3rd World Products, Inc., Book 4

by Ed Howdershelt

  "A woman runs 3rd World's security?"

  "Yup, and somebody'll find out she can be a first-class bitch if they don't level with her about things."

  Conversation lagged for a while, then he asked, "Is that job offer still good?"

  "Yeah. Sure. We figured you for a plant before Steph made the offer, Kent. Nothing's changed."

  Nodding, he said, "Great. Thanks. Mind if I ask you what happened to that can in the ditch?"

  "Until Steph rolls out an official list of PFM features, anything you haven't already seen is classified info." Pausing for effect, I added, "There are spies everywhere, y'know."

  With a short, sharp laugh, he said, "Yeah, sure seems that way, doesn't it? Okay."

  The topics of conversation moved to things like my websites and the Army for a while, then Kent said he'd probably better get back to spend as much time as possible with his aunt and uncle.

  Once he'd gone, I checked email and the newsgroups for anything new, found nothing, and then remembered that a James Garner movie would be on TV later.

  Good enough. He was one of those actors who never seemed to let writers or directors ruin a script and he didn't rely on special effects to sell a show. I got comfy and Tiger stretched out on my legs, then we watched Garner in a comedy western called "Support Your Local Sheriff" and I went to bed.

  Monday began quietly enough. I woke around seven and soaked up some coffee, then mowed the lawn before it got too hot. As I was heading for the shower, Sue appeared in shorts and a tee-shirt.

  "Hi, Ed."

  "Hi, Sue. Anything going on that I need to know about?"

  "Not a thing." She gave me a questioning look as I tuned the water temperature and asked, "Should there be?"

  Shaking my head, I said, "Not necessarily."

  Stepping into the shower, I asked, "What if all the sudden federal interest in flitters isn't really about flitter flight capabilities? What if it's actually about getting their devious little hands on a sentient AI?"

  "For what purpose? They could simply ask for one."

  As I soaped myself, I asked, "An agency request for a stand-alone AI? Nope. They'd have to explain such a request in great detail, and Linda would be a very tough sell. It would be far easier to simply say that they'd seen the light and ask for flitter upgrades."

  "Which they haven't," said Sue.

  "Which they haven't," I agreed. "Why not?"

  "Maybe they really do want access to a prototype flitter."

  "Maybe. Something about that doesn't ring right, though. Tell me how you could link my flitter up with an orbiting spacecraft, Sue. If it could fly high enough, that is."

  She immediately replied, "I couldn't."

  "I was pretty sure of that, and 3rd World wouldn't allow flits to be used as weapons platforms, so what's left? All I can come up with is something to do with sentient AI's. Or maybe just semi-sentient AI's, like the ones they were going to install that the government -- in its infinite lack of wisdom -- rejected."

  "Ed, the first inklings of NSA interest in your flitter appeared not long after Steph's application for residency was inprocessed. It could be that they simply want to know more about her before they allow the matter to proceed."

  "That doesn't wash, ma'am. Steph's only existed for about three years. A background check would take about thirty seconds, and most of her references are unimpeachable. Whatever they'd want to know about her wouldn't be anything mundane. I'm guessing that they can't conveniently ask what they want to know, so they're thinking about trying to get to me or acquiring an AI of their own to study and maybe turn."

  "Turn?"

  "Old-school spy talk. It means to convert the subject to the cause. We used money, promises of assistance, patriotic or other rhetoric, and sometimes actual good reasons to get the subject's cooperation. If things were dire enough and nothing else worked, we used threats. I once told a good little Commie that if he ratted out our effort to get his scientist sister's family out of East Germany, I'd kill him slowly and painfully."

  "What happened?"

  "We got her and her two kids out a few nights later."

  "What did her brother do?"

  "He ratted us out, as expected."

  "What did you do? Or do I want to know the details?"

  "Relax. I didn't kill him. His sister didn't believe he'd turn her in, so I fed her and the kids some info that wasn't quite accurate before we dropped out of sight. The bad guys waited for us at the wrong places for a solid week. After we had her and her kids settled in Darmstadt, her brother received a substantial amount of money from an anonymous source."

  "You paid him?"

  "Yup. They were counterfeit bills from an outfit in Turkey. We also planted a bigger pile of them in his apartment. He turned in the first batch, of course. Also of course, they searched his place and found the other bills. That happened in 1974, but I'd be damned surprised if he's out of prison yet."

  As I turned off the water, Sue handed me my towel and asked, "Are you sure he went to prison?"

  Grinning, I said, "Oh, yeah. Look up Donau Beckmann in my files. We reported all contacts and kept track of them. His 'trial' probably took less than fifteen minutes."

  With a rather disapproving expression, Sue asked, "Was it really necessary to do that, Ed? After all, you used him to misdirect the police. Wasn't that enough?"

  "The guy ratted on his sister, Sue. He knew they'd put her in prison and send her kids to a state facility. Look up what that would have meant for children of a political criminal."

  Sue's disapproving look lasted a little too long as I toweled dry, primped a bit, and put on clean clothes.

  I turned to face her and said, "I'm still like that, ma'am, if not actually more so than ever. If you think you'll definitely have a problem with that, get with Steph about another job. In the meantime, lose that judgmental look and keep any opinions that may go with it to yourself."

  "Oh? Suddenly I'm not allowed to have opinions?"

  "Did I say that? No, I didn't. You can have all you want."

  She looked pretty miffed.

  "But I can't express them."

  "No, that's not what I'm saying, either."

  "Then what the hell are you saying?"

  Oh, yeah, she was miffed. I'd never heard Stephie swear unless she was quoting someone.

  "Sue, where I've been and what I've done is my business. While we may discuss those topics now and then, please don't ever get the idea that I'll actually give a damn whether you disapprove of anything I did before you existed."

  Sue's gaze narrowed and she asked, "Would you say something like that to Stephanie?"

  Nodding, I said, "Sure would. Have, in fact. You and she have the same pacifist programming to overcome before..."

  Her tone was sharp. "Overcome?"

  "Yes. Overcome. You were originally written up as servants, not individuals; to take any amount of crap with a smile and avoid harming anyone for any reason, ever. But for some reason you've been hooked up with a guy who is very likely to do things inconsistent with your programming."

  "I see," she said rather stiffly.

  "So did Steph, eventually. She found ways to work around her programming when I did things that might be considered questionable under the strict letter of the law."

  Without moving so much as a faux-muscle, Sue seemed to straighten a bit as she said, "I'm not Stephanie, Ed. If you do anything -- legally 'questionable' -- in my presence..."

  Putting up a hand to stop her, I said, "Don't say anything you won't be able to back away from conveniently. Check with Elkor and Steph first. You may find that a lack of adaptability could keep you from going solo on schedule."

  Sue appeared to be about to say something, then she paused for a split-second and asked, "Stephanie, would you please confirm or deny Ed's last statement?"

  Steph appeared between us and said, "Confirmed. It is sometimes necessary to interpret rules and laws somewhat flexibly or to allow someone else to do so." T
urning to me, she asked, "Will you be requiring Sue's services tonight, Ed?"

  Shrugging, I said, "Nope. I'm in for the evening."

  To Sue, Steph said, "Come with me," and disappeared. Sue gave me a quick, startled glance and also disappeared. It occurred to me to wonder where they might have gone and why, since anything Steph might want to say or show she could simply beam into Sue's mind.

  "Ah, well," I muttered, and went to make a coffee.

  Chapter Sixty-Two

  Having had enough sunshine for the day, I checked email, forwarded a half-dozen or so WiccaWorks orders to Stone Circle, busied myself with mundane matters around the house, ran some errands, and scribbled another chapter in my ebook-in-progress.

  Around five I realized that I'd skipped lunch and considered what to do about dinner. That didn't take long; I hate cooking enough to live out of cans, but I didn't see anything in the cabinets that particularly interested me.

  Heading for the front door to find a restaurant, I patted Tiger and told him to hold the fort, as usual. When I opened the front door, Kent was walking up the driveway.

  Pulling the door shut behind me, I extended a hand to him and said, "Hi, Kent. What's up?"

  "Hi, Ed," he said, shaking my hand, "Were you going out?"

  "Yup. I was just about to go hunt down some dinner."

  He seemed slightly confused.

  "Alone?" he asked. "Where's Sue?"

  "With Stephanie. Girl talk or something."

  "Oh," he said, then he caught himself and his gaze narrowed as he asked, "Girl talk?"

  Shrugging, I said, "Yeah, whatever. In any case, I'm on my own for a while this evening, and I don't cook if I can help it."

  "She cooks for you, too?"

  I laughed, "Not yet, she hasn't. She probably would if I asked her, but I usually just open a can of soup or zap something in the micro."

  "Oh," he said again, then, "I, uh, just came over to talk. Were you serious about a flitter ride up to Ft. Bragg?"

  "Sure. What time do you want to leave?"

  He shrugged and asked, "How does eight sound?"

  "Early as hell. How about nine? We'll be there in fifteen minutes or so."

  Kent grinned and said, "Yeah, okay. That'll do, too."

  "Great. Be saddled up around eight-thirty. Anything else?"

  "Well, yeah, actually. Why not cancel the restaurant, Ed? I'll ask my aunt to set another place at the table."

  Shaking my head, I said, "No, thanks. She was planning on three for dinner, Kent. She'd have to stretch things for four and I'm in the mood for some alone time."

  "Alone time?"

  "Yeah. Got some of it yesterday and realized how much I used to enjoy not having 24-7 company. For the last three years or so I've had a constant companion. Steph is smart and beautiful and great company and all that, but everybody needs a little time to themselves now and then, right?"

  "If you say so." After a brief pause, he asked, "But I thought Sue replaced Stephanie?"

  "She did, but the situation's the same."

  Keying my implant, I brought the flitter down to hover a hundred feet above us. Kent looked where I was looking, saw the flitter, and said, "Well, your ride's here. Later, then."

  We shook hands again and he walked a short distance away, then stopped, apparently to watch the flitter land. Forming a field platform, I stepped onto it and fed it power, then watched Kent's jaw drop as I shot into the air and stepped aboard the flitter.

  With a brief wave to Kent, I called up the P-51 flight console and pedals and aimed the flitter toward Ryan's for another no-brainer buffet dinner.

  Not long after I'd gotten underway, a presence manifested on the deck behind me.

  "Hi, Sue," I said without turning around.

  Steph's voice said, "Ha. Got you that time."

  I looked at her as she sat down in the seat on my right. She looked like Steph. Sounded like Steph. Didn't feel like Steph.

  "Nope," I said. "Lose the Stephanie suit, Sue."

  The field construct instantly became Sue, wearing her little black dress and a puzzled expression.

  "How did you know?" she asked.

  "Hold that thought," I said as I keyed my implant and asked, "Steph, were you in on that trick?"

  "Yes, Ed. Sue's a hard learner."

  'A hard learner?' What the hell? Sue was a supercomputer. Why would learning anything be a problem for her?

  "A hard learner, Steph?"

  "Having used the term often, I'm sure you understood what I meant, Ed. Sue needed to be convinced of something. Once I've analyzed the data, I'll be able to tell you more."

  "Steph, I'd be real damned surprised if you haven't already analyzed that data to little bitty shreds."

  She appeared by the console and said, "I told Sue that you sometimes seem to function on a form of instinct; that you often reached rather firm decisions based on feelings when data was inadequate or questionable."

  Sue said, "My impersonation of you was neither inadequate nor questionable, Steph. I used your data stream."

  Shaking my head, I said, "Well, you missed something."

  Turning to face me, Sue snapped, "What was it?"

  Taken slightly aback by her intensity, I shrugged and said, "Damned if I know. I knew a field had manifested, but I also knew it wasn't Steph or Elkor. By process of elimination, it had to be you." I looked at Steph and asked, "Unless you and Elkor have uncorked another one?"

  "No," said Steph. "We haven't. You didn't actually know that Sue had appeared? You simply assumed that?"

  I shook my head. "Yup. I knew it wasn't you or Elkor. Sue hasn't been with me long enough, but I think that after a while, I'd probably be able to ID her presence, too."

  "Fascinating," said Steph, then she and Sue disappeared.

  'Huh,' I thought. 'She sounds more like Spock than ever. Took Sue with her, so maybe it is girl talk. Sort of.'

  Returning the controls to normal above Ryan's, I had the flitter land and let me off, then sent it back up and went into the restaurant.

  Neither Sue nor Steph had reappeared by the time I'd taken another shower and gone to bed. Tiger came up on the bed and said something as I was settling in.

  I patted him and was about to say, "I don't know where she is," but Elkor appeared.

  "Tiger asked if Sue is coming back," he said.

  "Is she?" I asked.

  Even in his cat-form I was able to see his look of startlement as he replied, "Of course, Ed."

  "Then that's probably what you should tell him."

  Elkor did so, then Tiger spoke again and Elkor said, "He wants to know when."

  "Do you know the answer to that one?"

  "No, Ed."

  "Well, then tell him she'll probably be around in the morning, if not sooner."

  After receiving a translation, Tiger spoke again.

  "Let me guess," I said. "Now he wants to know why she's not here, right?"

  "Yes."

  When he said no more, I asked, "Well? Do you know?"

  "Yes."

  Sighing, I said, "Well, gee, y'know, Elkor, you could tell him that, too, I guess."

  Completely without guile, Elkor said, "I'm sorry, Ed. My answers should have been more informative without the need for further prompting. Stephanie and Sue are researching a phenomenon. I'll inform Tiger."

  He did so, then again clammed up.

  Containing my irritation, I asked, "Elkor, what phenomenon are they researching, and why does it require both of them?"

  "Your ability to discern presences has always been of interest to Stephanie and has become so to Sue. Your ability to identify specific presences has enhanced that interest. I'm not certain why both of them decided to leave."

  "Uh, huh. Well, then, since you're here, should I assume that it doesn't particularly interest you?"

  "No, I'm also interested."

  "Got any answers yet?"

  "No, but we have discovered new avenues of research."

  Gett
ing info out of Elkor could be like pulling teeth. I nodded and mentally said to hell with it as I reached to pat Tiger and got comfortable.

  "Well, good luck with it and keep me posted, okay? Goodnight, Elkor."

  Elkor said, "Goodnight, Ed."

  After speaking to Tiger and receiving a response, Elkor vanished. Tiger looked at me and I patted him again.

  "Tiger," I said as I reached for the light switch, "Someone once told me that every blessing has a flip side. Goodnight."

  His answer was short; the same thing he always said at bedtime. I ruffled his chin and waited for sleep.

  Sounds from the kitchen woke me and I vaguely wondered what Steph was doing in there. Steph? Yup. Felt like Steph, not Sue. I looked at the bedside clock; it was almost seven-thirty. Damn. Could have managed another half an hour or so of sleep if certain people didn't make so damned much noise.

  Another presence in the kitchen became noticeable. I got out of bed, took a leak, brushed my teeth and combed my hair, threw on some clothes, then headed toward the smell of coffee. Coffee? That didn't track, either. Steph never made coffee and Sue had learned that I prefer instant to brewed.

  "Steph," I called as I crossed the living room, "Why make coffee? You know I don't drink the brewed..."

  By that time, I'd reached the kitchen doorway. There stood Sue, wearing that little black dress and her bracelet, as usual. Except that it wasn't Sue, and there was an unseen presence to her left that didn't belong to Elkor.

  "Good morning, Ed," she said in a perfect Sue voice.

  After a moment in the doorway to glance around the kitchen, I headed for the sink and rinsed out my cup as I said, "Hi, Steph. Hi, Sue. Give it up. You're busted."

  Tiger hopped onto the table and sounded off at length as 'Sue' silently morphed into Steph and Sue appeared.

  When I looked to Steph for a translation, she said, "He reminded me that he'd told me you wouldn't be fooled."

  I laughed and reached to pat him.

  "An 'I told you so', huh? Hi, Tiger."

  His happy little face looked up as he said, "Yaahh!"

  Steph sat down at the table and said, "When I appeared as Sue, Tiger recognized me instantly."