Help Me, Hold Me

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Help Me, Hold Me Page 30

by Barbara Gee


  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  He stood, drawing her up with him and wrapping his arms tightly around her shoulders. She relaxed into him, so glad he was there.

  “I hate that you’re hurting, Callie. I can’t take it away but I’ll do everything I can to help you through it.”

  She looped her arms around his waist and held on. “You’ve already helped more than you know. I have the memory of how happy he was riding Apollo last Sunday. I’m so grateful for that. That’s going to be one of my best memories of these last few months, and it wouldn’t have happened without you.”

  “I’m glad it worked out the way it did.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m staying here tonight, by the way. I want to be here with you in case he gets worse.”

  She hugged him tighter. “You’re the best and I’m not even going to pretend to protest. I hope someday I’ll get the chance to tell your parents what a great son they have.”

  “I hope you do, too,” he said with a chuckle. “I can use all the reinforcement I can get with them.”

  She looked up at him and frowned. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Mostly.”

  “Tell me more. I could use a distraction right now.”

  He rubbed his hands up and down her back. “The three of us are at a good place now, but I sometimes feel like I still have some making up to do for the years right after I signed my first NHL contract. I got a big head and made some poor decisions, and when they called me on it, I got mad and didn’t talk to them for almost two years. I came to my senses eventually, but I still regret acting like I did. It hurt them so much.”

  “I’m sure they’ve forgiven you.”

  “Well, they come and go from my place in Minneapolis like they own it now, so I think it’s safe to say the hard feelings and awkwardness are in the past.”

  “Where do they live?”

  “They’re still in the same house I grew up in, in western Michigan. During the season, they come stay at my place for weeks at a time, though.” He grinned. “Which is fine with me. Mom’s a good cook and she enjoys cleaning and doing laundry.”

  “Taking care of her baby boy,” Callie teased. She could only imagine how proud of him they must be.

  “Something like that,” he agreed.

  “I’m glad you’re close again.”

  “Yeah. Me too. Really glad.”

  She pressed her face against his shoulder, inhaling the scent of soap, clean cotton, and man. “I’m also glad you’re staying tonight,” she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. “But I don’t have any pajamas your size.”

  “I packed a bag. It’s out in the car.”

  “Ah. You were thinking ahead.”

  “I had a feeling he wasn’t doing well. It was nice of you to insist I play in the tournament, but I could tell something was wrong.”

  Callie smiled, because she’d thought she’d been so convincing. “I’ll make up a bed for you in a room upstairs. I’m planning to sleep on the sofa tonight, so Leslie can easily get me if she needs to.”

  “Nah, you’re already way behind in your sleep, and staying on the sofa won’t help. You sleep in your bed, and I’ll take the sofa. Leslie can come to me if she needs to, then I’ll come get you.”

  Callie gave him one more squeeze, then stepped back and looked up at him. “You’re sweet, but that sofa isn’t nearly long enough for you.”

  “Trust me, I can sleep anywhere. It’ll be fine.”

  She didn’t tell him she’d alternated between the sofa and a recliner in Jeremiah’s room the last four nights. The opportunity to be in her own bed, knowing she could actually let her guard down and sleep because Leslie was with Jeremiah, was too good to turn down.

  She gave him a guilty smile. “I feel like I should fight harder, but I have to admit, my bed sounds like absolute heaven right now.”

  He tilted his head and gave her a speculative glance. “Has it been a while?”

  “I’m fine,” she said vaguely, “but if you’re sure about staying down here, I think I’m going to go ahead and turn in. I think I’ll actually be able to sleep, too, knowing you’ll get me if needed.”

  “I will get you, I promise.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. “You’ll feel better tomorrow. Everything seems worse when you’re dead on your feet.”

  “Promise me you’ll try to sleep too.”

  “I will. I’ll let Leslie know what’s up, then I’ll settle in.”

  Callie took his hand and led him to the living room. “I have blankets and a pillow right here,” she said, taking them up from the corner chair where she’d stacked them that morning when she got up. “You can use the half bath down the hall, or come up and use the bathroom across from my room if you want a shower. Towels are in the closet beside the door.”

  “Got it. Go to bed, baby. Try to turn off your mind and just rest.”

  “I will. Leslie gave Grandpa more pain medication, so maybe he’ll sleep through the night. Which means we’ll sleep through, too.” Callie looked up and met Vince’s steady gaze. She was so glad he was there. So glad. “Vince, I can never thank you enough—”

  He shook his head and put a finger against her lips. “No thanks necessary, Callie. I’m right where I want to be.”

  She swallowed, her heart full. She was pretty sure she was in love with this man…..but she couldn’t think any deeper about that now. Not with everything else swimming around in her head.

  “Okay, well, I guess I’ll just say goodnight then.”

  “Goodnight, Callie. Hopefully I won’t see you till morning.”

  “Yeah. Hopefully.” She rose up on her toes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll leave my door open just in case. Goodnight.”

  CHAPTER 25

  Doctor Halliday packed up his bag and snapped it closed. Callie watched as Jeremiah closed his eyes, then she shifted her gaze to his IV line, watching the drip, drip, drip of the fluid and pain medication. The doctor cleared his throat softly to get her attention, then tipped his head toward the door. She nodded and went out into the hall, waiting while he said goodbye to Jeremiah, who barely opened his eyes in acknowledgment.

  “Is it the pain medication that’s making him so groggy?” she asked quietly as soon as the doctor joined her. “Leslie said he slept all night, and usually when he gets that much sleep, he’s a lot more alert in the morning.”

  “The medication is most likely what’s causing it. I had to prescribe a pretty high dose.”

  Callie motioned for him to follow her to the kitchen, where she found Vince making breakfast. Eggs and bacon, from the smell of it.

  The doctor pulled out a chair at the table and Callie joined him there, dreading what he was going to say. She couldn’t bring herself to ask, so she just waited, her heart pounding too hard and her throat feeling thick.

  The doctor gave her a sad smile. “I think you know what I’m going to say. You know it’s not good.”

  She did know, but hearing him confirm it was devastating all over again. In spite of everything, she’d hoped maybe he’d come up with an idea that could help buy them more time.

  She swallowed and forced the words out. “There’s nothing we can do?”

  His eyes were kind. Callie knew he’d probably had this same talk with a hundred families over the years, yet he still cared, and she admired him for it.

  “Other than try to make him as comfortable as possible, no, Callie, there’s nothing else we can do for him.”

  “But—” she broke off and rubbed at her temples. “It feels like we’re giving up too easily. If I could talk him into going to the hospital—”

  He shook his head. “Don’t go there, Callie. It’s not what he wants and you know that. I’ve heard it more times than I can count over the past few months, and you’ve probably heard it even more.”

  “But could they help him there?” She felt like she had to know, even if it wasn’t an option.

&nb
sp; “No, Callie, it wouldn’t make any difference. It’s just a matter of pain control now, and we can do that just as well here.”

  She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms across her stomach. “What about eating? How do I get him to eat?”

  “You don’t.” The man shifted in his chair and leaned forward, bringing those kind eyes closer so she had to face him—and also face what he was saying. “Callie, the way he is this morning is pretty much the way he’s going to stay.”

  “You mean drugged?” Callie bit her lip, realizing suddenly if that was the case, she would likely never have another real conversation with him.

  “It’s the only way to control his pain. He won’t even realize he’s not eating.”

  “He can’t drink either?”

  “He might be able to drink a little bit on his own, but we’ll keep the IV going.”

  “But if he doesn’t eat—” Callie hunched her shoulders and dipped her head. “Basically we are just giving up.”

  “I don’t see it like that,” Doctor Halliday said gently. “I know you weren’t expecting things to take a turn for the worse this quickly, but it’s not unusual, and accepting where we’re at isn’t giving up.”

  A familiar pair of hands settled on her shoulders, and Callie reached up and grabbed one, holding it against her cheek. “I didn’t mean to sound like I’m questioning your judgment, Doctor Halliday. I just needed to know for sure there’s nothing more we could be doing.”

  “I understand, my dear.”

  They all turned when someone knocked on the door.

  “I’ll get it,” Vince said.

  “Oh, it’s the day shift nurse,” Callie said, seeing her through the window. Tamara had also taken a shift with Jeremiah earlier in the week, when Callie was over at the retreat center. She was a cute, bubbly gal, in her late twenties Callie would guess. She’d been sweet to Jeremiah, and very capable.

  Callie stood as she walked in. “Hi, Tamara.”

  The nurse barely spared her a glance. Her wide eyes were fixed on Vince, a stunned smile on her face.

  “You’re the hockey player,” she breathed. “I heard you were around.”

  Vince nodded and looked a little uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah, I’ve been volunteering over at the retreat center.”

  “Yeah, one of my friends volunteered at the concession stand at the tournament last night. She sent me pictures and said you’re an amazing skater.” Tamara all but batted her lashes. “I might have to start watching hockey now that we have two players with connections here.”

  Callie watched the exchange, surprised the girl hadn’t thought to find out why Vince might be there before she flirted so blatantly.

  Doctor Halliday stood and grabbed his bag, urging them to call if they had any questions. Callie thanked him once again for taking the time for a house call, and he left after promising to check in tomorrow morning to see how things were going.

  “Leslie’s been with Grandpa all night,” Callie told Tamara after closing the door behind Doctor Halliday. “I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”

  “I’m happy to relieve her,” Tamara said, still sneaking glances at Vince. “I enjoyed staying with Mr. Green the other day.”

  “I’m afraid he’s gotten quite a bit worse since you were here,” Callie told her. “He’s getting some strong pain medication through his IV and he’s not very responsive. I’ll take you back and Leslie can let you know what to do.”

  “I’ll keep your breakfast warm, Callie,” Vince said, drawing a curious look from Tamara.

  Callie gave him a grateful look. “Thanks. I’ll be right back.”

  She could tell the other girl wanted to ask about him, but she seemed to have recovered her professionalism, and held back. When they got to Jeremiah’s bedroom, Leslie came out and the two nurses went over the notes Leslie had made during the night.

  Callie went and sat beside her grandpa. He was still sleeping, so she just held his hand until Leslie left to go home and Tamara came in.

  “He’s been sleeping all morning,” Callie said. “You played cards with him when you were here before, didn’t you? He told me he enjoyed that.”

  Tamara laughed softly. “He beat me so bad at Rummy on Tuesday. I’m sorry he’s had a rough few days.”

  “Me too,” Callie said on a sigh. She stood and carefully placed his hand back on the blanket. “I’ll be around all day today. I might run out to the barn for a little bit later on, but I won’t be gone long. And I’ll have my phone with me.”

  “Okay. I’ll stay right here beside him. I have my knitting and some books to keep me busy.”

  “Sounds good,” Callie replied. “There are drinks and snacks in the kitchen. Help yourself any time.”

  “Thanks, I might do that.”

  Callie nodded, gave Jeremiah one last longing look, then left the room. When she got back to the kitchen, Vince efficiently plated scrambled eggs and bacon, poured coffee and orange juice, then they sat to eat.

  They didn’t talk much, but he was there. He was with her. It was enough.

  ***

  “So, what are your plans for the day?” Vince asked as he put away the skillet he’d used for the bacon. He was worried about her, but he tried not to show it. He knew she wouldn’t want him to make a fuss.

  “I’ll head out to the barn to talk to Quinn once he gets here, then I’ll probably try to track down Lance and Sam and give them an update on Grandpa. And see if they need anything.” She walked over and leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I hereby release you to go back to the retreat center to take up your duties. Thank you for staying last night, and if you want to come back again this evening, I won’t say no.”

  He grinned and rubbed his big, warm hands over her back. “I don’t have to be at the ranch today. It’s send-off day for all the families, and Boone said they’ve got it covered. I do have a couple of errands to run, though. I’ll stay and go to the barn with you, then head out for a couple hours. If you need me to pick up anything, make a list.”

  “Just bring back yourself,” she mumbled against his chest. “That’s the only thing I need.”

  He cupped her head and tilted her face up to his. Even the shadows under her eyes couldn’t dim her natural beauty. “You okay, baby?” he asked gently. “Did you get any sleep?”

  “I slept pretty well, actually. I feel better than I have for a while.” She looked at him sadly. “I wish I could say the same for Grandpa. I don’t like seeing him drugged up, and I want to talk to him again. There are a lot of things I still need to tell him and I didn’t do it when I had the chance yesterday. I was too shocked to hear him say he was tired of fighting and wanted to go.”

  Vince wished for the hundredth time he could take her pain away. “I know it was hard on you yesterday when he told you that, but some day you’re going to be glad you actually heard him say it. To know he was at peace.”

  She frowned as she thought about that, then nodded slowly. “I’ve been upset because that might be the last conversation I ever have with him, but if I look at it that way, I guess it’s not so bad.” She smiled and rested her cheek against his chest. “Thanks for that. Now if you could give me some guidance on how to tell Quinn his mentor won’t be giving him any more advice, I’d appreciate it.”

  Vince was facing the window and he saw Quinn’s red pickup drive by as Callie spoke.

  “He just pulled in,” he told her. “Come on. I’ll help you figure it out.”

  ***

  Half an hour later, after a tough conversation with Quinn, Vince left Callie settled in behind her computer and drove toward Barlow. He had two stops to make. One, to finalize the purchase of the pickup truck he’d ordered the week before—so he wouldn’t have to keep commandeering a retreat center vehicle, and two, to see whether Jeremiah’s attorney would talk to him about the journal and the private investigator.

  The truck part was easy. He signed the paperwork, handed over the money, and got the k
eys. The dealer was even fine with him leaving it on the lot until he could get a ride to pick it up.

  After that was finished, Vince drove to the attorney’s office. He’d looked it up online that morning and found the address, which was a block off Main Street.

  It hadn’t been at all hard to find the office, but getting in to see Gary Denton wasn’t quite as easy. When Vince entered the small lobby, he was informed by the very prim and unsmiling elderly receptionist that Gary was meeting with a client. Vince politely told her he’d wait, which earned him a scowl and a reluctant wave toward the row of four chairs by the front window.

  Ten minutes later a man walked through the lobby and out the door. Vince figured he’d be called back to see Gary soon after that, but another fifteen minutes passed. When he finally approached the receptionist to see if she could give him a time estimate, he was told Gary was on the phone and when he got off, she’d let him know that a walk-in was waiting. The way she said walk-in made it sound like a bad word, confirming Vince’s suspicion that she was punishing him for being so brazen as to show up without an appointment.

  Another ten minutes passed before she picked up the phone, spoke into it quietly, then graced him with a tight smile.

  “Mr. Denton will be with you in a moment.”

  Three minutes later, a forty-something man in gray slacks and a black blazer walked into the lobby from the adjoining hallway.

  “Hello, I’m Gary Denton. What can I help you with today?”

  Vince stood and stuck out his hand. “Vince Abbot. I’m a friend of Jeremiah and Callie Green. I’m sorry to say Jeremiah isn’t doing well, and he asked me to come talk to you about a few things.” Vince didn’t give any details, because he wasn’t sure whether Gary made his receptionist privy to his clients’ issues.

  “Jeremiah sent you?” The man’s eyebrows shot toward his hairline, then he gave the woman at the desk a hard glare. “How long has Mr. Abbot been waiting, Carol?”

  The woman shrugged and looked a bit chagrined. “Er, maybe fifteen minutes?”

  Vince didn’t correct her, and she gave him a grateful look. “I’ll go get some coffee,” she said, standing up and hurrying off.

 

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