by E. L. James
Her lips part as she surveys my torso, and I itch to touch her, but I'm loving her slow, sweet seduction.
We're doing it her way.
"Now what?" I murmur.
"I want to kiss you here." She runs a fingernail across my belly from hipbone to hipbone.
Fuck.
I tense everywhere as all the blood in my body heads south. "I'm not stopping you," I whisper.
Grabbing my hand, she instructs me to lie down.
With my pants on?
Okay.
I remove the covers on the bed and sit down, my eyes on Ana, waiting to see what she'll do next. She shrugs out of my denim jacket and lets it fall to the floor; my sweatpants follow, and it takes all my self-control not to grab her and toss her onto the bed.
Squaring her shoulders, her gaze fixed on mine, she grips the hem of my T-shirt and tugs it over her head, wiggling to get it free.
Naked before me, she's beautiful. "You are Aphrodite, Anastasia."
She cradles my face in her hands and stoops to kiss me, and I can resist her no more. When her lips touch mine, I reach for her hips and pull her onto the bed so that she's beneath me. As we kiss, I push her legs apart so I'm resting at the junction of her thighs: my favorite place. She kisses me back with a ferocity that fires my blood, her mouth voracious, her tongue wrestling with mine. She tastes of Armagnac and Ana. My hands are on her. With one, I cup her head and I trail the other up her body, kneading and squeezing as I go. Palming her breast, I tweak her nipple and marvel as it hardens between my fingers.
I need this. I crave this contact.
She groans and tilts her pelvis, compressing my hardening denim-clad cock.
Fuck.
I suck in my breath. And stop kissing her.
What are you doing?
She's panting, gazing up at me with a scorching, imploring expression.
She wants more.
I flex my hips, pushing my erection against her while watching her reaction. She closes her eyes and moans with carnal appreciation and tugs at my hair. I do it again, and this time she slides against me.
Whoa.
The feeling's exquisite.
Her teeth scrape my chin and she claims my lips and my tongue in a passionate wet kiss as she and I grind against each other, moving in perfect opposition, creating a sweet, sweet friction that is delicious torture. The heat builds and burns between us, concentrated at our point of connection. Her fingers grasp my arms as her breathing accelerates. Panting, she moves her hand to my lower back and into the waistband of my jeans, where she cups my ass and urges me on.
I'm going to come.
No.
"You're going to unman me, Ana." I kneel up and tug down my pants, freeing my erection, and grab a condom from my pocket. I hand it to Ana, who lies, breathless, on the bed.
"You want me, baby, and I sure as hell want you. You know what to do."
With greedy fingers she rips open the foil packet and unfurls the condom over my straining dick.
She's so keen. I grin at her when she lies back down.
Insatiable Ana.
I run my nose along hers and slowly, slowly sink into her, claiming her.
She's mine.
She grasps my arms and tilts her chin up, her mouth open in a wide o of pleasure. Gently, I slide into her again, my arms and hands on either side of her face.
"You make me forget everything. You are the best therapy." I ease out of her again, and ease back inside her.
"Please, Christian, faster." She pushes her pelvis up to meet me.
"Oh no, baby. I need this slow."
Please. Let's do this slowly.
I kiss her and tug her bottom lip. She twines her fingers in my hair and holds me and lets me continue at my slow, tender pace. On and on and on. She begins to build, her legs stiffening, and she throws her head back as she comes, taking me with her.
"Oh, Ana," I call, and her name is a prayer on my lips. That unfamiliar feeling is back, swelling in my chest, fighting to get out. And I know what it is. I've known forever. I want to tell her I love her.
But I can't.
The words burn to ashes in my throat.
I swallow and rest my head on her belly, my arms coiled around her. Her fingers tangle in my hair. "I will never get enough of you. Don't leave me." I kiss her belly.
"I'm not going anywhere, Christian, and I seem to remember that I wanted to kiss your belly," she says. And she sounds a little grumpy.
"Nothing stopping you now, baby."
"I don't think I can move. I'm so tired."
I stretch out beside her and pull the comforter over us. She looks radiant but exhausted.
Let her sleep, Grey.
"Sleep now, sweet Ana." I kiss her hair and hold her.
I never want to let her go.
I WAKE TO BRILLIANT sunshine filtering through the sheers that shroud the windows and Ana soundly asleep beside me. In spite of our late night I feel refreshed; I sleep well when I'm with her.
I climb out of bed, grab my jeans and my T-shirt, and drag them on. If I stay in bed, I know I'll wake her. She's too tempting to leave alone, and I know she needs sleep.
In the main room, I sit down at the escritoire and take my laptop out of the bag. My first job is to e-mail Dr. Greene. I ask her if she can come to the hotel to attend to Ana. She responds that the only time she can do is ten fifteen.
Great.
I confirm the time and then call Mac, who's the first mate on my yacht.
"Mr. Grey."
"Mac. I'd like to take The Grace out this afternoon."
"You'll have fine weather."
"Yes. I'd like to head out to Bainbridge Island."
"I'll get her ready, sir."
"Great. We'll see you at around lunchtime."
"We?"
"Yes, I'm bringing my girlfriend, Anastasia Steele."
There's a slight hesitation in Mac's voice before he says, "Look forward to it."
"Me, too."
I hang up, excited that I can show The Grace to Ana. I think she'll love sailing. She loved the soaring and the flight in Charlie Tango.
I call Taylor for an update, but his phone goes to voice mail. I hope he's getting some well-deserved sleep or having Ana's wrecked Audi removed from the garage as he promised. It reminds me that I need to replace her car. I wonder if Taylor has spoken to the Audi dealership. It's a Sunday, so maybe not.
My phone buzzes. It's a text from my mother.
GRACE
Darling, it was so lovely to see you and Anastasia last night.
As ever, thank you, and Ana, for your generosity.
Mom X
I'm still smarting over her gold-digger comments. It's obvious she doesn't know Ana well. But then, she's only met Ana three times. It was Elliot who was always bringing girls around...not me. Grace couldn't keep up.
"Elliot, darling, we get attached to them and then they're history. It's heartbreaking."
"Don't get attached." He shrugs, chewing with his mouth open. "I don't," he mutters so only I can hear him.
"One day someone will break your heart, Elliot," Grace says as she hands Mia a plate of mac and cheese.
"Whatever, Mom. At least I bring girls home." He eyes me with disdain.
"Lots of my friends want to marry Christian. Ask them," Mia pipes up in my defense.
Ugh. What an unpleasant thought--her poisonous little eighth-grade friends.
"Don't you have exams to study for, douchebag?" I give Elliot the finger.
"Study. Not me, dickless. I'm out tonight," he brags.
"Boys! Enough! This is your first night home from college. You haven't seen each other in ages. Stop arguing. Eat up."
I take a bite of mac and cheese. Tonight I get to see Mrs. Lincoln...
It's 9:40 so I order breakfast for Ana and me, knowing it will take at least twenty minutes. I turn back to my e-mails and decide to ignore my mother's text for now.
Room service arrives just a
Time to wake Ana.
She's still fast asleep. Her hair is a mess of mahogany on the pillow, her skin luminous in the light, and her face soft and sweet in repose. I lie down beside her and watch her, drinking in every detail. She blinks and opens her eyes.
"Hi."
"Hi." She tugs the comforter up to her chin as her cheeks turn rosy. "How long have you been watching me?"
"I could watch you sleep for hours, Anastasia. But I've only been here about five minutes." I kiss her temple. "Dr. Greene will be here shortly."
"Oh."
"Did you sleep well?" I ask. "Certainly seemed like it to me, with all that snoring."
"I do not snore!"
I put her out of her misery, grinning. "No. You don't."
"Did you shower?" she asks.
"No. Waiting for you."
"Oh. Okay."
"What time is it?"
"Ten fifteen. I didn't have the heart to wake you earlier."
"You told me you didn't have a heart at all."
That at least is true. But I ignore her comment.
"Breakfast is here. Pancakes and bacon for you. Come, get up, I'm getting lonely out here." I swat her behind, clamber off the bed, and leave her to get up.
In the dining room I remove the dishes from the cart and lay out the plates. I sit down and within moments my toast and scrambled eggs are history. I pour myself some coffee, wondering whether to hurry Ana along, but decide against it and open The Seattle Times.
She shuffles into the dining room wearing an oversized robe and sits down beside me.
"Eat up. You're going to need your strength today," I say.
"And why is that? You going to lock me in the bedroom?" she teases.
"Appealing as that idea is, I thought we'd go out today. Get some fresh air." I'm excited about The Grace.
"Is it safe?" she quips.
"Where we're going it is," I mutter, unamused by her comment. "And it's not a joking matter," I add.
I want to keep you safe, baby.
Her mouth sets in that stubborn way she has and she stares down at her breakfast.
Eat, Ana.
As if she can read my mind, she grabs her fork and starts picking at her breakfast, allowing me to relax a little.
A few minutes later there's a knock on the door. I glance at my watch.
"That'll be the good doctor," I say, and stroll to the door to answer it.
"Good morning, Dr. Greene, come in. Thank you for coming at such short notice."
"Again, Mr. Grey, thank you for making it worth my while. Where's the patient?" Dr. Greene is all business.
"She's having her breakfast and will be ready in a minute. Do you want to wait in the bedroom?"
"That'll be fine."
I show her into the master, and soon after Ana wanders in and gives me a disapproving look. I choose to ignore it and close the door, leaving her with Dr. Greene. She can be as annoyed as she likes, but she stopped taking her pills. And she knows I hate condoms.
My phone buzzes.
At last.
"Good morning, Taylor."
"Good morning, Mr. Grey. You called?"
"What news?"
"Sawyer has been through the CCTV footage from the garage and I can confirm it was Leila who vandalized the car."
"Shit."
"Quite, sir. I've updated Welch on the situation, and the Audi has been removed."
"Good. Have you checked the apartment CCTV?"
"We're doing that now, but we haven't found anything yet."
"We need to know how she got in."
"Yes, sir. She's not here now. We've done a thorough check, but I understand that until we're certain that she can't get in again you should stay away. I'm having all the locks changed. Even on the fire escape."
"The fire escape. I always forget about that."
"It's easily done, sir."
"I'm taking Ana to The Grace. We'll stay on board if we need to."
"I'd like to do a security check of The Grace before you get there," Taylor says.
"Okay. I can't imagine we'll be there before one."
"We can collect your luggage from the hotel after that."
"Great."
"And I've e-mailed Audi about a replacement vehicle."
"Okay. Let me know how that goes."
"Will do, sir."
"Oh, and Taylor, in the future, we only need a one-bedroom suite."
Taylor hesitates. "Very good, sir," he says. "Will that be all for now?"
"No, one more thing. When Gail returns, can you ask her to move all of Miss Steele's clothes and belongings into my room?"
"Certainly, sir."
"Thanks."
I hang up and sit back down at the dining table to finish the newspaper. I note with displeasure that Ana has hardly touched her breakfast.
Plus ca change, Grey. Plus ca change.
HALF AN HOUR LATER Ana and Dr. Greene emerge from the bedroom. Ana looks subdued. We exchange good-byes with the doctor and I close the suite door behind her.
"Everything okay?" I ask Ana as she stands, looking sullen, in the hallway. She nods but won't look at me. "Anastasia, what is it? What did Dr. Greene say?"
She shakes her head. "You're good to go in seven days."
"Seven days?"
"Yes."
"Ana, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing to worry about. Please, Christian, just leave it."
Normally I have no idea what she's thinking, but something is troubling her, and because it's troubling her, it's troubling me. Maybe Dr. Greene warned her away from me. I tilt her chin back so we're eye to eye. "Tell me," I persist.
"There's nothing to tell. I'd like to get dressed." She jerks her chin out of my hand.
Fuck. What's wrong?
I run my hands through my hair in an effort to remain calm.
Perhaps it's the Leila scare?
Or maybe the doctor gave her some bad news?
She gives nothing away.
"Let's shower," I suggest eventually. She agrees but is hardly enthusiastic. "Come." I take her hand and move into the bathroom with a reluctant Ana trailing behind me. I turn on the shower and strip out of my clothes while she stands in the middle of the bathroom sulking.
Ana, what the hell is wrong?
"I don't know what's upset you, or if you're just bad-tempered through lack of sleep," I say quietly as I unfasten her robe. "But I want you to tell me. My imagination is running away with me, and I don't like it."
She rolls her eyes, but before I can rebuke her she says, "Dr. Greene scolded me about missing the pill. She said I could be pregnant."
"What?"
Pregnant!
And I'm free-falling. Fuck.
"But I'm not," she says. "She did a test. It was a shock, that's all. I can't believe I was that stupid."
Oh, thank God.
"You're sure you're not?"
"Yes."
I exhale. "Good. Yes, I can see that news like that would be very upsetting."
"I was more worried about your reaction."
"My reaction? Well, naturally, I'm relieved. It would be the height of carelessness and bad manners to knock you up."
"Then maybe we should abstain," she snaps.
What the hell?
"You are in a bad temper this morning."
"It was just a shock, that's all," she says, sullen again.
I haul her into my embrace. She's tense and stiff with indignation. I kiss her hair and hold her. "Ana, I'm not used to this," I whisper. "My natural inclination is to beat it out of you, but I seriously doubt you want that."
She could cry it out if I did. In my experience, women feel better after a good cry.
"No, I don't," she responds. "This helps." And she puts her arms around me and hugs me tighter, her warm cheek against my chest. I rest my chin on the top of her head. We stand like this for an age and slowly she relaxes in my arms.
"Come, let's shower." I strip her out of her robe and she follows me into the hot water. It's welcome. I've felt grimy all morning. I shampoo my hair and hand the bottle to Ana. She looks happier now, and I'm glad the showerhead is big enough for both of us. She surrenders herself to the water, tipping up her lovely face, and begins to wash her hair.
I take the body wash, lather up my hands, then begin washing Ana. Her earlier bad mood has rattled me. I feel responsible. She's tired and she had a trying evening. As she rinses her hair, I massage and wash her shoulders, arms, underarms, back, and her beautiful breasts. Turning her around, I continue with her stomach and belly, between her legs, and her ass. She makes a noise of approval deep in her throat.
My smile is broad.
That's better.
I turn her to face me. "Here." I give her the body wash. "I want you to wash off the remains of the lipstick."
Her eyes flicker open and her expression is serious and earnest.
"Don't stray far from the line, please," I add.
"Okay."
She squeezes soap onto her palm and rubs her hands together to make a frothy lather. Placing her hands on my shoulders, she begins to wash away the line with a gentle circular motion. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
Can I do this?
My breathing shallows, and panic wells in my throat. She continues down my side, her nimble fingers tenderly administering to me. But it's unbearable. Like tiny razor blades on my skin. Every muscle in my body is tense. I stand like a hollow bronze, counting the seconds until she's finished.
It's taking an eternity.
My teeth are clenched.
Suddenly her hands are no longer on my body and that alarms me more. I open my eyes and she's soaping her hands again. She glances up at me and I see my pain reflected in her eyes and on her sweet, anxious face. And I know it's not pity but compassion. My agony is her agony.
Oh Ana.
"Ready?" she asks, her voice hoarse.
"Yes," I whisper, determined not to let the fear win, and I close my eyes.
She touches my side and I freeze, as fear fills my gut, my chest, and my throat, leaving nothing but the darkness. It's a gaping, aching void that consumes me, all of me.
Ana sniffles and I open my eyes.
She's crying, her tears lost in the cascade of hot water, her nose pink. Her compassion is spilling down her face--her compassion and her anger as she washes away my sins.
No. Don't cry, Ana.
I'm just a fucked-up man.
Her lip trembles.
"No. Please, don't cry." I fold her into my arms and hold her. "Please don't cry for me."
She starts sobbing. Really sobbing. And I cradle her head in my hands and lean down to kiss her. "Don't cry, Ana, please," I whisper against her mouth. "It was long ago. I am aching for you to touch me, but I just can't bear it. It's too much. Please, please don't cry."
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