“I’ll get some ice for your face.” She smiled softly. I couldn’t tell if she enjoyed seeing me this way or she felt bad. Then she flipped her hair and muttered, “I can’t wait to tell Dad what Denny did. He told us he was the only one permitted to hurt you.”
She put her hand to my bruised cheek and cocked her head. I winced as her fingers brushed over my hot, raised skin. I retreated from her touch. Her hands were laced with poison. She was much worse than Denis was. An evil layered with crazy, beneath a sweet face.
I grabbed an armful of clothes without really paying any attention and ran to the bathroom to get away from her. I heard her say, “ice,” and the bedroom door opened and closed. I turned on the shower and quickly washed, eager to fall into bed. I was so tired even Judith’s teeth grinding wouldn’t keep me awake tonight.
I wrapped a towel around my aching body and sighed at the clothes in my hands. I’d grabbed two pairs of pants and a bra. I tried to open the door and it hit something. When I pushed harder, the door clanged against metal.
I pressed my face to the small gap. “Judith, did you put something in front of the door?” My eyes took in the small slice of view afforded by the crack. I looked up and then I looked down, my heart jumping into my mouth. I leapt back from the door in fright.
A slither of Grant’s dark face smiled at me. “You should come out, dear. I have something to tell you.” His voice was dripping with sickly sweetness, drawn out like the stretch of molasses.
I lingered on the other side of the door, quivering in a towel. No way was I going out there.
“I’m good,” I said, pulling the towel tighter.
“I heard what happened with my son. You can rest assured, he is being punished.” He was a slick of oil, bright with rainbows playing across its surface, but dangerous, one wrong step, a slip, and you’d break your back.
I was sick of this game. Groaning, I pulled my hands through my wet hair. “What the hell do you want from me?” I knew it was pointless but I said it anyway, my voice hollowing out at the end. “How could you do that? How could you break someone’s spine for your own benefit?”
Silence followed for so long that I thought he was gone. I moved to the handle slowly, and then he spoke. “Well, the test had to be accurate. The fact that you know our test subject… well, that’s just a bonus.”
I wanted to scream, but it was futile. I knew he did this to Gwen because of me and I hated him for it, the hate extending and wrapping around my own wrist too. It was my fault.
“Your time with us is nearly ovvver. My procedure has been moved up. The test will be in one week and then… I will walk again.” He clapped his hands together once.
I laughed bitterly. “Forgive me if I don’t celebrate with you.”
He pushed the door hard, and I flew backwards towards the bathroom wall. He leered at me sitting on the tiles in a towel, shaking despite telling my body to straighten up.
“Since you have refused to cooperate,” he growled, “you’ve left me no choice other than to execute you and your friend.” I knew this. “And since you’ve been so stubborn, your demise will not be an easy one. No…” He held up one finger, pointed like a knife. “You’ve helped me make an important decision.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice losing its tiny edge.
His eyes were steel, nothing in them but cold, hardness. “Let’s just say, your reunion will be a short one.”
What did that mean?
“What do you mean?” I asked, scrambling to my knees, gripping the towel with one hand.
He rolled backwards, his eyes on his feet. The guard holding open the door let him pass while I crawled after him screaming, “What do you mean? Reunion with who?”
He ignored my screams. I tried to follow him, but the guard pushed me back. He shook his head, muttering, “Stop, Miss.”
I watched him roll away from beneath the arm of the guard. Judith passed him, a bag of ice and a tea towel in one hand. She leaned down to kiss Grant on the cheek. “Night, night, Daddy,” she drawled, using her twanging voice again. I cringed.
“You’re such a good daughter,” he crooned, smoothing her hair down.
She skipped towards me. “Let’s take care of that face,” she said once we were inside.
I breathed in, my lungs expanding too far.
What did he mean?
I breathed out, my lungs scrunching down flat.
What did he mean?
Electrified chills ran through my body like I’d stuck a fork in a toaster.
The next morning, after breakfast, I went back to our room. Judith skipped off to bake a cake or paint Grant’s toenails. I didn’t know—whatever a suck up did. I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Denis to take me downstairs, seething. Half my face was purple and all of my insides were blaring red with rage. I tried to remind myself that I needed him. Gwen needed him. But all I wanted to do was shove whatever alliance we had made deep into the rubbish bin and jump up and down on top of it.
When the knock on the door came, I considered ignoring it. But then the dragging and pulling would start. I had no choice.
Denis’ face was dark as shadows of shadows. He’d kept up a good act at breakfast, but now the mask had slipped off.
“I’m sorry,” he dribbled, and I wanted to slap him.
I glared at him, making sure the whole bruise was right in his field of vision. One blue eye crinkled in pain at the sight of me.
“I know you’re sorry. You already said that,” I snapped, stepping past him and into the hall.
Strips of white light cut me in half. I was dressed in black and red, and I was half-dark, half-light and on fire, standing in the cool sunlight. Denis shifted uncomfortably, like a beanpole in the wind. I ignored his guilty face and stared out of the window. It was a dirty winter, made of mud puddles and brown ice. I wished I could jump through the window and feel it—smell the rich earth, taste the crisp air.
I turned, and Denis was still standing there awkwardly.
His eyes swung to the camera in the corner carefully. “I just remembered, I need to borrow Judy’s music player before we go. There are some songs I need to download from it.”
Shrugging, I followed him back into the room. Suddenly, he shoved me into the bathroom and closed the door. He twisted on the taps and stared at himself in the mirror, bracing his hands on the sink.
“No amount of staring is going to change your stupid face,” I snarled as I caught my hideous expression in the mirror behind him, purple hate. Thin, angry, and not who I wanted to be.
“I’m really sorry, Rosa,” he said again.
I was getting annoyed. “Stop saying that! What do you want? Forgiveness? Fine, I forgive you for being just like you father, a violent bastard.”
He crumpled like my words were rocks thrown at his gut. “No. I’m sorry because I can’t go through with it. He’s watching me. He’s suspicious. I won’t be able to get the pills for your friend.” He exhaled loudly, as if it was so hard to say.
I wished I had rocks to throw. I wished I were strong enough to punch him. I clenched my fists at my sides. “So you’re going to let Gwen die because you’re scared of your father?” I shook my head. I should have known this would happen. “You could never deserve a man like Deshi. You are… beneath him,” I said cruelly.
He hung his head and muttered, “I know.”
My mind stretched and strained. I couldn’t let this happen. I turned to the wall, rich black and white tiles with swirls that looked like parsley leaves rolled in front of my eyes. Grant was suspicious. He was watching us both now. He was already distrustful of me. But his weakness was what he thought of me. He thought I was nothing, an insubstantial mess he could play with.
I strode out of the bathroom with a purpose tucked into my pocket. Denis stood there, looking pathetic. “Let’s go downstairs.”
I knew what I had to do.
JOSEPH
She’s almost out of reach to m
e now. Slipping below the horizon like the setting sun. And I can’t tell if it’s good or bad. All I know is that it puts the pain on hold.
A helicopter passed over our heads as we walked away from Palma. I ducked instinctively, as if it were close enough to touch me. Desh laughed. There was an old memory there, but I didn’t even need to shove it down. It was already buried. My head still swam in what Elise called hangover territory.
“Shut up!” I said as I elbowed Desh playfully. His look was suspicious, and I knew what it was about. My smiles were an endangered species. My smiles were a betrayal.
“Sorry, it’s just good to see you smile,” Desh said, slapping the tops of the ferns that whipped our legs with melting ice.
“We did good, didn’t we?” I grinned, thinking of Palma. The people had control. They were so ready for it. We didn’t even need to light the match, just give them the packet and let them start the fire all on their own.
Desh nodded. “That we did, man. Can’t believe the way those helicopters flew away from there. It was like, one look and they thought, No way are we even going to try and go in there!” He was giddy. We all were. We were floating on a high after the success of Palma.
I glanced up at the sky as the helicopter disappeared from view, wondering what we would find when we got to Pau. I knew it wouldn’t be like Palma.
A deep, dark wish had been working its way to the surface like a splinter as we got closer—I could find my parents. The other, even deeper wish was maybe I could find her mother. But that was a small wish. The problem was the more I thought about it, the more I started to chicken out. Seeing my parents meant facing what I’d done. I wasn’t sure I could handle it or them.
I frowned, my headache pulsing in my temples like a heartbeat.
“Yeah, that’s the face we’ve come to love,” Desh joked.
Elise sidled up next to me and smirked at Desh. “You just don’t know how to bring it out of him. The guy just needs to relax a little.”
Rash snorted ahead of us. “Yeah, I bet you know exactly how to relax him!”
Desh strode closer to Rash and opened his mouth, ready to shout highly intelligent abuse at him.
I stopped him. “Leave him. I know he’s full of it, so does everyone else. I’m not going to let him get to me anymore, so neither should you,” I said.
“That’s the way!” Elise said chirpily, slapping me on the back.
I pulled in at the contact. “Did a mosquito just tap me on the back?” I asked.
She slapped me harder and a memory crept up and held me, angry, desperate hands trying to pull me down. Cuts, blood, fingernails digging, digging. I reached for Elise’s flask that she kept in her backpack pocket. I snatched it, and she turned around. When she saw the flask, she jumped to get it from my hands, which I held high in the air.
“Hey,” she giggled, her hair flapping up and down like a birds wings as she jumped.
I took a drink, letting it warm my stomach and calm my head. She was still trying to get the flask from my hands. I chuckled as she tried to hit me again.
“What was that? Oh wait, nah, it was just the wind,” I teased. Desh laughed along with Elise, but there was something off about it, strained.
“Here.” Desh offered his bottle of water. “Slow down.”
I took a large gulp of the spirit, ignoring the concerned stare coming at me from my other side and the water being tucked back into his bag.
“Give it here,” Elise said, taking the flask back.
Two drinks were enough for now—enough to keep bad thoughts in the background.
We stopped for lunch in a sheltered spot under cracked birches, shading large boulders. Thankfully, we’d been given ample supplies from the citizens of Palma. They’d refilled our packs and our flasks. I pulled my jacket around me as the clouds came over.
Gus threw his pack on the ground with a thump and turned to face me. Some of the others moved away from us like they were anticipating something. “Joseph.” he sighed my name.
I took a step backwards because I thought I knew what he was going to say. “What’s wrong, Gus?” My hands were two fists of rock.
Matt approached me, with Pelo shadowing him. Everyone else fanned out and away.
“We had a chat about your, er, situation…” My situation? What did that even mean? “And we’ve decided that you shouldn’t go in to Pau with Pelo. One of the others will go.”
My fists crumbled at my sides. “Why?” I knew why.
Matt put his injured hand on my shoulder. “We’re just not sure you’re coping so well at the moment. We know how much you miss Rosa and Orry.” Don’t say her name. “We’re worried you’re not thinking straight. Grief is… well…”
I took a shaky breath and threatened Matt with my eyes to finish that sentence. It wasn’t just about missing her. It was about facing her.
Pelo put his hand on my head and patted me like a dog. “I’ll find your parents, I promise. We all feel that maybe you should sit this one out, son.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. “Did I do something wrong in Palma?” I asked, knowing full well there was no point in arguing.
Gus shook his head. “No, but this really is for your own good.”
I pulled my hands through my hair and exhaled. “Jesus, Gus, don’t talk to me like I’m a child.” I wanted to say more but I left it. Nodding, I walked away.
Everyone was a bit annoyed, a bit uncomfortable, and it spurred our feet to move faster like we could escape it. The happiness from Palma seeped away as we neared Pau. The small chatter leaked to nothing as we headed towards the railway track.
By nightfall, we’d reached the rails and decided to camp in a tunnel. It didn’t worry me like it once would have. I was numb to memories. I wasn’t allowing anything past the solid barrier I’d built.
A small fire kept us warm and we hunched down over the tracks, the cold biting into our butts. A bearded man nudged me.
“I don’t know what Gus is on about,” he muttered. “You did a great job in Palma.”
I shrugged. The decision had been made and in a way, I was grateful for it being out of my hands. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go in, and now I didn’t have to. I tried not to examine my reasons too closely. Packed it away with the other feelings that kept trying to drag me down. I shivered as a cold blast of air shot through the tunnel and put my hands out to the fire to warm them.
The bearded man handed me a bottle, its contents sloshing around the bottom. “This will warm you up.”
I put my hand up to decline, but then changed my mind and took it. What did it matter?
I caught Rash’s eyes across the fire, and briefly, I thought I saw something other than anger in his eyes. It looked like pity, which was so much worse.
ROSA
Today I’m going to be brave. I am my only chance. I am strong. Today, I will turn every slap, every break, every time they shake me and turn me upside down to see what will fall out, into bloody action. There is no choice.
I wound my strength tighter. Turned it over and over like a bandage in my hands, until they were wrapped like a boxer’s. They didn’t think I would do this and that was where they’d fail. I was bigger than stunts and stupid outfits. I could be bigger than all of them.
Denis led me downstairs. I talked as I normally would. I snapped at him. In the elevator I said, “Well, at least I don’t have too much more torture left to deal with, huh?” Denis’ shoulders pulled in, and he stared at the door. Yeah, guilt was an uncomfortable feeling, it dug in, constricted you like a too-tight, high-necked jacket, each regret pulled the buckles and straps tauter, each wrong action dragged the zip nearer to your throat. He had a lot to feel guilty about.
My thoughts were not on Grant. They were with Gwen. Save. Gwen’s. Life.
You can do this.
The doors slid open and I walked through the garage with Denis close to me, his hand always hovering at my waist. My eyes glanced at the dark door, the one that opened into night
mares. My body twitched like someone flicked a switch inside me, sending a sharp slap of pain up my spine and out my nostrils. I looked away and turned in on the one thought I had to sustain. Do it.
We took two more steps and my desperate eyes found what I needed, lying there like a cut snake, silver, heavy, perfect.
I pretend to trip, knelt down, and snatched the piece of metal from beneath the front of the gleaming, green car. Denis leaned down to help me, and I swung around.
I hate the noise. I hate it.
The ‘crack’ as I hit Denis as hard as I could burrowed into my head and made a nest so it could stay there.
He appeared confused. His eyebrows drawn down like brackets around his rolling eyes. He put his hand to the side of his head like he wasn’t sure if it was still there. Regret crept up my throat, but I swallowed it. I searched his pockets and found what I needed, his handheld. He resisted me but softly, flopping around like a fish on a jetty. I grabbed his wrist and pulled back his sleeve, quickly taking a photo of his wrist tattoo. He didn’t make a sound. Staring at me with urgent, weeping eyes, he mouthed, “Run.” Then he rolled to his side and coughed.
I slammed the handheld into my pocket and ran.
All I could hear was my own breath and the crunch of ice beneath my feet. All I could think about was Joseph and Deshi running just like this, hearts pounding and breaking together.
I arrived at the gate to Este’s compound and fumbled around for the handheld. I knew they would be able to track me, that didn’t matter. I knew they would catch me. I just needed to get there a few minutes before they did.
Pulling up the photo, I prayed it would work. I held it under the scanner, turning it back and forth, trying to get that beep. My body was ready to press itself through the wires if it didn’t hurry up.
Beep!
The Wanted (The Woodlands Series Book 4) Page 19