'What do you mean, lost your life?'
'I'm not... a part of me died.'
'Please...'
'I was found and rescued, but I died too. Something inside me. Something I had before. I don't know exactly what it was. My brother died and I think something inside me died too. I always felt he was my responsibility, and I failed him. That's the way I've felt ever since. I've been guilty that it was me and not him who survived. I've avoided looking anything in the face ever since. And even if I wasn't directly neglected, the way I neglected you and Sindri, it was as if I no longer mattered. I don't know if I'm right and I never will know, but I felt it as soon as I came down from the moor and I've felt it ever since.'
'All these years?'
'You can't measure time in feelings.'
'Because it was you and not him who survived.'
'Instead of trying to rebuild something from the ruins, which I think I was trying to do when I met your mother, I dug myself down deeper into it because it's comfortable there and it looks like sanctuary. Like when you take drugs. It's more comfortable that way. That's your sanctuary. And as you know, even if you are aware that you're doing other people wrong, your own self matters most. That's why you go on taking drugs. That's why I dig myself down over and again into the snowdrift.'
Eva Lind stared at her father, and although she did not fully comprehend him, she realised that he was making an absolutely candid attempt to explain what had puzzled her all the time and had prompted her to track him down when she did. She understood that she had penetrated a place within him that no one else had ever been to, not even him, except to make sure that everything there remained undisturbed.
'And that woman? Where does she come into the picture?'
Erlendur shrugged, and started to close the door that had come ajar.
'I don't know,' he said.
They stayed silent for a while until Eva Lind made her excuses and left. Unsure which direction to take, she peered into the darkness at the end of the corridor, and Erlendur suddenly noticed she was sniffing at the air like a dog.
'Can you smell that?' she said, sticking her nose up into the air.
'Smell what?' Erlendur said. 'What are you talking about?'
'Hash,' Eva Lind said. 'Dope. Do you mean to tell me you've never smelted hash?'
'Hash?'
'Can't you smell it?'
Erlendur went out into the corridor and started sniffing into the air as well.
'Is that what it is?' he said.
'You're asking the expert,' she said.
She was still sniffing at the air.
'Someone's been smoking hash down here, and not very long ago,' she said.
Erlendur knew that forensics had lit up the end of the corridor when the body was taken away, but was uncertain whether it had been fine-combed.
He looked at Eva Lind.
'Hash?'
'You're on the scent,' she said.
He went back into the room, took a chair and placed it in the corridor underneath one of the functional light bulbs, which he unscrewed. The bulb was scorching and he had to use the sleeve of his jacket to grip it. He found a blown bulb at the dark end of the corridor and swapped them. Suddenly it was illuminated and Erlendur jumped down from the chair.
At first they could see nothing of note, until Eva Lind pointed out to her father how spotlessly clean the alcove at the end seemed to be compared with the rest of the corridor. Erlendur nodded. It was as if every single spot on the floor had been cleaned and the walls wiped down.
Erlendur got down on all fours and scanned the floor. Heating pipes ran along all the walls at floor level and he looked under the pipes and crawled alongside them.
Eva Lind saw him stop and fish under the pipe to fetch something that had caught his attention. He got to his feet, walked over to her and showed her what he had found.
'At first I thought it was rat droppings,' he said, holding up a little brown lump between his fingers.
'What is it?' Eva Lind asked.
'It's a gauze,' Erlendur said.
'A gauze?'
'Yes, containing chewing tobacco that you put under your lip. Someone has thrown away or spat out his chewing tobacco here in this corridor.'
'But who? Who could have been in this corridor?'
Erlendur looked at Eva Lind.
'Someone who's a bigger tart than I am,' he said.
CHRISTMAS EVE
30
He found out that Ösp was working on the floor above his room, and he went up the stairs after having coffee and toast from the breakfast buffet.
He contacted Sigurdur Óli about some information he needed him to gather and phoned Elínborg to find out whether she had remembered to question the woman Stefania claimed to have met at the hotel when she was captured on the security camera. Elínborg had gone out and did not answer her mobile.
Erlendur had lain awake in bed until almost morning, in pitch darkness. When he finally got up he looked out of the hotel window. It would be a white Christmas this year. The snow was setting in seriously. He could see it in the light from the lamp posts. Thick snow fell into the light they shed and formed a kind of backdrop for Christmas Eve.
Eva Lind had said goodbye to him in the basement corridor. She was going to meet him at home that evening. They were going to boil some smoked lamb and when he woke up he started wondering what to give her for Christmas. He had given her small presents after she began spending Christmas with him and she had given him socks, which she admitted she had stolen, and once a pair of gloves, which she said she had bought and he soon lost. She never asked about them. Perhaps the aspect of his daughter's character that he liked most was that she never asked about anything unless it mattered.
Sigurdur Óli called him with the information. It wasn't much, but enough to go on. Erlendur didn't know exactly what he was looking for, but thought his hypothesis was worth putting to the test.
He watched her working on her hotel floor as before, until she noticed him. She did not show any particular surprise at seeing him.
'Are you up?' she said, as if he was the laziest guest at the hotel.
'It took me ages to get to sleep,' he said. 'Actually I was thinking about you all night.'
'Me?' Ösp said, putting a heap of towels into a laundry basket. 'Nothing dirty, I hope. I've had enough of dirty old men at this hotel.'
'No,' Erlendur said. 'Nothing dirty'
'Fatso asked me if I'd been grassing to you, telling you shit. And the chef shouted at me like I was stealing from his buffet. They knew we'd been talking.'
'Everyone knows more or less everything about everyone else at this hotel,' Erlendur said. 'But they never really say anything about anyone. Such people are very difficult to deal with. Like you, for example.'
'Me?' Ösp went into the room she was cleaning and Erlendur followed her inside as he had done before.
'You tell me everything and I believe every word because you create an honest and truthful impression, but actually you're only telling a fraction of what you know, which is also a lie of sorts. No less serious for us, the police. That sort of lie. Do you know what I'm talking about?'
Ösp did not reply. She was busy changing the beds. Erlendur watched her. He couldn't read what she was thinking. She acted as if he wasn't in the room. As if she could shake him off if she just pretended he was not there.
'For example, you didn't tell me that you have a brother' Erlendur said.
'Why should I tell you that?'
'Because he's in trouble.'
'He's not in any trouble.'
'Not with me, he's not,' Erlendur said. 'I haven't got him into trouble. But he is in trouble and he sometimes goes to his sister for help when he needs it.'
'I don't get you,' Ösp said.
'I'll tell you. He's been in prison twice, not long stretches, for burglary and theft. Some of it has been found out, other things doubtless haven't, that's the way it goes. These are typical petty offe
nces by a small-time criminal. Typical crimes by a junkie who's in debt. He's on the most expensive stuff now and never has enough money. But dealers don't do things by halves. They've caught him more than once and beaten him up. Once they threatened to kneecap him. So he needs to do odd jobs besides stealing to buy his drugs. To cover his debts'
Ösp put down the linen.
'He has various recourses for financing his habit,' Erlendur said. 'You probably know that. Like all those kids do. Kids who are hopeless junkies'
Ösp remained silent.
'Do you understand what I'm saying?'
'Did Stína tell you this?' Ösp said. 'I saw her here yesterday. I've often seen her here and if anyone's a tart it's her.'
'She didn't tell me any of this,' Erlendur said, not allowing Ösp to change the subject. 'It wasn't long ago your brother was in the corridor where Gudlaugur was living. He could even have been there since the murder. He may have been there very recently. His smell's still mere, for those who recognise it. For people who smoke hash and use speed and cook heroin.'
Ösp stared at him. Erlendur didn't have much to work on when he went to see her. Only the fact that the alcove was spotlessly clean, but he could tell from her reaction that what he was saying was not so wide of the mark. He wondered whether to take an even greater gamble. After deliberating for a while, he decided to give it a shot.
'We found his chewing tobacco too,' Erlendur said. 'Has he been using that for long?'
Ösp was still staring at him without saying a word. Finally she looked down at the bed. Took a long look, until she seemed to resign herself.
'Since he was fifteen,' she said, almost inaudibly.
He waited for her to go on, but she added nothing and they stood facing each other in the hotel room, and Erlendur allowed the silence to reign for a while. In the end Ösp sighed and sat down on the bed.
'He's always broke,' she said softly. 'Owes everyone money. All the time. And then they threaten him and beat him up, but he still keeps on and his debts mount up. Sometimes he gets money and can pay part of it off. Mum and Dad gave up on him ages ago. Threw him out when he was seventeen. They sent him to rehab and he ran away. He didn't come home for a week or so and they put a missing persons announcement in the papers. He didn't give a shit. He's been dossing around ever since. I'm the only one in the family who keeps in touch with him. Sometimes I let him into the basement in the winter. He's slept in the alcove when he needs to hide. I've banned him from having drugs down there but I can't control him either. No one has any control over him.'
'Have you given him money? To pay off those debts?'
'Sometimes, but it's never enough. They've been round to Mum and Dad threatening blue murder and they smashed Dad's car in, so now they're paying to try to get the thugs off their backs, but it's just so much. They charge ridiculous interest on those debts and when they talk to the police, guys like you, the cops say they can't do anything because it's only threats, and apparently it's OK to threaten people.'
She looked at Erlendur.
'If they kill Dad, maybe you'll look into the matter.'
'Did your brother know Gudlaugur? They must have known about each other. From the basement'
'They knew each other,' Ösp said gloomily.
'How?'
'Gulli paid him for...' Ösp stopped.
'For what?'
'Favours he did.'
'Sexual favours?'
'Yes, sexual favours'
'How do you know that?'
'My brother told me.'
'Was he with Gudlaugur that afternoon?'
'I don't know. I haven't seen him for days, not since ...' She stopped. 'I haven't seen him since Gudlaugur was stabbed,' she then said. 'He hasn't been in touch.'
'I think he may have been in the corridor not so long ago. Since Gudlaugur's murder.'
'I haven't seen him.'
'Do you think he attacked Gudlaugur?'
'I don't know,' Ösp said. 'All I know is that he's never attacked anyone. And he's constantly on the run and he must be on the run now because of this, even though he didn't do anything. He could never hurt anyone.'
And you don't know where he is now?'
'No, I haven't heard from him.'
'Do you know whether he knew that British man I mentioned to you. Henry Wapshott? The one with the child pornography'
'No, he didn't know him. I don't think so anyway. What are you asking that for?'
'Is he gay? Your brother?'
Ösp looked at him.
'I know he does anything for money,' she said. 'But I don't think he's gay'
'Will you tell him I want to talk to him. If he noticed anything in the basement I need to speak to him about it. I also need to ask him about his relationship with Gudlaugur. I need to know whether he saw him the day he was murdered. Will you do that for me? Tell him I need to talk to him?'
'Do you think he did it? Killed Gudlaugur?'
'I don't know,' Erlendur said. 'If I don't hear from him very soon I'll have to declare him wanted for questioning.'
Ösp showed no reaction.
'Did you know that Gudlaugur was gay?' he asked.
Ösp looked up.
'Judging from what my brother said he seems to have been. And judging from what he paid my brother for being with him ...'
Ösp stopped.
'Did you know that Gudlaugur was dead when you were asked to go and fetch him?' Erlendur asked.
She looked at him.
'No, I didn't know. Don't try to pin this on me. Is that what you're trying to do? Do you reckon I killed him?'
'You didn't tell me about your brother in the basement'
'He's always in trouble but I know he didn't do that. I know he could never do anything like that. Never.'
'You two must be close, the way you take care of him.'
'We've always been good friends,' Ösp said as she stood up. 'I'll talk to him if he gets in touch. Tell him you need to meet him in case he knows anything about what happened.'
With a nod, Erlendur said he would be at the hotel for most of the day and she could always find him there.
'It has to happen right away, Ösp,' he said.
31
When Erlendur went back down to the lobby he noticed Elínborg at the reception desk. The head of reception pointed towards him and Elínborg turned round. She was looking for him and walked over briskly wearing a concerned expression that Erlendur seldom saw.
'Is something the matter?' he asked as she approached.
'Can we sit down somewhere?' she said. 'Is the bar open yet? God, what a pathetic job this is! I don't know why I bother.'
'What's up?' Erlendur asked, taking her by the arm and leading her to the bar. The door was closed but not locked, and they went inside. Although the room was open, the bar itself seemed to be closed. Erlendur saw a sign saying it would not open for another hour. They sat down in one of the booths.
Voices Page 28