by Jill Cooper
Or is everything I want just smoke, mirrors and fairytales?
“Hey.” My voice is quiet as I shift the duffle bag’s position on my shoulder.
Donovan offers me his hand and I take it as I step inside the pool house. For a brief moment, he checks the area to make sure we’re alone before he secures the door. I move into the room and place the duffle bag on the coffee table. There’s a fire roaring over beside the television. There are candles lit on the brick surround that separates the room from the kitchen.
I take a deep breath and I smell Donovan’s aftershave as he wraps his arms around my middle and nuzzles my neck from behind. I stroke his hand and lean my head against his. Warmth and love spreads through me, but I’m not here for a midnight booty call. I’m here to save my family. I just pray I can go about it the right way, that I can reach Donovan in a way that he’ll believe me.
When he pulls his lips off of my neck, I stiffen and turn around. “It’s nice to see you too.”
“You look tired. Stressed out.” Donovan takes my hand. “You want to just tell me what’s going on?”
I wish it was that easy. We sit on the sofa, our knees touching, as I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh. My eyes fall on the laptop on the table. “I think it’d be easier if I show you.”
Donovan nods and slides the computer closer to us and lifts the lid. I take the flash drive from the duffle bag and snap it in place.
“What you’re going to see is going to upset you. But I can explain. I promise. Just let me, okay?”
His eyes crinkle. “You’re starting to scare me. You know I’m always on your side, don’t you?”
I do. Well, I wish I could. I wish it could be that easy.
With a flick of my finger I open the flash drive’s directory. Inside is everything I swiped from my mom’s computer, several days ago now that I’ve jumped back in time. The video is titled ‘My Confession’.
I queue it up and my stomach somersaults. I squeeze Donovan’s hand as the screen fills with my mother’s face. And she looks so haunted, so sad.
Mom leans in to the camera and I know the words coming will shock Donovan, so I grip his fingers to try to ground him.
“If I have an accident, if I end up dead, let this serve as proof that Senator Patricia James, my colleague and old friend, had a hand in it.”
Donovan flinches and goes rigid beside me. We glance at each other, but he doesn’t say anything. He just looks back at the screen.
Mom’s hands shake as she wipes a strand of hair from her face. “I dare not let on that I know how dangerous she’s become. But I am going to finish my current project and then, God help me, take my family and get out of the country. Hide. If I live that long.” Mom blinks back tears. “Jax, Lara, no one knows how scared I’ve been the last few months and I have to keep it that way or put their lives in jeopardy—” she takes a deep breath “—I never should have listened to Patricia. Never.
“The memory storage program at Rewind is nothing but a cover for our real goal. I never should have gone along with it, but Senator James can be convincing. We’ve kept our illegal experiments on people secret. She wants time travel at her fingertips to change the world. She wants us to develop the power to remove memories and insert new ones. And now that technology is near perfected. I know now we never should have done it. I never should have gone along with it.”
Mom sighs and Donovan’s mouth hangs open in shock. “People have tried to stop us and they’ve all had accidents. Disappeared. Even a journalist. If Patricia finds out I’m on to her and where her money comes from, I have no doubts she’ll wipe me out.
“I used to have the same goals as the senator—” Mom swallows hard “—But I wanted it to help people like my Lara. Like myself. Victims. Patricia wants it for herself. And that can’t be allowed. So once I’m done and safely out of the country, I’ll send this video. And be done with her once and for all.”
Donovan lets out a shaking breath. “What else is on that flash drive?”
“Schematics of the technology. Briefings from my mom to yours on the progress.”
His face is blank and I have no idea what he’s thinking. “Where’s your mother now?”
“I got her, Jax and the twins away. It’s too dangerous right now for them to stay in Boston. The senator sent those thugs after me and they tried to snatch Molly. If they stayed here, I have no doubt my mother’s worst fears would come true.”
“This isn’t enough evidence to convict anyone of anything.”
“I have other evidence.” My words come out harsh and Donovan squints at me and pulls his hand away.
“What other evidence?”
I want to scream at him to please emote, but it’s like he can’t. He’s still processing and I can’t read him like I usually can. Part of me wishes back the Donovan of the virtual world, the one who I stood with as one against a common enemy, even if it was his mother.
“Lara? What evidence?” Donovan asks with power behind his words.
“Sorry.” I shake my head. “A money trail that links Rewind and Patricia to my mother’s attempted murder. It shows how they framed my dad when they failed.”
Donovan shakes his head and runs his hands through his hair. He tugs at it like his brain is at war with itself. I move to touch him and he shrugs me off. “Don’t.”
My heart pangs with pain. “Don—”
“—You’ve been carrying this evidence around for how long, that my Mom is guilty of what, conspiracy, murder? Breaking the rules Congress put in place? And you never once told me?” Donovan slams the laptop shut and storms off to the kitchen. He leans over the counter and from how his shoulders round up I know he’s angry.
I can’t really blame him, but we only have so long to work through his pain and come out on the other side. Taking my time, I go to his side and put my hand on his back. “I didn’t know how you would take it. I didn’t know if you would choose me.”
Donovan glances at me with a severe glare. “If everything you say is true, you think I would side with a murderer over you? No matter who she is?”
“How could I know for sure?” I ask as he stands up and faces me. “Your mom is a powerful woman and she’s in bed with the mafia. If she knows you’re on my side—”
“You think she’d hurt me?” Donovan almost laughs, but he stops mid-chuckle. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I think if you got in the way, you’d get hurt and she’d cry about it later.” I bite my lip.
“I still don’t know if this is enough to stop her. Maybe it’s enough to get a Congress hearing. Maybe.”
“Then I’ll testify.” My voice has deep resolve.
“Testify to what? That you stole a few files?”
I shake my head and my curls swish. “Testify that I was there when she and her thugs entered the home of reporter Joyce Meyers and demanded that she hand over her evidence. When they didn’t, they killed her. And I was there, hiding in the closet.”
Donovan’s eyes widen and I watch a tirade of emotions fight for placement on his face. Disbelief. Fear. Anger. “What happened to the evidence?”
“I have it.” I stroke my locket without thinking.
“And where is it?” Donovan’s eyes narrow. “Wow, you aren’t planning on telling me, are you?”
“Donovan,” I sigh. “This is your mom. What I’m asking you to do is a lot.”
“For both of us. If this comes out. When this comes out, your mom, Jax—they’re going to be in trouble too. Not just my mom. And Rewind—”
“—Will need to find someone strong, with morals and respect to run it.” I touch his hand.
“Me?” His eyebrows arch. “Lara, I’m still in high school. Not sure if you noticed, but we’re kids. Next week I’m supposed to take you to prom. Then we were going on a cruise before settling into college and now what you’re asking me to do—”
“—Is to grow up.” My eyes narrow. “I fell into this, but I’m not letting it go
until I see everything is set right. People need to come clean. Mom will need to answer for what she did and your mom—she needs to be stopped. If she’s allowed to continue, you have no idea what she’ll do. No idea.”
Memories of the last two years in a time line that no longer exist flash through my mind. I cringe and try to ride the wave of crashing emotions. I grip the countertop to steady myself and when I open my eyes, Donovan is staring at me with concern.
“What happened to you, Lara? Yesterday you were worried, but fine. But now—I’ve never seen you so distraught. The look on your face.” Donovan takes me by the arms. “You can trust me.”
I wish I could believe I can. Everything I have to say would test anyone’s ability to believe in someone and I can’t take that chance, at least not yet. “Let’s get through this and I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”
Donovan nods. “What’s your plan?”
“Do you have a ticket to the black tie event tomorrow that your mom is hosting?”
“The time travel gala? Yeah, but you know I never go to those events…” Donovan’s eyebrows lift up. “You want to go? Both of us?”
“I even bought a new dress.” I shrug. “It’ll be the perfect place to out Patricia. The place is an event for cops and senators.”
“Who support her,” Donovan points out.
“But when faced with what she’s done? There’s no way they’ll keep quiet. Reporters will be there. They can’t sweep it under the rug. Then maybe, just maybe—” I take a deep labored sigh “—this can be over and I can go back to being normal. Whatever that is.”
Donovan smirks. “Whatever that is for you.” I can’t read his eyes, but his hands are still on me and he pulls me in for an embrace.
I welcome it more than he can ever know. I rest against his chest and my hand caresses his neck, leaning against him. Donovan rubs my back and we sway slightly, even though there is no music. I wonder if this can be our future, if he can stick with me long enough to get through this, because outing Patricia is just the beginning. Next there will be police questions. There will be media and the mafia.
I doubt they are just going to look the other way as I unravel all of this. That means police protection. Protective custody. Maybe even witness protection. I have no idea what the future holds and it makes me nervous.
But it also makes me happy because, for the first time in two years, at least I have a future.
“Come on.” Donovan takes me by the hand. “Let’s get some sleep before the crazy of tomorrow starts.”
“Just a second.” I take the flash drive and grab my duffle bag before following him into the bedroom.
I make sure the duffle bag is on my side of the bed before I slip off my shoes and unzip my hoodie. My body should have scars from all the tests and experiments that Rewind did on me thanks to Rex and Patricia. But because those things never happened, my skin is smooth. It is clear of abuse. No welts. No redness.
But to me it’s more real than this. My fingers run across my smooth skin where there used to be discoloration or a bump. I can’t feel it anymore, but inside the scars are still there. They run deep, and as I close my eyes the only thing I can see is that damn glass box Rex kept me in.
My own screams echo in my ear even though I am silent.
The hands of the orderlies might as well be pulling on me to control me even though no one is touching me at all.
So when Donovan does touch me, his hands caressing my arms, I flinch and snort a deep breath. “Easy, Montgomery,” he whispers and kisses me from behind right at the nape of my neck. “It’s just me.”
I turn my head and gaze at his warm, understanding face. My lip puckers and tears fill my eyes. Maybe I shouldn’t cry. Maybe I should just be happy, but when he spins me around and hugs me, I nearly lose it. I cling to him and the belief that this is all happening.
I bury my face in his shoulder and I can feel him. His skin is warm. His heart beats beneath my ear. The clock in the room is ticking in the right direction, but I can’t trust that anymore either. I’ve been running from the fear since I traveled back in time that none of this is real.
That this is just an illusion.
How can I be sure? How can I know?
I trace his chest with my fingertip. “Are you real? Is any of this?”
Donovan can’t know what I’m talking about, but he touches my chin and, gingerly, our lips meet. It sends my heart soaring to feel his tender love. It can’t prove how real any of this is, but I choose to believe.
I choose faith that somehow everything will all work out.
****
I sleep like the dead and when I wake up my stomach is sour with nerves. It doesn’t take long for everything to rush back at me. Rolling over onto my stomach beside Donovan, he’s still asleep and I am able to stroke his face, wondering if in two years we’ll still be together. Will we be as solid as we were in my virtual world? Or will he become just another rich playboy? Will I be just a notch in his belt and maybe one day he’ll only think back on me fondly as that crazy Montgomery girl?
When his eyes open, Donovan smiles and my worries melt away. His hand searches beneath my hair and pulls me in for a kiss. I feel awkward about spending the night even if nothing happened between us, but when he greets me like that, it makes everything better.
“Morning.” I bite my lip and give him another kiss.
“You sleep okay?” Donovan messes with my hair.
“For the most part.”
He leans up on his elbows. “I heard you screaming. You bolted out of bed.”
I shrug it off, even though I remember the dream. “I’m fine now. Just one of those dreams that gets you. I have a lot to be nervous about.” I slide up in the bed and lean against the headboard.
Donovan eyes me. “I’ll make coffee. If you want some.”
“Wow.” I’m impressed. “You know how to make coffee?”
Donovan chuckles. “Yeah, I pick up the phone and call a servant. Oh, I’m kidding. Don’t go so pale. What happened to your sense of humor, Montgomery?” He kisses my cheek before standing and rolls a t-shirt over his head. “I’ll be right back.”
I nod and watch him go, hugging my knees into my chest. When he leaves I pull my jeans back on and my hoody. I go through my duffle bag and sigh with relief that everything is still there. I know I should trust Donovan, but I can’t. Everything is going too smoothly, at least considering my track record.
I grab my gun from the duffle bag and stow it in the back of my jeans. Tugging on my sweatshirt to make sure it’s covered up, I go over to the door.
My hand on the doorknob, I hear voices. Voices. My hear skips and I place my ear to the door. “Are you sure you haven’t heard from her?”
It is Patricia. Damn it. I glance around the room and look for an exit. There’s nothing but a window and an adjoining bathroom. I could escape that way if I wanted to, but I’d rather give Donovan time.
He’s smooth. He can handle his mother.
“Not since I dropped her off at home yesterday. I bumped into her and the twins at the mall. Is something wrong?”
“Oh no.” Patricia sighs with what sounds like relief, but I know that can’t be true. She really is good at faking. “There was just a report on television about—well, you’re going to hear about it sooner or later. Her uncle was killed. And there’s no sign of her or her family.”
“Wow.” Donovan’s voice is filled with shock. “I didn’t—I’ll call her and see if I can find her.”
“Thank you. If you reach her, I need to know immediately. Miranda is a close friend, and an ally at Rewind. We need her.” Patricia pauses. “Is there a reason you stayed in the pool house last night?”
“Studying. I was up late and didn’t want to wake anyone when I snuck down for those midnight snacks.”
Patricia laughs and kisses his cheek. “Such a good boy. If you do hear from Lara, don’t tell her I’m looking for her, okay? Who knows what happened last night an
d we don’t want to spook her.”
“I won’t. Promise.”
“Good. Off to school soon? Try not to be late.”
When the front door closes, I breathe a sigh of relief and back away from the door. Donovan sneaks back in and his eyes are lined with relief. “Did you know about that? Your uncle?”
I shake my head and scowl to hide the falseness of my answer. “No, I didn’t. Maybe the thugs got him.”
“You’re not a very good liar, Lara.” Donovan puts his hands on his hips. “What happened to your uncle?”
I shot him seems like an answer that will be hard to accept. “Rex was the one who tried to murder my mother.”
“Your uncle? He killed that girl in the alley?”
That girl who is me? My heart clenches. “Yes. He was paid by Patricia and last night he tried to kidnap me and take me to her. I got away. Something else must have got him.”
Donovan nods and he’s ghostly white. “I just can’t believe any of this is really happening. It’s crazy.”
He doesn’t even know the half of it.
“Do you think she’ll come back here? I can’t risk going out there and being seen by her or any of her men.”
Donovan glances back over his shoulder even though the bedroom door is shut tight. “No, I don’t, but if it makes you feel better I can bring breakfast in here.”
I nod with relief. “Thanks. Yeah, I think that would make me feel much better.”
He goes back out and closes the door. I sit on the bed and chew on a fingernail with nerves. While he clinks plates and utensils in the kitchen, I use my phone to call my Dad’s lawyer’s office.
Mr. Franklin is surprised to hear from me so soon. “I have more surprises for you, but you’ll need to meet me tonight. I have evidence that proves Dad is innocent and I need you to be at this address.”
I give him the address and then toss my phone back down into the duffle bag. The bedroom door opens and Donovan stands there with a tray of food, but his expression is all wrong. Instead of happiness, there’s fear.