by Jill Cooper
The irony of that statement makes me laugh in a burst. I cover my mouth. “Sorry. I mean, yeah, I should have called. Sorry.” I frown. “But it was spur of the moment, we had some fun. Lunch, and Don took us home. I thought you’d approve of that.”
“I guess I do.” Jax studies me. “You were angry the last few days, but now… I don’t see it anymore. Everything better?”
Can’t say things are better, at least not yet. “I’ve worked through a few issues. I just have a few more days to get through and then hopefully everything will be fine.”
“Well good. I love you, Lar, but you’re not always easy to live with. You know that?”
My nose scrunches in a smile and I crush him in a hug. “It’s so good to come home.” I didn’t mean to say it aloud; Jax’s arms go around me to give me a squeeze. I cringe and wonder what he thinks of my statement. How I can explain it if he asks me what I mean?
But he doesn’t. “This will always be your home. No matter if you think we’re mad, or we think you’re unreasonable, you’re always welcome here. No matter what.”
I stare up into his eyes and I do feel like I’ve come home. Jax is my dad just as much as my real dad who is in prison. I don’t think I can change that anymore even if I wanted to, but I can get Dad out and, starting tomorrow, I’m going to. But first I have to make sure Molly is safe. Because she’s my family too and I won’t trade family for family.
Not again. Not anymore.
“Thanks, Dad.” I hug Jax close and for a moment too long refuse to let him go.
“You’re just doing what teens do. We get that. Why don’t you go into the kitchen and see your mom? I’ll help the kids with their homework.”
Nodding, I give the kids a final glance and head into the kitchen. Mom is wearing a lace trimmed apron over her power suit and she pulls a pan from the oven. Satisfied, she places it on the counter and tears off her oven mitts with a sigh. “Well, that should just about do it.”
She turns to me and her eyes are stern with me, but I can’t help but just stand there and stare at her with my mouth partially open.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Mom asks and it’s clear she’s more upset with me for taking the twins out than Jax is.
Mom never lets me off the hook. She’s always angry at me. But at least I have her. At least we’re here and she remembers who I am. That stern look in her eye might as well be a look of love for all I am concerned.
“No, ma’am,” I whisper and my lip quivers. I’m headed into full on ugly cry mode and I don’t know if I can stop it. So I turn and rest my head against the wall. I can’t stop what I’m feeling. The release of everything I’ve been through in the past two years is too much for me. I rock back and forth and cover my mouth.
It stops the guttural cry from coming out too loud or too fast.
Mom’s hands are on my shoulders. “Lara, honey, what is it?”
She turns me around and the concern in her eye is too much for me. “I’m so scared, Mom,” I whisper and rest my head on her shoulder. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
“Oh, honey.” Mom strokes my hair. “I’m not mad at you, I swear. I was just worried about the twins.”
The twins. Her words cut through me like a knife. “Why can’t you ever worry about me?” My voice cracks and I pull away from her and rub my face. It’s clear that just time traveling two years into the past doesn’t change relationship problems because if it did, I’d be living a happy ever after.
“Well, of course I do. I just worry about you differently. I worry about your grades, the company you keep, what you’ve gotten yourself into. I love you, Lara. You have to know that.”
But I don’t. I really don’t. In the future it was so easy for her to forget me. Logically I know it was Rex and Patricia, the technology at their fingertips. But my heart says if Mom did love me, she could never forget me. I could never be erased.
“What’s this about?” she asks softly. “Is it Don? Something at school that has you so upset? Your father?”
I roll my eyes and wrap my arms around myself. If only it could be something that easy, that simple. “You wouldn’t believe me if I tried.”
Mom laughs. “Oh, c’mon on. I’ve done it all. I was you once, angry at my parents and trying to do my own thing. Why don’t you try me?”
“For two years I’ve been trapped in a Rewind Agency lab and I’ve come back here, to this moment in time, to fix everything.”
I study her as she studies me. Her mouth falls open and her eyes flame with anger.
“See, I told you you wouldn’t believe me.” I turn from her and head up the stairs. Behind me I hear her chasing after me.
“Wait a second, Lara!”
I turn and she’s right behind me on the stairs. She glances over her shoulder to see where Jax is. “Why don’t we go up to your room and you can tell me more. All right?”
Now it’s my turn to be floored. She isn’t just entertaining me. She believes me, which means…
Mom knows about the top secret lab.
Chapter Fourteen
I sit on my bed and cross my legs. It’s been years since I’ve been here but now it’s only been since that morning. Now I am two years older and been through hell so the posters on the wall and the prom dress hanging in my closet are like a joke. I don’t know how I can ever care about these sort of things again.
How can I let go of the pain of being controlled and manipulated, mind raped by Rex, even though now it hasn’t even happened?
In my mind it’s more real, raw, than all of this, so how can I ever hope to go back to a normal life?
Mom closes my door and slides onto the bed beside me. All of my questions fall away because I am here, back with her, and that’s real. That’s tangible.
It’s all I ever wanted.
“You know about the secret lab?”
“The question is, how do you?” Mom asks and she bites her lip. It’s clear that she expects an answer, a truthful one, but is it possible that she’ll believe me?
The last time I did all this, I tried to do it alone and it got Molly kidnapped. It led to our lives being destroyed. That means this time I have to try something new.
I have to try trust.
But it isn’t easy as my chest tremors with a big breath. “Everything I’m going to say is going to seem crazy, but if we’re to get out of this alive and together you have to trust me.” I grab her hand and squeeze it.
Mom squeezes it back, but there’s fear on her face. Maybe she’s afraid of what I’ll say or maybe she’s afraid she won’t believe me. Part of me is afraid that she will believe me and we’ll go on this journey together. And if it all goes bad or it turns out to be a lie then I’ll never be able to pick myself up and carry on again.
It’ll break me.
“I know I’ve said some horrible things about Jax in the past and I’m sorry for them.” I pause and let Mom react. She takes a deep breath and she’s about to launch into defense of him, but I don’t let her get the chance. “But I was wrong. I know he wasn’t the one who framed dad. It was Patricia James and the thugs that work for her.”
Mom stares at me and she doesn’t react, so I move on.
“I was in league with a reporter. You probably remember her. She was sniffing around and going to blow the lid off the Rewind Agency’s fake reports, illegal experiments, and how Patricia James was manipulating herself into power by crushing anyone that got in her way. Dad got in her way, and when you weren’t killed, Patricia set in motion a plan to keep you at Rewind and to lock Dad away so he couldn’t reason with you.”
Her grip on my hand loosens and if Mom wants to speak, I don’t think she can. Her eyes are beyond shocked at what I’ve revealed to her.
“And I know all this because I’m not the Lara Montgomery you knew. I’m Lara Crane from an alternate present where you didn’t survive that shooting. Patricia James killed you for the secrets you threatened to walk away with. I was raised b
y a mourning widower who did everything in his power to protect me and I went back in time to save you because I wanted to know you so badly. And now here we are.”
Mom’s eyes widen. “If you’re trying to scare me, you’re doing a great job. But what you’re saying isn’t possible. Time travel—”
“—Changing time isn’t possible? The brain hemorrhages and will kill you as two timelines collide? I’ve survived it and it’s nearly crippled me more than once. But I know you’ve been searching for someone special who could survive it, to be studied so the effect could be replicated in others. I know the memory storage service Rewind offers is just a way to scan people’s brains and find a person who can do this. Patricia found it in me. And for the past two years…” My chin wobbles.
Mom grabs my hand. “Lara?”
I push my lips together firmly. “As far as I’m concerned, where we are right now is two years in the past because I’ve lived two years past this. In a cage. Experimented on. They put a damn plug into my brain, forcing me to…” I can’t even say what they’ve forced me to do, so I don’t. “They stripped you of your memories of me, the twins, even Jax. Two years from now Patricia will control every aspect of our life and she will be one step closer to what she wants. Complete time travel control.”
Mom covers her mouth. “I don’t know how you know all this…”
My voice warbles as I push on. If I stop talking now, I might never be brave enough to talk about it again. “Because I’ve been there. I’ve seen it. And it’s time everyone knows what Patricia is capable of.”
Mom shakes her head and tears well in her eyes. “You can’t. She’ll…”
My eyebrows rise. “Kill you? Kill me? I know she’s been forcing you silent all these years. I saw the video you made.”
Her eyes flash with anger. “You went through my office?”
“I didn’t have a choice, but I didn’t. The other Lara did. The one who was here before I arrived. The one who was certain Jax framed Dad. But she was wrong. It wasn’t Jax. It was Rex.”
“Rex?” Mom whispers. “Jax’s brother? We only just met him a few months ago.”
I nod. “And he recognized Lara. He remembered her from the alley the day he missed the shot on you. And since then he’s realized what I’ve done. And now he’s coming for us. We have no choice but to go public. If we don’t, we’ll be worse than dead. We’ll be under their control.”
Mom is frozen in place. “We can’t take them on. Patricia has money. She has power…”
“Then we go to someone with money and power.” I take Mom’s hands and squeeze them. “Do you want to hear what they do to Jax? How they start experimenting on Molly?”
Mom’s eyes widen. “No!”
“It’s true. There’s a link, a genetic connection between my brain and hers. Why wouldn’t they think they can unlock it in her? And for two years they’ll torment her. Until they break her. Until she will do whatever they want.”
Mom squeezes her eyes tight and sobs. She places her head in her hands and I hug her tight. “No one else can know this,” I whisper in her ear. “If Jax finds out, Rex might suspect.”
“What?” Mom straightens up. “There’s no way that Jax knows. He would never…” She studies me and then her eyebrows scrunch together. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“He loves you. Maybe he loves you so much he was willing to look the other way so Dad was taken out of the picture. I don’t know what his real motives were. I just know how sorry he is. I think he wanted to protect you and he thought this way was the answer. Don’t be mad at him.”
“Don’t be mad?” Her voice screeches. “How—”
“—He has the evidence that connects Rewind to Rex. Now I have it. I just have to go get it.”
Mom nods. “I’ll go with you.”
I shake my head. “You have to stay here and protect Molly. They’ll come for her. They know I have the video and the evidence. They’ll want me to trade the evidence for Molly, but it’s a trap. Once they get me, they’ll never let me go.”
“Oh my God.” Mom squeezes her eyes shut. “I shouldn’t believe this. I shouldn’t believe any of this. I should just call your psychologist and in the morning—”
“—In the morning it might be too late.” I give her a level stare. “They already tried to snatch Molly once today. Now that they’ve failed they’re going to try again. She can’t go to school tomorrow.”
“What… What should I do?” Mom thinks and her eyes tick left and right. “I should take them away, shouldn’t I? I should take Mike and Molly away.”
I didn’t think of it, but it’s a good idea. “Tonight. While everyone is sleeping. I’ll see you guys out of town.”
“I won’t ask you to do this.” Mom grabs my shoulder. “You should come with us. We could all fade away. Hide…”
“And Dad will stay in prison forever for something he didn’t do.” My eyes darken and I watch Mom’s expression crumble.
Her eyes squeeze shut. “Oh… John…”
“You loved him once. Now we need to get him out. How you never thought Patricia could be behind this…”
Her face flashes with defiance. “I didn’t know about Patricia. It’s only been in the coming years that she’s grown so controlling. I had no idea she was capable of this then.”
I accept her answer because I don’t have any choice. “Go downstairs and serve dinner. When everyone is eating I’ll pack the bags and drop them out front. Just tell Jax I’m sulking or something after breaking a nail.”
Mom smoothes my hair. “Oh Lara, we know you’re not that shallow.”
“No? Because I feel like I was. I’m just so sorry.”
“I’m not sure I’ve processed everything you’ve said yet,” Mom admits. “But I am thankful to be alive and have you kids. As for Jax…” She sighs. “I don’t know how I am even going to face him.”
“He’s not the enemy. He’s stuck in the middle as much as any of us. Keeping what we’re doing from him will save him. If Rex suspects that Jax is going to betray him, who knows what Rex would do?”
“And you think Jax would? Betray Rex after all this?”
“He’s been doing all this for ten years to keep you safe. All of us safe. I’d say yes, Jax would give up Rex in a heartbeat, which is why he can’t know. Rex can read people really well so Jax can’t know. Not yet.”
Mom nods. “I’ll … save you some dinner.” She pauses at the door. “Please be careful, baby.”
I smile and her words light me up for a brief moment.
“I could never forget you,” Mom says as she sneaks out of my room and I wish I could believe those words. Because I know they’re not true.
Everyone, as it turns out, is forgettable.
*****
I pack Molly and Mike’s favorite things along with necessities in one bag. In the other I pack Mom a change of clothes plus their passports. I don’t know where she’ll be headed and I think that’s a good thing. I think I shouldn’t know, just in case things go wrong.
Hunger growls in my belly and I need to go downstairs to grab some dinner. I put on my cozy black hoodie and zip it up. It’s the same one I wore two years ago on that night I headed to the YMCA to pick up the information on Rex. It seems fitting, but it also scares me that history is going to repeat itself.
No matter what I do, how I go about this, I need to stay out of Rewind’s hands. The moment I do, I’ll end up trapped back in that virtual reality world and this time I might not be lucky enough to get out alive.
My phone rings and I see that it’s Donovan. “Hey.” I sit down on my bed and let the soothing sound of his voice roll over me.
“Everything all right over there?” His voice wraps me in comfort and solace.
“So far. The parents are with the twins and so far there’s been nothing out of the ordinary. How about you? You haven’t told anyone, I hope.”
“No, of course not. I know the arrangement. What time do you want to m
eet tonight?”
I glance at the clock and for a minute I expect to see the hands ticking backwards, but luckily they aren’t. Everything is normal. “1AM? I need to make sure everyone is asleep. I’ll call you and give you a location.”
“Why not just give me one now?”
“Tonight.” Anxiety nets in my stomach. “Promise.”
“All right, Lara. If you want to be all cloak and dagger, that’s fine with me. You really know how to keep a guy interested.”
I smile at the phone. “I love you too.” I end the call and hold the phone to my chest; I take a deep, shaking breath.
Everything is coming to a head. Soon it can all be over, but can it really?
Can it really be this easy?
****
My belly is stuffed full of dinner and I slide my dirty plate into the dishwasher. I can hear voices in the living room and I move over to the door and push it open. I can’t see what’s going on, but I hear voices.
“You’ve been acting weird since dinner. What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Everything is fine.” Mom is exasperated.
“Are you sure? You and Lar were upstairs for a while, if there’s something going on…”
“There’s nothing going on, Jax. I promise.”
Mom is spiraling out of control. If I can hear it in her voice, I’m sure that Jax can hear it too. I push through the door and smile at them. Instead of sitting they are standing and the Great Wall of China might as well be between them. Mom’s arms are crossed and she looks standoffish.
“I have some homework so I’m going to head off to bed. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I kiss Jax’s cheek.
“Night, sweetheart.” He rubs my back. “Thanks for having dinner with us, it was nice.”
“It’s always nice to be home.” I smile.
“Okay, now I know something is going on.”
I laugh. “Can’t a girl appreciate her family once in a while?”
“I guess so.” Jax’s smile is halfhearted, but it does reach his eyes. “Have a good night.”