by Rina Kent
I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “You don’t have to return.”
Or else Shadow will follow her and find me. I’ve been barely holding on these weeks. If I see his face, I don’t know what will happen.
“He won’t find you,” Mist says as if reading my thoughts. Darn. Am I that transparent? “He’s good at hunting, but I hide my tracks better.”
I smile, but I’m sure it comes out awkward. Shadow is the most unpredictable person I know. Underestimating him equals a death sentence.
Mist goes way back with him, and maybe she knows him better than I do, but I can’t trust that he won’t be able to track her — and therefore me.
After Mist leaves, I lead Elle and sit her on the porch and inspect her from head to toe. No visible injuries. The black dress hangs a little loose around her frame. Wait. Isn’t this Scar’s dress? I swear I saw her stare at it just to throw it away. In her words, ‘the dress is boring’.
The outfit aside, there’s something drastically different about Elle. It doesn’t have to do with the tears still shining in her eyes, but more with her slumped shoulders and the sheen of loss on her soft features.
The last time I saw her, she was a fighter through and through. Whenever she lost a match, she’d rebound as if nothing happened. Now, she appears like she lost something more precious than a fight.
I sit beside her and hold her hand. “What happened, Ellie?”
Her scowl greets me back. “Why don’t you tell me what happened, Zoe? We thought you were dead.” More tears stream down her cheeks and her lips tremble. “Do you know what it feels like to wake up every day and try to convince myself that you’re not dead?”
I bite my lower lip to not burst into tears again. “I’m so sorry, Ellie. I… wanted to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?”
“From that place and the people in it.” Knots form in my throat and words come out smothered with emotions. “I’m so sorry for being a horrible friend. I should’ve thought your stubborn arse would go to that atrocious place looking for me.”
She shakes her head and smiles through tears. “You would’ve done the same.”
“You seem so different, Ellie.” I stroke strands of her thick brown hair back. “What happened to you in there?”
“A lot.”
“Is part of it because of Ghost?”
It’s mere speculation, but I get my answer even before she speaks. Her shoulders droop and her expression becomes gloomier.
It’s not a coincidence that both Elle and Ghost sport the same tortured look.
“Even you know his name is Ghost. I only got Julian.” She throws a dismissive hand. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“How can it not matter when you look like a mess? He didn’t assault you or something, did he? I’ll kill him with my bare hands.”
“No!” Elle appears offended that I even suggested such a thing. “He’d never do that.”
“Then what is it?”
“I’m just too raw now.” Her voice chokes with pent-up feelings. “Can we talk about it later?”
“Sure.” I swallow, not wanting to think about my next words. “Did Shadow hurt you?”
“No. He actually helped me search for you.”
“He did?”
Elle nods, sniffling the remnants of her tears.
“He didn’t force you. He helped you?” I do a double take.
“Yeah. He was suspicious of me at first, but once he realised I’m your friend, he changed his attitude and helped me.”
My mouth hangs open, and I’m unable to form words. I was scared he’d have hunted Liam and Elle down, but I never thought he’d help her.
What happened to the devil?
“What’s the deal with him anyway?” Elle’s inquisitive huge blue eyes bore into mine.
“Nothing.”
She points a finger at my chest. “I followed him to the lake house. No one but the three of us know about that house. You even left him a note. I call bollocks on the ‘nothing’.”
“It’s… a long story.”
She folds her arms. “I have all day.”
“I’ll tell you.” I wrap an arm around her shoulders, stand, and take her with me. “You need to sleep first. You look exhausted.”
Truth is, I’m not ready to talk about any of this. I have neither the courage nor the energy.
And I’m scared.
There, I admit it. I’m scared that Elle won’t accept my baby. What if she judges me for carrying a killer’s baby or that I still have stupid lingering feelings for said killer.
“I knew you were brave, but going into that organisation is so ballsy.” I ruffle Elle’s hair as I lead her into my bedroom. “I’m so glad nothing happened to you.”
“It was mad,” she admits, uncaring about her messed up hair. Elle was never one for appearances. “Drug, gambling and prostitution. I still can’t believe I was a part of all that.”
“You weren’t.” I retrieve a blanket from the old wooden wardrobe. “It’s the leaders’ fault, not yours.”
Elle slouches on the bed with a deep sigh. “It’s not their fault either.”
I peek at her over my shoulder. “What do you mean?”
“You didn’t know?”
“Know what?”
She taps the spot beside her like a granny who’s about to tell a story. Curiosity takes the better of me. I trudge towards her and sit down on the bed with the blanket on my lap.
“Do you at least know they aren’t natives in the mafia world?” She asks.
“Mist told me that she, Ghost and Shadow are bigger than the mobster business.”
“Correct. Scar and that silent bloke with the ginger beard, too.”
“Wait.” I hold up a hand. “Scar?”
Elle’s nose scrunches as if remembering something. “She’s one of them. I was surprised when I found out, too.”
“Well, she’s a bit crazy so it isn’t a complete surprise.”
“Hey! She’s the only friend I had there.”
I glare down at her. “You replaced me so soon?”
She bumps my shoulder with hers. “She helped me. We’re friends.”
It’s odd to imagine Elle being friends with Scar. Considering the latter’s level of hyperactivity, it must’ve been a nightmare on Ellie’s introverted scale, but at least she wasn’t alone there. And she is wearing Scar’s dress.
“Anyhow, Le Salon isn’t their endgame,” Elle continues.
“They’re killers for hire.” I fiddle with the blanket. “I know that much.”
I resist adding that I witnessed Shadow’s cold-blooded killing first hand.
My body still tenses at that emotionless look in his eyes while bathing in his victim’s blood.
“Then do you know about Omega?” Elle asks.
“Omega?”
Elle nods eagerly as if she’s been dying to talk about this with someone. “It’s a drug. They’ve been injected with it since they were kidnapped as children. The drug enhances their abilities, shuts down their pain receptors and turns them into unfeeling killing machines.”
My lips part as overdrive of thoughts overtakes me. That explains the way Shadow barely expressed any pain or how his conscious sometimes drifted to an unreachable place.
“They’re trying to detox.” Elle smiles a little. “Ghost is almost clean. Mist, too, I think. Scar is trying with meditating, so I don’t know where that will go.”
They can detox? A glimmer of hope starts at the back of my head until a grimmer thought squashes it. “I’m sure Shadow isn’t.”
Elle traces the firefly bracelet I’ve given her as a token of friendship. “I think he’s detoxing, too. He fights with Jul… I mean Ghost every morning and they bleed each other. It’s their way to purge pent up energy caused by Omega.”
“He could be faking it.” If there’s anything I learnt about Shadow then it’s his lack of care about people’s expectations. In fact, he might want
to know what’s expected of him just so he’d do the opposite. He’s that type of unpredictable.
I fight the urge to ask Elle how he’s doing. If his shoulder wound healed. If he’s living well.
It’s none of my business.
“They have to pretend they’re still on the drugs,” Elle continues, oblivious to my torn emotions. “They need to keep it under wraps because they’re being monitored. The organisation they come from is called The Pit. The leader bastard whose name is Hades is holding their mates in Team Zero as hostages. He won’t release them unless Julian and the others take care of all the mafia business.”
Hades. The Pit. I heard those names during Shadow’s fight with the other man.
Something in my heart lights up a little. No idea why. Maybe it’s the fact that Shadow is forced into this or that he cares about someone other than himself.
That light withers away like a dying candle.
None of what Elle says changes what Shadow is.
Dad was also made into a killer for the British army. He even received medals from the queen for his courage. None of his shiny medals or visits to the palace erased the fact that he’s a murderer.
Deep down, that urge to destroy pushed him to end our family in the most gruesome way.
The only difference between my dad and Shadow is that one paraded his killer badge while the other lurks in the darkness.
“Zoe?”
Elle’s voice breaks me from my reverie and I realise I’m strangling the blanket. I smile at her expectant expression. “You little sneak. You gathered more information than me. It’s almost as if you had the forces’ training.”
The sadness from earlier returns. “Julian… I mean Ghost told me all about it.”
They must’ve been close if he trusted her with such information. My heart tugs. Shadow never deemed me close enough to tell anything.
Not that I reciprocated, but still…
Elle peeks through her lashes. I’m beginning to notice a rosiness to her cheeks whenever she mentions Ghost. “You helped Julian in taking down the previous factory?”
I nod, then circle back. “What do you mean by the previous? There’s a new one?”
“Not long after you disappeared, Hades started a new one. It almost caused a war between Le Salon and President Joe, but Julian prevented it by giving President Joe a big share.”
The dread I’ve been trying to avoid crashes down on me. I wrap an arm around my belly, afraid something will happen to my baby due to this onslaught of emotions.
After everything I did and sacrificed, President Joe gets an even bigger share. He must be laughing and counting his profits.
Hot rage burns through my veins and my fists clench in the blanket. Helplessness gnaws at my heart. There’s nothing I can do to hurt him anymore. Not with a child growing inside me.
Or maybe I can do something before I start showing.
“We’re out of that world now.” A touch of sadness laces Elle’s words and her eyes rim with tears again. “Whatever happens there is none of our business.”
Not even close.
As long as I keep feeling this unextinguished fire inside me, I’m not sure I can ever be at peace.
The air in the lounge area is suffocating.
It’s been three weeks since Elle arrived. Liam followed the very next day. I didn’t know how to face him, but like Elle, he was glad I’m alive. At least at first. After that, he put on the big bro suit and gave me grief.
Elle and Liam haven’t left my side since. Mist comes over to check on us, too.
It’s a bit overwhelming, but I’ve been focusing more on the shelter rather than the disturbance in my new life.
Today, we have another visitor; Scar.
I’ve been barely getting used to Mist’s quick visits, but Scar? She’s loud and impulsive. I have no idea what she’s after. Only she seems like she truly cares about Elle.
Scar is trying to talk to her, but Liam is standing on the threshold like a guard from hell. His shoulders are squared and his legs stand width apart. He knows she’s a killer and that her entire entourage could shred him to pieces if she asks, but it isn’t stopping him from shooting daggers with his eyes.
Although Scar usually hides her dismay under layers of a cheerful façade, she seems unable to do so in Liam’s presence. If her glares were knives, he’d be cut open and bleeding to death now.
“Apparently, my presence here isn’t wanted, and I’m allergic to police.” Scar smiles at us. “See you, Ellie and Zoe! Unless you change your mind.”
I sigh in relief. Liam needs to stay here after all so Scar stops coming over. I get mini heart attacks whenever she or Mist show up. I always look behind them, expecting those magnetic, overcast eyes to bore into mine.
An odd mixture of relief and disappointment hits me every time he doesn’t show up.
After Scar leaves, Elle remains rooted in place. She’s tracing her bracelet, her go-to gesture when thinking or nervous. Then, as if a lightning bolt hit her, she jerks and runs to the entrance.
Liam grabs her arm and brings her to a screeching halt. “Where are you going? Don’t tell me you’re listening to whatever that crazy woman just said.”
“You’ve been the best big bro anyone can ask for, Liam, and you’re a brilliant man. You are. But there are good men on the other side of the law, too.” She grins. “And I’ve found mine.”
My heart warms. Look at my little sis admitting she’s in love. I never thought such a day would come.
“Go for it, Rage Ball!” I give her a quick hug.
“We still need to talk.” She points a finger at me and then she’s running out of the door.
After Elle leaves, Liam rubs the back of his neck. “They brainwashed her.”
“Maybe she needs that to be alive, Li.”
“She won’t be alive when she ends up being killed because of them.”
He can be right, but who am I to dictate Elle’s life? I’m lost in mine.
If anything, she seems like she has the hang of what she wants more than I do. I don’t know Ghost well, but he seems like the honest type. Besides, Elle can’t choose wrong. Not with her hot-headed, no-nonsense personality.
“Let’s go back, Zoe.” Liam’s index finger taps his thigh. “Then we can have that talk about why you disappeared on us.”
My lips lift in an awkward smile, and I’m sure he can see it, but I lie through my teeth anyway. “I’m a bit tired. I’ll head for an early night.”
“You can’t run away from this forever.”
I can try.
“We’ll talk.” I place a hand on his bicep, tiptoe and kiss his cheek. “Promise.”
Liam is still unconvinced, but he nods anyway.
I take the stairs, then stop at the first step. “I’m glad you’re here, Li.”
This time, he smiles. From all people, Liam understands how ugly it gets when I’m alone.
After I close the windows, I leave the nightstand light on and crawl into bed. My hand covers my stomach as my mind goes rampant with options of what I can do. I can tell Elle and Liam I’m pregnant — and risk being put on house arrest.
Or I can go after President Joe without their knowledge. Only, I can’t put them through that pain again.
Besides, what if my baby gets hurt?
Putting him or her at risk is out of the question.
My lids flutter closed. I’ll get my answers in the morning with gallons of coffee in my system.
Somewhere between wakefulness and sleep, a cold breeze comes from the window. Goosebumps erupt on my skin. I moan. Didn’t I close that thing?
No. I did close it.
My lids snap open to be greeted by those overcast eyes. A dark smirk lifts his lips.
“Gotcha, beautiful.”
Chapter Twenty
I don’t look at myself in the mirror. Whenever I did, a mimicking of a person greets me back.
However, for the past two months, I forced myself to loo
k in the mirror every day. The sight was as ugly as I predicted it would be. I smashed the mirror for the first week and contemplated stopping this masochistic thing altogether.
I didn’t.
I continued my glaring battle with the mirror because that’s the only way I’d know how my eyes looked like or if Omega was messing with my senses.
Somewhere in my gladiator fight against the mirror, I perceived the version Zoe saw whenever she looked into my eyes.
A hollow existence.
I wouldn’t look at me either if I were her. Heck, I still hate looking at myself and seeing that nothingness.
No wonder she left.
That doesn’t mean she can walk away from me.
I already decided she’s mine and there’s nothing in the world that will keep me away from what’s mine.
Obsession, yes. Possession, even more yes. I’m not trying to justify my fucked up fixation on her. Far from it. I want to devour her whole and I’m not the least bit apologetic about it.
After Flame found the footage and I watched the video of Ghost shooting Zoe, all I saw was red. I was ready to kill my own mate. And I almost did if he didn’t tell me the truth. He helped her stage her own death.
Zoe went through all that trouble to escape me.
Well, good fucking luck with that.
I crouch on the branch of the tree outside the villager’s house she stays in. York. Bloody fitting. Leave it to Ghost and Mist to send someone to the other half of the country.
They even registered the house under an alias I don’t know. They think themselves smart. It’s true that I’m unable to track them, but they forgot about Scar. Tracking her down is one of the easiest things to do. She rarely uses an untraceable phone.
Ghost and Mist should’ve thought about that psycho doll because I pounce on any chance I get.
I’m about to fidget like a fucking teenager as I wait for Zoe to appear. I’ve been searching for her like a maniac. I broke countless fighters’ noses in the underground matches and made Ghost bleed a few times.
It still isn’t enough.
If my fixation with Zoe is a mere obsession, then it would’ve ended by now.
Something has been gripping me by the gut since the day I met her and I’m not fighting anymore. Not even close.