by Jaci Burton
Well, no more. He was done with having his heart stomped on.
And he was done with Mia for good.
THIRTY-EIGHT
THE VISIT FROM HER MOTHER HAD BEEN A SURPRISE. Maybe it was the tone in Mia's voice the past couple of weeks during their phone calls, or maybe Flynn had said something to her, but when her mom showed up on her doorstep three days ago, Mia had stepped into her mother's arms and cried. And cried some more. And then even more.
She'd taken a couple of days off work, which she hadn't wanted to do but they had no presentations and Monique had insisted they had everything under control. Monique told her she was tired of seeing her moping around the office, so she should spend some time with her mom.
Mia needed it.
They'd cuddled and talked and cooked and drank wine together. And Mia had poured out her story about what happened with Nathan.
"So, you screwed up," her mother said.
Leave it to her mother to pull no punches.
Mia had reached for a tissue and blew her nose. "Yes, I screwed up."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"Nothing. I tried explaining it to him and I only made it worse. He hates me now." That made the tears spring forth anew so she had to grab for another tissue.
She was so tired of crying.
Her mom gave her a decidedly unsympathetic look. "I did not raise a daughter who gives up. You'll have to find another way."
She sighed. "I don't know what to do. I thought I was doing the right thing. How could I have been so wrong, Mom?"
"Oh. You mean you're not perfect and you don't always make the right decisions? That's called life, Mia."
Mia frowned. "This is not helping."
"Sorry. But you got yourself into this mess by not being open and communicative with the man you love. What were you thinking?"
"I . . . don't know. A total collapse in common sense, I guess."
"You know what you have to do. Apologize to Nathan. And keep apologizing to him. Tell him you love him. You've told him you love him, haven't you?"
She wiped her nose. "Well, no."
Her mother rolled her eyes. "Tell him you love him. That you're sorry. And keep telling him until he listens to you. Until he believes you."
She sighed. "I hate being wrong."
Her mother laughed. "I know. But it's good for your character. Think of it as part of growing up."
"Being a grown-up sucks."
Her mother put her arms around her and cuddled her close. "Don't I know it. Every time I've had to apologize to your father, I've thought much the same thing."
Mia laughed.
Once she finally got over crying and feeling sorry for herself, Mom made her shower and get dressed. They went out for lunch and went shopping, and by the second day she felt a bit more like herself.
She was still sad and felt awful, but she had renewed hope. Because her mother was correct. She was going to have to find a way to make amends with Nathan. She might not ever get him back, but she had to make things right between them.
She was smart.
She'd figure out how.
THIRTY-NINE
THREE GAMES INTO THE SEASON AND THE SABERS were three and oh. Nathan was a goddamn machine on the field and he felt incredible about it.
As long as he could play football and not have to think about anything else, life was damn good.
"Feel like celebrating tonight?" Jamal asked.
"Nah, my parents are in town so I'm heading over to hang out with them."
"Oh, great."
"But thanks for the invite. And great game again. You rocked those two touchdowns today."
"Hey, only because of you and your rocket arm, my man."
He finished up his interviews and packed it up. His parents were in town for the home game today so he was meeting them at the house for dinner. They had Sam with them and he was looking forward to catching up with his little brother.
"Nathan!" Sam flew into his legs as soon as his dad opened the door.
"Sammy!" Nathan scooped him up and twirled him around. "Hey, you're heavy."
"That's because I'm big now."
His dad laughed. "It's always the same with you two. Hey, Nathan."
"Hey, Dad."
"I saw you play football today." Sam plucked at his football jersey. "I'm wearin' your number."
"I see that. It's probably why we won today."
Sam's eyes widened. "You think so?"
"I know so, buddy."
He played with Sam for a while, until his little brother decided to go hang out with his friend next door. Then Nathan sat down with his parents while his mom fixed dinner.
"You're looking solid out there on the field, Nathan," his dad said. "Press coverage says you're like a machine."
Nathan laughed and took a sip of the soda his mom had given him. "Thanks, Dad. Things seem to be gelling well for the team. It helps to have a lot of great weapons to throw to."
"Don't I know it."
"How's Mia?" his mom asked. "I didn't see her at the game today."
"No idea. We aren't seeing each other anymore."
Her mom looked shocked. "Oh, no. What happened?"
"Tara," his dad said. "That's not our business."
"But you two were so close. I thought it was love."
"Yeah, well, it wasn't."
"Mick, go grab Sam from the Millers'," his mom said. "It's time to eat."
"Okay."
After his dad left, his mom sat next to him. "What happened?"
When his mother asked, you didn't get to dodge the question. So he told her everything.
"You know she did that to protect you."
"I didn't need protecting. And I didn't need to be treated like one of her clients."
His mother took his hand. "I can understand how you might see it that way. But I think Mia was genuinely frightened for you. And maybe you could see it her way. You do realize she's in love with you, and she sacrificed the relationship for the good of your career?"
Nathan shook his head. "Nah. She didn't care enough to save it."
His mother sighed. "Men and their pride. It's always so black and white with you. If you take some time to really think things over, maybe you'll think differently."
"I don't want to think differently."
She smiled at him. "That's because you're hurt. But you love her, don't you?"
He didn't want to answer that.
"You don't have to tell me. But search your heart, Nathan. Because a true love like the one I think you have with Mia only comes around once in a lifetime." She brushed his hair away from his face and it reminded him of being a kid again. "I'm always here for you. Anytime you need to talk. You know you'll never be too old to need your mom."
He squeezed her hand, then leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Mom. I love you."
"I love you, too, Nathan."
After dinner, he drove back to his condo. He had plenty of time to think about what his mother had said.
Had he just reacted to what Mia said without thinking about her motivation?
They'd been friends forever. She had never done anything to hurt him. And she'd always been in his corner where his career was concerned. She'd never been callous or thoughtless. Hell, that just wasn't her.
Until she'd dumped him, of course. And that's all he'd been thinking about lately.
But they'd been growing closer and closer, and he'd known he was in love with her. He could have sworn her feelings were the same. Which was why it had been such a shock when she'd dumped him. If he was honest with himself, thinking back now, she'd looked as hurt about it as he had. But he'd only thought about his own feelings.
Had she really sacrificed their relationship for him?
There was only one way to find out, and that was to talk to her.
He wasn't ready yet. And maybe that was his ego talking, but he needed to sound out his feelings with someone he trusted, someone who'd understand wha
t he was going through. Right now he needed to talk to one of his boys.
He texted Jamal. He was free, so he went over to his place.
He lived in a condo similar to Nathan's. It had been a while since he'd been here, and Nathan could see Wendy's influence. There were flowerpots and some trendy new art on the wall along with decorative pillows. And was that a new couch?
"Added some new shit to the place, huh?"
Jamal cracked a smile. "Wendy. Did I tell you she's moving in?"
"You didn't." He followed Jamal into the kitchen.
"Beer, energy drink or water?" Jamal asked.
"Water's good, thanks."
Jamal fixed him a glass of ice water and they went back into the living room. Nathan pulled up a chair and Jamal sat on the sofa.
"So things are getting serious between you two, huh?" Nathan asked.
Jamal nodded. "Yeah. I'm in love with her. She's good for me."
"That's great, man. I'm happy for you."
"Thanks. So what's up with you?"
"It's Mia. She's got my head all screwed up."
Jamal leaned back against the sofa. "Talk to me."
He told Jamal everything that went down between Mia and him, what she'd done, how the breakup happened and why.
"Huh." Jamal took a long swallow of his energy drink. "That's messed up."
"Yeah."
"I don't blame you for kicking her to the curb for good. She's trash."
Nathan frowned. "I wouldn't go that far. I mean, she messed up, definitely."
"Come on, man. She fucked you over. She's a piece of shit. Dump her for good and move on. She's not worth your time."
Nathan looked down at his hands. They were clasped tight and he felt the stirrings of anger. Nathan being mad at Mia was one thing. Hearing Jamal talk shit about her didn't sit right with him. "She did it because she cares about me."
Jamal's lips curved. "So you love her."
Then it dawned on him. "You were testing me. Fucker."
Jamal laughed. "Hey, it worked, didn't it? You don't want things to be over with her, do you? If you were really done with her, you'd have joined in the trash talk. Instead, you defended her."
"You're right."
"So, she made a mistake and your ego got bruised. Man, I've been there. It's hard to admit to ourselves when that happens. Hell, wasn't that long ago Wendy and I had a big-ass blowup. She walked out and I swore we were done."
"So what happened?"
"I cooled down and we talked and we both realized we were two stubborn people who liked things our own way. But we talked to each other, man. We figured it out. That's what you and Mia have to do."
Nathan dragged in a deep breath. "You're right. Thanks, Jamal."
"Hey, that's what friends are for. You know I'm always here for you."
He didn't know what he'd do without his best friend.
Now he had to go and get his other best friend back.
FORTY
MIA WAS SHOCKED TO HER TOES WHEN SHE GOT THE text message from Nathan while she was at work.
Can you come over to my place tonight?
She didn't know what it meant, but she was more than open to it. She quickly sent back a reply.
Yes. Anytime.
He replied with: How about 6:30?
There was nothing in his message to indicate whether he wanted to yell at her some more or whether he was in a good mood. But she wanted to be prepared either way. After work, she stopped and bought something for him. Then she took a shower, dried her hair and put on makeup, then slipped into a black-and-white sundress and her sandals. She wanted to keep it casual, but she wanted to look good, too.
She drove over to his place and took out the bag and carried it to his door, her heart pounding the entire time. She rang the bell, hoping she didn't pass out from the stress while she waited.
Nathan pulled the door open. He was wearing relaxed jeans and a tight dark T-shirt. His hair was thick and long and if they'd still been friends she would have teased him about needing a haircut.
But she didn't have that right anymore.
He looked so good and all she wanted to do was smother him with kisses and wrap herself around him and never let him go.
She resisted.
"Hi," he said. "Come on in."
"Thanks."
She walked in and he shut the door behind her. She felt awkward and nervous and hated every second of how she felt around him.
She really missed her best friend.
"I have wine. Would you like a glass?"
She'd like about four glasses.
"Yes. Thank you."
He sounded just as nervous and awkward as she was. That made her feel a little better.
"I'll be right back." He stopped and turned around. "Uh, you can sit down if you'd like. I also have snacks. You hungry?"
"Not right now."
"Okay."
She took a seat on his sofa and looked around. His place was still as she remembered. Very chrome and black and gray. Nicely furnished, but . . . stark.
He came back in with a glass of white wine and handed it to her.
"Thank you."
She noticed he took a seat on the chair, not on the sofa with her.
"Nice dress," he said.
"Thanks."
She was going to die if they continued to talk to each other like they were acquaintances instead of friends. Lovers.
"My mom was here visiting last week. I got the dress when I was out shopping with her."
His brows raised. "Your mom came to visit?"
"Yes. Unexpectedly."
"Oh, yeah?" He frowned. "Everything okay? With your parents? Your brothers?"
"Yes. Everything's fine." She wasn't about to tell him her mother came because she'd utterly fallen apart after their last encounter. "Just an impromptu visit."
"I'm sure that was nice."
"It was."
"My parents were here with Sam after the game last weekend."
"Oh, great. I'm sure you had a wonderful time visiting with them. And with Sam."
"Yeah, it was good."
"And your game was exceptional."
"Thanks."
He took a swallow of beer and set it down on the table. "Mia, I--"
"I love you, Nathan."
He stared at her. She couldn't believe she'd just blurted it out.
"What?"
"I realized I'd never said it to you. And I'm sorry. I should have said it before. And I meant to. It was my main motivation for--for what I did. Because I loved you. I mean, not past tense. It's not like I don't love you now, because I do." She set her wineglass on the table. "God, I'm screwing this up."
He slanted a look at her, one that spoke of the same confusion she felt. "We're weird around each other now. It sucks."
She inhaled deeply, then blew it out. "Yes. I hate it. We've never been weird around each other and I hate that we are now. And it's all my fault and I'm sorry about that. I made such a mistake, Nathan. I was trying to do the right thing for you and I ended up screwing up. I screwed us up right when things were going so well."
"Yeah, you did. But I didn't help things by not coming out and asking you what was going on. You know how pushy I am. But my pride got in the way."
"None of this is your fault. It's entirely mine."
"And I loved you, too. Love you, too. Still, present tense."
She blinked. "You still love me?"
"You're kind of hard to fall out of love with, Mia. God knows I've tried. But I can't. I think I've loved you since college. I'll probably love you forever."
Tears pricked her eyes. "I love you, too. So, so much. I've cried buckets over you the past few weeks, Nathan Riley. And I have never once cried over a guy. I cried so much it forced my mother to get on a plane and come out here to babysit me."
"Oh, so that's why she was here."
Tears streamed down her face. "Yes. Days and buckets of tears. I was wrecked over losing you. And I don'
t cry. You know this about me. And if that isn't love, I don't know what is."
He gave her a half smile. "So loving me makes you cry?"
She got off the sofa and came over to him, dropping to her knees in front of him. "No, Nathan. Losing you made me cry. You've been my best friend forever. And then I fell in love with you and I did something so stupid that I lost you. And I knew I'd never get over losing you. That's what made me cry. Please forgive me."
He swept his hand over her hair. "I love you, Mia. As long as you trust me with your heart, you'll always have mine."
"I love you, too. You have my heart, and my trust. Always and forever."
He took her hands and helped her up, then put her on his lap. And then he kissed her, and her heart swelled with such joy she thought it might explode. Just feeling his body against hers again made the tears spring forth. But when Nathan swiped his thumb over her cheek and murmured, "No more tears," against her lips, she shuddered.
He was right. It was time to celebrate. Because she thought for sure this day would never come. Though she should know better, because she was in love with a man who had the most generous, most forgiving heart.
"Oh, I got you something," she said.
"You did?"
"Yes."
She slid off his lap and went to get the bag she'd brought. She came back and sat on his lap again and handed him the bag.
He opened it and pulled out two pillows. One was lavender and gray, the other was a darker purple and yellow.
His lips curved. "Some color for the living room?"
She sniffed and swiped away residual tears. "Yes. God, you need some color in here, Nathan."
He laughed. "Thank you. They're perfect."
He set the pillows back in the bag, then kissed her. "You're perfect."
"I'm so not."
"Then you're perfect for me."
She felt serious for a moment. "I promise to always trust you with what's on my mind. Even if they're stupid nonsense thoughts."
He rubbed her back. "That's my girl. And I promise to always listen to you, and to tell you what's on my mind, too. Even if it's football."
She laughed. "I love you, Nathan."
"I love you, too, Mia."
He kissed her, a deep soulful kiss. She felt the love in his kiss and she knew they were going to be all right.
It's never too late for a second chance at first love . . .
Read on for an excerpt from the latest novel in the Hope series by Jaci Burton
Available now from Headline Eternal.
Chapter 1
LORETTA SIMMONS JUMPED at the sound of a loud crash next door.