Help Me, Hold Me

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Help Me, Hold Me Page 33

by Barbara Gee


  He wanted to insist on staying with her, but didn’t want to cause her any more stress. “You promise to come get me if anything changes?”

  “I promise.” She pushed away from him and took his hand, leading him through the living room and stopping at the base of the stairs. “I can’t imagine going through this past week without you, especially last night and today.” She looked up at him with a weary smile. “You have no idea how much you’ve helped by being here.”

  “I’m glad.” He smoothed his hand down over her dark hair. “At least lay down and try to rest, okay?”

  “I will. Promise.” She rose up on her toes and pulled his head down for a sweet kiss. “Goodnight. I’ll come get you if I need you.”

  He left her, reluctantly, and went up to the room she must have gotten ready that morning while he’d been in Barlow. The bed was freshly made up and a small lamp on the bedside table was on, casting a warm, welcoming glow across the room. He took off his jeans and boots, then went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

  The bed was comfortable, the pillow just right, and in spite of his unsettled thoughts he soon felt his eyelids getting heavy. He rolled onto his side, pulled the sheet up over his chest, and succumbed.

  A few hours later he woke up, feeling more rested than he should have after such a short time. He decided to check on Callie, hoping he’d find she’d given in to sleep just as he had.

  He tugged on his jeans but left the boots off. His bare feet allowed him to walk soundlessly, except for an occasional soft squeak of a floorboard. He went down the stairs and looked at the couch. A pillow and blankets were there, but no Callie, so he went down the hall to Jeremiah’s door.

  Leslie was seated on her usual chair just inside the room, an e-reader in her hand. She looked up when she sensed his presence and gave him a smile, then motioned him into the room. Vince stepped inside and saw Callie in the chair by Jeremiah’s bed. She had one hand curled around the sick man’s wrist, and the other arm crooked under her head on the bed, pillowing it as she slept.

  Jeremiah’s chest rose and fell with slow, shallow breaths. His body was relaxed in sleep, his expression peaceful.

  The sight made Vince’s heart roll over in his chest. There was such a pure, unconditional love between the two of them. He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer that the things Callie was going to learn wouldn’t taint the memories she shared with the man she loved so dearly. Vince knew she’d be shocked and hurt at first, of course she would, but it was his hope and prayer Callie would come to realize Jeremiah had always been her grandfather in every way that counted.

  Blood didn’t matter. Jeremiah’s undying love and devotion were the important things, and he’d given her that in spades.

  Vince squatted down beside Leslie. “How long’s she been in here?” he whispered.

  “About an hour.” The nurse’s eyes were warm and empathetic. “It’s not going to be long, Vince. I think she knows that. She doesn’t want him to be alone.”

  Vince nodded. “He doesn’t seem to be suffering.”

  “He’s beyond that,” Leslie said. “He’s much closer to death than life at this point.”

  Vince pressed his thumb and forefinger against his eyes. “Pray for her, Leslie. She’s got some tough times ahead.”

  She nodded. “Death is always hard to face, especially when it’s someone who is so much a part of your everyday life.”

  If only that was all Callie would have to face. Vince couldn’t voice his concern, but he felt it to the bottom of his soul.

  He wished Jeremiah had burned the journal and kept the secret, and yet as much as he dreaded the fall-out, Vince didn’t hold the decision against the man. He knew Jeremiah had sincerely wanted to do what was best for Callie. Vince could even understand his logic. As far as Callie knew, her grandfather’s death would leave her without a single immediate family member, other than an absent grandmother. Jeremiah had been the only one who knew that wasn’t true. He was the only one who could give her the chance to have a family again, and he’d decided he couldn't take that choice away from her.

  Vince also suspected Jeremiah had weighed the fact that the “obscenely rich” family Tabby had written about could eliminate the need for Callie to ever worry about money again. That would matter to Jeremiah, because what man wouldn’t want an easier life for his granddaughter? Especially if it assured the future of a ranch that was so much a part of them both.

  It would also explain why Jeremiah had seemed so taken aback to learn Vince had money of his own, enough to ensure the Double Nickel survived even without a long-lost family’s riches.

  Vince sighed and stood, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck. He wondered if Jeremiah would have made the same decision if he knew Callie’s father was Howard Tate, New Orleans business mogul and billionaire. A man who could change Callie’s life in so many ways, both good and bad.

  The question was, would Callie give him that chance?

  CHAPTER 27

  Callie felt her favorite pair of hands gently curving over her shoulders. She opened her eyes, trying to figure out where she was, then remembered with a jolt. She straightened up quickly, aware of her grandfather’s withered wrist under her fingers. She tightened her grip as she looked at his face, placing her other hand on his chest, gratified when she felt it rise with a shallow breath.

  Vince leaned over and placed his hand over hers. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said softly in her ear, “but Leslie says it’s going to be soon. His pulse is barely there and his breathing is slowing.”

  Callie looked up at him, alarmed. “No,” she whispered, shaking her head rapidly. “No, I’m still not ready. I want—”

  “Shhh, Callie.” He knelt beside her, gently rubbing her back. “See how peaceful he is? No more suffering. He’s at the gates of a better place, baby. Just tell him you love him. Tell him you love him and let him go there.”

  She felt the hot tears spilling from her eyes as she looked at the beloved face of the man who had raised her so well. She picked up his hand, squeezing it between both of hers. He did look peaceful. His face was relaxed, his lips almost smiling. Not quite, but almost.

  “Grandpa,” she said. Her voice broke, so she took a breath and tried again. “Grandpa, I love you. I love you and I’ll miss you, but you made me strong, so I’ll be all right.” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and managed a smile, even though he couldn’t see it. “Watch over me from heaven, okay? You can ride horses there, and you can see my mom, and you won’t hurt anymore. That makes me happy.” Her throat closed and she pressed the back of his hand to her cheek. She swallowed hard, then forced a few more words past the ache. “Thanks for everything, Grandpa. I love you so much.”

  Jeremiah’s chest rose suddenly on a long, deep breath. Then he let it out. And he was gone.

  ***

  Callie raised her head from the bed by her grandfather’s shoulder. How long had she sat there, grieving her loss even as she rejoiced in his gain? Five minutes? Thirty? She had no idea. When she’d realized he was gone, she’d just put her head down beside him and let the silent tears flow.

  She’d been aware that Vince and Leslie had left the room and softly closed the door, leaving her alone to say goodbye to the man who had loved her and cared for her for so long. But now Vince had returned, by her side once again.

  “Leslie called Dr. Halliday a while ago,” he told her gently. “He’ll be here in a few minutes.”

  She stood and reached for him, taking in a grateful, unsteady breath when his strong arms encircled her, pulling her against the warm, wonderful, living strength of his big body.

  “I’m so sorry, Callie. If you need more time with him, I’ll tell the doctor to wait.”

  She shook her head. “No. No, I think I’m good. Thank you for staying with me until he was gone.”

  He continued to hold her, waiting until she was ready to break the contact. She finally stepped back, rolling her head in an attempt to ease the ache
in her neck and shoulders.

  “What time is it?”

  “Four AM.”

  “Okay. Too early to make any calls, but I can get started on a list of things I need to do. Calls that’ll need to be made later.”

  He nodded, seeming to understand her need to do something. “Leslie will stay as long as you need her to. She said she’ll be happy to contact the funeral home and make arrangements to get him there. She figured you’d use the local one?”

  “Yeah. Miller’s.” Callie scrubbed at her cheeks, removing the last of the wetness. Her eyes felt scratchy and swollen. “I should’ve been more proactive and made a list a long time ago. I guess I just didn’t want to face it. I wanted to believe we had more time.”

  “We’ll get everything figured out.” His voice was gentle and confident, once again providing the strength and calm she needed.

  Thank you, Lord. Thank you for Vince.

  The prayer was silent, but heartfelt. She gave him one more hug, then headed determinedly for the kitchen. There was a lot to do, and she was glad. Being busy was way better than sitting and dwelling on things right now.

  ***

  Brittany came up behind Callie and took the dishcloth from her hand.

  “Come on, girlfriend, time to step back. There are more than a dozen people here who want to help with this cleanup. Let them do it.”

  Callie had been preparing to wipe down a table, but now she looked around and saw there were indeed a lot of people pitching in to get the church fellowship hall back in shape after the meal that had followed Jeremiah’s memorial service.

  “You’ve been on your feet almost all day, Callie. You’ve had to talk to almost everyone in Barlow and the five surrounding towns. Now it’s time for you to go home and rest.”

  Callie looked gratefully at her friend. “I can barely feel my feet,” she admitted. “But what a great service, Brit. I had no idea so many people would come to pay their respects to Grandpa. He touched a lot of lives, didn’t he?”

  “He did. The church was packed, and the tributes were so beautiful. Made me proud to know him.”

  “I thought I would probably cry through the whole thing, but I just sat there and smiled because I was so happy to hear how much he meant to people. He could be surly and intimidating at times, but I guess folks saw through that. And I had no idea how often he came to the aid of people who were struggling. Like Allen Dawson. I had no clue Grandpa kept him from bankruptcy.”

  “And wouldn’t let him pay him back until years later, when he was completely solvent again,” Brittany added. “Think how different things would be for his family right now if Jeremiah hadn’t helped him through that bad time.”

  “Yeah. Goes to show you one person really can make a difference.” Callie hugged her friend. “Thanks for all your help over the past few days. You girls kept me sane. I underestimated the number of details that need to be taken care of when someone dies.”

  “We’re your family,” Brittany declared. “I never want you to feel like you don’t have anyone left.” She looked across the room and giggled. “Not that you would. Not with Vince around. Holy cow, Callie, I don’t envy you having to bury your grandfather, but I certainly do envy you that man. I mean, if I had a man who cared about me the way he does you, I wouldn’t ask for anything else in the world.”

  “Mmm. Sometimes I think he’s too good to be true,” Callie agreed, looking over at the man she knew she’d fallen in love with. “I keep waiting for him to get tired of all this. Did you know we’ve never even gone on an actual date? The whole time he’s known me, I’ve been dealing with Grandpa’s health and couldn’t get away from the ranch—except to volunteer at the Full Heart. Yet he’s been there for me through it all.”

  “I don’t think he’s going anywhere, either,” Brit stated. “At least not before he has to. And I’m sure you’ll have the chance to go on quite a few actual dates before that time comes.”

  “I hope so. I want to get to know him outside of my own neediness, you know?”

  “Yep, and I’m even more jealous now,” Brittany declared. She grinned at her friend. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for you, but I want one, too. Next summer, I want him to bring friends.”

  Callie laughed, and it felt good. She knew it would make Jeremiah happy, too—he’d always loved to hear her and the girls laugh. “I’ll be sure to ask Vince if he knows anyone who could handle you.”

  Brittany took her hand and tugged her toward the group of people Vince was talking with. “Come on. Time to get your hunk of a hockey player to take you home and let you relax.” She gave a low moan. “Oh man, just look at him. Promise you’ll ask about that friend?”

  “Promise.” Callie smiled when Vince turned his head and saw them, his gaze zeroing in on her, making sure she was okay. He said something to the men around him before breaking away from the group and coming toward her.

  “Okay, big guy,” Brittany said. “I’ve convinced her she doesn’t have to stay here any longer. Her day is done. Take her home and force her to put her feet up and rest. That’s an order.”

  “Yes ma’am,” Vince said readily, wrapping an arm around Callie’s shoulders.

  “The girls and I will bring lunch to her tomorrow, so you don’t have to worry about her while you’re at the retreat center. Assuming you’re going back to work tomorrow?”

  Vince raised his brows at Callie. “She tells me I am,” he said with a wry smile.

  Callie leaned into him. “We both need to work tomorrow. Boone needs you back. Even though it’s not a retreat week, I know there’s a lot to do there. Plus, I need to get back out on the ranch and try to figure out how to make it keep working without Grandpa around.”

  “Your guys will help,” Vince assured her. “They’ve already told you they’re in it for the long-haul.”

  “Yeah. We still need to get our roles all figured out, but I’m actually looking forward to that.” Callie looked gratefully at Brittany. “Thanks for everything, Brit. I’ll look forward to seeing you girls for lunch.”

  “We’ll bring pie from the diner,” her friend promised. “You need feel-good food. Now scoot, you two.”

  Vince urged Callie toward the door. “You heard the lady,” he said. “We need to scoot. Bye, Brit.”

  “Don’t forget your promise, Callie,” the girl called, a big smile on her face when Callie looked back and waved.

  “What did she make you promise?” Vince wondered as they left the fellowship hall and walked to his truck.

  Callie chuckled. “She wants you to bring a friend if you come back next summer.”

  “If I come back? Is that even a question?”

  “I hope not.”

  They reached the truck but instead of opening the door, he turned her toward him, his blue eyes serious as he put his hands on her waist. “You doing okay, babe? I haven’t had a chance to talk to you much today.”

  “I’m tired and my feet hurt, but it was a good day. A great send-off for Grandpa.” She smiled, feeling happy and warm all over again. “I expected about half as many people. I’m glad the food committee didn’t take my estimate or they’d have run out of food.”

  “It was a good day,” Vince agreed. “Hearing those people talk about Jeremiah helped me understand why I knew right from the beginning he was a good guy. I didn’t have the chance to know him when he wasn’t sick, but after today, I feel a little bit like I did.”

  “He tried to hide it, but he was a big softie,” Callie said affectionately.

  They got in the truck and drove back toward the Double Nickel, but when Vince was about to turn onto their road, she put a hand on his arm.

  “Keep going, Vince. I don’t want to go back to that empty house right now.”

  He looked over at her, concerned. “You’ve had a long day, Callie. You should go home and relax. Put your feet up, like Brit said.”

  She shook her head determinedly. “I don’t want to. I want to go somewhere to take my mind off
things. I’ve been at the ranch almost twenty-four hours a day for two months. The only time I was away was when I was working at the retreat center. I’d gladly do it all over again for Grandpa, but I don’t want to go back there right now. Not if he’s not there.”

  She dropped her hand to his leg. “I want to do something fun. Go somewhere where every little thing doesn’t remind me of him. Just for a little while.”

  Vince smiled, flicked his turn signal off, and hit the accelerator. The powerful motor revved up quickly. “Your wish is my command. Just tell me where to go, because I have no idea where this road will take us. I’ve never gone farther than your lane.”

  “It takes us to Gaston, a town about twice the size of Barlow. It’s only twenty minutes away.” She grinned. “There’s a theater there. We’re a little overdressed for a movie, but that’s what I want to do. A movie, then pizza. It’ll be our first real date, and it’ll help me forget things for a few hours. That’s what I need right now.”

  “Then that’s what you’ll get.” He returned her grin. “Can we sit in the back row and make out?”

  She nodded. “Of course, this is a date after all. Although it probably won’t be necessary to sit clear in the back. We’ll probably be the only ones there for an early movie on a Tuesday.”

  He put his hand on top of hers and threaded his fingers down through hers. “Works for me.”

  She sat back in her seat, content for the moment to forget everything else and simply focus on being with Vince. The man who had her heart so tightly wrapped up, she knew she’d never be the same.

  ***

  “You sure you’ll be okay? I can stay, Callie. You know I don’t mind.”

  They were standing just inside the kitchen door after returning from the absolute best movie and pizza date Callie had ever had. By far.

  “No, Vince. I’ll be fine. You’ve basically put your whole life on hold for me the last four days. You need to go back to your cabin and get a good night’s sleep before you go back to work tomorrow. I’m sure Boone expects you to get up bright and early to resume your workout schedule.”

 

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