by Jill Cooper
Dad sucks in his breath and sits up straighter. His face looks like he knows I’m about to shatter his world and I’m sorry for that. So mournful of all of it.
“I went back in time. I had fifteen minutes to save my mother’s life. And when I got back. Everything was different. Broken. Rewind. You. Our family.” I play with the hem of the napkin on my lap beneath the table.
Dad’s face is puzzled. Perplexed.
“I had Mom. But I lost so much. You lost so much. And that’s my fault. Before…” my chin quivers and I can’t find the strength to say the words. I stare into his warm eyes and I just can’t do it. My face scrunches and I nearly break down into the worst case of the ugly cry that’s ever been recorded.
But Dad is there. He slides over to sit closer to me and his arm is around my quaking shoulders. “You just tell me what it is, Lara. Okay?”
In that moment, he’s just like the dad I remember. I sniffle a nod and wipe my face. “Before I changed the past it was just the two of us. Mom was…dead. You raised me alone. We were happy, for the most part. We were poorer than dirt but we had each other. We always made it through.”
I gaze up at him and look for some sign he’s not angry. Doesn’t hate me, but I can’t tell if what I’ve said even makes sense to him. His face is just blank like a computer still trying to process information.
“Dad?” I shake his arm and wonder if I’ve lost him. Lost him forever.
“There was no....I wasn’t in jail? Is that what you’re saying?”
I nod and think he might be getting angry. Not that I can blame him. I’ve stolen ten years of his life.
“That’s why you can look at me that way.” Dad mumbles. “Like you love me, like we’ve shared things that I know we haven’t.”
“I’m sorry.” My lip quivers. “Daddy, please don’t be mad. I didn’t know…I didn’t know what would happen if I saved Mom.”
“And she died?” His face is pale. “She died that day in the alley, that Rex character killed your mother.” His face suddenly flushes. Red.
Anger.
“We never knew who. We thought it was a mugging.”
“He’s your uncle.” Dad whispers and I’m not sure he even realizes I’m still there. “That means Jax, your step-father. He knew everything. The entire time?”
I can’t make excuses for Jax. Not when I’m with my dad, no matter how conflicted on the inside I am. All I know is that I have my dad back and right now he’s hurting.
“I had to tell you. I’m so sorry, Dad.” I squeezed his arm and I’m not sure what I expect to happen. He could scream at me to get out. Scream a million things at me and I’d deserve every single one of them, but instead Dad just hugs me.
He hugs me tight and I just about lose it. I can’t stop the tears from falling anymore and I tighten my arms around him so he saves me like a life vest, grounding me in the present.
“It’s all right, Lara.” He strokes my hair back like he used to when I was little and I had a fever. “You didn’t know that saving your mother would make things so screwed up.”
“I thought you’d be married.” My voice cracks to admit the secret wish I had for so long. “I thought I’d come home and find you guys together. I saved her for us.”
Dad’s voice cracks and he’s crying too. Maybe he’s crying because that’s what he wanted. Or maybe because he spent so long in jail. I can’t know and I don’t ask. That’s his pain and if he wants to share it with me, he will.
But I hug him. I grip the back of his head and holds the embrace hard. I think Dad needs me as much as I need him.
“What was it like?” Dad asks much later as we lounge on his sofa. Big dishes of ice cream are long eaten.
“You were a janitor. Worked three jobs a lot just so we could keep ahead on the bills and the food. A lot of the times you were, well, barely there.” I admit and Dad’s face turns sad. “But we were happy. We conquered everything together. A team.”
He messes with my hair and I think he does it to cover how sad he is.
“We had a dog. Sparky.” My face lights up when I think of him. “I wonder where he ended up. I hope a nice family got him.”
“I could get a dog.” Dad suggests.
The doorbell rings when I’m about to tell him what a great idea that is. “Expecting company?”
Dad’s frown says he’s not. “I don’t exactly have a full social calendar these days.”
I laugh as I head to the entryway to open the door. On the other side an older man is scowling at me. “You’re not here to sell us a vacuum, are you?”
When he flashes me his badge, I guess he’s not.
From behind me, Dad puts his hand on my shoulder. “How can we help you, officer?”
“Detective.” He puts his badge back inside his breast pocket. “I’m Detective Frank Mulligan and I have a few questions for your daughter in the death of Rex Montgomery.”
I suck in my breath and Mulligan studies my face. “That’s what I thought you’d say. Come with me down to the station.”
“She’s not going anywhere without me.” Dad grabs his jacket off the hook by the door and the detective ushers us out into the hall.
When you’re Lara Crane, nothing is simple. Not even a night in with your dad.
John Crane
Lara’s a good kid and the questions the detective asks her don’t make sense. Lara fiddles with her hair between questions. I haven’t been around a long time, but I know fear in my kid’s eye when I see it.
“Are these questions done? Because it’s getting late.”
Mulligan glowers at me from the other side of the table. “I know being at a police station like this must be hard for you, Mr. Crane, bring back a lot of bad memories—.”
I think I might hit him.
But Lara interrupts with wide eyes. “He was innocent! It was proven so you don’t dare talk to him that way.”
I never thought I’d get to hear my daughter be so protective of me. Never thought I’d hear that love in her voice after Miranda tried so hard to distinguish it, but now isn’t the time. The place. So I slide my hand onto her shoulder and hope she knows what I try to convey.
Lara relaxes under my grip and even though she doesn’t look at me, I think she understands.
“But you, Ms. Montgomery? I think you’re far from innocent.” Mulligan leans forward in his chair to intimidate her, but I won’t be scared. In fact when I hear her call my daughter by that lying dirt bags name, I want to throttle him.
I knew Miranda and Jax had an affair. That came out long ago but I thought he loved Miranda and even Lara, with time. I was in jail forever so I let that shmuck adopt my daughter even though it killed me. Even though I didn’t want to. I thought it was best for Lara to have a father and be rid of the Crane name.
Now? I realize what a mistake that was.
Lara licks her lips. “When Rex was killed, I was at Dunkin Donuts on the other side of town. Over at downtown crossing. I couldn’t have killed Rex.”
Mulligan snorts and leans his arm back on his chair. “I think you’re forgetting something. You’re a time traveler. You could have killed him, went back in time and put yourself somewhere else.”
“My daughter wouldn’t have done something like that. She’s sixteen, not a killer.”
But Lara flinches. I see it and I ignore it. Good God, I don’t want to know why she flinched and I won’t bring it up here. That much is for damn sure.
“Uncle Rex put her through a lot if the stories are true. If the rumors are true that she spent two years being experimented on, tormented, and locked away in a cage. Who wouldn’t want to kill someone like that? Of course she can’t prove any of that happened…” Mulligans’ voice drifts off.
“There’s a USB port in the back of my head, do you want to feel that?”
Mulligans shakes his head. “I’ll prove it somehow that you did this. I know you did. I feel it in my gut, Montgomery. And you weren’t scared. It wasn’t in sel
f-defense. He was in his damn car. You knew exactly what you were doing.”
Lara bites her lip and she doesn’t say anything, but I slide my arm around her shoulders. “I’d like to take my daughter home now.”
Mulligans opens his mouth to speak as there’s a knock at the door. A woman in an expensive suit comes in and her hair is pulled back in an elegant twist for so late at night. “This ends now.” She slides her card across the table to Mulligans. It says her name is Alicia Livingston “I’m Lara’s attorney and unless you’re arresting her, she’s free to go.”
A defense attorney? But who called her? Not that I’m not grateful or anything, but then through the open door I see him standing with my wife.
My ex-wife.
Jax.
I rise from the table even though I know it’s a bad idea. Mulligans and the defense attorney are in a verbal duel. Lara sits there and stares up at me. Her gaze is loving, but worried. She grabs my hand. “Daddy.”
It’s a warning more than anything else so I back down. My anger goes from a rolling boil to a simmer and I nod, breaking my gaze away from Jax. I’m pretty sure based on the look on his face he knows this isn’t over.
Not by a long shot.
“Come to my office sometime tomorrow, Lara.” Alicia speaks softly and her even tone seems to sooth Lara. “We’ll straighten all this out. I’ll get as much information from you as I can and I’ll prove you were nowhere near the house when this happened.”
Lara lets out a sigh of relief and I shake Alicia’s hand. “Thanks for coming. I gotta tell you, I was nervous. This place, well I never wanted to come back.”
She smiles and it seems sincere. I guess that’s why she gets paid the big bucks and all I ever did was wash the floors in other people’s buildings. “Get a good night’s rest, Mr. Crane. We’ll see you soon.”
I usher Lara out and I watch her run straight into her mother’s arms. Miranda’s in an overcoat that barely covers her fuzzy pajamas and it’s been so long since I’ve seen her like that, I can barely look at her.
Lara was scared based on how hard she hugged her mom and sunk into her. More than I realized. Miranda, as much anger as I might hold for her right now, is a good mother. The way she hugs Lara, strokes her face, you can tell it makes everything better in a way only a mother can do for her kid. I’m glad Lara has that.
She says she didn’t have it before and I’m glad she has it now. But Jax, the snake, hugs Lara too and it takes everything in me not to order the bastard away. Jax and Miranda are stiff with each other, but with Lara, Jax is all love and attention.
Just like a father should be and it makes me boil to witness. He did everything for ten years that was supposed to be me mine and he knew I was innocent. The whole time he knew, Jax just took my place and kept his mouth shut.
How am I just supposed to let that go?
“I need to get her home. We’ve been here for hours. C’mon, Lara.” I motion toward the door.
“Bye.” Lara says to her other set of parents quietly and follows after me. She reaches for my hand and I take it.
Miranda sighs and I avoid her soft, doe eyes. “John, wait.”
“Later.” I growl with a promise.
I’m not done with Miranda or Jax Montgomery. Not by a long shot.
****
It’s been a long time since I’ve tucked Lara in. She’s seventeen. It’s stupid to even suggest it, but I make her a cup of warm milk like I used to and sit at the foot of her bed. She sips it and never says how stupid I’m being. Maybe she’s wanted this to.
“We’ll clear this up tomorrow. Do your best not to worry and get a good night’s sleep.” I pat her foot and lean over to kiss her forehead.
I remember a different time. When Lara was two in pink tutus and tiaras. When she was three and would only wear an apron when heading out to the store. And when she was five, crying as the police ripped her away from me. Somehow I have to let that go so we can have a future. A real one where her dad isn’t bitter and angry all the time.
Just not sure how I get there. I might not be able to unless I say my piece, but I don’t need Lara to hear it. She’s been through a lot and with Patricia’s trial coming in a few months, my girl needs everyone’s support. Even lying snakes like Jax Montgomery.
She twists the end of the blanket between her fingers just like she did as a kid. “You never asked if I did it. If that detective is right.”
“I don’t need to ask. I know you didn’t.”
Lara’s face is surprised and relieved. Far as I’m concerned, the bastard deserved it so a little lie between father and daughter, what’s the matter with that? Lara can’t know I think she’s a murderer. But what she did, what I know she did, as far as I’m concerned was a public service.
“Sleep tight, pumpkin.”
When I rise from the bed, she calls me back. “Daddy, you should know that before I jumped back into this timeline, everything that happened before I got here…”
“Yeah?” I ask when Lara’s voice drifts off.
Fresh tears shine in her eyes. “Lara was trying to prove you were innocent. She might not’ve known you like I do, but she believed in you. Just like I do. That’s how I was able to get all those papers on Rewind. She stole them. Not me.”
I smile through my broken heart and part of it heals. I had wondered if Lara didn’t have those alternate memories of me if she’d love me. I guess I have my answer and with that comes a little peace.
All those years I missed my baby girl and she was missing me too. It was a cruel fate for any family and one I wouldn’t wish on my enemy. Even if it was Jax.
Lara Crane
I wake with a headache and to the smell of bacon one of my favorite things and something Mom rarely cooks. Plus coffee, after my long night, I’m really going to need coffee to get myself through school and our early appointment with my defense attorney.
Having a defense attorney isn’t as cool as I thought it would be, but she’s nice. Helping Mom and Jax out with the government and giving me some advice about testifying as the trial date grows closer. Pretty soon, she’s not going to need any other clients if we keep getting ourselves in trouble.
Dressed in skinny jeans and a purple sweater, I grab my parka from beside my bed and immerge like a brand new woman in the kitchen. “Smells good.” I say with a smile.
Dad turns and he’s grinning too. He’s dressed in a nice shirt and a pair of slacks. I haven’t seen him so dressed up—in my entire life—and wonder if that’s all for the lawyer. He pours two orange juices and sets them on the table.
“I have a job interview today. It’s nothing much so don’t look so excited, but it’s not the mall either. Or a janitor job.”
“That’s great.” I’m beam with happiness for him and pride. “I know you’ll do great.”
He does a half eye roll. I think maybe I embarrassed him. He grabs the frying pan to dish out the bacon and it slips from his hand. Dad gasps as bacon grease splatters.
“Dad!” My voice echoes loud and everything stops. Dad’s frozen in midair and the bacon grease expands like droplets of rain, suspended in time. Carefully I take the frying pan and slide the bacon onto our plates.
With a delicate finger, I puncture the grease droplets like bubbles, except they don’t drip they simply disappear with a simple sparkle of light. Even the ones about to stain Dad’s nice shirt, I easily take care of.
Sometimes time travel can be handy, but my ability to pause time, is getting worse. Growing stronger. I try to ignore my worry as Dad snaps back into time with me. He glances at the frying pan on the stove and the bacon on our plates.
“Did I do that?”
I tap his shoulder with a forced smile. “Let’s eat, okay? We don’t want to be late.”
That’s at least one thing that a time traveler doesn’t have to worry about.
****
The meeting with Alicia goes pretty well even if I’m still half asleep. We meet at her office and
even Dad seems to be at ease.
I go over everything that happened that night. What I ordered at Dunkin Donuts, which one it was, and how there was a camera up in the corner.
“We’ll get that footage.” Alicia promises. “Once we do, you’ll have an alibi and they’ll be no court of law that’ll ever convict you. Time travel or not.”
Relaxing, I take a deep breath. “I just hope there isn’t a trial.”
“There won’t be. This will all be a bad memory in a few days. A week tops. Mulligans knows he can’t prove a thing, I just have to figure out why he’s pushing so hard. My problem. Not yours.” Alicia stands and we shake hands.
Dad shakes her hand too. “Thanks for everything, Ms. Livingston.”
She nods and there’s a happy glint in her eye. “Now go be a kid for a while, Lara. You deserve a little break before the circus starts.”
Sounds like good advice so at the subway stop, Dad and I part. He gives me a hug and I lean against him. “Good luck at your interview.”
“I’ll tell you all about it later. Call me after dinner maybe.”
Part of me wishes that I wasn’t going back to Mom’s that night. That I could just live with Dad, but I miss Mom and Jax too. My sister and brother. Life is complicated now in ways that don’t even involve any time travel.
On the train I text Donovan to figure out where to meet him, and he doesn’t answer. Usually he picks me up and we drive to school together. It’s been that way as far back as I can remember so it feels a little weird to be walking through the halls alone.
I go to my locker and grab my books. He’s not in homeroom and by the time I’m on my way to first period science lab, my stomach is uneasy. Sure, Don could just be sick or under the weather, but to not answer me…
I’m worried about him as I flip open my text book. When someone calls my name I startle in their direction.
Kat Murphy with her pencil in hand is smirking at me. “Hey Lara, think you can forward to tomorrow and steal the test answers for us?”