3rd World Products, Inc., Book 4

by Ed Howdershelt

  With a raised eyebrow, Steph replied, "You haven't called me wonderful today, Ed."

  I instantly responded, "You're wonderful, Steph."

  Sel and Toni snickered as Steph said, "Thank you. It's so nice to feel appreciated."

  Myra's eyes narrowed further as they came to rest on Steph's hand in mine.

  "Are you two romantically involved?" she asked. "Is that even possible?"

  Before I could speak, Steph said, "It might be possible in some manner, but we're just good friends, Myra. Things are much less complicated that way." Glancing at me, Steph added, "Don't you agree, Ed?"

  It was an odd turn in the conversation and it had taken me somewhat by surprise.

  I returned Steph's look with one of mild startlement as I said, "Yeah. Less complicated that way."

  Myra grinned and said, "You don't seem convinced, Ed."

  I sighed as I switched my gaze to Myra and ignored the sudden attentions of Sel and Toni.

  "Well, Myra, she's never expressed a desire to explore the pleasures of the flesh."

  With a grin at Steph, Myra asked, "What if she did, Ed? You, ah... You think you'd be up to something like that?"

  I dislike sexual innuendoes and inferred gender challenges, mostly because I've learned over the years that you can't really trust people who initiate them. Such people always seem to have some kind of an agenda, even when they're just joking.

  But when I looked at Steph, she seemed as interested in my answer as Myra. There was a profound silence from the other side of the table. Sel and Toni were also waiting for my answer, as well.

  Okay, then.

  I let my irritation show as I said, "It would be a personal matter, Myra." I nodded at Sel and Toni, then at Steph and added, "To be discussed among only four of the people at this table." Sliding my chair back, I stood up and said, "I'm going to the restroom, ladies. Hold the fort and all that."

  As I threaded my way among the tables toward the restrooms, I thought about what had just happened. Had Myra's questions been honest curiosity? Possible.

  On the other hand, although my relationships with Sel and Toni hadn't been stated outright, Myra would undoubtedly have guessed that we were somewhat more than just friends.

  Myra might have been using the turn of conversation to try to create a wedge between me and Selena and Toni; something entirely possible if she intended to try to "comfort" me after a squabble with Sel and Toni.

  I keyed my comm implant and said, "Steph, I'm going to assume that Myra's question was the beginning of a divisive ploy. How are the ladies handling the turn of conversation?"

  "Selena told Myra that if she couldn't manage better conversation, she might be better off to shut up. Toni suggested that they dropped the house on the wrong witch. Would you like to hear what's being said at the moment?"

  "Yes, ma'am. I would."

  Selena's voice suddenly said, "It isn't that far to Tampa, Myra. You could call a friend, if you have any."

  Myra said in a perky tone, "Oh, no, thanks! I'll stay for the time being. Things are just getting interesting."

  Toni said, "You pull something like that again and I'll forget you're so much older than us, you got that?"

  "Oh," said Myra, "I'm just all a-tremble. Are all those muscles just for show, Toni? Are you just a gym rat, or can you actually use them?"

  "I'd love to show you," said Toni. "It wouldn't take long."

  Stephanie said, "There will be no violence," in a flat, iron-laced tone that I'd never heard her use before.

  I took a leak as I listened to the silence that followed her statement, then Myra asked, "If Toni came at me, what would you do about it, Steph?"

  "I would immobilize and separate you from each other until you calmed down."

  Myra's expression must have caused Sel to say, "She can do it, Myra. Believe it."

  As I left the restroom, our waiter eyed me in an examining manner. The gaze didn't seem to be one of sexual interest, although the waiter seemed pretty obviously gay. His eyes flicked nervously to our table and then back to me as he chewed his lip.

  I stopped and asked him, "What's the problem?" as Myra said to Steph, "Okay. Say she can do it. Then what?"

  Chapter Eleven

  As the waiter seemed to gather himself up to say something, Steph said, "After people calmed enough, we'd decide what to do as a group."

  "What if I didn't want to wait?" asked Myra. "What if I'd rather just leave?"

  "Oh, hey, that'll work," said Selena.

  "Yeah," said Toni. "Fine with me."

  Steph said, "Unlikely, however. Leaving would defeat your purpose in having started this altercation."

  The waiter glanced toward the ladies and carefully, cautiously said, "Uh, sir, I think there may be a problem at your table. If... Uh, if that's the case..."

  I looked toward the table as I held up a hand to interrupt him and listened. As the waiter had spoken to me, Myra had asked, "My purpose? And what purpose would that be?"

  "To instill divisiveness," said Steph. "To sow seeds of discord and drive Selena and Toni away from Ed, if only temporarily. I believe that you think that once Ed's alone, you would be able to take advantage of the situation."

  "You think I want Ed for myself?"

  "No," said Steph. "I think you were told to make a firm, useable connection with him as quickly as possible. You appear to think that if you can irritate Selena and Toni enough to drive them away for a time, you'll have or be able to create an opportunity to secure that connection while they're absent."

  Returning my attention to the waiter, I said, "Yeah, sure, guy. No sweat. If there's a war brewing, I'll see if I can get everybody outside before it really gets underway, okay? Why don't I pay the tab while I'm back here by the bar register? Got the ticket on you?"

  Selena said, "Huh. I can guess what kind of connection she's got in mind, too. She's a regular Mata Hari, isn't she?"

  "Yes, sir," said the waiter. "It's behind the register. I'll get it. Thank you."

  I watched the waiter riffle through the tickets as Toni sharply hissed, "Hey, bitch! You touch him and I'll rip your goddamned head off, you understand me?!"

  A chair slid back noisily and someone at a table near ours gasped. When I looked up from the ticket riffling, Toni was angrily striding toward the restaurant's entrance. Selena was glaring at Myra. Steph looked across the room at me.

  "Yup," I said to the waiter, "I think it's definitely time to get back there."

  The waiter hurriedly produced our ticket and seemed surprised when I paid it with cash. I told him to keep the change and started back to our table.

  Selena sat glaring at Myra as I walked past the table and said, "Everybody sit tight for a minute," on my way to the front door.

  I found Toni just outside the entrance, pacing back and forth like a big cat, trembling with rage. She saw me and stopped pacing.

  "Are you gonna keep that bitch with us much longer?!" she asked tightly. "I had to leave before I punched her."

  "If I dump her now they'll just send someone else at us, Toni. Maybe more than one. We'd have to assume that anyone any of us met anywhere at all could be working for the agency or an affiliate."

  "Are you sure they'll do that? Myra got caught. No reason to think we wouldn't spot the next one, too."

  "I'm sure, Toni. They want something and they're trying to find a way to get it through me."

  "You mean Steph, or use of her? This is a free country, Ed. All you have to do is say 'no'. Wouldn't that about cover it?"

  I sat down on the old-style wrought iron park bench by the restaurant entrance and said, "No, it isn't quite that simple, Toni. These aren't the kind of people who play fair and politely take 'no' for an answer. Myra poked and prodded and now she knows which of us is most reactive. Do you have anything to hide, past or present? Anything that you wouldn't necessarily want friends or family to know about?"

  Toni's eyes narrowed questioningly. She stood in front of me, silently starin
g at me for some moments before stiffly saying, "No. My family knows I'm bi. The only way they could make trouble is through the school. I think. Shit. Ed, what the hell have you gotten us into?"

  "Toni," I said, "I haven't exposed you to anything today by bringing her home or bringing her along. These people would have rooted out my friends, family, and acquaintances and studied them as a matter of course, and they'd have done it while waiting for an opportunity to make contact. In other words, it was too late to worry about that well before Myra showed up. I let Myra come with us so that you and Sel could see what we might be up against."

  "We already knew she was a bitch, Ed. This just confirmed it."

  "That's your personal dislike of her, a dislike that she's deliberately cultivated. Forget that for a minute, okay? It's simple manipulation. Myra tried to drive the beginnings of a wedge between us. Divide and conquer, and all that crap."

  Toni's voice rose an octave as she asked, "Why the hell don't they just ask for whatever it is they want? Why play all these goddamned games?"

  I took her hand.

  "Toni, they obviously have reason to believe that I won't want to go along with their program, so they're looking for what they'd euphemistically call 'insurance'. People like them don't like to ask for cooperation, ma'am. They prefer to be able to command it. I need some time to fish Myra for information and maybe plant some info that will run them in circles. Do you think you can stand her for a while longer today?"

  Toni sighed and said, "No, but I think I can fake it if I have to. What now?"

  I gently pulled her down to sit by me and kissed her softly.

  "Well, Toni, Myra's as pale as a ghost, compared to just about anyone else in Florida, so let's just play at the beach for a while, bore her shitless, and maybe send her back to her office with a decent sunburn. How's that?"

  Toni grinned and said, "I'll hide the goddamned sunscreen."

  "Kewl. Let me check in with Steph." I keyed my implant and asked, "Things are better out here, Steph. Any further excitement in there?"

  "No, Ed, but the waiter has politely expressed an interest in seeing us leave."

  "Make him happy, then. The bill's paid and he's been tipped. Take command and lead the troops out of there whenever you're ready, milady. We're just outside the door."

  Steph left the link open as she said, "It's time to go."

  I heard two chairs slide, then Myra's voice said, "He hasn't come back yet. Didn't he say to wait here?"

  "Stay here if you want," said Selena. "We're leaving now."

  "You're leaving because this... computerized ghost... says to?" asked Myra.

  Selena asked sharply, "You got a problem with that?"

  With a snort, Myra said, "Well, yes, actually. Computers take orders, they don't give them."

  Selena hissed, "Well, then, it's a damned good thing you have cab fare."

  There were footsteps and the waiter's tersely offered, "Thank you" without any sort of invitation to return, then the somewhat fainter sound of a chair sliding and other rapid footsteps as Myra caught up with Steph and Sel.

  Myra asked, "What if they aren't through talking?"

  Selena asked, "Why aren't you through talking, Myra?"

  "Since when do computers give orders to people?"

  With a sigh, Selena rather patronizingly said, "Steph made an announcement based on available data. Right, Steph?"

  "Indeed so, Selena. That was an accurate assessment."

  "What available data?" asked Myra.

  "She's fucking telepathic," snapped Selena. "Hadn't you figured that out yet, Ms. Superspy?"

  Toni and I stood up as Steph and Selena appeared, followed by Myra, who wore a slightly alarmed expression that she quickly masked.

  Steph, Sel, and Toni hugged a greeting and stood together to one side of me in a rather unsubtle display of solidarity as Myra watched with a slightly sardonic expression.

  "Where are you going to be on the beach?" asked Myra, then she gestured to the walkway that ran around the building toward the street. "I need to get a swimsuit and a towel. It won't take me more than a few minutes."

  Toni laughed, "If you can't find us on a goddamned beach, you aren't much of a secret agent. Come to think of it..."

  "Go get a suit, Myra," I said, interrupting Toni's razz. "We'll be somewhere near the pier."

  With a small, tight smile at Toni and an examining look at Selena, Myra nodded and headed up the walkway in what can only be described as a march step with a bit of Marilyn roll.

  As I took the cooler from Selena, Toni gave Myra the finger and said, "Stop looking at her ass, Ed."

  "I will if you will, sweetie."

  Toni smacked my arm almost lightly and said, "A goddamned sunburn's too good for her."

  "What?" asked Selena.

  "A sunburn," said Toni. "We decided to hide the sunscreen and fry her pale, skinny ass."

  I glanced at Myra's retreating form. "Skinny?"

  "What-ever, okay?"

  Selena smiled and shrugged and said, "Yeah. Sure. Good enough for now. But a sunburn's not enough."

  As we turned to head for the beach, Toni sighed loudly in exasperation and said, "That's what I just said."

  "Steph," I said, "Let me know who Myra calls while she's away from us, please."

  Steph nodded. "I thought you might want to know that."

  I set the cooler down near the water and the ladies spread their towels before doffing their t-shirts and shorts. I watched the extra, bikini-clad female flesh appear in an appreciative manner, then applauded politely. Sel did a small curtsey.

  Toni bumped her arm and asked in an astonished tone, "Was that a curtsey, Sel? A fucking curtsey? When did you start doing that?"

  "Oh, up yours, Tee. You can't do one, can you?"

  "I wouldn't do one. Geez. A fucking curtsey. I haven't even seen anyone do that who wasn't in a gradeschool play."

  Steph and I watched and listened to their byplay for a few moments, then Steph quietly morphed from her usual business suit into a bikini.

  She was absolutely stunning. I couldn't take my eyes off her thighs until I was able to move them up and down her legs once, then upward toward her face. Steph was grinning at me when my eyes finally rose that high.

  Sel and Toni snickered at me and Sel said, "Look at him. She makes his brain go all numb. Our turn. Suit up, Ed."

  Removing my swimsuit from my folded towel, I said, "Sorry. I'm not getting busted for your pleasure, ma'am, but Steph did help me learn a new field trick. Enjoy the show."

  I keyed my field implant and began coalescing a light-warping cylinder around myself. When it was up to my ribs, I kicked off my sneakers, dropped my pants and stepped out of them, then stepped into my swimsuit.

  Sel and Toni stepped forward to peer at and into the cylinder, tapping on it and gripping the top edge as I pulled my swimsuit up.

  "Well, damn," said Toni. "I guess you did learn a new trick. Is this thing tough enough to use as a shield?"

  "It might deflect a bullet, but I wouldn't trust it to stop one. I'm working on it, though. It's sitting on the ground, so it isn't like lifting things. I can feed all the power I can manage into something like this without ripping out the implant."

  Sel was pushing down on the top edge of the cylinder when I stopped feeding power to the field. She pitched forward and I caught her in an embrace.

  I kissed her and said, "Gotcha. Wow. Nice. You feel good, lady. Smell good, too. Mind if I have a taste later?"

  Selena looked down and said, "Oooo, look what I did to you. I'll consider it, sir. You'll wash the salt off me first?"

  "Promise. The soap, too. I try to be thorough, you know."

  Toni stepped up and said, "My turn. Everybody, though. Group grope."

  Chapter Twelve

  We opened our embrace to include Toni and I kissed her as I had Selena. Steph watched with a smile until Selena motioned her to join us. Her smile turned to a questioning look.

  "Yeah,
you, lady," said Sel. "Come on in here with us."

  Steph stepped forward almost hesitantly, as if wondering how to go about merging into the group. Selena and Toni opened their embrace to include her and drew her inward. Steph looked slightly confused as she gazed at me.

  "Doesn't Steph get a kiss, too?" asked Toni.

  "Yeah," mimicked Sel. "Doesn't Steph get a kiss, too?"

  "If she wants one," I said, looking at Steph. "But she might be more comfortable working her way through hugs first."

  Selena said, "If you were nicer to her, she'd already know how to handle hugs. Kisses, too."

  "Uh, huh. If we were that close, you'd both think that I'd been taking advantage of the fact that I technically own her."

  "Damned right," said a grinning Toni. "You just can't win, Ed. But how come this subject hasn't come up before? Look at her. She's gorgeous. What about it, Steph? You want some kisses, too?"

  I said, "Slow down, ladies. No pressure, okay?" I gazed into Steph's eyes for a moment, then said, "I'm leaving it entirely up to you, ma'am."

  "I think it would change the nature of our friendship, Ed."

  Toni bumped her hip and grinningly said, "That's the whole idea, sweetie."

  Steph looked at her for a moment and said, "But I'm not sure it's necessarily a good idea, Toni. Sensuality and sexuality are human issues. The feel and texture of skin was relatively easy to achieve, but without certain additional physical stimuli that I've never included..."

  Selena interrupted her with, "So sample each of us and create an average of whatever you think you're missing, then use it. Take a chance, Steph."

  Steph looked at each of us in turn and finally said, "Not now, please. I'd like to give the matter more consideration."

  Toni asked, "Does that mean you'll give it a try later?"

  "I may make an attempt later. Now I'll bring Tiger down. Correction. Elkor says that will be unnecessary."

  A "Yahhh!" came from above us and we all looked upward, but there was nothing to be seen until Elkor's transport disk cleared the flitter field and Tiger appeared about ten feet above the ground.

  Elkor released him from his field near the ground and Tiger jumped off the disk into the sand. He immediately tried to walk on it instead of in it without much success, shaking it off his paws with each step.