by E. L. James
What does this mean?
"Do rude things to you?" I ask. She nods and swallows. She's nervous, and deep down I know where this is going. She's talking about the playroom.
Are you ready for this, Grey?
I rip open the tissue that conceals the box's contents and retrieve an eye mask. Okay, she wants to be blindfolded. Next are some nipple clamps. Oh, not these. They're vicious. Not beginner level. Beneath the clamps is a butt plug, but this one is way too big. She's enclosed my iPod, too, which pleases me. She must like my music choices. And here's my silver gray Brioni tie, so she wants to be tied up.
Last, as I suspected, there's the key to my playroom.
She's giving me the big blue eyes. "You want to play?" I ask, my voice soft and husky.
"Yes."
"For my birthday?"
"Yes." Her agreement is barely audible.
Is she doing this because she thinks I want to? Is what we do not enough for her? Am I ready for this?
"You're sure?" I prompt.
"Not the whips and stuff."
"I understand that."
"Yes, then. I'm sure."
She confounds me. Every day. I stare down at the contents of the box. Sometimes she's just bewildering. "Sex-mad and insatiable," I mutter. "Well, I think we can do something with this lot."
If this is what she wants--and her words come back to me in a swirl. She's asked me and asked me and asked me.
I like your kinky fuckery.
If I win, Christian, you'll take me back into the playroom.
Red Room, here we come.
I want a demonstration. I like being tied up.
I place the items back in the box.
We could have some fun.
And that spark of anticipation flares and ignites in my gut. I haven't felt it since we did our last scene in the playroom. I regard her through narrowed eyes and hold out my hand. "Now," I state. I'll see how willing she really is.
She puts her hand in mine.
Okay, then, we're doing this.
"Come." I have a million things to do since yesterday's crash landing, but I don't give a fuck. It's my birthday and I'm going to have some fun with my fiancee.
Outside the playroom, I pause. "You're sure about this?"
"Yes," she says.
"Anything you don't want to do?"
She's thoughtful for a moment. "I don't want you to take photos of me."
Why the hell would she say that? Why would I want to take pictures of her?
Grey. Of course you would, if she'd let you.
"Okay," I agree, concerned about what has motivated this question. Does she know? That's impossible.
I unlock the door, feeling apprehensive and excited at once--like the first time I brought her in here. I usher her in and close the door.
For the first time since she left me, the room is welcoming.
I can do this.
Placing the gift box on the chest of drawers, I remove the iPod, place it in its dock, and set the Bose sound system so the track plays over the speakers. Eurythmics. Yes. This song came out the year before I was born. It has a seductive beat. I love it. Yeah, I think Ana will like it. Setting it to repeat, I hear the track begin. It's a little loud so I lower the volume a tad.
When I turn to her, she's in the middle of the room, watching me, a hungry, wanton expression on her face. Her teeth are toying with her lower lip, and her hips are swinging in time to the beat of the music.
Oh, Ana, you sensual creature.
I amble over to her and gently tug her chin, releasing her lip. "What do you want to do, Anastasia?" I whisper, and plant a chaste kiss at the corner of her mouth, keeping my fingers on her chin.
"It's your birthday. Whatever you want," she breathes and her darkening eyes flick up to mine, full of promise.
Fuck.
She might as well be addressing my cock.
I skim my thumb across her bottom lip. "Are we in here because you think I want to be in here?"
"No. I want to be in here, too."
She is a siren.
My siren.
In that case, let's begin with the basics. "Oh, there are so many possibilities, Miss Steele. But let's start with getting you naked." I jerk the sash of her robe, undoing it, and it falls open revealing her silk nightdress.
I step back, and sit down on the arm of my chesterfield sofa. "Take your clothes off. Slowly."
Miss Steele loves a challenge.
She slips the robe off and lets it fall like a cloud onto the floor, while her eyes stay on me. I'm hard. Instantly, as desire sweeps through my body. I run my finger over my lips to keep my hands off her.
She lifts both straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, watching me, watching her, and then drops them so her gown floats down her body to join the robe on the floor. She is naked before me in all her glory.
It makes a difference, her eyes on me.
It's more exciting because I can't hide anymore.
I have an idea, and stroll over to the chest of drawers to retrieve my tie from her gift box. Running it through my fingers, I walk back to where she's patiently waiting. "I think you're underdressed, Miss Steele." I place it around her neck and quickly tie it in a half Windsor, but I leave the wider end long. My fingers brush her neck and she gasps, and I let the long end fall so that it skims the top of her pubic hair. "You look mighty fine now, Miss Steele." I give her a swift kiss. "What shall we do with you now?" I murmur. Taking the tie in my hand, I tug it sharply and she's forced into my arms. Her naked body against mine is like an incendiary device. My fingers are in her hair. My mouth is on hers and with my tongue I claim her.
Hard. Insistent. I'm taking no prisoners.
She tastes of sweet Anastasia Steele. My favorite flavor.
With my other hand, I cup her behind, feeling her fine ass.
When I release her, we're both panting. Her breasts rising and falling with each breath.
Oh, baby. What you do to me.
What I want to do to you.
"Turn around," I prompt. She does so immediately, and I pull the tie from her hair and braid it. No loose hair in the playroom.
I gently pull her braid, and her head tilts up. "You have beautiful hair, Anastasia." I kiss her throat and she writhes. "You just have to say stop. You know that, don't you?" I whisper against her skin.
She nods, her eyes closed.
But damn, she looks happy.
I turn her around and take hold of the end of the tie.
"Come." I lead her over to the chest where her gift box sits, displaying its contents. "Anastasia, these objects." I hold up the butt plug. "This is a size too big. As an anal virgin, you don't want to start with this. We want to start with this." I show her my pinkie.
Her eyes grow impossibly large.
And I have to confess, one of my favorite pastimes is shocking Ana.
"Just finger. Singular," I add. "These clamps are vicious." I poke the nipple clamps. "We'll use these." From one of the drawers I take out a kinder pair. "They're adjustable."
She examines them. Fascinated. I love how she's so curious. "Clear?" I ask.
"Yes. Are you going to tell me what you intend to do?"
"No. I'm making this up as I go along. This isn't a scene, Ana."
"How should I behave?"
It's a strange question. "However you want to." And I wonder out loud if she was expecting my alter ego.
"Well, yes. I like him," she says.
"Do you, now?" I run my thumb across her lower lip, tempted to kiss it again. "I'm your lover, Anastasia, not your Dom. I love to hear your laugh and your girlish giggle. I like you relaxed and happy, like you are in Jose's photos. That's the girl that fell into my office. That's the girl I fell in love with.
"But, having said all that, I also like to do rude things to you, Miss Steele, and my alter ego knows a trick or two. So do as you're told and turn around."
She obeys, her face glowing with excitement.
/> I love you, Ana.
Simple.
I take what I need from the drawers, then arrange all the toys on the top. "Come." I tug the tie and lead her to the table. "I want you to kneel up on this." Gently I lift her onto the table, and she folds her legs beneath her and kneels in front of me.
We are nose to nose. She stares at me with shining eyes.
I run my hands down her thighs and at the knees gently pull her legs apart so that I can see my goal.
"Arms behind your back. I'm going to cuff you."
I show her the leather elbow cuffs and lean around her to put them on. She turns and runs her parted lips along my jaw, her tongue teasing my stubble. I close my eyes and for a moment revel in the contact, suppressing a groan.
Pulling back, I admonish her, "Stop. Or this will be over far quicker than either of us wants."
"You're irresistible."
"Am I, now?"
She nods, looking impertinent.
"Well, don't distract me, or I'll gag you."
"I like distracting you."
"Or spank you," I warn. She grins. "Behave," I scold her, and stand back and beat the cuffs across my palm.
It could so easily be your ass, Ana.
She looks modestly down at her knees. "That's better." I try again, and this time succeed in putting them on. I ignore her running her nose over my shoulder, but I thank God for our shower in the early hours of the morning.
The cuffs on, her back arches a little. Her breasts now prominent and begging to be touched. "Feel okay?" I ask as I admire her.
She nods.
"Good." From my back pocket I take the mask. "I think you've seen enough now." I slide it over her head and over her eyes.
Her breathing accelerates.
And I step back and drink her in.
She looks smoking hot.
Back at the drawers, I gather the items I need and slip off my T-shirt. I keep my jeans on, even though they are a little uncomfortable, because I don't want her distracted by my impatient dick.
In front of her once more, I open the small glass bottle that contains my favorite massage oil and wave it under her nose. Infused with cedarwood, argan, and sage, it's body-safe, and its fragrance reminds me of a crisp, fall day after the rain.
"I don't want to ruin my favorite tie," I mutter, as I undo it and pull it gently off Ana's body. She squirms as the material floats up her body, teasing her.
I fold my tie and place it beside her. Her anticipation is almost palpable. Her body is humming with impatience. It's arousing.
I pour a little oil on my hands and rub them together, warming the oil. She's listening to what I'm doing. I love heightening her senses. Gently, I caress her cheek with my knuckles and run them down her jaw.
She startles when I touch her, but she leans into my hand. I start massaging the oil into her skin--her throat, her clavicle, and along her shoulders. I knead the muscles beneath and let my hands glide in small circles across her chest, avoiding her breasts. She bows backward, pressing them toward me.
Oh no, Ana. Not yet.
I move my fingers down her sides, rubbing in the oil in slow, measured strokes in time to the music. She groans and I don't know if it's from pleasure or frustration. Maybe a little of both.
"You are so beautiful, Ana," I whisper, my lips close to her ear. I run them along her jaw as my hands work their magic. I move them beneath her breasts, over her belly, down to my goal. I kiss her quickly and inhale her scent, now mixed with the oil, down her neck and throat.
"And soon you'll be my wife, to have and to hold."
She inhales sharply.
"To love and to cherish." My hands continue. "With my body, I will worship you."
She throws her head back and moans as my fingers run through her pubic hair to her clitoris. Slowly I palm her, teasing her and spreading oil over her where she's wet already.
It's intoxicating.
I lean over to pick up a bullet vibrator. "Mrs. Grey."
She moans.
"Yes," I whisper, continuing my ministrations with my hand. "Open your mouth." She's already panting, but she opens her mouth farther and I slip the small vibrator inside. It's attached to a chain and can be worn as jewelry if so required. "Suck. I'm going to put this inside you."
She stills.
"Suck," I repeat, and remove my hands from her body.
She flexes her knees and makes a frustrated grunt. Smiling, I pour more oil onto my palms and finally cup her breasts. "Don't stop," I warn, as I gently roll her stiffening nipples between my thumbs and forefingers. They harden and lengthen some more under my touch. "You have such beautiful breasts, Ana."
She moans, and I gather one of the nipple clamps in one hand. Trailing my lips from her throat toward her breast, I stop and carefully attach a clamp.
Her garbled groan is my reward as I bring her trapped nipple to full attention with my lips. She writhes under my touch, shifting from side to side, and I clamp the remaining nipple. Ana's groan is just as loud this time. "Feel it," I insist, and I lean back to take in the beautiful sight.
"Give me this." I remove the vibrator from her mouth and my hand skims down her back toward her backside and between her buttocks. She tenses and rises up on her knees. "Hush, easy," I reassure her and kiss her neck as my fingers continue to stroke between the fine, fine cheeks of her ass.
I glide my other hand down the front of her body and start palming her clitoris once more, then ease my fingers into her. "I'm going to put this inside you," I murmur. "Not here." And my fingers circle her anus, spreading the oil. "But here." And I move the fingers of my other hand slowly into and out of her vagina.
"Ah!" she responds.
"Hush now." I stand and slide the vibrator inside her. Capturing her face with my hands, I kiss her, then click the small remote.
When the vibrator starts, she gasps and jolts up on her knees. "Ah!"
"Easy," I whisper against her lips, stifling her gasp. I tug gently on each of the clamps in turn.
She cries out. "Christian, please!"
"Hush, baby. Hang in there."
You can do this, Ana.
She's panting now and dealing with all the stimulation. I'm sure it's intense. "Good girl." I soothe her.
"Christian," she says, and she sounds a little frantic.
"Hush, feel it, Ana. Don't be afraid." I place my hands on her waist, holding her. I'm right here, baby. I've got this. You've got this.
I dip my little finger into the open pot of lube and slowly I move my hands down her back to her ass, watching her reaction; checking that she's okay. I massage her skin and knead her ass, her stunning ass, and I slip one hand between her buttocks.
"So beautiful." Gently, I push my finger inside her ass so that I feel the vibrator buzzing through her body. She tenses and I move my finger slowly, easing in and out while my teeth graze her chin. "So beautiful, Ana."
She gasps, then groans and kneels up a little higher, and I know she's close. Her lips start to move, but whatever she's saying, it's soundless. Suddenly she screams as her orgasm strikes. With my free hand I release first one, then the other nipple clamp, and she cries out.
I hold her close as her body pulses through her climax, still easing my finger in and out of her.
"No," she shouts, and I know she's had enough.
I remove my finger and the vibrator while keeping her in my arms. She sags against me, but her body is still convulsing. Deftly I unstrap the cuffs on one arm and she falls forward against me. Her head rolling on my shoulder as her intense climax begins to subside.
Her legs must be aching. She groans as I lift her and carry her to the bed, where I lay her faceup on the satin sheets. Using the remote, I switch off the music, then remove my jeans, freeing my raging erection. I start to rub the back of her legs, her knees, her calves, and then her shoulders, and I remove the cuffs. Lying down beside her, I peel off her mask and find her eyes are scrunched closed. With tenderness I untie her braid, free
ing her hair. Leaning forward, I kiss her on the lips. "So beautiful," I say.
She opens one dazed eye.
"Hi." I smile down at her.
She grunts in response.
"Rude enough for you?"
She nods and gives me a sleepy grin.
Ana, you never fail.
"I think you're trying to kill me."
"Death by orgasm. There are worse ways to go."
Like plunging to your death in Charlie Tango.
She reaches up and caresses my face and my dispiriting thought disappears. "You can kill me like this anytime," she says. Taking her hand, I kiss her knuckles. I'm so proud of her. She never lets me down in here. She cups my face between her hands and kisses me.
I stop, pulling back. "This is what I want to do," I whisper. From beneath the pillow, I pull out the remote and change the song. I press the button, knowing it will play on repeat, and ease Ana onto her back. "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"--Roberta Flack's classic fills the room. "I want to make love to you," I murmur. My lips seek and find hers, and her fingers entwine in my hair.
"Please," Ana breathes, and her sensitized body rises to meet mine, opening up for me as I gently ease into her, and we make slow, sweet love.
I watch her fall apart in my arms and her climax takes me with her. I let go, pouring myself into her, throwing my head back and calling out her name in wonder.
I love you, Ana Steele.
I hold her to me. I never want to let her go.
My joy is complete. Have I ever been this happy?
As I come back to planet earth, I smooth her hair from her face and look down at the woman I love.
She's crying.
"Hey." I clasp her head in my hands. Did I hurt her? "Why are you crying?"
"Because I love you so much," she says, and I close my eyes, letting her words wash over me.
"And I you, Ana. You make me...whole." I kiss her once more as the music stops, and gather the sheet and wrap it around us both. She looks glorious; her hair is a mess and her eyes are luminous in spite of her tears. She's so full of life.
"What do you want to do today?" she asks.
"My day is made, thank you." I kiss her.
"Mine, too."
I love Ana's inner freak; she's never far away. And I think of the plans that I have for her later. I hope they will make her day, too. "Well, I should call my head of PR. But frankly, I'd like to remain in this bubble with you."
"About the crash?"
"I'm playing hooky."
"It is your birthday, Mr. Grey. You're allowed. And I like having you to myself." She leans up and grazes her teeth against my jaw. She looks happy, and free, if a little tired. "I love your music choices. Where do you find them?"