.
“All right," she replied. "We’ll be friends, but no funny business. I don’t want a relationship or anything that you get up to with other girls. Friends, nothing else.” She laid her cards on the table. It was an odd way to start a friendship. She’d never been good with making proper long-term friends like the ones people see in the movies. It would be nice having a friend.
Peter agreed and they shook hands, their friendship beginning.
Laura ate her lunch with him in the picnic area, as always. The rest of her day was filled with mundane work. She gave Peter a book to read. If he was going be in the library to keep her company, then the least she could do was give him something to pass the time.
She spent the rest of the day behind the counter watching and observing. Couples came in with their books to return and she loved being part of their banter. It was kind of bizarre to witness the love between two people. She saw some teenagers come in and for a short time she observed them. Most of the people were in their own little world.
Four days had passed since she’d seen Dean. Would their friendship be over because of a kiss? She wouldn’t let it. The kiss had crossed a boundary and she didn’t want to return to only being friends.
With her mind made up she finished her shift and let Peter walk her home. They talked about college and some of the years they spent in high school. She was surprised by how much they had in common. Peter made her laugh about some of her teachers and the projects in which they were forced to partake.
When he left her, she went to her room to change and told her parents she’d seen Dean and he’d said she could go back to his place.
Laura walked the short distance to his house. Reading a few more of his books had given her an idea, although not the best or most original idea. She intended to seduce him. The kiss had to be a starting point.
After the long walk, she took a deep breath and before she could think twice, she knocked on the door. Seconds ticked by in the still night air. She took in breaths and waited. Laura lifted her hand to knock a second time when the door opened. Dean stood in a shirt and jeans like he always was.
“Laura? I didn’t think we’d arranged anything tonight. I’m not up for your company,” he said.
His words hurt. She wouldn’t back down as she saw through the facade. Dean wouldn’t ring or talk to her again. For him he’d crossed a boundary and that meant they were over. She couldn’t leave it like that.
Laura brushed past him and waited until he closed the door. “I’ve got to talk to you,” she said.
“Can’t this wait for another day?”
“No. If I leave here tonight there won’t be another day. I know what you’re trying to do. You’re doing the same as Master did when he thought Lisa had gone beyond all the steps, or at least in a similar way. I know we’ve not had any spanking lessons and now I can’t stop talking and saying things I didn’t practice,” she told him as she played with her fingers, showing her nervousness.
“I understand the reference you make," Dean replied. "Master let Lisa go when he thought she didn’t need him anymore and he thought being in her life would be stepping over a boundary they’d created in their relationship.”
“Yes. That is exactly what I’m trying to say,” she agreed and pointed at him to emphasize her point. “We kissed and to you, you crossed the line or boundary, whichever term you want to use. I don’t think we did. I liked your kiss,” she admitted.
“Laura, I don’t want to discuss this.”
Laura nodded. Her plan of seduction wasn’t working. “Can you at least tell me if you liked it?” She watched as he sighed and nodded his head.
“Yes, I’ll be honest with you. I did like kissing you.”
Would it be bad if she punched the air in victory?
“Could I use your bathroom?” she asked.
Dean frowned. “You know, I’m never going to understand you as a person. One second you’re talking about a kiss and the next you want to use the bathroom. Sure, go ahead. I’ll be waiting right here for us to have this conversation.”
Laura turned and went to the bathroom on the second floor. She went straight to the mirror and looked at her reflection. “You’ve got to do this tonight. If you leave here you won’t get it done,” she talked to her reflection and began removing each item of clothing.
She looked away from her reflection. Looking at her body would ruin her courage. Every woman throughout history took a stand and went after what they wanted. She was no different. The twenty-year age gap meant nothing to her. She loved Dean and wanted to be with him. She wanted to give him her virginity. She placed a hand to her stomach and took great gulps of air. This was the most difficult thing she’d ever done, offering herself to the man she loved.
On the back of the door was a dressing gown. She grabbed it and wrapped herself in it. Opening the door she went to the top of the stairs.
Dean sat on the bottom step and when he heard her he got up and faced her. She moved down the steps and tried to ignore his frown. When she was far enough down to where he wouldn’t be able to stop her, she removed the gown and stood before him as naked as the day she was born.
The tingling in her stomach increasing as she moved down the last few steps to stop right in front of him. “Hello Dean,” she whispered.
* * * *
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
She stood in front of him so beautiful and curvy he could mistake her for someone older than eighteen. For the past three months he’d done nothing other than have wonderful conversations and dinners discussing everything with her.
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly.
Dean rubbed his eyes and wondered if the vision of her would disappear. “You can’t be doing this.”
“Oh. I understand,” she said soft
ly.
Shit. He heard the wobble in her voice and his heart constricted in his chest. He thought he knew what that noise meant and he didn’t like it. He knew Laura had an issue with her body and her overall image.
“Look. Don’t be like that,” he told her. She was turning, ready to go back up the stairs. The dressing gown was once again covering her luscious body.
“Laura, sweetie, please don’t do this. Don’t get upset,” he begged.
“I’m fine,” she responded.
He heard the sob in her voice and he moaned as he grabbed hold of her arm to stop her from walking any further up the stairs. He turned her to face him and he saw the tears running down her face. Fuck. He hated himself for making her cry. He cupped her cheek and his thumb rubbed away a tear.
“You’re not fine. Tell me what’s wrong,” he whispered.
She rubbed her nose, the gesture so young and cute.
“I understand. You can’t stomach the sight of me. I mean, I’m so fucking disgusting. I really need to lose weight and go on a goddamn diet or something.”
He couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. Laura was perfect just the way she was.
“I don’t want to hear you say those words,” he demanded harshly.
“You’d like Rachel," she argued. "She’s skinny and blond and everyone loves her.” He cupped her cheek and rubbed the tears away from her deep brown eyes. God, he loved her eyes. They were so expressive and wide. They absorbed everything like a sponge. He’d never heard her talk about someone called Rachel.