“Yeah, she freaked out,” Ben said.
The pieces were all clicking into place. This girlfriend was a potential witness, although she would be biased in favor of Andrew.
“What exactly happened? What was Drew doing right before your dad swung at him?”
“Drew was throwing the ball at her. Dad told him to stop, but he wouldn’t stop, so Dad got in front of Alyssa and hit the ball over Drew’s head. Dad told Drew to go get the ball and Drew said no. So Dad went toward him swinging the bat and yelling at him.
“Drew ran away from Dad and was going toward the street, so I ran after him and caught him before he got hit by a car. Then he had a meltdown and we had to take him home. Dad told Mom that Drew was very bad and that he didn’t want him ruining our fun anymore.”
“Did Alyssa say anything?”
“No, she was real quiet, but later she thanked him for protecting her from Drew.”
“Does she live around here?” Ryan wanted to speak to her, if possible.
“She lives around the corner where you turn onto our street,” Ben said. “But we can’t tell Mom.”
“Why can’t you tell your mother?” Ryan skirted the area of the park planted with cactus, not wanting Hershey to get pricked.
“Because Dad said Mom will be very sad and she might go crazy, and then she’ll have to go to the crazy hospital.” Ben picked up a stick and waved it at Hershey. “Can he play fetch?”
“Sure, why not?” Ryan reached down to untie the leash. “Let’s stay away from the cactus area, and go over to the grass.”
“Okay,” Ben said happily. “I can’t wait to show Dad my dog. He said Mom would never let us have one.”
“That’s because he doesn’t really know your mom.” After a moment he added, “By the way, you should always tell your mother everything. No secrets. I’m sorry I told you not to tell your mother I want to marry her. I always tell my mother everything.”
He added that last rule to let Ben know it was cool to tell things to his mother.
“She won’t get mad?” Ben asked, looking up at Ryan with a furrowed brow.
“Your mother will never get mad at anything you have to say to her, and she will definitely not go to a crazy hospital. She’s a strong woman and she loves you and Drew best of all.” Ryan ruffled the boy’s hair and unleashed the puppy. “Okay, let’s see you throw that stick for him.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Seeing Ryan walk up the block with Hershey and Ben stirred up all sorts of feelings in Jamie’s heart. The man, boy, and dog looked like they belonged together. Ben’s smile beamed across his face as he talked a mile a minute. The puppy’s tail wagged like mad, and Ryan had all his attention on Ben, pointing things out, giving him tips, and laughing at his silly jokes.
Jamie got Drew out of his car seat, and as soon as Drew saw them, he ran down the driveway, shouting, “Ryan got my dog!”
“Drew, no running.” Jamie caught him, even as her own legs begged to bound over to them. “You have to watch out for cars.”
She held Drew’s hand and waited for the threesome to approach. Ryan tipped his baseball cap and leaned over, giving her a peck on the cheek. “I can give Drew a turn at walking Hershey if it’s okay with you.”
“Can I come along?” Ben asked, clearly not wanting to relinquish his privileged position at Ryan’s side.
“You have homework,” Jamie said. “It’s Drew’s turn.”
She loved how Ryan treated both boys as important in their own right, and how casually he slipped her a kiss, as if they were a longtime couple.
“After you and Drew come back, care to stay for dinner?”
“Yes, ma’am.” His eyes brightened. “I’d love to.”
“I figured it’s the least I can do for you walking Hershey,” she said, lowering her voice. “Thanks for seeing Drew as an equal.”
“Hey, it’s what he deserves. I had a good conversation with Ben,” he whispered in her ear. “See you in a bit.”
“Okay.” She turned to Drew. “You have to hold Ryan’s hand the entire time, and no running.”
“No running.” Drew nodded, grabbing for the leash while the puppy greeted him, jumping up and down.
Jamie chuckled to herself at how eager Drew was to talk when he wanted something. “Come on, Ben. Let’s get you a snack and get your homework started.”
“Okay, Mom,” Ben said. His mood seemed subdued now that he wasn’t with the dog, or did it have something to do with what he and Ryan had talked about?
“You sure talked Ryan’s ear off,” she commented as casually as she could while she poured him a cup of juice and heated up a drumstick from the night before.
“He says I shouldn’t keep secrets from you.” Ben climbed up on the barstool. “He says he wants to marry you. Do you think Dad will let him?”
Whoa there. Jamie’s head boomeranged, and her heart leaped in a delicious sort of way. Ryan told Ben he wanted to marry her? She couldn’t decide whether she was elated or worried. The hopeful part of her went pitter patter, but she knew better than to believe that fantasies would turn into reality—in the long term.
Andrew would have a cow, and he might stop paying. She’d better find a job or work from home, because oh, wow, marrying Ryan would be a dream come true. The man swept her off her feet just by existing.
But at the same time, there was no way she would become dependent on Ryan or allow him to pay for her kids.
With her education degree, maybe she could join a homeschooling co-op and offer her skillset, or tutor students after school. In any case, she’d better think about her future and break the chains from Andrew.
“Did he really say he wanted to marry me?” Jamie clarified. Maybe it was wishful thinking on Ben’s part, and she wasn’t being helpful by letting Ryan get so close to them. Except she couldn’t help it. He was just so appealing, and he made her feel worthy whenever he showered his attention on her and her boys.
“Yep.” Ben picked up the drumstick with both hands. “I know why he didn’t want me to tell you.”
“Why?” Her throat tightened and anxiety crawled in her belly.
“Because Dad will get mad and throw things.”
“It shouldn’t matter what your father would do. He should not get angry and throw things,” Jamie said, even though she knew full well Andrew would object to having another man be a stepfather to his sons—not that he cared about them in any way but as trophy children—at least Ben.
“Do you think Ryan can beat up Dad?” Ben asked, clearly worried about the same thing she was—that Andrew would prevent her and Ryan from being together.
“Ryan’s not going to hit anyone.” Jamie put the juice carton back in the refrigerator. “Has your dad ever hit anyone?”
“He slapped Drew for being stupid.” Ben’s voice shrank as his eyes grew larger. “Ryan says I shouldn’t keep secrets from you. Don’t tell Dad I told you.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t let him hurt you.” Jamie felt tears welling in her eyes at how she hadn’t been able to protect Drew. “Was this when he swung the baseball bat?”
“No, it was another time, when he took us to the zoo. Drew was rolling on the dirt and not co-op-e-ra-ting.” Ben drew out the last word in a tone Andrew often used when threatening her.
“Thanks for telling me. We can’t let anyone hurt Drew, no matter how he doesn’t cooperate.” Jamie swallowed hard. She had bought Andrew’s story about Drew falling and rolling in the dirt as the reason he was so messed up and red in the face.
Time to face the music. Not only did Andrew hate Drew for ruining his image of what a perfect family was supposed to look like, he had actually been violent with him.
If all her research was right, then Andrew had to be stopped before he escalated his violence and caused permanent damage.
“You’re very brave to tell me,” Jamie reassured her son. “I’m going to see someone who can help make sure your dad doesn’t hurt any of you. It means the next
time you go out with him, someone else has to go along. I’ll ask Nana if she can supervise.”
“Does it mean I can still go on a boat with Dad? Nana hates water,” Ben said, his face falling.
“We’ll get someone else to go on those boating trips,” Jamie said, unable to think of anyone other than Ryan, which Andrew would never accept.
As Ben finished his snack, Jamie dug out the card Ryan’s mother had given her. She typed an email to Dr. Sparks, asking for a consultation appointment.
This had spiraled beyond what she could handle herself.
Later that evening, after they’d finished the delicious chicken and potato dish she’d cooked in her cast iron skillet, Jamie watched Ryan show the boys how to load the dishwasher and help with the chores.
Her life was out of control, and she shouldn’t accept so much help from him. But at the same time, how could she resist? He was everything Andrew was not. If only she knew what to do about Andrew and his threats.
Could she make it without his financial support? It would be too easy to depend on Ryan, and she could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he turned out not to be as much of a knight in shining armor as he seemed.
“I’m going to take Ben and Hershey out for a walk.” Ryan kissed her lightly on the lips. “And then I’ll be going. I’ll come back in the morning if you want me to walk Ben to school.”
So, he hadn’t used dinner as a pretext to spend the night. She nodded and kept her heart in check, despite her hormones clamoring for more. He was drawing back and showing her he wasn’t out for sex.
“I still need to talk to my mom about watching the kids Friday night so we can have dinner alone.” She gave him a seductive smile, letting her tongue pass briefly over her lips.
His eyes dilated and his grin widened. “Do you like dancing or a movie? I want to make the night special for you.”
“Dancing is more stimulating, don’t you think?”
“Oh, yes, I agree.” He gave her another kiss, this time deeper and full of promise. “I’ll be back to say goodnight to Drew.”
He and Ben set off, chattering, with Hershey running circles around them. Drew was engrossed with his clattering pot lids and didn’t seem to notice.
Which was just as well, because he’d had a lot of fun walking Hershey earlier, but he needed to unwind for bedtime.
Besides, she didn’t want anyone accusing Ryan of anything inappropriate, so she had to make sure she was the one who supervised everything. No way could she let Andrew take revenge on Ryan and ruin his reputation.
Speaking of Andrew, it was strange he hadn’t checked up on her. Even though they usually didn’t speak much while he went on his business trips, he would oftentimes call and grill her about charges she made on the credit card or any bills he had to pay.
Oh well, maybe they kept him too busy with taxes due soon. She should enjoy this brief respite of freedom and spend the night with Ryan before Andrew returned and barged in on them.
She made a note to change the locks, then hummed as she put Drew on the toilet and warmed his bath water.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Later that night, after the boys were asleep, and the puppy had found a place in Drew’s bed, Jamie slipped her fingers into Ryan’s hand and led him to her bedroom.
“We don’t have to,” he started to protest, but she stopped him with a kiss.
“I want this,” she whispered into his mouth. “If you want it, too.”
His answer was a moan as he cupped her head and caressed his lips against hers, kissing her with the same hunger she felt for him.
She was buying more trouble for when Andrew returned, but she had to seize the moments she could get, and right now, right here, her heart cried out for Ryan’s love.
“I wanted to take it slow.” Ryan was breathless as he brought her down onto her bed. “To show you that you’re worth waiting for. That I’m sincere.”
“I am worth waiting for, but I don’t want to wait. I want everything you’re offering, and I’m tired of living in fear, frightened that all good things will come to an end.”
“I promise you, this isn’t ending.” He swept a strand of hair from her face in a way so caring it strummed every blue chord in her heart. “I’ve grown so attached to you and your sons that I want us to be family. I don’t usually feel this way about anyone. I was always separate, in a shell, different, and no one other than my mother understood me until I met you.”
The way he spoke, so confident and sincere, tugged at her heart. He was man enough to let her know how much he cared about his mother. If Drew could someday speak of her in such endearing terms, she would know beyond a doubt that she had done everything right.
“I want to know all about you and understand all your quirks. It’s all about accommodating and accepting those we love,” she said, wondering what issues he had other than his aversion to being touched after sex. She could deal with that as long as she knew he wasn’t shutting her out emotionally.
“Good, the same goes for you.” He touched her lightly, skimming the tiny hairs on her skin. “You can tell me anything and everything, and I will consider it and never judge you.”
“You don’t know how good that makes me feel.”
In more ways than one. Her heart glowed, and the juices throbbed between her legs. So, Ryan was perfect.
So what?
Didn’t she deserve perfection after all she’d gone through?
Lying back, she pulled him closer and let herself get lost in his kisses and caresses. Everything he did turned her on, and she prepared herself to feast on all the delightful sensations he gave her.
Meanwhile, sex with Andrew had been a competitive sport, with him checking all the time whether she had climaxed or not. He made her feel as if she were a video game and he had to make all the right moves to get a high score.
Ryan reached over and turned on her boom box, as if knowing she was distracted. The music soothed her and the lyrics spoke to the inner sanctum of her soul.
Jamie pushed scorekeeping from her mind and emptied her mind of her worries and problems. They would return soon enough, but not now, when her body hummed with pleasure, and she relished every touch, taste, and feel of this most intimate dance between two bodies.
The song “Sometimes When We Touch” swirled like healing balm as Ryan’s touch told her how real his feelings were. She opened her eyes and was barely able to bear the intensity of the connection between them.
Whatever happened, this man loved her. She couldn’t explain it if she tried, but the way he looked at her, the way he held her, the way he cared and shared his inner self with her drove the last vestiges of fear from her hesitant heart.
She drifted into a dream, and it didn’t matter whether she’d loosened her moorings or not, because for the first time in her life, she was honest with herself.
She loved this man, not because of how he treated her, or how good he was with the boys, or how famous and well liked he was by others.
She loved Ryan because he opened her heart like a book and read between the lines. And she loved him because he was completely open and honest with her.
He was what he was—a man who got Drew and accepted Ben and for whatever inexplicable reason, he’d chosen her and her little family to be his.
No longer analyzing him, she closed her eyes and trusted him fully. Reverently, he undressed her and moved his mouth over her entire body. Passion flared between them, and when they joined, it was perfect rapture.
She held him tight through her climax and beyond his bout of ticklishness. She kissed him hard, locking their lips, joining him in the shower. They let the warm water drench them as they loved each other once again, carried away in the cascading pleasures of knowing, and yet knowing, still loving.
Ryan lay awake with Jamie nestled in his arms. She’d surprised him by asking him to stay. She’d opened herself up to him, not just physically, seeking pleasure, but emotionally, letting him see
into the very core of her fears, and trusting him completely.
He should be congratulating himself. He’d won over the suspicious single mother, the once-burnt-twice-shy divorcee, the insecure woman who feared that her problems and issues were insurmountable, that no one could ever wish to take on her life.
He’d won, and he should be crowing to his mother and letting her know that he’d gotten a real woman to fall in love with him.
He would do her right, wouldn’t he?
It was a tall order, especially for a guy who grew up without understanding human emotions naturally. Oh, he’d watched all the movies, and he’d mastered the acting of love, and he’d been able to charm just about any woman he chose to.
And now, he had his prize. Jamie Rush with her two sons—boys who should have been his boys. Sons who would look up to him when young and look out for him when old.
“I love you, Jamie,” he whispered to her sleeping form, stroking her lovingly. “I love you.”
Was he lying to her and to himself?
Did he honestly know what love was when he couldn’t tell her how different he was?
An alien in the world of humans.
Trapped within his reality.
What could he do, but hold her, despite the nerves crawling all over his skin, despite the rush of noise behind his eardrums, despite the surge of electricity irritating the hairs all over his body, sparking and arcing, demanding him to throw her off him and to run streaking naked down the street, caressed by the cold fingers of the night.
Ryan focused on his breathing, his control, his ability to disappear into a cone, to numb himself until nothing but the strike zone existed.
He visualized his arm as a cannon pumping out baseballs straight down the middle. He became a human pitching machine, and as the numbers on the radar gun climbed to the hundreds, he drifted off.
Mentally, he strapped weights onto his arms and legs, binding him down onto the ground so he wouldn’t float off into space. He grounded himself on the bed and pulled Jamie’s sleeping body over him, like a heavy, weighted blanket, despite the lingering heat.
Playing for the Save (Men of Spring Baseball Book 3) Page 21