Jax studied the lieutenant, his face impassive. “Perhaps you’d like to take a shower…rest a little.”
Misha cocked a brow. “How considerate of you,” he said dryly as he pushed back from the table.
Sage knew he wasn’t the least bit fooled, but Misha left the room without speaking another word, following Kelly down the hall.
Jax walked over and pushed the keypad, waiting until the door slid shut and the soundproofing activated before he said, “I do not trust him.”
Snorting, Sage headed for the clear-paneled cold unit and pulled it open, grabbing a bottle of beer from the shelf. The door swung shut behind him as Sage popped it open and took a long swig. “Now why doesn’t that surprise me, oh fearless leader?” he drawled sardonically. Glancing at Caris, Sage asked quietly, “What’s your take on the matter, sugar?”
Jax’s eyes narrowed a little and Sage bit back a smile as he waited for her answer. But he already knew. Sage knew Caris better than anybody else in the room, including her husband. She believed Misha, even though she was pissed off at him.
Caris sat at the table, one leg drawn to her chest. She stared out the huge panels of plastin that made up the back wall, but Sage suspected she wasn’t seeing the landscape. “I believe him,” she said quietly. Glancing at Sage, she smiled a little. “Although I imagine you already knew that.”
Jax said icily, “It is a heartbreaking tale he wove, but I know better than to let emotion color my judgment.”
With a smile, Caris said, “It isn’t my emotion that I’m basing my opinions on, love. It is his. The kind of pain inside him—it can’t be faked.”
Anni sat on the counter by the prep unit with her legs crossed. She still held her coffee cup and occasionally took a sip. Throughout the entire thing, she had remained silent. Now she looked at Jax and said, “He never once hurt me, Jax. Did everything possible to keep me from being hurt.”
Jax crossed the room and reached out, taking her arm. Above the gloves, he could see bruises ringing her forearms. Stretching it out, he held her arm out for display. “Everything.”
Anni didn’t bother trying to pull her arm away. “Everything he could without blowing his cover. If he had done too much, they would have become suspicious. And I don’t want to think of what they’d do to a man they considered a traitor.” As he let go of her arm, she put her hand in her lap, closing it into a tight fist. “Several times, men crowded into the cell with one thing in mind. And each time, he stopped them.”
Jax muttered under his breath, something in a lyrical, fluid language that none of them understood. He turned on his heel and glared at Miguel and Sage. “Do not tell me that you two have lost your minds, and your sense, as well.”
At that moment, the door panel slid open. The second Kelly stepped inside, it closed with a quiet little snick. She looked at Jax, her hands tucked into the back pockets of her jeans. Finally, she just shook her head, a smirk on her lips. Sage hid a grin as he took another swig of his beer. Then he looked back at Jax. “I’d just as soon beat the bastard into a pulp, Jax, but…I can’t deny what I see when I look at him.”
“And what is that?” Jax demanded with a growl.
For a long time, Sage was silent, staring at the amber bottle in his hand as though it held the answers to the universe. “I see a man with honor, Jax. I don’t like his methods, but then again, there’s been a lot of times when I haven’t liked yours, either.”
Jax turned to look at Miguel, waiting.
Miguel had that familiar little smile on his face, the one that fooled many people into thinking he was too easy, too lazy, too amused with life in general to be a threat. He lifted one shoulder in a shrug and said, “I didn’t even have to hear his story, Jax.”
“So what was it that made up your mind, Miguel?” Jax asked silkily.
Miguel glanced at Kelly. She stood with her back to them, staring out the plastin panels, her hands still tucked into her back pockets.
That one glance was answer enough. Miguel trusted Kelly and Kelly trusted Misha.
“Just as easy as that?” Jax murmured to no one in particular. “He can take one of our people and you all forgive him.”
Caris said softly, “Nobody has forgiven him, baby. But…look, you’ve only been here a few years. You don’t know as much about the underground as we do. They…they don’t use the normal methods when it comes to getting your attention. Hell, they don’t use normal methods for anything. But what they do…works.”
“You’re completely certain he is from the underground?”
Smiling a little, Caris said, “Completely.”
“Wouldn’t you sense it if he was lying, Jax?” Sage asked before he emptied the beer bottle and tossed it into the recycling unit. “You’ve always been able to before.”
Kelly glanced over her shoulder and said, “He wants Misha to be lying. It’s clouding his judgment.”
And to that, Jax really had no response.
* * * * *
In the end, the only decision that could be made was to leave it to Morgan. Jax knew what he wanted, but he couldn’t forget the grief he’d seen in the lieutenant’s eyes. Nor could he forget the look he’d seen in Caris’ eyes, one he’d seen far too often of late.
“Bloody nuisance, this world is,” he muttered. It was hours later and Caris and Sage were seated at the comm console, sending coded relays to Morgan’s compound in New England.
The annoying thing, though, was part of him understood why he still found these people so damned frustrating. Jax had spent decades subduing the inherent dominant traits most of his kind were born with. They were born to rule, to lead. And even though he was placed in charge of these people, they weren’t thralls who would blindly do anything and everything they were told.
Nor were they soldiers who had been reared in strict regimentation their entire lives. These people had rebelled against any sort of authoritarian rule their whole lives. It was the dictatorship from the World Federated Government that had driven many people underground—gifted and ungifted.
Earth-born humans, Jax had come to realize, were deeply independent. Made his job a serious pain in the ass.
The larger part of him demanded he continue as he had been. A leader led. They didn’t discuss their decisions in a committee.
But he was tired of facing such constant antagonism. Tired of looking at Caris and seeing that damn censure in her eyes.
“He wants to speak with Misha.”
At the soft sound of Caris’ voice, Jax turned away from the window and looked at her. Sage leaned back in his hair, scrubbing at his eyes wearily.
Jax’s wife sat with one knee drawn to her chest, her face unreadable.
“When?”
“Sometime today. He’s sending Ari,” Caris replied wearily. “We should really get back to Montana. There’s not room for all of us in this small cabin.”
Jax’s lids barely flickered. “I take it that our presence wasn’t requested.”
Caris laughed. “No. It’s Morgan they’ll need to convince. In the long run, he will make the ultimate decision. And he’ll do it without us.”
A flicker of unease worked through Jax, but as he thought about it—the more he thought about it—the better. He was still a stranger in this world and there would be things coming into play that he wasn’t equipped to deal with. Caris didn’t have the mindset of a leader, so he couldn’t rely on her instincts when it came to decision making.
Seven suns, this was a perfect example. His instinct—kill the man. Misha was an outsider, an unknown, and therefore, Jax couldn’t risk his people by trusting him. At least he didn’t want to take that risk.
But he was in the minority here. None of the others were willing to sacrifice this opportunity.
He smirked a little. Not even Sage. He’d been certain he’d have an ally in Sage. If it had been Caris… Feeling somebody watching him, he looked up and met Sage’s level stare.
“You don’t understand any of it, d
o you?”
Cocking a dark red brow, Jax shook his head. “No. I do not.”
“If this plays out, you will. But I can tell you this—if Misha had laid so much as one hand on Anni, left so much as a single mark, he’d be dead.”
Chapter Nine
Anni awoke to silence.
The door panel was wide open, so it wasn’t the soundproofing that made everything seem so quiet.
Then, distantly, she could hear Sage. The low, rhythmic cadence of his heart, the steady rate of his breathing. Nothing else.
Nobody else.
Slowly, she stretched, arching her arms high overhead, groaning at the faint twinge of still-bruised muscles. But at least that blasted exhaustion wasn’t weighing so heavy on her mind.
Healing could leave a person exhausted. Anni wasn’t sure how Kelly could do it. If it left Anni this tired, didn’t it have a worse effect on Kelly? She climbed from the bed and debated heading into the shower, but she wanted coffee more. And food.
Her belly rumbled demandingly and she climbed from the warmth of Sage’s bed, heading for the kitchen.
Sage came in as she was punching buttons on the prep unit. “Where is everybody?” she asked, waiting impatiently for the coffee.
It had barely finished pouring into the cup before she grabbed it, sipping at it with mindless greed. Hot—too hot—burning her tongue, but she didn’t care. Just that first sip had some of the clouds clearing from her mind.
“Ari came for Misha. Miguel went with them for damage control, so to speak, in case Misha causes problems. Kelly went back to Montana with Jax and Caris.”
“Did Misha cause problems?” she asked, arching her brow.
Sage shrugged. “Depends on who you are. I bet it’s causing Jax all sorts of problems. Word has it that Morgan’s agreed to meet with Luc. Bet that pissed our high-and-mighty commander off pretty bad.”
She smiled a little and then her smile faded as she stared into her cup.
“We need to be getting back.”
Sage shook his head. “No. You’re off-duty for another week. Kelly’s orders. And she made Jax promise she could take a look at you before he even considered letting you back out in the field.”
Rolling her eyes, Anni said, “I’m not an invalid.”
“No, but you had the crap beaten out of you. The stress alone is enough to justify taking it easy for a few days.”
There was a gentle bell tone as the prep unit finished up her breakfast and Sage took the plate, grabbing a slice of bacon before turning it over to her. He ordered up his own meal as Anni carried her plate over to the table.
“I don’t need a week,” she grumbled.
He was silent and Anni spent the next few minutes eating and sulking. Inactivity would drive her insane right now. He joined her with his own plate of pancakes and bacon, the scent of synthetic maple syrup rich and sweet.
A week, she thought darkly, shaking her head slightly.
If she didn’t keep busy, she was going to think— Clenching her eyes closed, she blocked out the thoughts before any of them could fully form. Nope, not gonna think, she told herself resolutely.
She heard a clatter and opened her eyes to see Sage sitting back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. He stared at her with dark, angry eyes as he demanded, “Is a week with me really that bad?”
Rolling her eyes, Anni said, “Of course not.”
But he didn’t seem to hear her as he shoved back from the table and started to pace the room. The jeans he wore clung to his thighs and hips and Anni felt something hot and hungry stir in her belly as she watched him stride angrily back and forth.
“I want him dead, Anni. You need to understand that, but there’s too damn much at stake right now. Our safety, our survival, everything.”
His words didn’t make much sense and Anni forced herself to play them back in her head, tearing her eyes away from the sight of his firm, tight ass. Even then, they didn’t make sense. “Sage, what are you talking about?”
He spun around, glaring at her. “I can’t kill him, Anni. As much as I want to, we need this.”
Okay, maybe she was still a little too tired. “Sage…I don’t know what in the hell you’re talking about.”
She watched as he spun away and drove a hand through his hair. Wide shoulders slumped as he leaned forward, pressing his brow to the wide plastin window panels. “I let you down, Anni. Don’t think I don’t realize it.”
Finally, everything he was saying began to make a weird sort of sense. Misha. He was talking about Misha. Pushing away from the chair, Anni walked up behind him, but before she could reach out to him, he turned.
There was a look in his eyes that Anni didn’t think she’d ever seen before. Vulnerability. She understood that. She felt it all too often around him. But she hadn’t ever expected to see it in him. Not about her.
Hell, not about anybody.
Not from Sage. He was so focused on the war, nothing else really seemed to matter.
The proof of how wrong she was stood right before her. He was beating himself up inside because he couldn’t let himself take revenge on Misha. Damn it, Anni didn’t really want revenge, not now. She’d heard the pain in his voice, even though he’d tried to hide it, as the lieutenant shared had his story with them. No, she didn’t really approve of his methods, but the underground resistance movement operated on a much larger scale than anything the Firewalkers had dealt with.
War led to sacrifices. She knew that.
Anni stepped up against Sage, pressing her body against his as she slid her hands up his chest, linking them behind his neck. “You didn’t let me down, Sage,” she murmured quietly. Laying her head against his chest, she listened to the powerful, steady beat of his heart.
His hands came up, gripping her head. Through the thin layer of synthetic cotton, she could feel the heat and strength of his body and it made her shiver. Sage made her warm. She hadn’t realized just how cold she was until she’d felt this heat.
“I did. I let you get taken. I couldn’t stop it. And then when the bastard who did it showed up, I couldn’t even kill him for you.”
Lifting her head, Anni stared into his hazel eyes. Rising on her toes, she pressed her lips to his mouth gently. “I don’t need you to kill anybody for me, Sage. If I wanted him dead, I’d do it.” When he started to speak, she reached up and covered his lips with her fingers. “I’m a soldier, Sage. Just like you. And I want this war over every bit as much as you do. We can get stronger, if the underground is really ready, and we can’t risk pushing this aside. I understand that.”
Then she grinned, tipping her head back as she stared at him. “But I really do like knowing you’re all torn up inside just because you can’t kill him.”
His eyes flashed at her and the hands at her hips tightened to the point of pain. “Torn up? You think that even touches it?” he muttered. Then he pushed her away and stalked around her. “If you’re not angry over that, then why…”
His voice trailed away and he was silent.
“Why what?”
He was silent for a long time. Finally, he slid one hand up, cupping the back of her head as he drew her closer. But instead of kissing her, he simply laid his lips along her cheek as he murmured, “Nothing’s changed, has it?”
Anni could feel his heart slamming against hers, scented the change in his body chemistry in the air surrounding them. He was upset—that much she had figured out. But why?
Before she could ask though, he gently eased her back and walked around her. As she stood there and watched Sage walk away, she scowled, wrapping her arms around herself.
Nothing’s changed.
Nothing’s changed.
Yeah, she had acted that way, but how in hell else was she supposed to act? It wasn’t like he really had those kind of feelings…
But even as the thought occurred to her, Anni felt her heart start to pound heavily in her chest, her skin heating, tightening. Dragging her tongue across
her lips, she finally let herself wonder.
Exactly what does he feel about me?
Anni knew what she wanted him to feel. She knew how she felt. And the way he had looked…
Arm thrown over his eyes, Sage lay in his bed. The whole damn room smelled like her. His skin felt hot, tight, and his stomach was a damn mess of acid, the few bites of food that he had eaten sitting in the pit of his belly like a stone.
No, nothing had changed, and it was his own damn fault for letting himself think it might.
In the world they lived in, sex didn’t always come with a hidden meaning. If he had thought maybe there was something else between him and Anni, chances were his own damn obsession with her was to blame.
There was a whisper of air as the door panel to his room slid open and Sage suppressed a groan. “Lemme the hell alone for a while, Anni,” he said shortly. Flopping onto his belly, he buried his face into the mattress.
She didn’t leave though. Even before she reached out to touch him, his body tensed. As she trailed her fingers up his spine, Sage fisted his hands and prayed for strength.
He couldn’t do this. Heaven and hell, he wanted her, but there was no way he could sleep with her, no way he could hold that sleek, naked body against his, ever again. As soon as he could work out the logistics, he was transferring out east. Seeing her, holding her, touching her and never really having her would be more hell than Sage was prepared to deal with.
“Nothing’s changed,” she whispered as she lay down alongside him. Sage thought he just might combust as he realized she was naked. Her breasts pressed against his arm and as she shifted, bringing one knee up to hook over his thighs, he could have sworn he felt her heat.
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